Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

The obese cunt is even going as far as to claim she has a 130+ IQ. Hamber, you most likely have a much lower than average IQ, please choose slightly more feasible lies to tell the world.

How fitting that she's making another impossible, grandiose claim. Playdoh, cheap plastic feed shaped choking hazard toys, vocabulary of a particularly stupid seven year old, shopping as if it's someone else's money, ordering crap food via ubereats just because you want something Right Now, terrible grammar, inability to properly pronounce simple, common words, inability to speak on or know anything about the world outside the luxery stankpartment. Yep, that all screams gifted intelligence.

Honestly, despite her obsession with food, I think she'd even fail at this. First of all, these competitive eaters all have personalities - as well as BASIC TABLE MANNERS (though to be fair, Beard can get a little gross - especially in his older videos). During challenges Tzuyang, Eric the Electric, Katrina Eats Kilos, Beard vs Food, and Matt Stonie all chew with their mouth closed, and don't make O-faces and gross noises every time they eat something. Even during timed challenges when most of the manners go out the window, they still aren't quite as gross as Amber. They also don't regularily cry about their mentals or how shitty their audiences are in their videos or on social media. Tzuyang actually seems to have a dedicated team of trolls after her, yet she is still very polite on social media and is super sweet to the people that run into her when she's out filming.

Ah, I should have been more clear, fam (all y'all!): I would not expect Hamber to actually win any competitions, or even to be vey much competitive. I think it would be a blast to hear her wheeze and squeal her way through one, insisting she couldn't POSSIBLY eat so much - that'd be a lie, because w all know she can hoover many thousands of calories in the privacy of her stankartment. She'd still have to pretend in public to be this dainty, quirky girl, and we can't have that!

I am thinking mainly of our entertainment, but also just thinking out loud here, because Hamber abandons the audience she despises every January, and I just don't feel like diving back into the Chantal show.

Second, they also have to have SOME discipline - and I don't mean in regulating food intake during non-competition days (as Amber has no intention of losing her deathfat status). She's so pathological that she'd flake on a competition/challenge because of 'her mentulz', or because she just 'didn't feel like' eating whatever specific food was part of the challenge that day. Look at her carrying on about taking the tiniest bite of takoyaki (when her teeny nibble was only getting the fried batter and not even touching the octapus). She'd complain she doesn't like the brand of hotdogs in the challenge (as meat 'creeps' her out), or the 'texture' of the buns after having to dunk then in water. And SHE DOESN'T EVEN *LIKE* PIZZA!

The takoyaki thing is just her being irrationally, performatively stupid. MG,W should have told her it was shrimp or orange chicken or something. She's way too picky to take part in 90% of challenges or competitions. No tomato (except salsa is JUST FINE), allergic to ayygs (except when she isn't), is "creeped out" by meat (a flat damn lie), is a "dry gorl" (because she's a retard) etc.

She'd NEVER make it in competitive eating circles. Never. You look at folks like Joey Chestnut and the insane amount of Nathan's hot dogs that boy can shove in his face at one go.

And here's one of those idle thoughts of mine. Hamber can unhinge her jaw like a fucking anaconda when it suits her. Would she learn to pick up two fistfuls of shrimp and shove them in her piehole at once, swallowing them whole like a lot of those people do? Take down half a giant burrito in one go, a bit of Diet Coke chaser to help slide it down that old pelican gullet? Burning questions! A couple of years ago, Raina and Joel did a bunch of challenges together (aside: Joel eats like everything is a race, but that boy does love food, especially bbq, and who can fault that?). Would Hamber learn to let go some of those things she's scurred of - even just one? Is she really, truly, incapable of making any changes whatsoever at this point? (Yes. But it would still be fun to watch.)

And there's one more bonus of this scenario: all the people who watch Raina an Matt and Beard and Joel and tzuyang (who I cannot beLIEVE I forgot) would have themselves a new spectacle. Since she's so unlikeable and a shit person, they'd hate her. Hamber would get an entirely NEW haydur nation audience, thereby getting more clicks and thus more money, which is all she's after. In fact, it would be a great way for her to collect feederizers' money without having to resort to OF. MG,W may be a sped, but doesn't strike me as one to leave cash on the table.

Everyone wins!

It's also been a nice thought exercise, gaming out the way things could go.

It's the goddamn plant based proteins that get me. Look, I was a vegetarian for a long time. Imitation meat is fine, But it doesn't hit the same way, and there are only two reasons for it: morals (kek), or because it takes a minute to make in the microwave instead of having to pre-heat the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or heaven forbid, a pan and oil water.

She just can't wait to get her hands on it.

I tell you what, I am currently a vegan, although not by choice (no, not gonna PL that shit). It sucks. All I want is sushi and a double bacon double cheese double patty cheeseburger with a pile of onion rings.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

So amber has been raging about fat phobia and people assuming how much she spends on food the last 2 days on IG, then proceeds to title this the prompt for new questions
View attachment 4185044

LMAO this bitch won't be answering anything because *any* question that she thinks might even slightly allude to her weight is MuH FaTpHoBiA

 

[Kier Starmer]

BRO!!! That picture in the instagram is so filtered, Amber has a neck on it. She has never had a neck.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

I forgot about Justine since she's a reactor, but she doesn't constantly shit and stomp and scream. I always thought Justine was pretty and had a pretty cool personality. I think Amberlynn forgets Justine worked past some of Amberlynn's personal struggles. Not everyone gets bankrolled by their rich grandma for WLS.

Justine is exactly as petty, dumb and turncoatwhorish as the rest of them.
I'd refer you to the @pecansandies drama.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

BRO!!! That picture in the instagram is so filtered, Amber has a neck on it. She has never had a neck.

Three choker extenders MAKE it fit!

Was just thinking about this po' fella I know. He's not Deathfat, but is like manlet-sized with a huge fupa over hanging his jeans (is male fupa a thing or are we supposed to say "beer-belly" Dunno.)

Anyway, he's got a "hot dog" neck. I mean rolls of kielbasa spanning above his hairline to beneath his shirt.

Have never seen Hamber's back neck shelf whaddever. Her hair hides it. But could there be an eight pack of knockwurst lurking there?

The horror....... the horror......

 

[Polystyrene Glioblastoma]

I decided to make Amberlynn into a sim and couldn't figure out what I was missing.
The choker! Thank you @Chaotic Pizzaparty & @Slappy McGherkin. 2023 and our ol' heifer is still gross and has no fashion.

 

[Trees]

I hope that in 2023 all the reaction channels move on to other cows and Amber realizes they were the only people she had all along.

Begging her audience for money when.

 

[Hamberger Helper.]

Hamboatlynn starting off the new years announcing that she has an iq of 135-145
Truly the most delusional thing she has ever said in her life. Really shows how retarded and narcissistic she is.
Let's hope this marks the beginning if the Geniuslynn era

E = MCdonalds
-Amberlynn (Apathetic Faxx)​

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Hamboatlynn starting off the new years announcing that she has an iq of 135-145
Truly the most delusional thing she has ever said in her life. Really shows how retarded and narcissistic she is.

Amber said on IG that we believe that Taylor Swift has an IQ of 144 because she is skinny, blonde and beautiful, but not her because she is morbidly obese. Well, I believe that Taylor Swift has an IQ of 144 because she created a music empire worth half a billion dollars by the age of 30 and Amber, at 32, is still playing with Play-Doh, Lite Brite, and reading teen novels.

Did you know that the reason Amber mispronounces words is because of anxiety and being morbidly obese? Amazing new diagnosis.

 

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

Hamboatlynn starting off the new years announcing that she has an iq of 135-145
Truly the most delusional thing she has ever said in her life. Really shows how retarded and narcissistic she is.
Let's hope this marks the beginning if the Geniuslynn era

E = MCdonalds
-Amberlynn (Apathetic Faxx)​

She is above the 98th-percentile required for Mensa membership then, assuming she is willing to undertake a supervised standardised test.

If readers of the thread do not know what '98th-percentile' actually means in practice, I am sure Amber will explain it in a clear and concise manner.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Justine is exactly as petty, dumb and turncoatwhorish as the rest of them.
I'd refer you to the @pecansandies drama.

What happened? I remember lurking on the farms during that time, as well as watching KG on YouTube (think it was in fall 2019? - It was after that Ambercon 2.0 shitshow, but before Becky was fully zombified). PS had just made a great 45ish minute psychology of Amber type of video. Then the two of them did a livestream on KG's channel. As I recall during that livestream, PS struggled to even finish their sentences with KG's constant interrupting. And as well as talking about Amber, KG kept changing the subject to starch solution). Then a little while after that PS's YouTube video no longer appeared in a search, and KG started complaining that she couldn't go on Kiwi Farms anymore because people were being 'so mean' to her - despite almost nothing being said about her here (other than the odd horse joke).

(I apologize if asking is rude, and I don't mean to offend @pecansandies or pry into their business. I'm just curious about generalities of what happened as KG's behaviour after that seemed sketchy as fuck and I just had a gut feeling that she did something shitty. And I never saw anything about it in the Amber thread - and KG doesn't have her own thread).

TwinkieBooBoo said:
If readers of the thread do not know what '98th-percentile' actually means in practice, I am sure Amber will explain it in a clear and concise manner.

I'm sure she'll get to that in a minute. Right now she's still looking for Russia on a map.

 

[Gossip Gorl]

Hamboatlynn starting off the new years announcing that she has an iq of 135-145
Truly the most delusional thing she has ever said in her life. Really shows how retarded and narcissistic she is.
Let's hope this marks the beginning if the Geniuslynn era

E = MCdonalds
-Amberlynn (Apathetic Faxx)​

There's a strong correlation between (morbid) obesity and low IQ. Big Al's IQ must be around 80-85 and that's me being generous lmao

BRO!!! That picture in the instagram is so filtered, Amber has a neck on it. She has never had a neck.

2013Lynn was the last time she had a neck

 

[FatalTater]

I would think that if a person had a higher than average IQ they would know not to kill themselves with obesity, but I am not someone who plays with baby toys all day so I could be wrong.

 

[We're All Going To Hell 2]

Okay I will be kind about all of this because it's the same feelingmI get about all the "former gifted kid" memes which is where this BS probably started.

If she were as gifted as she thinks she is, she would feel some kind of way about having zero accomplishments to show in life. Yes there truly is that line of genius & insanity but there is still something to show for it. Some sort of creation. The brain CANNOT STOP at its potential and when not living up to it there wouldn't be all these baayybeee videos. There just wouldn't. She flat out shows her intelligence online.

Spoiler

I've mentioned before my roommate reminds me of Peetz in his learned helplessness because of his autism. He's also a hoarder and he lives with me instead of a group home. However, if you open any random notebook you will find it full of math equations, chemistry equations, physics, whatever because that's his idea of fun. He is literally a genius and took every single Math class our local state uni had to offer but couldn't get his PhD because he couldn't write his dissertation or grasp the concept of reaching out to ask for help. He worked at subway for years just cutting vegetables and has the social skills of a pinecone. Now he works doing computer shit (dude I don't understand what he does) for the state that requires no public interaction.

Long winded in his spare time he still creates but is completely batshit paranoid, hoards, asocial, won't bathe, only eats microwave shit, etc...

He went to the states private gifted boarding school for high school because their focus was math & science I went to the county public one because that focus was on the fine arts & social science. For the stem kids it's apparently an easier transition to be away from their families than the fine arts kids. Because their EQ tends to be a bit different. My stepsister went to the same school and taught at MIT now has tenure at GA Tech. I am blessed I am intelligent enough to understand I am a little above average intelligence and that my roomie and sister are soo smart their lives are absolute fucking disasters without caregivers

Smart people are driven to hang out with smart people.
Highly intelligent people have aphasia, language barriers, and stutter badly sure but again. That driving force to create and do is there.
If you've been around a genius type person you know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[Constellationzero]

Once again: If Hambutt's greasy mouth is moving on that moon face, she really means to say that the only tests she SHOULD be taking are the Vineland and Weschler Intelligence.

And she'd most assuredly do very poorly on bolth.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

What happened? I remember lurking on the farms during that time, as well as watching KG on YouTube (think it was in fall 2019? - It was after that Ambercon 2.0 shitshow, but before Becky was fully zombified). PS had just made a great 45ish minute psychology of Amber type of video. Then the two of them did a livestream on KG's channel. As I recall during that livestream, PS struggled to even finish their sentences with KG's constant interrupting. And as well as talking about Amber, KG kept changing the subject to starch solution). Then a little while after that PS's YouTube video no longer appeared in a search, and KG started complaining that she couldn't go on Kiwi Farms anymore because people were being 'so mean' to her - despite almost nothing being said about her here (other than the odd horse joke).

(I apologize if asking is rude, and I don't mean to offend @pecansandies or pry into their business. I'm just curious about generalities of what happened as KG's behaviour after that seemed sketchy as fuck and I just had a gut feeling that she did something shitty. And I never saw anything about it in the Amber thread - and KG doesn't have her own thread).


I'm sure she'll get to that in a minute. Right now she's still looking for Russia on a map.

Shit, I forget too.
He made a few quite good analytical videos on Amber and somehow he and Justine buddied up. Justine was very giddy about this situation.
Until Sandies did or said something "problematic" (I think he struck a video on a channel unrelated to her which he found to be not fairuse?)
Justine like the cowardly cunt she is immediately, without talking to him about his actions privately beforehand like a reasonable person would do, ran to twitter to her much larger following and disowned him in an ugly way.
Thoroughly backtracking, saying that they were never friends, only friendly despite talking very often and him helping her out with streaming (at which she is still complete garbage at despite being on yt for what? Like more than a decade?).

That's the best of my recollection.

 

[Trees]

Do it, Albertlynn Einstein

 

[Thumb Butler]

I would love to know her real score. And not the fake whatever she is going to show on cam.

 

[Trees]

I would love to know her real score.

I just want to see her do a math placement test.

Failquit before getting to fractions or after?

 

[Chilli Soup]

"well guiiiyyyzzz, looks like I got an OFFICIAL score of 200 IQs! Soooo yeah, this DOES mean I'm alligeble to joyn MENSAHHHURRR but I just wanna focus on taking care of myself and doing my johb, right baybeee?! ... here's a mookbong!"