Her dreams were crushed at the age of 17, so she's doomed for life. Stop expecting her to achieve anything!
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I wanted to be all kinds of things as a kid. We all do; that's totally normal. I had no idea what becoming any of those things involved, and as I got older and found out, I realized I either didn't want to do them, or that I just didn't have the right temperament or aptitudes to do them.
Part of growing up is realizing that the possibilities for your life are not, in fact, endless. Ideally, you'll have enough self-awareness to allow you to keep narrowing your possibilities down to something you can do with at least a reasonable degree of success and satisfaction. So you didn't get to be an astronaut? Well, hardly anybody does, and that's okay. Grown-ups know this.
Maybe Polissa could have been a singer or an artist, but seeing how little dedication she shows to either one, it's obvious why she's not, and never going to be, either. If she really wanted to be an artist or a singer, rather than just liking the
idea of being an artist or a singer (and the admiration she imagines would come with that), Polissa would work toward either of those goals. But it's not that Polissa can't; it's that she won't. If she was "depleted of dreams," it was because she found out she'd actually have to work toward them.
$30 for a baked potato (and a tea, but still). Joh was not working at this time, by the way. What about Doordashed comfort food for his soul?!
She doesn't give a single shit about Josh, beyond what he can do for her. It's just so fucking obvious. While I find Josh unlikeable, at least he's trying to hold down a job, earn an income, and provide for that household. For that alone, he deserves some gratitude and respect from her, but it's clear she thinks he's beneath her.
If he ever lapses into a diabetic coma and dies, or ends up blind, or loses a foot, all of Polissa's grief and concern will center on what it all means for
her, and
her suffering. I guarantee it.
The most recent “me read gud” TikTok makes me hope that we see some of Polissa’s prose in 2023. Doubt we will, but she claims that she used to win awards for her writing.
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"I used to win writing contest."
Well, clearly her literary genius has atrophied.
Does this stupid woman not have access to paper and pens or pencils? You know, the tools that just about every masterpiece of literature and art were created with, prior to the invention of the typewriter and the camera?
"I need a way to write and create."
FWIW, I've written entire short stories, from shitty first draft to finished product, using nothing but the basic Notes app on my phone. I started doing it when I had a long commute on public transit, and have kept doing it because it's convenient. These days, I'm working on a novel, which I started by scribbling notes on index cards and shuffling them around until I had a plot. Then I wrote the outline and first draft by hand, on plain copier paper. Doing it that way kept me offline, so I wouldn't fall down an ADHD rabbit hole of distraction, and it's worked.
My point in all that powerleveling is that if you really want to write, you'll find a way to write, by whatever means you have at hand. Art is the same way. There have been countless self-taught artists with no money who used what they had, and made the most of it—they didn't let themselves be held back because they didn't have the "right" materials.
If the drive to create is genuine, you
will create, because to sit idle and not act upon your ideas would be too painful and frustrating. You'll find some way to express yourself, regardless of whatever impediments are in your way. Complaining that you can't start because you don't have the right tools or materials is the sign of a dilettante, a wannabe, a poseur.
Once again, it's not that Polissa can't; it's that Polissa won't. She has a second bedroom in that house that she refers to as her "studio," something many struggling artists would kill for. But it's such a mess, she doesn't have a clear work surface—and whose fault is that? Never mind; it can all be solved by an #ArtPatron making an #investment in this #RenaissanceWoman and buying her expensive tech.
My first questions are how many other people competed, or if that award was a participation trophy.
I just want to know if her poetry is either Amberlynn Reid or Vogon tier. “We live in a pew pew pew type world” makes me think the former. I just want to confirm it.
My money's on Vogon.
I bet I won the same kind of writing contests that she did. As a kid, several things I gave my teacher were submitted and then published in these gay boring books for teenage/child poetry and short stories.
I fucking forgot about it until now but I bet that's what she's clinging onto. So sad.
There are a lot of scam (or at least extremely dodgy) contests aimed at aspiring writers, including minors (which are done with the cooperation of the schools). They promise various prizes (publication in an anthology, plaques, medals), but the "winners" have to pay, at an inflated cost, for copies of the book or other prizes, and that's how these scams make their money. Poetry is especially susceptible to these kinds of scams, because it's usually short (some contests specify a limit, such as 20 lines, or a maximum word count that is certain to fit on one page).
They're legal because everything is spelled out in the fine print of the "contest" entry form, but the people who are foolish enough to be suckered into these scams either don't read what they're signing, or are too dumb to understand it.
Polissa is totally the kind of person who would fall for one of these, and maybe she did. That's the only way I can see her "winning" writing contests.
I found the tweet I mentioned about her love of "litterature" but unfortunately it was from 2021. Did you guys know she has perfect pitch? A regular Mozart! Please, combine all your talents into a spoken-word poetry jam TikTok. No math required.
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"For all my over achieving childhood brought in Science, History,
Litterature..."
God damn, she actually wrote that. LOL. Oh, Polissa. Bless your heart, and never,
ever change.
Here's the thing: if she was really so gifted in every single subject except math, you'd think at least
one teacher, one adult would have stepped forward and said, "This kid's got a real problem; she's not simply lazy. Why is it that she excels at everything else, but can't do math? And how can we help her?"
It's not like learning disabilities were a completely unknown thing when she was in elementary school. Even in a place like Tuscumbia, there should have been at least one person she encountered during her school years who could recognize that as a possibility. Nobody wants to see a bright, talented "over achieving" kid go to waste; not when she's proven she can do the work otherwise.
But then again, this is Polissa we're talking about. Polissa, who has tremendous difficulty initiating any kind of action. Polissa, who can't problem-solve her way out of a paper bag. Polissa, who always insists upon taking the absolute lowest-effort course of action, to her ongoing detriment. Polissa, who seems incapable of weighing the potential consequences of her actions, and is always shocked when things go to shit in the most predictable ways possible. And you cannot tell me those failings weren't already present in her way back in elementary school.
Polissa addresses the trolls, complete with green screened into oblivion water bottle! She needs to lube her pipes so she can declare her own total retard war!
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[warning: she went turbo Blanche here]
*drinks water bottle*
Bitch is hiiiiiigh as fuck in this one.