Happy 2023 - Drunk Spergery

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1. Jani Schofield will meet and fall in love behind Susan's back. They will run away and elope and Susan won't be able to stop them.
2. George Soros and Klaus Schwab will both die - their hand picked successors will shock everyone.
3. Justin Trudeau will be elected again.

Edit: forgot to add
4. I will finally remember the password on my old account.
 
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Massive recession combined with unrelenting inflation
Another financial systemic reform (spoiler: you will be fucked over)
More government faggotry and tyrany
More disasters
Bleaker prospects
Mexicans flooding your country in a planned replacement scheme
Niggers will continue being useless
But worry not: God is not mocked. For whatever a man soweth the man shall also reap.
 
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1. Ethan Ralph will be beaten up more severely than ever before.
2. Retarded tik tok-ers will convince a generation of idiots that nuclear warfare is really that so bad and bring upon the end times.
3. The site will probably be dealing with constant ddos attacks going through to 2024 until a mysterious benefactor decides to secretly fund the site for lulz.
4. People will rage and neck themselves as the 500 sq ft shitboxes they borrowed 500k for lose 50% to 70% of their value.
5. Ukraine will continue to burn our money to "fight the good fight" and lose most of their eastern territory as the eurofags freeze this winter.
6. Biden will shit himself to death live on television.
7. They might start floating the idea of a credit reset since everyone is apparently in more debt than ever before.
 
-Deaths from illnesses (or at least sickness with more severe symptoms) will increase due to shortages of medicine across the board. It will get political and the usual blame game will drown out talks of getting production ramped up. Advice: eat as clean as you can, use meds sparingly and if possible, avoid airports.
-Elon will continue to shoot from the hip and make decisions without thinking things through until he realizes that Twitter is unsalvageable and steps down. Despite this, the company will still say it's making more money than it was. Other companies will take note and trim the fat by laying off administrative workers that work from desks. Advice: If you don't have a job, fucking get one now. If you do, maintain your position best you can, applications are coming.
-With layoffs in advertising, tech and such, streamers and influencers are going to get less payouts. When the well dries up, there will be few new faces and the established creators will either go elsewhere for income or crank the tard meter up to 11 and start humiliating themselves in uncharted ways. Advice: grab popcorn

Lastly, all predictions are on politics are a shit sandwich. We just ended a year with Fuentes giving sad catboy eyes to Trump followed by Ye broadcasting a swastika with Putin shitting himself in retreat. The tranny nuke commander getting arrested for multiple baggage theft was a side thing. It's anyone's guess what happens now.
 
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  1. some low-level TERF who we've never heard of before will realise the hypocrisy of the TERF position and turn rad-trad. Troons and TERFS will join forces to cancel her. She will get picked up by the Daily Wire.
  2. Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, will call a snap election. Somehow, he will win, with a majority government, and declare war on Russia, initiating World War III.
  3. Ralph will have a heart attack. He will survive.
  4. Morgane Oger will 41%. The suicide note will be published on Mastodon and will blame the Farms. Nobody will read it.
  5. Shoe On Head will die.
  6. Pope Benedict will become the fastest candidate to canonisation in history.
  7. Argentina will join BRICS.
  8. Passable trannies will begin LARPing as TERFs. Unpassable ones will begin LARPing as detrans (as in, "I'm only ugly and bald with a deep voice because I tried to transition to male but have desisted back to female").
  9. China will declare Seattle and Vancouver as sovereign city-states with promises of protection if NATO invades them. All the faggots therein will be forced into slavery.
  10. Rochester NY will be nuked. No-one will know who did it.
  11. Andrew Tate will be convicted of pimping. He will attempt to flee to an Islamic country. They will catch him.
  12. Elon Musk will upload his brain into a giant mecha with an artificial womb inside it gestating his clone. The clone will never leave the mecha, growing up inside it, and experiencing the world through a filter of technology.
 
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Maude Snew said:
Three letters:
T
N
D
Click to expand...
TSMT

Also I predict Ethan Ralph will either reach lolcow apotheosis and eclipse even chris chan as a legendary cow via extreme white trash hijinks, or someone else will crash into the sektur and overshadow him. Some people say PPP will overshadow the gunt but imo he doesn't have the right stuff to be a god-tier lolcow.
 
The Worldwide Mad Deadly Gangster Computer God alongside his brainlobotimized judeomulatto interbeedable with niggers Frankenstein slave golem minions will continue to ruthlessly push their felonious and vicious worldwide secret containment policy in order to implement their overall plan of exploring and controlling the entire universe via living dead Frankenstein slavery.

Video games might also have slightly better graphics, and firearms alongside ammunition will be more expensive.
 
The economic issues combined with the tech bubble issues will cause all Lolcows that use the internet to make money severe problems. If they have a thread and a Patreon/Onlyfans/Twitch/etc they will notice a big loss in revenue - this extends to people like Lindsay Ellis as well as the usual suspects like Keffals/The Gunt. Just the usual belt-tightening for us here but they have no backup plans so things will get very dicey. As mentioned above, grab the popcorn.
 
NATO having beaten Putin's "world's second-strongest military" will allow the Mainlanders to tease Taiwan and then steamroller the lot of them in a week with the second 1.7% of the annual budget. However Hasbro has moved all the production of Transformers to Vietnam and that was the only thing anyone needed them for, so the entire Eastern economy collapses. As 98% of them are dying from a new 'vid variant, nobody notices. Plus side, that GM rice that prevents Vitamin A deficiency becomes ubiquitous. Kids don't get night blindness, can thus evade pedos, everybody wins.
 
Christmas 2023 we will be treated to a very goth rendition of “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth,” and TMDWU.
 
Ethan Ralph: Ralphamania will have some sort of interesting happening. First we may see some real injuries from non-wrestlers doing wrastlin' moves. Imagine any of those guys being dumb enough to Swanton Bomb off the top rope to the floor. You know there is at least one idiot who will try it. There is at least 6 people who want to serve Ralph at any given time. There is also potential for alogs trying to attack him. Chaggot will be in the building doing something retarded I'm sure.

Chantal/Foodie Beauty: She is due back at in Canada at the end of Jan. Some good content may follow.

KingCobraJFS: Become more of a drunk or starts recovery. We shall see. I like Cobes so I hope for the latter.

Troons: Stay mad.

Kiwi Farms: Will go down for a week. Null, inspired by his true love Chantal, will begin buying hamsters and training them to run and repair servers and other electronics. This will cause him to rename the site Hamster Farms.
 
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