Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Ophelia]

people think netflix has standards but they also aired and defended cuties.

I tried to watch Cuties so I could point to specific scenes that are bad, but I found the message is that parents need to watch their kids and monitor their internet because the net is filthy and trying to corrupt them. It ends with everyone disgusted by the way the girls “dance,” and the main girl literally runs home to her mother. You can’t make something like that out of Chris.

 

[Executive Petrel]

Is the world ready for CGI Sonichu and friends yet?

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

I tried to watch Cuties so I could point to specific scenes that are bad, but I found the message is that parents need to watch their kids and monitor their internet because the net is filthy and trying to corrupt them. It ends with everyone disgusted by the way the girls “dance,” and the main girl literally runs home to her mother. You can’t make something like that out of Chris.

from what i understand Cuties was more of a marketing mistake, than a filmmaking mistake

it knew what it wanted to be, but what that was depended a lot on the country and culture it was created in
Netflix on the other hand tried to market it as a "gRL PWR! BREAKING BOUNDARIES! CHUD SEETHING!" kinda deal

 

[Jack Awful]

Now Netflix will have to make their own CWC documentary. Seems like they've been taking documentaries from YouTubers lately; like that Pepsi Jet clusterfuck that was already covered.

They're making one on Drakkenlord aka German Chris Chan, so it's possible.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

we alway said "dont poke chris, nobody trolls him better than he himself" but i wonder if thats still the case
i wonder how Chris wouldve turned out if people kept their hands inside the vehicle for the last few years, or whether or not the funnies would continue if people just left him alone now

maybe Chris' case is like a healthy body that got an unfortunate shot that ended up destroying it, and now it requires that shot every day to stay alive

previously Chris couldn't stay away of his own accord, but now, maybe we took him so far that if we ever forgot about him, he would disappear

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

previously Chris couldn't stay away of his own accord, but now, maybe we took him so far that if we ever forgot about him, he would disappear

Chris would absolutely disappear if people quit fucking with him. The people that fucked with him made him more interesting. Before he blew up on SA, all he really did was creep on women and get kicked out of places for tard fits.

After that, it was fake dates being ruined by pickle men, singing competitions with imposters in brown, and hovel tours that belonged on an episode of hoarders. I'm not condoning fucking with Chris but he is an attention whore and almost welcomes it. I don't think Chris would know what to do without his trolls because he's been fucked his certain adult life.

Also I forgot he called people bugbears. Did this idiot play DND at that time? It seems like it would be too difficult for Chris to understand.

 

[anliteralidiot]

Chris would absolutely disappear if people quit fucking with him. The people that fucked with him made him more interesting. Before he blew up on SA, all he really did was creep on women and get kicked out of places for tard fits.

After that, it was fake dates being ruined by pickle men, singing competitions with imposters in brown, and hovel tours that belonged on an episode of hoarders. I'm not condoning fucking with Chris but he is an attention whore and almost welcomes it. I don't think Chris would know what to do without his trolls because he's been fucked his certain adult life.

Also I forgot he called people bugbears. Did this idiot play DND at that time? It seems like it would be too difficult for Chris to understand.

Bugbears is just kind of an old word, not necessarily DND. He probably picked it up from the borb.

 

[Executive Petrel]

Netflix is gonna pay him in Legos.

 

[Jon Osterman]

After that, it was fake dates being ruined by pickle men, singing competitions with imposters in brown, and hovel tours that belonged on an episode of hoarders. I'm not condoning fucking with Chris but he is an attention whore and almost welcomes it. I don't think Chris would know what to do without his trolls because he's been fucked his certain adult life.

Marvin said that in the classic era, Chris would always had to be egged on to keep producing content. But that was the classic era, and in the modern age he's probably too deluded into thinking people actually like him to ever leave. An example is in one of the more recent episodes where he protected his account for like a few hours before returning because "muh fans".

Bugbears is just kind of an old word, not necessarily DND. He probably picked it up from the borb.

It is also the name of an MLP villain, and I'm pretty sure not even someone as old as Bob would use just casually use bugbear. Chris' vocabulary is pretty well explained on the Cwcism page of the Cwcki.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

Marvin said that in the classic era, Chris would always had to be egged on to keep producing content. But that was the classic era, and in the modern age he's probably too deluded into thinking people actually like him to ever leave. An example is in one of the more recent episodes where he protected his account for like a few hours before returning because "muh fans".

It is also the name of an MLP villain, and I'm pretty sure not even someone as old as Bob would use just casually use bugbear. Chris' vocabulary is pretty well explained on the Cwcism page of the Cwcki.

does that page still get updated?

 

[Chaos Theorist]

By the scale the og doctor used, he’s high functioning. By modern measures, he can walk and talk, read and write, drive a car, could hold down a makework “job” and isn’t so retarded that it can completely excuse egregious behavior. But he’s not “high functioning” like, say, Elon Musk is. Bad example because E is exceptional, but you get what I mean. “High functioning” has higher standards now and Chris doesn’t come close to meeting them.


Chris is a kind of pants shitting cum drinking incest having gross that would be bad for their brand. Especially since it would look like they’re attacking an autistic trans woman. Plus the trans community would rather he be swept under the rug, and they have a lot of pull with the media right now. He’s all of the worst stereotypes they’re trying to fight.

It would be easier using people as Frankie McDonald and Ulillillia to gage Chris's autism

Chris is probably on the same level as Frankie but below Ulillillia

 

[Chaos Theorist]

Who should play Chris in the Netflix adaptation? I think Jonah Hill would be perfect. Kathy Bates as Barb. Clint Eastwood would be a great Bob. The dude who played Dahmer could be Liquid Chris. Where can we fit in Brendon Fraser?

Who will be playing Megan Schroeder and Micheal Snyder

 

[Manly_Brony]

Who will be playing Megan Schroeder and Micheal Snyder

It's Netflix so I'm counting on Laverne Cox and Luis Guzmán.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

Who will be playing Megan Schroeder and Micheal Snyder

There's not enough black people for a Netflix show so Zoe Kravitz and Forrest Whittaker. Of course Vanessa Hudgens will play herself.

 

[Huge Fuckin Nerd]

Marvin said that in the classic era, Chris would always had to be egged on to keep producing content. But that was the classic era, and in the modern age he's probably too deluded into thinking people actually like him to ever leave. An example is in one of the more recent episodes where he protected his account for like a few hours before returning because "muh fans".

Post idea guys, Chris needed his trolls more than they needed him. His world was falling apart and he needed the constant validation. It’s why he clung onto his enablers more than ever. I can’t imagine how many DMs he got daily. He thrived on that kind of attention.

 

[Executive Petrel]

Meryl Streep would make a good Mary Lee Walsh.

 

[Debbie Macomber]

I tried to watch Cuties so I could point to specific scenes that are bad, but I found the message is that parents need to watch their kids and monitor their internet because the net is filthy and trying to corrupt them. It ends with everyone disgusted by the way the girls “dance,” and the main girl literally runs home to her mother. You can’t make something like that out of Chris.

from what i understand Cuties was more of a marketing mistake, than a filmmaking mistake

it knew what it wanted to be, but what that was depended a lot on the country and culture it was created in
Netflix on the other hand tried to market it as a "gRL PWR! BREAKING BOUNDARIES! CHUD SEETHING!" kinda deal

I suspect if more people knew Cuties is an anti-Muslim movie, the Left would hate it and the Right would be out defending it in droves

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Who should play Chris in the Netflix adaptation? I think Jonah Hill would be perfect. Kathy Bates as Barb. Clint Eastwood would be a great Bob. The dude who played Dahmer could be Liquid Chris. Where can we fit in Brendon Fraser?

James Cordon, looks like Chris and acts like Chris and seems to think like Chris and has some form of tard luck - just stick him in a striped shirt and a medalion an you'd be pushed to tell the difference.

and the main girl literally runs home to her mother. You can’t make something like that out of Chris.

Yea Chris can't run for a start.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Chris drags down anyone he associates with. There is no gain to be had. Only misery.

It will be extra amusing seeing how anyone and everyone from Netflix be involved with this getting doxxed.

 

[FinnSven]

James Cordon, looks like Chris and acts like Chris and seems to think like Chris and has some form of tard luck - just stick him in a striped shirt and a medalion an you'd be pushed to tell the difference.

Cordon should be sentenced to life imprisonment for his crimes against television.

His guard would have to be Ruth Jones in character as Nessa from Gavin and Stacey.

Though as a special dispensation, perhaps he should be first ordered to make the Netflix Chris biopic.

That way before he is safely kept away from society forever, he will be remembered by the public at large as a childish autistic tranny with extreme Oedipal tendencies.

Don’t think I am being mean to him, it will only serve to make the public remember him more fondly.