They’re cheap and the majority of Americans do not know any better. Source: myself, who grew up poor and had Little Debbie snack cakes and didn’t know there was better out there until I was an adult. Although they did occasionally try to educate as here’s a series of cards they had on the presidents 30 years ago: https://scottsdalecards.com/1992-little-debbie-u-s-presidents-set-39/
Anyway, back to Tubbers. She likes Little Debbie because that gross oily taste and feel to the snack cakes is right up her alley. Many fats just try to scarf down food as quickly as possible, these snack cakes are designed for people like Tess. She finally found a sponsor she actually likes for more than just the paycheck.
Late as fuck but man, I had a feeling she'd virtue signal while stuffing her face. It always happens around Thanksgiving.
Can never get over how disgustingly oily her skin is, or those lips. Maybe that's why she can't get a man, I can't imagine kissing her would be pleasant in the slightest.
Edit: Damn, I learned quite a bit about shitty snack foods from this thread. Guess I can cross most of that off any future shopping lists, thanks.
Could not help but notice Tess is not wearing that tacky ring she bought to “honor” her very bestest friend ever, Jolene’s sister Lizette, who was conveniently never mentioned until she was thoughtful enough to off herself and give Tess an avenue for free asspats. I think it had some ashes in it, or a lock of her hair? So meaningful!
I imagine that after unboxing it for attention, it was relegated to the back of Tess’s junk drawer with the rest of the gaudy costume jewelry.
Throw clocks at me for bringing this up so long after the fact, but the Farms was down a lot around the time Tess got the ring, so I didn't address it then:
When Tess received that ring, Jolene got one too. But in the post about it, Jolene was described merely as her "best friend's" sister. Never mind that it was Jolene who spent years looking after Tess's kids, or that she was the one who let Tess and Bowie live with het after Nick and Tess got evicted and Tess was too broke to get her own place.
You'd think it was Lizette, who Tess had never even mentioned before her death, who had been the loyal, self-sacrificing friend for years, and Jolene was just her sister who Tess sort-of knew but was basically a stranger.
This is what it is to be a friend of Tess's—discarded when you get your own life and are no longer useful to her.
Having finally said that, I'll come back to the present day to say that new hairstyle is doing Tess absolutely no favors, and only serves to highlight how thin her hair is now. But I'm all for watching her take increasingly-desperate and ineffective measures to hide how she's falling apart due to her fatness.
Discarded like a Little Debbie box or Jeni’s ice cream tub after she got what she wants out of it. Gee, why doesn’t anyone care to associate with her anymore? That revolving door of BFFs is getting pretty rusty these days. There was Olly who popped in a few days ago but as typical, she wore out her welcome with anyone else and had to slum it with Tess. Normally the idea that the only time a “friend” would stop by is if you were their last resort is humiliating and insulting but Tess is desperate for anything, especially someone who could shore up her queer cred even just a little bit. It’s going to be a cold and lonely Christmas for the Tubbster.
They’re cheap and the majority of Americans do not know any better. Source: myself, who grew up poor and had Little Debbie snack cakes and didn’t know there was better out there until I was an adult.
And the bucketcrabbing. So much bucketcrabbing.
"What, you think you're too good for it?"
"Food is fuel."
"This is something NICE, just enjoy it."
"It's not going to poison you."
"You're being ungrateful."
"You're making other people uncomfortable."
They’re cheap and the majority of Americans do not know any better. Source: myself, who grew up poor and had Little Debbie snack cakes and didn’t know there was better out there until I was an adult. Although they did occasionally try to educate as here’s a series of cards they had on the presidents 30 years ago: https://scottsdalecards.com/1992-little-debbie-u-s-presidents-set-39/
Anyway, back to Tubbers. She likes Little Debbie because that gross oily taste and feel to the snack cakes is right up her alley. Many fats just try to scarf down food as quickly as possible, these snack cakes are designed for people like Tess. She finally found a sponsor she actually likes for more than just the paycheck.
That's totally fair re snack cakes. What you're raised on really affects your baseline microbiome, you may have to actively change your tastebuds to eat healthily. Interestingly there are genetic markers that make some more tolerant of bitter flavours (eg raw brocolli isn't instant yuck for those with markers more tolerant of bitterness.. pl but I don't mind mango skin too bitter because I have this variant per testing). Its not dissimilar to how some find coriander soapy, others dont- it's gene variants. So for some who are way less tolerant of bitter flavours- like raw veg- eating vegetables would taste significantly more bitter unless roasted etc. Maybe Tess has this. But also lazy+deathfat southern diet+weed+eating fast+no motivation to change? Of course that means "zomg I love little Debbie's!!" #tessholliday
While Tess is a lazy dickhead, it isn't just as easy as 'eat better, lardo'
Rancid and artificial is correct, and ON PURPOSE. Milton S Hershey put a heavy emphasis on fresh milk in his chocolate, but also wanted high shelf stability, which he achieved through SPOILING THE MILK. This is why American chocolate is so ass compared to European chocolate, with that hint of vomit to it. The sludge they make to coat snack cakes can’t even claim that prestige. It’s quite literally palm oil loaded with chocolate to make an oily glaze that is technically “chocolate coating”.
Stick to the home made twinkies, there is nothing you could do at home to saturate them with crap like the industry does.
I'm sure that's a factor, but like someone else said the ingredients in all kinds of American junk food really have changed over the years and become crappier.
It's like the companies realized that they can replace those more expensive "real" ingredients with the chemical equivalent of sawdust and people will still buy the products, so they just keep doing it.
If you try cheap junk food from other countries, it might still be terrible for you but each particular snack or candy usually has its own taste to it, but in America it's just the same sickly-sweetness masking that empty chemical taste.
A lot of it is to keep the costs down. The cost of even halfway decent ingredients has shot up and are variable so if the “food” is 90% chemical, then there’s more stability to the pricing. This ensures the box of snack cakes remain $2.99 (or whatever) for a few more years. To bring it back around, if people are like Tubbers and just scarf down the cake without really tasting it, people aren’t going to notice unless they get some weird chemical aftertaste.
It does eventually catch up. A bunch Burger King locations have been shutting down because they switched to inferior ingredients and now they’re even worse than McDonald’s. So some Burgerlanders do eventually get tired of it and move on. Also food options are getting slightly better in America, “foodie” culture slowly but surely trickles outside of major urban areas so there has been an improvement since the 1990s and 2000s, where I’d say it was at its worst. Of course Tubby Tess was growing up during those years.
I’m on team Snack Cake but I think it’s because of my trailer trash roots.
It’s bizarre to me that a mother of 2 has only mentioned being excited for the holidays in the context of food. Seasonal snacks > magical holiday memories with her kids. I can’t imagine there aren’t a ton of fun things to do in LA with kids Bowie’s age. Instead she wastes a day hunting for cake. Merry Christmas, Bowie! She might give you one.
I’m on team Snack Cake but I think it’s because of my trailer trash roots.
It’s bizarre to me that a mother of 2 has only mentioned being excited for the holidays in the context of food. Seasonal snacks > magical holiday memories with her kids. I can’t imagine there aren’t a ton of fun things to do in LA with kids Bowie’s age. Instead she wastes a day hunting for cake. Merry Christmas, Bowie! She might give you one.
What would have been an even better advertisement for those shitty cakes was if her and Bowie ate them together, and had hot chocolate and were decorating the tree or some shit. All she has to do is post shit that makes her look like a normal human person , like holiday shit with her kid or seeing Christmas lights or whatever. But no, she's such a gross narcissist, everything has to be extra and loud and annoying.
What would have been an even better advertisement for those shitty cakes was if her and Bowie ate them together, and had hot chocolate and were decorating the tree or some shit. All she has to do is post shit that makes her look like a normal human person , like holiday shit with her kid or seeing Christmas lights or whatever. But no, she's such a gross narcissist, everything has to be extra and loud and annoying.
Tessie clearly learned nothing from those Pillsbury and Kraft commercials that revolve around family dinners. While they’re consumerist crap like the rest of it, they do create that sense of warmth and nostalgia of cooking a meal of some sorts and eating together. Tess and Bowie chowing on Little Debbies would be an even cheaper imitation of that, but it’d be an attempt.
Also, I don’t know if y’all know but the owners of Little Debbie are pretty hardcore Seventh Day Adventists. Like to the point that their NASCAR driver has to take their advertising shit off the car if he races on the Sabbath. So if she got a sponsorship from a definitely religious and very likely very conservative and homophobic company but is okay with it because she gets shitty snack cakes, that’s so on brand for Tess it’s not funny. I vote she gets sponsored by Chick Fil A next.
It does eventually catch up. A bunch Burger King locations have been shutting down because they switched to inferior ingredients and now they’re even worse than McDonald’s. So some Burgerlanders do eventually get tired of it and move on. Also food options are getting slightly better in America, “foodie” culture slowly but surely trickles outside of major urban areas so there has been an improvement since the 1990s and 2000s, where I’d say it was at its worst. Of course Tubby Tess was growing up during those years.
I don't know. As a European who lives in the US, something I've noticed is that it's almost as if there are two completely different food cultures in America. It's essentially a class difference: on the one hand you have people who subsist on the cheapest, crappiest junk food imaginable; on the other you have wealthier people in wealthier places who buy food which is better quality, but mind-blowingly expensive, and it can be hard to find a middle way - reasonably-priced, high-quality food. It feels like the disparity is growing too, and it's not a good thing.
Tess's fat ass kind of straddles both sides of the fence: she lives in L.A. and will happily splurge on fancy catering for some Instagram-friendly event, and yet will equally happily stuff her face with cakes from a box in a parking lot.
Tessie clearly learned nothing from those Pillsbury and Kraft commercials that revolve around family dinners. While they’re consumerist crap like the rest of it, they do create that sense of warmth and nostalgia of cooking a meal of some sorts and eating together. Tess and Bowie chowing on Little Debbies would be an even cheaper imitation of that, but it’d be an attempt.
Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted Pilsbury crescent rolls because the ads made her think that if you bought them your family had to cook them together.
I don't know. As a European who lives in the US, something I've noticed is that it's almost as if there are two completely different food cultures in America. It's essentially a class difference: on the one hand you have people who subsist on the cheapest, crappiest junk food imaginable; on the other you have wealthier people in wealthier places who buy food which is better quality, but mind-blowingly expensive, and it can be hard to find a middle way - reasonably-priced, high-quality food. It feels like the disparity is growing too, and it's not a good thing.
And you're right to see it. There really is a lack of middle-way food in this country, and that's also why you see Americans getting so surprised when they travel internationally and realize even fast-food is made of food.
Tess's fat ass kind of straddles both sides of the fence: she lives in L.A. and will happily splurge on fancy catering for some Instagram-friendly event, and yet will equally happily stuff her face with cakes from a box in a parking lot.
Part of me wonders if she even likes the food at those events. She might find it unpleasant and only something to be eaten for the calories and the prestige.
I grew up poor and like most crappy food and I won't eat the LD Christmas Trees.
I like their Fudge Rounds now and then however.
New, post bankruptcy Twinkies suck.
Twinkies used to be Direct Store Delivery or DSD.
They went from the factory to the stores in Hostess trucks.
While the route driver was there he picked up any product that was close to expiration and brought it to a Wonder/ Hostess thrift store. (I really miss those. Interstate Brands the parent company of Hostess/ Wonder had a factory in my area, At one time there were a half dozen thrift stores near by,)
When the current owner bought the Twinkies intellectual property he decided DSD was too expensive and had some chemist come up with a shelf stable formula for Twinkies.
This formula, even when fresh, just doesn't taste very good.
Original Twinkies were famous for lasting well beyond their expiration date.
The new ones taste bad fresh and get downright rancid when they get near their date.
Aldi used to have the best knock off snack cakes.
At first I thought they were made by Hostess becase they tasted the same.
However the weights and nutritional info were different.
Sadly Aldi stopped carrying them years before the bankruptcy.
Aldi has changed and not for the better.
They used to stock lots of cheap food.
Now they want to be a knock off Trader Joes (yes I know TJ's and Aldi are kind of sort of the same company).
I find better deals at Wal-Mart and Kroger.
I am still mad at the unions at Hostess/ Interstate Brands. Yes there was mismanagement. The company was blindsided by the whole Atkins Diet fad and never really recovered. However the unions really sealed the fate of the company. IB/ Hostess had grown like many companies do by acquisitions. As a result of this they had many existing contracts with many different unions.
Hostess /IB wanted to keep DSD however to remain competitive they wanted to cut down on the number of trucks going to each store. In some areas multiple Hostess /IB trucks would visit a store each week (from now on I'm just calling them Hostess. I think thats the brand they were using at the end.) Not becase they needed multiple trucks but because the Hostess and Wonder products were covered under one contract, the Dolly Madison products under another and some local brand of bread under yet another. Many times these trucks would leave from the same factory or warehouse.
Hostess wanted to renegotiate with the route drivers. Their position was to survive the drivers would need to accept that they were Hostess drivers not just drivers for whatever brand they originally had a contract for, The drivers and their unions actually agreed to this. Little Debbie and Sara Lee route drivers are independent contractors who have to buy their own trucks and have no benefits. The Hostess Drivers realized they had a good gig and even if some concessions made it a little less good, it was still better than what they could find elsewhere.
It was the factory workers that refused to budge. Their reasoning was why take a pay cut and work when we can refuse. The company has the money, If they don't we will get unemployment at our high wage and the government will cover our pension.
If the factory workers would have agreed to concessions they would still have jobs and we would still have tasty Twinkies.
Aldi has changed and not for the better.
They used to stock lots of cheap food.
Now they want to be a knock off Trader Joes (yes I know TJ's and Aldi are kind of sort of the same company).
I find better deals at Wal-Mart and Kroger.
I’ve never seen those Christmas cakes in my life. They do look cute and might be nice for the kids at a holiday appetizer party but it’s hard for me to imagine adults eating them, especially by the box. Like, how many can a person eat?
Seeing Tess buy out the store of those Christmas cakes drives home the fact that for her and the other deathfats, holidays are all about the eating, not the occasion or spending time with loved ones. Do these fats do anything without food? Go look at Christmas lights, go see the Nutcracker, decorate trees…anything that doesn’t start and end with food?
Even if it’s food related-making and decorating your own cookies with your kid would have more meaning than buying mass produced cakes by the box just because they are shaped like trees instead of squares. But doing stuff with her kid doesn’t seem high on her list.
It’s kind of sad how she got so twisted, or it would be if she wasn’t such a bitch.
I don’t think it’s an advertisement for lil Debbie, it seems more like a feeder request if anything. Like Eugenia Cooney doing struggle on the beach videos, way too creepy and staged to be a ‘real’ video. Although I wouldn’t put it past her to just have horrible taste in food and actually be obsessed with the disgusting sawdust palm oil sugar cakes. She needs to do a cleanse, eat only natural, whole home made foods and get her palate back in shape.
