I am not feeling terribly eloquent at the moment, so am just going to ramble a bit because I could use a little support/a place to vent where people will understand, at least to some degree.
(This is meant to discuss my experience alone, and is not meant to infer how anyone else should feel about this surgeon or their surgical process.)
I started delayed abdo with Dr. Cetrulo in May of 2021. I have had 7 surgeries total (and would have had more had I not decided to stop because I no longer trusted him).
At my consult I was told his method for delayed abdominal was dialed in and I would have the size I wanted, great sensation, an easy UL process etc etc. He was constantly telling me ‘it will be perfect’. I took that with a grain of salt, because I had been doing research for years, but I did believe that he could make things happen for me overall. He was so confident! Abdo with sensation and UL and a good appearance. It ended up that he hadn’t completed his method at all prior to starting mine. No one was done with UL and nerve hook up.
After all these surgeries I have a scarred, twisted, crooked dick. It’s not low enough. Despite telling my wife he did a ‘nice scrotoplasty’ everything looks exactly like it did before. At this point I do not believe he knows how to do a proper scrotoplasty, and told him as much., My meta UL is working fine, but the urethra he put in the penis (which is not hooked up yet) has scarred shut, despite him saying it wouldn’t because he ‘had a better plan than the people who had tried it before’.
I have plans to have surgery with Dr. Chen starting in March, but am exhausted, depressed, and scared to continue. I feel that so much surgery, stress, and fear has messed with my brain. I don’t feel as sharp or capable as I did before starting this process. I have a difficult time focusing. I have been trying different meds (which I hadn’t needed before) to help my anxiety etc, but haven’t found a good match so far. Going to keep trying. Started therapy etc.
But, I feel conned, lied to, misled, and super fucked up about it.
I think Dr. Chen is great, and his approach is entirely different, and much more realistic. I’m just terrified of everything at this point. It’s hard to believe that it will ever be okay. Has anyone been in this boat, and kept going with another surgeon? Has that been a better experience? Did things turn out okay?
I want to believe I won’t be stuck in this purgatory forever, but it’s hard to see at the moment. Thanks for the space to vent.