DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.

Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
I imagine they did given Phail's penchant for lying. I pretty much believe nothing he says without receipts.
Yeah but like I said that time frame for that specific industry was rough. I'm more inclined to believe he did get laid off rather than fired. But who knows.
 
I'm going to guess you didn't have your father to shield you.
No. But I did actually get an extension because I was a great worker. They extended my employment for 3 months, which was really cool. I still ended up getting laid off. My father in law and uncle also worked at the company and had each been there for over 20 years, but no one really knew that up there.
 
I can't wait for the next GDC where the devs basically throw their hands up saying that they did everything to cater to idiots like DSP, but they still failed. Short of them coming to Phil's house and yelling in his face to use the block button, what else can they do?

Besides tipping Phil, I mean.
The next sequel to God of War is going full walking simulator. Kratos is going to just walk through stages while the game holds your hand like an invalid. And whenever you make it to a boss fight, they just put a shotgun in their mouths and pull the trigger. And there will be a streamer mode so that Kratos takes one step forward when people donate, so you have to pay the streamer just so Kratos can move.

That's what going to happen when developers use DSP as their template of the "common gamer" and why companies should never cater to scrubs. If they ignored people like Phil for GoW: Ragnarok, the game wouldn't be so braindead.
 
The next sequel to God of War is going full walking simulator. Kratos is going to just walk through stages while the game holds your hand like an invalid. And whenever you make it to a boss fight, they just put a shotgun in their mouths and pull the trigger. And there will be a streamer mode so that Kratos takes one step forward when people donate, so you have to pay the streamer just so Kratos can move.

That's what going to happen when developers use DSP as their template of the "common gamer" and why companies should never cater to scrubs. If they ignored people like Phil for GoW: Ragnarok, the game wouldn't be so braindead.
Imagine if DSP was lead game designer with a triple AAA budget and a whole team to boss around. He could probably make a fun game to play when you are shitface drunk. Think of how much practice he's had drinking and gaming.

It could respond to mashing intensity and use the mic interactively to respond to volume and profanity, so it basically yields to drunken belligerence. You get Achievement popups after every mob including "Kill a Mob as a gamer with a large and significant genitalia" and other ego strokes.

It also reminds you "you should probably take a sip, you deserve it," during the high frequency of cut scenes. When the mic hears you say "shit," "turds," or "anus," a laugh track plays and LOLS scroll down the screen. I'm in the mood to go bottoms up on a 375 ml of Smirnoff just thinking about it.
 
Imagine if DSP was lead game designer with a triple AAA budget and a whole team to boss around. He could probably make a fun game to play when you are shitface drunk. Think of how much practice he's had drinking and gaming.

It could respond to mashing intensity and use the mic interactively to respond to volume and profanity, so it basically yields to drunken belligerence. You get Achievement popups after every mob including "Kill a Mob as a gamer with a large and significant genitalia" and other ego strokes.

It also reminds you "you should probably take a sip, you deserve it," during the high frequency of cut scenes. When the mic hears you say "shit," "turds," or "anus," a laugh track plays and LOLS scroll down the screen. I'm in the mood to go bottoms up on a 375 ml of Smirnoff just thinking about it.
It should secretly make the game easier and easier based on how often you yell bullshit and/or insult the developers.
 
Untitled.jpg

DSP is an expert on hotel room holidays.
 
It would be a clusterfuck of a game. Literally unplayable junk.
Unplayable as in it would have no actual gameplay. Dave's ideal game is basically a 10~20 hour movie that you occasionally have to press a button to continue, based on how much he seems to like David Cage games and other AAA titles that are basically completely on rails.
 
Last edited:
Unplayable as in it would have no actual gameplay. Dave's ideal game is basically a 10~20 hour movie that you occasionally have to press a button to continue, based on how much he seems to like David Cage games and other AAA titles that are basically completely on rails.
Just have to throw in some gambling minigames that are so heavily weighted in the player's favor it's impossible to lose. And break it up into small segments/chapters so Phil could feel like he was making progress by completing each act.
 
Just have to throw in some gambling minigames that are so heavily weighted in the player's favor it's impossible to lose. And break it up into small segments/chapters so Phil could feel like he was making progress by completing each act.
Also the 3 difficulty levels are:

-Unprofessional pussy easy

-Default Difficulty INTENDED by the developers!

-Weird ePeen measuring contest unfun Hard Intended for theoretical second runs (that will never actually happen, get scammed).


"The choice is clear, guis! <T-pose>"
 
Back