Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Boolean Bitch]

Haha, Big Brain Amber with her 130 IQ and her 3.9 GPA - who also eats Vicks VapoRub.

All of the (likely Facebook) IQ test results in the world are meaningless if in practice you can't function on the most basic level without a 24/7 tard wrangler gorlfriend watching over you. When would Amber have even had access to a real IQ test? I highly doubt they would have bothered with one in foster care. Actually, I take that back. Considering stuff she's claimed to have done as a child - including eating a piece of meth she found on the sidewalk, I would assume at least SOME intellectual testing occured during her intake.

Indeed. In fact, MG,W could go toe to toe with David Goggins and leave him gasping for air, I bet.

Remember when Hamber said she wanted to make losing weight 'her job" and that she wanted to have her entire focus be on that? That lasted about as long as anything does in the hamberverse, so I think a different idea is in order: food.

"Now wait, Sitch," you may say. "You know as well as anyone that food is already her hobby."

Indeed I do. But I mean for it to be her job. Her actual, primary job.

I've spent quite a long time today watching people eat food (Raina Huang, Matt Stonie, some Korean slip of a girl called G-NI, etc.) and it is their job. I would love it Hamber did the same.

First, she sucks at everything but spending money frivolously and eating. So this would play to one of her strengths.

Second, the whole point of this type of endeavor is to eat as much food as possible, which she of course can do, at plaes wiith all you can eat something (buff-ettes, endless plates of some food, etc.). In eating competitions, there's a time limit to consume as much x in y time - and we all know one of Hamber's guiding philosophies is that if you eat faster, you get more.

Third, she doesn't have to dive poop bun first into the deep end. By that, I mean she doesn't have to go right into competitive eating. She could start by going to AYCE places locally, and take on some of the local food challenges as well: a six pound burger and fries, an entire giant pizza, a five pound seafood boil, seven pounds of bbq - I have seen these very things today,

Fourth: training. Not joaquin a mile, no - the aforementioned AYCE item, yes. Just to get used to eating even past the point of good sense or discomfort. She would be then be able to work her way up to competitive eating: 10 wings in one sitting. 20 wings in one sitting. 30 wings in one sitting. And so forth. Then she could turn to starting to eat against time. 10 wings in five minutes, then 20 wings. 30 wings in 10 minutes, then 40. You get the idea. The AYCE step just lays the foundation for this. When she's good at her training, she could then start taking on some of the challenges in the local food milieu there in Lexington.

Fifth: the videos of these things would bring money in like she had a magical, money-shitting unicorn. She would be making serious bank.

Hamber: get cracking on that. Show the world where your strength really lies.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Honestly, despite her obsession with food, I think she'd even fail at this. First of all, these competitive eaters all have personalities - as well as BASIC TABLE MANNERS (though to be fair, Beard can get a little gross - especially in his older videos). During challenges Tzuyang, Eric the Electric, Katrina Eats Kilos, Beard vs Food, and Matt Stonie all chew with their mouth closed, and don't make O-faces and gross noises every time they eat something. Even during timed challenges when most of the manners go out the window, they still aren't quite as gross as Amber. They also don't regularily cry about their mentals or how shitty their audiences are in their videos or on social media. Tzuyang actually seems to have a dedicated team of trolls after her, yet she is still very polite on social media and is super sweet to the people that run into her when she's out filming.

Second, they also have to have SOME discipline - and I don't mean in regulating food intake during non-competition days (as Amber has no intention of losing her deathfat status). She's so pathological that she'd flake on a competition/challenge because of 'her mentulz', or because she just 'didn't feel like' eating whatever specific food was part of the challenge that day. Look at her carrying on about taking the tiniest bite of takoyaki (when her teeny nibble was only getting the fried batter and not even touching the octapus). She'd complain she doesn't like the brand of hotdogs in the challenge (as meat 'creeps' her out), or the 'texture' of the buns after having to dunk then in water. And SHE DOESN'T EVEN *LIKE* PIZZA!

Amber should see if National Geographic pays good money:

 

[Constellationzero]

Haha, Big Brain Amber with her 130 IQ and her 3.9 GPA - who also eats Vicks VapoRub.

Only tests Hambutt SHOULD be administered are the Vineland and Weschler Intelligence tests.

From in-field experience, she ain't gonna fare too well on the Vineland. Just Saying...

 

[Trees]

"Whenever I take an IQ test" lawl, if you aren't paying a psychologist a lot of money to admininster a very long and somewhat controversial exam, you haven't taken a real IQ test.

Bet that when Amber gets to the end of her exam she downloads all the malware packs and etcetera they want her to before giving her "results"

Though I would love to see her attempt something that should be very manageable for a genius level IQ. Maybe a second language? Calculus? Anything? Finish any book? We dream.

 

[BBygorls_Laayggs]

I wish I ss'd it since I assumed someone else was going to do it but in one of her tell-on-herself sessions she said something along the lines of it not being that big of a deal because it was out of a 5.0 GPA. I suppose she went to a very special school.

I think she said “a 3.9 isn’t a big deal when I graduated next to people who had like 4.5”
Or something like that

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

She'd NEVER make it in competitive eating circles. Never. You look at folks like Joey Chestnut and the insane amount of Nathan's hot dogs that boy can shove in his face at one go.

Slappy TMI. I once entered a hot wing eating contest sponsored by a local guy that writes for the AZ Republic. I was bigger then and could slam some wings. Did it on the regular. Three contestants. Platters of wings and pitchers of beer.
And they had to be clean to the bone.

Go time! I reached damn near 50 and said "I surrender!" The 3rd guy had dropped at like 30. The remaining guy took a swig of beer, looked me in the eye and said "Even if you eat one more, I will too." And to prove it, he reached in the platter grabbed two more and ate them, like a NASCAR fucking victory lap.

It was a fun time, although the prize was shit, didn't matter, FREE WINGS AND BEER! Good God, did I shit the next day!

Go for it, Hamber! You stuff a lot of shit in your face anyway. Binge and purge til ya POP!

 

[BBygorls_Laayggs]

She'd NEVER make it in competitive eating circles. Never. You look at folks like Joey Chestnut and the insane amount of Nathan's hot dogs that boy can shove in his face at one go.

Slappy TMI. I once entered a hot wing eating contest sponsored by a local guy that writes for the AZ Republic. I was bigger then and could slam some wings. Did it on the regular. Three contestants. Platters of wings and pitchers of beer.
And they had to be clean to the bone.

Go time! I reached damn near 50 and said "I surrender!" The 3rd guy had dropped at like 30. The remaining guy took a swig of beer, looked me in the eye and said "Even if you eat one more, I will too." And to prove it, he reached in the platter grabbed two more and ate them, like a NASCAR fucking victory lap.

It was a fun time, although the prize was shit, didn't matter, FREE WINGS AND BEER! Good God, did I shit the next day!

Go for it, Hamber! You stuff a lot of shit in your face anyway. Binge and purge til ya POP!

Competitive eating really is like a sport. She can barely eat normally without being out of breath. And then she's gonna pull the " i have itsy bitsy baby hands and my mouth is sHOoOOoooo tiny" so she wouldn't even be able to keep up since she's so fucking dainty.
And also how she dont like to have "dirty" fingers .
as a lesbian.
who supposedly have SO much sex.

 

[Chef Autism]

Competitive eating really is like a sport. She can barely eat normally without being out of breath. And then she's gonna pull the " i have itsy bitsy baby hands and my mouth is sHOoOOoooo tiny" so she wouldn't even be able to keep up since she's so fucking dainty.
And also how she dont like to have "dirty" fingers .
as a lesbian.
who supposedly have SO much sex.

Maybe instead of competitive eating, she could copycat "diets" that strongmen do. It wouldn't be much different from the amounts she probably already eats - a strongman usually has to intake 10,000 to 15,000 calories during days they train. She'd be in hog heaven.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

She'd be in hog heaven.

The hogs might have an issue with dat. She can already consume a half-dozen of dem in pork rinds alone.

 

[caffeinated_pirate]

Nah, in the archives from 2017 I just watched her try to eat an entire bag of flaming hot Cheetos and the bitch couldn’t even do that. She failed at eating, the one thing she’s good at.

She’d never make it as a professional eater.

 

[Trees]

I just wish she ate food that was good. Learn to cook, not from a meal service, get some good ingredients. The best meal she's eaten has dead ass been from the Cheesecake Factory. It kills me that she's gotten to this weight on fast food, diet snacks, and Anything soup. I mean, not as much as it's killing her, but still.

 

[Constellationzero]

What I'd give to see a video where Hambutt or Chantoddler are pulling their usual Jennifer Armstrong "I'm having a baaaad day! Here's (sniff) what it (sniff sniff) looks like (sniff) when you don't caaaaare! I'm juuuust being Ahnest and Accountable!" bullshit and the following happens:

1. A real, live person (not Jade, not Peetz) but a real LIVE person comes into frame
2. SNATCHES that entire Checkers order off the table
3. And says: "Oh, you're having a bad day? Good thing I'm here to help!"
4. Pitches all the food, or eats it up in their face while saying:
5. "Oh, don't look at me like that! Aren't you GLAD I'm here to HELP keep you ON TRACK?"

 

[BBygorls_Laayggs]

Nah, in the archives from 2017 I just watched her try to eat an entire bag of flaming hot Cheetos and the bitch couldn’t even do that. She failed at eating, the one thing she’s good at.

She’d never make it as a professional eater.

She was 100% faking it. She even claimed she usually eat bags bigger than that. I think the "challenge" was from a skinnier mukbanger so she wanted to seem daintier than a skinny gorl

I just wish she ate food that was good. Learn to cook, not from a meal service, get some good ingredients. The best meal she's eaten has dead ass been from the Cheesecake Factory. It kills me that she's gotten to this weight on fast food, diet snacks, and Anything soup. I mean, not as much as it's killing her, but still.

I think its funny af that she got to 600lbs on bland , beige, dry ass looking food- all while claiming she dont like 'traditionally' fat foods & LOOOOOVEEEEE veggies lmfaooooo Like bitch..hooooow!?!

 

[Trees]

Like bitch..hooooow!?!

It's the goddamn plant based proteins that get me. Look, I was a vegetarian for a long time. Imitation meat is fine, But it doesn't hit the same way, and there are only two reasons for it: morals (kek), or because it takes a minute to make in the microwave instead of having to pre-heat the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or heaven forbid, a pan and oil water.

She just can't wait to get her hands on it.

 

[Xenomorph]

This fuck whale could cartwheel naked and she STILL would find a way to make it boring.

 

[Mekahineyho]

So amber has been raging about fat phobia and people assuming how much she spends on food the last 2 days on IG, then proceeds to title this the prompt for new questions

 

[Ayygs and Layygs]

So Jade must still be in NY if hamber is still sperging on IG. Imagine she just left and never came back, that would be a fun arc. She hasn't had time to lose some weight, wash her disgusting hair, and slap make up on for her next feeder caretaker girlfriend.
I guess kicking geese got under her folds somehow because she stopped throwing a fit about zachary michael to bring her up outta nowhere. Since we have no new video, I'm assuming she's just alone, surrounded by take out containers, unwashed, covered in grease, and thinking she's really doing something on her q&a.
No goal video, so lemme take care of that. Be 450.3, walk 2 million steps, buy more torrid tents, and clickbait her health more than last year because she needs them views.

Unfortunately, reading teen novels, doing legos and playing with Play-Doh, breaks the illusion

Along with lack of understanding basic grammar and word pronunciation. It really is interesting to see what she'll lie about knowing how easily it can be disproved. I'm still not sure if that's the narc in her or she's really just that dumb and thinks everyone else is as well.

 

[Insulin reid]

"Whenever I take an IQ test" lawl, if you aren't paying a psychologist a lot of money to admininster a very long and somewhat controversial exam, you haven't taken a real IQ test.

Bet that when Amber gets to the end of her exam she downloads all the malware packs and etcetera they want her to before giving her "results"

Though I would love to see her attempt something that should be very manageable for a genius level IQ. Maybe a second language? Calculus? Anything? Finish any book? We dream.

Amber being a genius is just another amazeen theen she can add to her hoard of quirky shit she says about herself. The hoard is so full of contradictory bullshit she cant even make up a consistent lie about who she is as a person. Shes 32 and still cant figure out what archetype of girl/grown woman she wants to be.

So Jade must still be in NY if hamber is still sperging on IG.

i honestly wouldnt put it past her to just let amber do whatever whenever at this point. She may still be there picking up shifts at her multiple jobs to feed into ambers lifestyle. Shes an expensive fat bitch.
Amber brought her athletic skinny jade into the picture, made jade out to be this big black athlete whos just so totally "daddy/zaddy" and such a man in a womans body and pretended to be a taken care of submissive uwu princess till that became less fun because amber will always do what amber wants to do.
Now jade put on like 100+lbs because amber would rather set her house on fire and yeet herself into the sun than eat takeout alone and jade is too busy slogging around in her bigger body taking multiple part time jobs to financially help out the big gorl shes attracted to. The boner isnt worth it but jades in too deep at this point.

Bonus points for dragging down her feeder too, this is the only one im aware of that made her partner fat too lmao.

Along with lack of understanding basic grammar and word pronunciation. It really is interesting to see what she'll lie about knowing how easily it can be disproved. I'm still not sure if that's the narc in her or she's really just that dumb and thinks everyone else is as well.

Yes to bolth.

 

[LonesomeDud]

Nah, in the archives from 2017 I just watched her try to eat an entire bag of flaming hot Cheetos and the bitch couldn’t even do that. She failed at eating, the one thing she’s good at.

She’d never make it as a professional eater.

I always thought that was a put-on. I've seen a woman under a hundred lbs who wasn't a competitive eater eat a whole bag of Cheetos. I can do that without thinking.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

...I guess kicking geese got under her folds somehow because she stopped throwing a fit about zachary michael to bring her up outta nowhere. Since we have no new video, I'm assuming she's just alone, surrounded by take out containers, unwashed, covered in grease, and thinking she's really doing something on her q&a.
No goal video, so lemme take care of that. Be 450.3, walk 2 million steps, buy more torrid tents, and clickbait her health more than last year because she needs them views...

Justine has been talking more about her weight loss journey from being a mid/superfat, as well as showing her own before and after photos to prove she walked the walk - which discredits Amber's bullshit. I think Amber's also getting butthurt over the titles Justine uses for her Amber reaction videos:

Spoiler: SCREENSHOTS

Oh yeah, and she's already tried to start drama with Alex is Shook, Lyfe of a Free Spirit, Zachary Michael, and Oh Lordy it's Jordy - and none of them have taken the bait. Amber probably figures she can start some bullshit internet slap fight with Justine, and then when Amber eventually uploads a video, more people will run over to Amber's channel to watch.
( on Amber's part)

[Edited to add: here's a screenshot with a before and after photo so you don't have to search for it]

 

[LonesomeDud]

Justine has been talking more about her weight loss journey from being a mid/superfat, as well as showing her own before and after photos to prove she walked the walk - which discredits Amber's bullshit. I think Amber's also getting butthurt over the titles Justine uses for her Amber reaction videos:

Spoiler: SCREENSHOTS

View attachment 4185855
View attachment 4185859
View attachment 4185863

I forgot about Justine since she's a reactor, but she doesn't constantly shit and stomp and scream. I always thought Justine was pretty and had a pretty cool personality. I think Amberlynn forgets Justine worked past some of Amberlynn's personal struggles. Not everyone gets bankrolled by their rich grandma for WLS.