Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Fat Rick should scrap the entire thing and write Tiny Tim running an orphanage instead. After all, Pat has first hand experience orphaning a child.
When people said he was writing a Tiny Tim fan fic I always thought it was going to be about the old singer who sang Tiptoe Through the Tulips in falsetto. Which I thought was pretty odd, but still would be more interesting than this.
 
I can save this abortion of a book with a good ending.

"Gasping, I wake up drenched in greasy sweat. Slowly, I leave dreamland, noting my beloved pink and crunchy blanket clenched around me... the acrid smell of my wife in the next room where she sleeps alone sometimes, but never with me... the omnipresent scents of her many lover's emissions... the familiar moist of the night's mistake rubbing the sores of my swollen taint. It was me, Patty, I was home and safe! This idiotic book was but a Christmas nightmare, and sweet relief washes through me as I grab my laptop. Those filthy stalkers will learn their lesson today, I am back, child!"
 
Mark my words, Patrick is going to release the full book days before Christmas, and everyone will be able to tell the last few chapters were rushed. It will flop because everyone already had their cozy holiday stories picked out by then and the Kiwifarms will win again.
There's no way Fat will ever go the self-publishing route. He can't even figure out how to use Mastodon, there's no way he's capable of putting in the effort to figure out all the steps to get his manuscript from his sticker-coated laptop to the Amazon marketplace.

More importantly, he know how many books he sold when he was with a publisher, he knows he'll sell even fewer on his own. Self-publishing would be admitting his career is dead.

Worse than that, self-publishing would mean he's not part of the in-crowd anymore. Any Tom, Dick or Jane can self-publish. Fat is an elite who is in tight with SWFA and gets published by a real, big-boy publisher. We've seen how he got about blue checkmarks once anyone could get one. As long as he's got a work-in-progress, he can be a published author in between publishers. He's still pitching to editors, etc. If he self-published, then he wouldn't even have a book to pitch. We know how long it takes him to write something. He'd be setting himself back two years by putting out this book himself.

I think Fat knows this is his last book. If there were any project he was passionate about, it would have been his first trilogy. Moving to Tor meant he finally had a prestigious publisher, but it also meant he left the rights to his first universe back with the people he left behind. Gate Crashers tried to repackage what he liked, but he must have been losing his passion, because he's not even trying to write sci-fi anymore. A Christmas Carnage is Firstname Lastname in book form. He thought to himself, as he was down in his basement with Mickey's Christmas Carol blaring in the background, wouldn't it be funny if, instead of 'carol' it said 'carnage.' That was all there was to the joke, but he laughed so hard, that he was sure there was something deeply clever in there somewhere. The entire rest of the book will simply be him trying to justify the title. As long as he draws out writing this book, he's still an author. Once it's finished, so is he.
 
I think Pat sees self-publishing as too far below him (like his brief college stint, or the one shift at Target he worked)

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This dude is such a mean-spirited, nasty piece of work I can't feel a shred of pity for him. I hope he enjoys Christmas drinking alone at the bar while PCJ's family remembers the loving father and husband lost.
It's quite hilarious that this guy's whole life revolves around trying to prove that he's a big, tough, smart guy while nobody both near and far away from him gives a shit. Fuck, Fatso Jack is more accomplished in life than this guy, he's an awful cook but his infamy is well earned precisely because of how bad he is. That makes him entertaining, while Fatrick is simply the most pathetic, insecure fat fuck I have seen in my entire life. He couldn't even be the jolly fat guy, no, he's got to be the self-important asshole that can't help but scream to the World about his delusions of grandeur and act derisive to people who commit any minor slight against him. Frankly, I believe I was wrong about him earlier: It isn't a surprise that someone didn't beat this lardass to a pulp, it's the most natural outcome. He's irrelevant, pathetic, and self-destructive to a point where you don't need to do anything at all for him to make a clown out of himself!

Aggression is something he doesn't deserve, because committing the very act of using force against this miserable asshole would imply that someone, somewhere, thought he was relevant enough to deserve a beating. He isn't. Most guys out there without big achievements in their lives actually achieve a lot by their passing: They probably had friends, family, and even strangers with good memories of them. What has Fatrick achieved, other than ruining everything around him?!
 
I think Fat knows this is his last book. If there were any project he was passionate about, it would have been his first trilogy.
Judging from publicly available records involving his activity in the insurance industry, it's obvious that he has a regular 9-5 now (that Niki probably forced him to get). So any writing he does is after his day job. It takes a shit ton of time to write an entire book. On top of that, I imagine it is extremely difficult to find the drive to do so knowing that there is zero guarantee anyone will publish it, and once he finally finishes, he's going to be pitching it to people who know full well that not one of his books has turned a profit in almost 10 years. As someone who is addicted to alcohol, food, and Twitter, the 4 hours a day or so that I'm sure he blocks out to put into his "art" I'm sure is mostly a procrastination sesh.
 
Thanksgiving at Hooligan's

It was well before open when Patrick arrived at Hooligan's Super Bar. The doors were locked, but Tess could see a portly figure approaching the entrance and she looked away from the glass and muttered "What a way to spend the holiday." Tess had been tending bar for years, and was not a bad looking gal, an honest Milwaukee seven - give or take a few depending on how many niggers you'd guess she'd fucked or how many Bud Lights had been poured down the gullet. Not that it mattered, she wasn't there to fuck, Tess was there to pour drinks and wrangle the rowdy patrons with her smooth voice and decent tits. Hell, she'd put a knit doll or two up on the back counter if you were nice enough. "I fucking wish this faggot finds something else to do, I don't want him here," she said.

An hour later, the doors to the bar were open, and the fat man entered and was served. Though Tess was annoyed, disappointed, and forced to feed and water him on that day, a Thanksgiving wish carries much power and her wish was granted a few days later by Elon Musk.

Happy Holidays, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Patmas all!
 
I love Dick Van Dyke to death. I understand he springs for elaborate spooky Halloween displays every year, so elaborate people come from miles around.
That said, why the FUCK they didn't just have his chimney sweep talk in his normal voice and say "I'm Canadian" when asked...


Reactant mass is usually called "reaction mass" or "propellant", and I'm actually surprised he knows the difference between it and "fuel." Fuel is consumed to accelerate propellant to produce thrust.
Rick is an avid reader of Project Rho, obviously. He just doesn't really understand the words and meaning, so he mixes up "reactant" and "reaction", and generally makes a mess out of things.
Well, I haven't read the book obviously, but maybe he does describe different things here: Annihilation fuel (aka antimatter), which will react/annihilate with reactant mass, and maybe the actual propellant/reaction mass is a third thing. Which would be kinda stupid and a waste of mass, but hey, it's possible.
 
Thanksgiving at Hooligan's

It was well before open when Patrick arrived at Hooligan's Super Bar. The doors were locked, but Tess could see a portly figure approaching the entrance and she looked away from the glass and muttered "What a way to spend the holiday." Tess had been tending bar for years, and was not a bad looking gal, an honest Milwaukee seven - give or take a few depending on how many niggers you'd guess she'd fucked or how many Bud Lights had been poured down the gullet. Not that it mattered, she wasn't there to fuck, Tess was there to pour drinks and wrangle the rowdy patrons with her smooth voice and decent tits. Hell, she'd put a knit doll or two up on the back counter if you were nice enough. "I fucking wish this faggot finds something else to do, I don't want him here," she said.

An hour later, the doors to the bar were open, and the fat man entered and was served. Though Tess was annoyed, disappointed, and forced to feed and water him on that day, a Thanksgiving wish carries much power and her wish was granted a few days later by Elon Musk.

Happy Holidays, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Patmas all!
On the subject of Thanksgiving, Fat said that he had two family dinners lined up. But didn't Fat play DnD one night, and then publicly announce some non-Thanksgiving activity (or spend the whole night obsessively childing Twitter) and never had any family dinners at all?
 
On the subject of Thanksgiving, Fat said that he had two family dinners lined up. But didn't Fat play DnD one night, and then publicly announce some non-Thanksgiving activity (or spend the whole night obsessively childing Twitter) and never had any family dinners at all?

Of course he didn’t.

He fucking tweets every beer, fart and random thought he has.

Surely he would tweet going to thanksgiving dinner with his family as a way to own the atalkers?

Unless he is in hooligans so frequently that they are more of a family to him than his actual family?

I don’t mean that they care about him more than his family, just that they know him better and hate him less.

Secondly, will he spend Christmas at hooligans?

I think he will.
Nikki probably has a lover by now.

What’s the betting she has already started divorce proceedings without informing him?
 
Personally, I like the snippet from In Duh Black "Jenna" from the other forum posted while discussing his most recent spate of one-star reviews:
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"Annihilation Fuel" sounds like something the slob releases after a particularly large helping of barely edible Hooligans meatloaf hooks up with all the other rotten matter in his digestive system and causes "reactant mass".
This doesn't make any sense. If it's just "reactant mass" that could be anything. Without being specific, this sentence tells the read with any knowledge of science that they got rid of every single thing that could react with another substance. This dumb fuck wants to pretend he has a PhD in science?
Carbon reacts with oxygen to yield carbon dioxide, that's a reactant.
Here's a little fun experiment you can do with your kids
Unless you're Patrick, because he gave up his rights as a father. He's also a dumb fuck.
"Fuck other authors! Buy my books fuckers!"
My wife has more balls than this "man" and she gave birth to three Jews.
 
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Judging from publicly available records involving his activity in the insurance industry, it's obvious that he has a regular 9-5 now (that Niki probably forced him to get). So any writing he does is after his day job.

Please do tell! I hope Quasi is getting his due cut of the earnings?
 
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