Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

The Patitioner said:
A reminder that this is actually the second book released by Owen A Forrems. First was this 200 page anthology of short stories about fat, complete with illustrations.
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This is new to me, the first 2 pages are already hilarious :story: I look forward to reading Mr. Forrems' works.

Edit: holy shit Christmas Carnage is amazing
 
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In the Fat reminds me of Francis of the Filth.
AnOminous said:
They are what kiwis would be without rules, if we moved from lawful neutral to chaotic evil. And it's hilarious.
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Mooner said:
I genuinely think they're the funniest people on the Internet. Us Kiwis are definitely still hilarious, but also more "autistic librarian." Symbiotic relationship, for sure.
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Just as the Saudis sell and broker oil, Kiwis sell and broker lolcow milk.

Rascals are like ISIS: they behead those who insult Norm MacDonald.
 
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This is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read. I would have gladly paid like 5-10 bucks for this book. I’m sure there’s some references I’m not getting as I don’t browse the Owen A. Forums but even still this is a masterpiece.

Personally, my favorite part is when
The trans prostitute gets eaten by the bengal tiger and then the tiger gets aids. [\spoiler]
 
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squirt reynolds said:
Can/should we get this featured on the front? I vote yes as it's maybe the funniest shit ever and Owen deserves the fawkin moolah
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A feature could really help pump up this book's numbers. I sent @Null an Amazon link for a comped copy of this so he can read it himself.

Does anybody know how many copies of this have been sold? It hasn't shown up in the Amazon rankings yet, but outselling one of Rick's books on the list will be the funniest troll I've seen since the Josiah tapes.

Edit for proof of purchase:

A Christmas Carnage gift receipt.PNG
 
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Will there be a book tour for A Christmas Carnage so we can meet Owen A. Forrems in person and get a signed print copy? Perhaps this is not the correct place to ask and I should be directing my earnest interest towards @stealthygeek on Twitter as he seems to have been doing PR for Mr. Forrems upcoming work for some time?
 
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Meriasek said:
And he never posts full body pictures. Just his face with the same stupid facial expression every time.
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The one that says “I have something to say, but it’ll have to wait until I’ve finished shitting my pants”?

FBED3EC1-D332-4591-A142-8FF693376381.jpeg

Fatrick is still tweeting like the court stuff isn’t happening. Also he can’t spell “duel”. Professional author here folks.

TerminalTryHard said:
I'm going to wager he goes straight denial and claims the book doesn't exist, combined with a general increase in hostility and spelling errors on twitter.
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Nailed it.
 
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Ivan Daniloff said:
Uh…I need the sequel. When will the pieces come together for Sgt McIntyre? The perp is fatly sweating right in front of him!
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As Macintyre walked back to his office, the phone rang again. It was the tip line for anonymous folk to report crime, and the desk clerk answered.

Macintyre paused and furrowed his brow as the clerk cast a worried side glance toward him.

"You say a man with a hunchback, average height but weirdly fat and walks like a faggot killed a nigger in Milwaukee," the desk clerk repeated back to the caller. "Yep, OK. You said your name was Mullen? Thanks for the tip, one more question. Did he have bitch tits?" The clerk hung up the phone and turned to the Sergeant.

Macintyre was already nodding when the clerk said, "We got a solid lead on the Trammell case, boss."
 
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artilleryfroth said:
The one that says “I have something to say, but it’ll have to wait until I’ve finished shitting my pants”?

View attachment 4215248

Fatrick is still tweeting like the court stuff isn’t happening. Also he can’t spell “duel”. Professional author here folks.



Nailed it.
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"Drinking since brunch"
He is definitely hitting the bottle hard knowing the debt is finally being recalledScreenshot_20230108-020752.png
 
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