Old school spinsters - The old women in families that never married and never had kids

[gampboonerisms]

I was talking to my aunt and she mentioned someone in my family that "never felt the touch of a man", and I'm wondering how many people have that old spinster in their family history.
Or if you are like me and you are the spinster.

 

[Butterschmalz]

One of my aunts is a "spinster". Childless, never married, educated woman with a real career. Apparently she s got an alcohol problem nowadays. Nevertheless she is family and therefor I call her from time to time. I found this spinster rather inspiring...

 

[gampboonerisms]

One of my aunts is a "spinster". Childless, never married, educated woman with a real career. Apparently she s got an alcohol problem nowadays. Nevertheless she is family and therefor I call her from time to time. I found this spinster rather inspiring...

Wow, she's a living badass. That's really cool that she's lived her life like how she wants. I am not even that devoted to drinking coffee everyday.

 

[かうぼーい]

One of my aunts is a "spinster". Childless, never married, educated woman with a real career. Apparently she s got an alcohol problem nowadays. Nevertheless she is family and therefor I call her from time to time. I found this spinster rather inspiring...

this is an example of feminism being evil she will die alone childless but girl boss andrew tate nailed this debate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlDY0D7CscM

 

[Crysocyan]

this is an example of feminism being evil she will die alone childless but girl boss andrew tate nailed this debate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlDY0D7CscM

This lady isn't a feminist, she's a Christian

 

[NoReturn]

One of my aunts is a "spinster". Childless, never married, educated woman with a real career. Apparently she s got an alcohol problem nowadays. Nevertheless she is family and therefor I call her from time to time. I found this spinster rather inspiring...

"She's kind, but stay long enough and she makes you do things her way."
It's her home, dude. WTF

 

[glass_houses]

About ten years ago I met a woman who had recently left an order of nuns where she had dwelt for most of her adult life. She was quite open about being a lesbian, but she had decided to remain single and abstainate as a commitment to her God. I suspect that a great many old school spinsters were like this. Lesbians, or women who wanted to devote themselves to God without seclusion, or both.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Spinsters are badass. They’ve gone through a lot of shit throughout history and even in the modern day, and nonetheless, they’re living their lives without being dictated to by anyone else. They used to call these women viragoes (from the Latin word virile, meaning to be manly). It used to be an insult but I’ve now heard it being used to describe a woman with the mentality of a warrior. I’ve cared for many of these women, and whether they be nuns, religious, lesbians, highly educated, or just wanting to be left alone, they’re always so interesting to talk to regardless of their temperament.

 

[Android raptor]

Both my great aunts never married or had kids, and both lived into their 90s and died w/family. They were also both well-educated especially for the time period, and the younger had $$$$ and traveled the world when she was younger.

I've wondered if either were gay (especially if there's any genetic component to homosexuality, might explain were I got it from lol), but it's not like it really matters. I'm not having kids and probably never getting married, I'm probably keeping on the tradition.

 

[Precocious Halfwit]

I have a couple of spinster aunts. We suspect one may be gay (not closeted but just not forthcoming with details of her love life) and the other one has definitely had boyfriends in the past, but they're perfectly content to be single and childfree. Our family is huge and quite close emotionally and geographically so they have all the company and support they could ever wish for.

Some people just don't feel the calling to be a parent - I have friends who say they didn't think they wanted kids til it happened to them, and they've all turned out to be spectacular parents, but that sort of thinking seems like a gamble to me! I do think choosing to be a spinster takes HUGE amounts of guts and a complete peace with yourself and I wholly support it.

 

[NoReturn]

I have friends who say they didn't think they wanted kids til it happened to them, and they've all turned out to be spectacular parents, but that sort of thinking seems like a gamble to me!

I think the key differences have to do with self-knowledge, maturity, and your reasons for the decision.
If you "don't think you want" kids, that's passive, but if someone knows for a 100% fact they do not want children, that's different. That's an active statement.
Similarly, I can't fault someone who actively chooses not to have them.
It's the "Tee hee! I'm childfree and FUN! Eww, crotch-goblins!" types that rub me the wrong way.

 

[fake farts]

I am the spinster. No plans to get married or have kids. My mom is getting older, so I stay with her and help look after her, especially since my stepdad died a few months back. They were married for 26 years, and I don't think she'll remarry either. My aunt has also been unmarried for many years and doesn't mind it. She has kids and grandkids, and seems happy.

 

[Android raptor]

I come from a long line of people who should've never had kids, me choosing not to reproduce both keeps me out of prison and is doing the world a favor.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

My favorite teachers in uni were old spinsters, they were excentric and pretty crazy sometimes but pretty fun, well educated and really not PC. I don't think they were lesbians, just excentric.

One of them even explicitly said once that she was dissapointed in how many female students were only enrolled in higher education to meet someone to marry and would quit their careers soon as they do. That certainly caused a lot of seethe from certain female students who would later go on to prove Ms. Based right.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

It's natural in nature for there to be adult members of a group that supports the group rather than reproduce. They're very often the most intelligent and dangerous because they have the energy to spare to seek resources than raise offspring. Let those who want to be mothers, be mothers. Other females can and should support females who become mothers. There's no reason why everyone has to breed.

It's not healthy for a species when you force females to be mothers. You end up with shit like the mother rats of John Calhoun's rat experiment where they become disillusioned and don't care for children at all (well they were raped nonstop). Every species has females who are great mothers and those who are not so great so it's important to encourage the ones who want to become mothers when they appear.

Humans have degenerated as a species because we portray courtship and reproduction as a life requirement for all rather than a need by few. We refuse to allow females to abort unwanted/unhealthy children with laws/or stigma, we shame our men for not having sex, we portray the act of reproduction as entertainment, we claim men can be women and vice versa, we allow those of poor temperment to reproduce, we dont teach our children about proper biology, we claim eugenics is wrong yet practice eugenics on animals and plants everyday. What we have is a society of uncaring parents and unwanted children. Homosexuality and resistance to reproduce is nature's way of maintaining a quality population, and we humans have denied nature. Despite having advanced medical technology to detect societal parasites like down syndrome runts early, we allow them to live because "domesticated society" has a giant ego claims all life must live as all life has "value". In nature, such burdens would be immediately killed, bullied to become strong, or left to die. We humans have grown prideful, believing we can surpass nature.

Whether people like it or not, females are and always will be the pillars of a species as the primary caregivers and first protection against predators for offspring. Once you remove female autonomy, once you imbue males with unhealthy relationships, you threaten the entire species with poor offspring.

 

[Fag Albert]

I think the key differences have to do with self-knowledge, maturity, and your reasons for the decision.
If you "don't think you want" kids, that's passive, but if someone knows for a 100% fact they do not want children, that's different. That's an active statement.
Similarly, I can't fault someone who actively chooses not to have them.
It's the "Tee hee! I'm childfree and FUN! Eww, crotch-goblins!" types that rub me the wrong way.

Those people make my blood boil. Ironically enough, they give off a very similar aura of insecurity as "genetic legacy" folk. As if they want us to clap for them not having/having kids.

 

[Gef Mongoose]

One of my favorite teachers when I was in elementary school, was a spinster. She had been a former nun.

A few years after that, she started to date a man, and her personality changed for the worse. She acted like a bitch to anyone who wasn’t him. I haven’t heard anything about her since then, but it disappointed me.

 

[Precocious Halfwit]

I think the key differences have to do with self-knowledge, maturity, and your reasons for the decision.
If you "don't think you want" kids, that's passive, but if someone knows for a 100% fact they do not want children, that's different. That's an active statement.
Similarly, I can't fault someone who actively chooses not to have them.
It's the "Tee hee! I'm childfree and FUN! Eww, crotch-goblins!" types that rub me the wrong way.

Oh, fuck those people! I used to sub to r/childfree MANY moons ago and ended leaving in disgust at the fart-sniffing and disproportionate hatred. Folks, if your entire day is ruined by the sound of your neighbour's child innocently playing in their garden, maybe it is not the child that is the problem.

Yeah, I can't criticise people who are unsure about kids until they become parents. It's a big thing to embark on but I guess if you have any kind of maternal/paternal feeling you'll make it work. I chose years ago to never have kids and am still happily on that path (married, though, so not a true spinster) so I guess I can't really see the other side!

It's natural in nature for there to be adult members of a group that supports the group rather than reproduce. They're very often the most intelligent and dangerous because they have the energy to spare to seek resources than raise offspring. Let those who want to be mothers, be mothers. Other females can and should support females who become mothers. There's no reason why everyone has to breed.

It's not healthy for a species when you force females to be mothers. You end up with shit like the mother rats of John Calhoun's rat experiment where they become disillusioned and don't care for children at all (well they were raped nonstop). Every species has females who are great mothers and those who are not so great so it's important to encourage the ones who want to become mothers when they appear.

Humans have degenerated as a species because we portray courtship and reproduction as a life requirement for all rather than a need by few. We refuse to allow females to abort unwanted/unhealthy children with laws/or stigma, we shame our men for not having sex, we portray the act of reproduction as entertainment, we claim men can be women and vice versa, we allow those of poor temperment to reproduce, we dont teach our children about proper biology, we claim eugenics is wrong yet practice eugenics on animals and plants everyday. What we have is a society of uncaring parents and unwanted children. Homosexuality and resistance to reproduce is nature's way of maintaining a quality population, and we humans have denied nature. Despite having advanced medical technology to detect societal parasites like down syndrome runts early, we allow them to live because "domesticated society" has a giant ego claims all life must live as all life has "value". In nature, such burdens would be immediately killed, bullied to become strong, or left to die. We humans have grown prideful, believing we can surpass nature.

Whether people like it or not, females are and always will be the pillars of a species as the primary caregivers and first protection against predators for offspring. Once you remove female autonomy, once you imbue males with unhealthy relationships, you threaten the entire species with poor offspring.

BRB, having this post printed onto tea towels to hand to people who cannot take 'I just don't want kids' as an answer. It's funny that humans have this belief that we can bypass nature yet still fall into the mindset that relationships and reproducing are our only purpose on Earth.

Personally, I grew up among a lot of single female figures (the spinster aunts, friends of my mother and so on). They had no children either but you'd better believe that they would have run into burning buildings for me and my sibling. I aspire to be that same figure.

 

[NoReturn]

They had no children either but you'd better believe that they would have run into burning buildings for me and my sibling. I aspire to be that same figure.

I forget what it's really called, but the "aunt hypothesis" is the idea that - as you and @Crystal Coomer just said - non-breeding females increase the likelihood that babies born to a troupe or pack will survive into adulthood. E.g. Orca whales, wolves, etc.
I've even heard it posited this is the reason menopause exists: It prolongs the lives of females who are too old to breed but can still provide for and protect younger members of their family.

 

[Android raptor]

I know homosexuality isn't uncommon in social birds who nest in big colonies like penguins and flamingos, and gay mated pairs will raise chicks whose bio parents can't for whatever reason.

I like to think the same happened with non-avian dinosaurs.