Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Big Al's Famous Pork]

I was just rewatching Garbage Stew and was curious what y’all would make with his ingredients. Some assumptions will have to be made about the food condition (I.e. imagine you made it and it is decent/not rotten). Try to make a main course and some sides. Here is the list:

• Sweet potatoes
• Smoked Turkey
• Bacon
• Injected smoked sirloin
• Hot dogs
• Onion
• Celery
• Lime
• Jarred jalapeño
• Cajun seasoning
• Lagunitas IPA beer
• Salsa
• Roasted red peppers
• Sweet creamed corn
• French onion beans
• Chopped green chilies
• Beef bouillon cubes
• Spinach/salad mix

Good luck! It’ll come out better than Jack’s:
View attachment 3986607

I honestly cannot think of any cohesive dish that would require all of these ingredients. I have so many questions.

 

[AnOminous]

Who is this product even for?

Stroked out retards.

I was just rewatching Garbage Stew and was curious what y’all would make with his ingredients. Some assumptions will have to be made about the food condition (I.e. imagine you made it and it is decent/not rotten). Try to make a main course and some sides. Here is the list:

• Sweet potatoes
• Smoked Turkey
• Bacon
• Injected smoked sirloin
• Hot dogs
• Onion
• Celery
• Lime
• Jarred jalapeño
• Cajun seasoning
• Lagunitas IPA beer
• Salsa
• Roasted red peppers
• Sweet creamed corn
• French onion beans
• Chopped green chilies
• Beef bouillon cubes
• Spinach/salad mix

Good luck! It’ll come out better than Jack’s:

Pick about five or six of the ingredients, put them in a pressure cooker, do that until it looks like food.

Put the rest in another pressure cooker, then throw that shit away.

It will end up better than what Jack made.

 

[ZipDisk]

He definitely had another stroke. He's now in "perpetual drunk" mode. "Where tammy? tammy commm baaaack."

I deeply, desperately hope the return is denied. He gooped that thing up bad.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

"The cheese is cheesy"
Great review as always.

OMG! Cheese is cheesy? Who'd have thunk such a thing was possible. Was the chicken chickeny as well? Jagoff has such a way with words.

The Wi-Fi symbol on the Crockpot is flashing green and yellow. According to the manual, that means the device is still in setup mode. Jack didn't even complete the setup before bitching about it not working. If he had actually completed the setup but it just failed to connect, it would be flashing yellow.

A guy that has a tech channel should be able to finish this easily which means either he's a retard or... no he's a retard.

He is aware that crockpots come with timers on them? So you can set it to start at a certain time so it's ready when you get home? Or is doing that kind of math really too hard for him?

But the funniest thing about all this, other than him acting like a fragile bitch, is that when he's putting everything together he's angled the camera in such a way to hide his gimp arm. He knows people are making fun of him so he's trying to hide it as much as possible.

 

[Tiresome]

I was just rewatching Garbage Stew and was curious what y’all would make with his ingredients. Some assumptions will have to be made about the food condition (I.e. imagine you made it and it is decent/not rotten). Try to make a main course and some sides. Here is the list:

• Sweet potatoes
• Smoked Turkey
• Bacon
• Injected smoked sirloin
• Hot dogs
• Onion
• Celery
• Lime
• Jarred jalapeño
• Cajun seasoning
• Lagunitas IPA beer
• Salsa
• Roasted red peppers
• Sweet creamed corn
• French onion beans
• Chopped green chilies
• Beef bouillon cubes
• Spinach/salad mix

Good luck! It’ll come out better than Jack’s:
View attachment 3986607

By only using a third of that stuff you can make a perfectly delicious and non-insane soup.

 

[Adamska]

Hahaha It's been a while since Jack's gotten that angy. Also a completely useless product that he only used as an excuse to eat his pain away with Crack chicken... again. By the by, cheese does like to curdle and go horridly wrong when put at the heats he did with that device, so GG there Jack.

I'd almost feel a bit of sympathy given I've had issues with IOT shit refusing to connect correctly, but again it's a fucking slow cooker. Its whole point is to cook stuff slowly and at a low heat for a good while, and this thing did it in spite of him not getting it set up properly.

I was just rewatching Garbage Stew and was curious what y’all would make with his ingredients. Some assumptions will have to be made about the food condition (I.e. imagine you made it and it is decent/not rotten). Try to make a main course and some sides. Here is the list:

• Sweet potatoes
• Smoked Turkey
• Bacon
• Injected smoked sirloin
• Hot dogs
• Onion
• Celery
• Lime
• Jarred jalapeño
• Cajun seasoning
• Lagunitas IPA beer
• Salsa
• Roasted red peppers
• Sweet creamed corn
• French onion beans
• Chopped green chilies
• Beef bouillon cubes
• Spinach/salad mix

Good luck! It’ll come out better than Jack’s:
View attachment 3986607

The issue is there's too many items to make anything good and they do not compliment anything that well. If forced to try some ideas I'd come up with what I'll call Bastard's Turkey Chili. Use the turkey finely shredded, and then use salsa, the green chilis, red peppers, onion, the cajun seasoning, and the beer with a bouillon cube. Reduce until the flavors blend.

It's the best of the worst in terms of trying to use them all that I personally can come up with.

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

I'll take one of these and call it a day. Why in God's name would anyone need a wifi enabled Crock Pot when the whole point is to basically set it and forget it..

 

[That Damned Tiger]

I'll take one of these and call it a day. Why in God's name would anyone need a wifi enabled Crock Pot when the whole point is to basically set it and forget it..View attachment 3989298

Maybe Jack wants to show off how hip he thinks he is in his head. Buy the newest technology with all the shiny lights and electronic gizmos and he'll surely gain everyone's respect by showing it off. But alas, once again he tips his hand and shows how incredibly stupid and wasteful with mommywife's money he is. Plus, in telling and not showing everyone how much of a failure he was in trying to set it up, it gives him an excuse to be all angy with 'this stupid technology'.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I see people leaving snarky comments on Jack's videos all the time, so I don't think he has to manually accept every comment any more because there's no way he'd allow some of them that show up. However, when I leave a comment it only shows up for me, if I switch accounts I can't see it. I can leave comments on other non-Jack videos, so has Jack personally banned me from commenting on his channel?

 

[p1138]

I see people leaving snarky comments on Jack's videos all the time, so I don't think he has to manually accept every comment any more because there's no way he'd allow some of them that show up. However, when I leave a comment it only shows up for me, if I switch accounts I can't see it. I can leave comments on other non-Jack videos, so has Jack personally banned me from commenting on his channel?

It's possible? But as far as the other snarky comments, it's entirely likely that mushbrain just doesn't "get it" and has no idea they're even snarky in the first place.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I see people leaving snarky comments on Jack's videos all the time, so I don't think he has to manually accept every comment any more because there's no way he'd allow some of them that show up. However, when I leave a comment it only shows up for me, if I switch accounts I can't see it. I can leave comments on other non-Jack videos, so has Jack personally banned me from commenting on his channel?

He shadowbanned you. You’d have to create a new burner to shitpost. Lol.

 

[charlesdickens]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rhkn1C76ZA

F As In Frank FOOD: The Choices We Make

 

[rubytintedchix]

Jack just uploaded the first edition of the “F as in Frank” podcast. Charles is in it. It’s 1 hr 21 minutes long. I don’t have time to listen and recap this morning, but please feel free to knock yourself out.

Edit: ninja’d by a few seconds.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack mentioned that he couldn't hook Bluetooth up to the wifi crockpot. A quick scan of the instructions shows that there are several steps needed to hook it up to your Alexa device. The only functions for Alexa are setting the heat level or checking the timer.

 

[Pig Cups]

I suspect that is not something that happens very often, or ever.

I like to imagine Tammy having to lift a giant gunt out of the way in order to give Jack access, à la Rasputia Latimore in Norbit (2007).

The physical exertion involved proves to be far too taxing, and the two of them gradually slide into a marriage where interest in touching one another dwindles, and their sex lives die like a wet fart.


Also, I was on Hinge and I saw this profile. The similarities in name/appearance to Tammy Jr. made me chuckle.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I'll take one of these and call it a day. Why in God's name would anyone need a wifi enabled Crock Pot when the whole point is to basically set it and forget it..View attachment 3989298

I have the same exact model just like a lot of people. That thing was bought back in the 70's and it still works great. No need for WiFi enabled bullshit.

Maybe Jack wants to show off how hip he thinks he is in his head. Buy the newest technology with all the shiny lights and electronic gizmos and he'll surely gain everyone's respect by showing it off. But alas, once again he tips his hand and shows how incredibly stupid and wasteful with mommywife's money he is. Plus, in telling and not showing everyone how much of a failure he was in trying to set it up, it gives him an excuse to be all angy with 'this stupid technology'.

It's because as a massive consoomer he always needs the latest model of everything and it's an excuse to buy it as he's "reviewing" it on his show and can probably claim it as not only a tax write off but a business expense.

Meanwhile he has how many slow cookers already? There's literally no need for another one.

 

[TheLazyMan]

Hello frens! Join us today at 2pm today. We promise, we're not gonna show up on your Wi-Fi!
We'll bathe you in Golden Streams of mirth and satire.

Also, announcing our #SneedmericaFirst winner this week:

@Double_Spaghetti​

First for sneed.​

Join us at 2pm HERE

 

[Pig Cups]

My favorite is when he's boasting to two women about how he tried to strangle his son. He's completely oblivious to how utterly horrified they are at his open lunacy.

And one of those women is Tammy, who reacted with barely-veiled pleasure at the story being recounted. That moment demonstrates the No. 1 reason why I have no sympathy for her at all as she shuffles through life, her manbaby husband chained to her like a ball of dead weight, wondering “what could have been?” as she fights the urge to put a gun in her mouth like R. Budd Dwyer.

It’s deserved. Even though there are the occasional rumblings of sorrow for her, they are heavily misplaced.

I don't. I can only watch little bits of him at a time. Usually the bits where he tries to combine everything and the end product especially if it's on Youtube. I'm not watching the entire thing to drive up his engagement. If I do watch a video of his, it's one that's been archived. He gets no money from me hatewatching him.

I’ll actually watch the non-archived stuff. I know I’m giving him engagement, yes. But whatever fruits he reaps from engagement are marginal at best. Financially, his channel is a loss.

Furthermore, if my efforts provide Jack with a mere flicker of validation, ego boost, and desire to continue, then it’s worth it. The milk must flow, and I hope to enjoy more years of progressively worse Jack fuck-ups.

Here’s the screenshot of Rob getting Jack to admit the Italian Beef video was deep sixed.

View attachment 3985326

There are certain, mysterious (and oftentimes morbid) things in life that pique our curiosity- the more they’re hidden from us, the more we want to see them: They might be artifacts under seal from the Kennedy administration, or other government secrets. They might be pictures of medical horror, like Anna Nicole Smith’s rotting carcass, or pictures taken of Charla Nash upon arrival at the hospital.

This is one of those instances. I *MUST* see the lost Italian beef video. Think about it- it was so fucking bad, that even Jack Scalfani took a look and went “yeah, nope.” Jack. Fucking. Scalfani. The man who publicly showcases himself assembling some of the most repulsive (and dangerous) excuses of “cooking” imaginable, and eating raw chicken with pink flesh.

Really makes you wonder about the degree of deliciously unspeakable repulsion that occurred in that video. And because of that, it only makes me want to watch it more.

 

[semitooth]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rhkn1C76ZA

F As In Frank FOOD: The Choices We Make

his tiny little head on those tiny little shoulders makes those headphones look ridiculous

 

[Rabid Weasels]

I dont think crack chicken is supposed to be swimming in thin liquid like that. But thats his signature move i guess.