View attachment 3898929
Wow dood I agree! When someone says something dumb everyone has the right to make fun of it! Like when you thought someone could survive for SEVERAL MINUTES in a room with NO AIR just from their inhaler...
Yesterday's level 0 copecast was one of the hardest to sit through. He loves to "publically ridicule" people as he said, but when someone says he's wrong he becomes the biggest victim ever.
>I was upset about a character dying and you were being a jerk!
Bruh are you actually 12??? Rhetorical ofc I know he's a 40 year old man wearing a pacman shirt, but who gets upset that some copy paste character dies in a shitty walking sim?
>You were hitting me as I was down!
Man you'd think this nigga was Jewish with how often he cries out as he strikes you. Very semitic behavior, his Italian ancestors are downstairs crying rn
"I could have been right". LMAO. But you absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt, were not dumbass. And now free speech can have consequences except for you right?
He's afraid about his legacy. DSPs self-image is very different to how we look at him. He could and would never acknowledge that he's a lolcow or that he's on the same level as Boogie or Wings. He's not like those guys *thumb* and Kat agrees with him. Phil is running a live streaming and on demand video production business that provides meaningful content for free. He's not a "lolcow".
Someone here observed this a long time ago, and I'm in complete agreement, that his life is governed by Greed, Pride, and Sloth. DSP will always be somewhat unpredictable because you can never know for certain which sin is ascendant at any given moment. His pride demands that he tell himself that he's a hardworking content creator, and that he'll leave behind a legacy of "meaningful content" that will be enjoyed by fans for years after he's gone. Accepting Keemstar's offer would have shattered this delusion, and so of course was forbidden.
But if greed is ascendant, the priorities shift, the money becomes the most important thing, and he takes the offer. If Keemstar makes the offer again at some point in the future, I see it as entirely possible that the answer could be different, regardless of how much Phil insists that he'd never do anything with him.
Lol the 8ball scheme is lowkey one of his best concepts. Shame it dosent work.
Ask again later.
Outlook unclear.
Vague answer always.
9/10 it's a vague answer that involves asking later. But even the retarded children aren't dumb enough to fall for this one.
Appreciate the ingenuity. But the effort as alway,, abysmal.
Bugged membership mechanics.
Here's a free one for the detracts. Can we get a curb the enthusiasm style memege of the rant about not lowering the membership cause we can for sure rally before the drop I'm the next few days and the abrupt lowering of the goal like 4 hours later.
I'm sure he knew the were dropping today. As always it's one big con. The idea he genuinely thought he had a couple more days to grease wheels to the og tho, hilarious.
In terms of laziness the 8 ball scam is better than the Vest Streak in its current form. He doesn't have to get up. He doesn't have to go out and buy lures or other clothes. He shakes the ball, Reads/lies about the answer, and if it says "ask again later" forces the dent to cough up another 8 bucks. It's ingenius.
Of course there's a chance that other streamers have done this for free and some even have a program built into the chat. But they aren't REAL entertainers. Not like Phil.
In terms of laziness the 8 ball scam is better than the Vest Streak in its current form. He doesn't have to get up. He doesn't have to go out and buy lures or other clothes. He shakes the ball, Reads/lies about the answer, and if it says "ask again later" forces the dent to cough up another 8 bucks. It's ingenius.
Of course there's a chance that other streamers have done this for free and some even have a program built into the chat. But they aren't REAL entertainers. Not like Phil.
True, but at the same time, DSP would ACKnowledge that they have "shared a similar experience in terms of being targets for online harassment." Perhaps that was a miscalculation by Keem; to frame it as a "lolcow" thing.
Maybe he should have played to his victimhood complex and presented the show as something else to placate his ego. The main goal is just to get them all "in the same room." The Golddust will flow by the ton whether it's the 'Lolcow Podcast' or 'Most Harassed' Podcast.
[Edit: Also I think he has severe social anxiety. He's not specifically afraid of Keemstar, just all Hue-Mans in general]
The thing about the 8ball scam is you could actually do something with it. Not with an 8ball, since that's boring and gives nothing to the viewer, but with an app I found through some Mario Party tubers. It's that stupid magic conch shell from Spongebob, but on your phone. Click the button, it randomly says 'Yes' or 'No.' Simple as.
Now, imagine if every time someone tipped a certain amount (let's say 10 bucks for the sake of simplicity), you had to consult the shell on your next decision of your walking sim, and do what it said, bar none. To steal the format wholesale:
"Well, Derichcoomer69 just tipped 1000 bits, so, I guess we gotta do this: Magic Conch, can I save Erin?"
"No."
"Well fuck, guess she dies then."
The thing about the 8ball scam is you could actually do something with it. Not with an 8ball, since that's boring and gives nothing to the viewer, but with an app I found through some Mario Party tubers. It's that stupid magic conch shell from Spongebob, but on your phone. Click the button, it randomly says 'Yes' or 'No.' Simple as.
Now, imagine if every time someone tipped a certain amount (let's say 10 bucks for the sake of simplicity), you had to consult the shell on your next decision of your walking sim, and do what it said, bar none. To steal the format wholesale:
"Well, Derichcoomer69 just tipped 1000 bits, so, I guess we gotta do this: Magic Conch, can I save Erin?"
"No."
"Well fuck, guess she dies then."
That would require effort and some thought. DSP does neither.
Once again, it's hilarious how people will suggest things to Phil that will actually have a chance to improve his stream, only for him to say "no". The guy still loves being on level one.
Oh, of course. I'm fully aware that the ardous task of finding an app, then pressing a button on his phone that DOESN'T result in sweaty men is just too herculean of a task for poor Philium, and I'm essentially asking him to move the moon for his chill streams.
It's just kinda funny how he constantly stumbles onto a decent idea, only to implement it in the dumbest way possible.
Not that I'm a Sentai / Power Ranger sperg; but he's not going over how half the show was the pre-made Japanese show, and the rest was the American stuff. He also somehow forgot the Lord Zed part that required them to get stronger Zords.
My theory is thus: people have to land somewhere. They have to find a place to belong anywhere they can find. And they will keep going lower and lower until they do.
Ironic that Green Ranger got tired of being known as Power Ranger guy that Phil forgets his name and resorts to talking only about Power Rangers Guys time on Power rangers.
My time hearing about him was he was part of the Bully Rangers during the first set of American PRs that made fun of the Blue one because he was a fag. Then I heard he was charging out the ass for signatures and even rippin up the suit in tiny pieces of fabric and askin for a lot.
I dunno, just kinda the opposite of a great, nice guy. I digress though. Phil fat lol.
Well, the better more fun members of Kiwi Farms do realize that they spend time on Kiwi Farms gossipping about fat retards. Keeps their feet on the ground. And stops em from sinking any lower.
Phil loves being his own boss, because if the company goes under, it's his own fault... ... ... you fucking beg for money, retard. You're not a savvy businessman.
Edit: Legal Phil is my favorite but also most rage inducing version of Phil.
I missed the part of him announcing this 8ball nonsense, not anymore. What an insult to the fanbase, for years they have asked him for more meaningful perks and now he introduces this: costs a minimum of 8$ via tips to get a vague and completely useless answer.
Like someone else said, he actually has the 8ball command on his Twitch channel, and from what I see (his Nightbot logs), he didn't even custom most or any of the replies:
Better not tell you.
Most likely.
Outlook good.
Ask again later.
You may rely on it.
No!
Yes!
Very doubtful.
It is decidedly so!
Concentrate and ask again...
Yes - Definitely!
Don't count on it.
My sources say nope.
All signs point to yes...
It is certain!
Outlook not so good...
No matter the way, peak laziness.
The worst part is when you put it into perspective of him spending hundreds in a single event for Champions, those expensive preauthorised charges, etc.
Never gets old dave spending like 20 minutes frustrated complaining about puzzles being impossible and than realizing there's an entire area or mechanic regarding the puzzle he wasn't aware of.
The smugness remains but inside you know he realizes he's a fucking whiny retard every single time.
I missed the part of him announcing this 8ball nonsense, not anymore. What an insult to the fanbase, for years they have asked him for more meaningful perks and now he introduces this: costs a minimum of 8$ via tips to get a vague and completely useless answer.
Like someone else said, he actually has the 8ball command on his Twitch channel, and from what I see (his Nightbot logs), he didn't even custom most or any of the replies:
Better not tell you.
Most likely.
Outlook good.
Ask again later.
You may rely on it.
No!
Yes!
Very doubtful.
It is decidedly so!
Concentrate and ask again...
Yes - Definitely!
Don't count on it.
My sources say nope.
All signs point to yes...
It is certain!
Outlook not so good...
No matter the way, peak laziness.
The worst part is when you put it into perspective of him spending hundreds in a single event for Champions, those expensive preauthorised charges, etc.
I'm very behind on this because I've only just seen DSP is using the Andy Dick clip in his garbage assed intro, but does anyone know if the guy who made the intro for him is the guy who paid for the cameo? Just because he's the one being talked about doesn't mean he's allowed to take it with no attribution. Is he setting himself up for another copyright strike saga?
