The RalphaRelics

[William Tyndale]

no one will pay 1500$ for some stupid papier-mâché sonic totem from a fat guy no one knows about.

I paid $500 for a stupid coin with Chris Chan on it.

Literally in the fucking screen caps
View attachment 4243387
>5 bids
So from just this capture alone we can see Harry listed the hat at something LESS then $305 and at least 2 people think it is worth more then that amount. 1 guy is willing to pay $305 for it.

There is one guy down to pay $305 for it.

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>37 bids

I was going to buy that diddler hat. I was prepared to pay up to $500 for it.

 

[A Logging Company]

You could power a whole town with how hard Ralph must be spinning in his metaphorical grave. Imagine knowing you could have made more selling some meme hat that made you look like a jackass with no effort than you'll make doing a live event and wrasslin' dudes for our entertainment. Can't wait to see him screaming about how he needs to be swatted again

Could have sold all those bottles of Maker's Mark when he was in his prime, the way Ghost sold autographed beer cans.

Could do authentic Ralphamale bottled water like Belle Dolphin. I don't know what would make you sick first, the raw Gunt essence or the contaminated Mexican origin. Wonder what would happen if a priest tried to bless it.

 

[Jump]

I was going to buy that diddler hat. I was prepared to pay up to $500 for it.

So DM harry on twitter and put your bid in.

 

[A Logging Company]

I paid $500 for a stupid coin with Chris Chan on it.

I was going to buy that diddler hat. I was prepared to pay up to $500 for it.

I have this image of a rich business tycoon storing all of Ralph's useless junk on a secret floor of his corporate head quarters like their precious holy relics, just like the rich guy from that Johnny Depp movie "The Ninth Gate." But instead of books dedicated to Satan, it's shit like the Diddler Hat or the wrapper from the trash burger.

EDIT: This, but all RalphaRelics

"This is my private collection. Some alogs specialize in Chris-chan, others the furry fandom. But all my objects has the same progatonist, The Gunt. Beauitufl aren't they? The soft cotton, the superb stains. Not to mention the decades of seething they contain. I know people who would kill for a collection like this. El Gunto. You'll never see as many objects from the pig himself anywhere else in the world. The rarest, the choicest items. It has taken me a lifetime to assemble. Only the supreme a-log masterpiece is missing...."

 

[William Tyndale]

So DM harry on twitter and put your bid in.

I got banned from twitter a long time ago.

I have this image of a rich business tycoon storing all of Ralph's useless junk on a secret floor of his corporate head quarters like their precious holy relics, just like the rich guy from that Johnny Depp movie "The Ninth Gate." But instead of books dedicated to Satan, it's shit like the Diddler Hat or the wrapper from the trash burger.

EDIT: This, but all RalphaRelics

"This is my private collection. Some alogs specialize in Chris-chan, others the furry fandom. But all my objects has the same progatonist, The Gunt. Beauitufl aren't they? The soft cotton, the superb stains. Not to mention the decades of seething they contain. I know people who would kill for a collection like this. El Gunto. You'll never see as many objects from the pig himself anywhere else in the world. The rarest, the choicest items. It has taken me a lifetime to assemble. Only the supreme a-log masterpiece is missing...."

The 9th gunt

 

[TheAntiE-CelebLeague00]

Why would anyone pay 100s of dollars for Ralph's cheap greasy stained clothes? They wont even have any resale value as in ten years, he will be forgotten along with this entire sector.

Why was Ralph so fucking stupid to leave all this at the Morris house? A storage locker would have saved him lots of money.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Why was Ralph so fucking stupid to leave all this at the Morris house? A storage locker would have saved him lots of money.

To be fair to Ralph, I think I'd be able to trust the father of my fiancé to look after my most valuable possessions, which would include the ashes of my deceased mother.

Then again, I probably wouldn't date a pedophile lolicon enthusiast because Lord knows apples don't fall far from their trees... and I probably wouldn't go out of my way to piss off and alienate literally every person I've ever interacted with in my fucking life... and I probably would've taken my mother's ashes with me because I don't care how well you know someone, there are some things you just don't trust people with.

 

[BigFanOfTheKillstream]

Harry is not a psycho and nothing bad can come from giving him your address, r-right?

Personally, I'd trust him on this one but I'm foolhardy.

The more high self agency A-log could also run down to their local post office and get a PO box for like $35 if they wanted to their address to at least remain anonymous. Fairly certain that the name on the envelope doesn't really matter and he could just put a fake business in that line or even leave it blank

 

[FiddleAFox]

this is stupid, he should've sold them for 3$ instead of 300$ to rub in how useless and unwanted Ralph is

Unironically the fact that da gunt is so hilariously unpopular it would make it more humiliating that people are making a profit over his constant fuckups through his relecs rather than sending him money from livestreaming 23 hours a day makes it seem a hell of a lot more pathetic in my eyes. Bet it would make him seethe big time that he's only remembered for his constant failures at this point.

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

Unironically the fact that da gunt is so hilariously unpopular it would make it more humiliating that people are making a profit over his constant fuckups through his relecs rather than sending him money from livestreaming 23 hours a day makes it seem a hell of a lot more pathetic in my eyes. Bet it would make him seethe big time that he's only remembered for his constant failures at this point.

The funny thing for me is that if Gunt was trying to sell all this stuff himself, he would get a fraction of what people are apparently willing to pay for this, simply because people would know he'd benefit.
In a timeline with a much smarter Gunt the fight with Morris would be put on to maximize the sale value of Gunts objectively worthless garbage and Gunt would receive most of the profit. He would then crow about for months how he got his ayylowgs to pay for his fancy Las Vegas wedding.

 

[Beef Elemental]

The funny thing for me is that if Gunt was trying to sell all this stuff himself, he would get a fraction of what people are apparently willing to pay for this, simply because people would know he'd benefit.
In a timeline with a much smarter Gunt the fight with Morris would be put on to maximize the sale value of Gunts objectively worthless garbage and Gunt would receive most of the profit. He would then crow about for months how he got his ayylowgs to pay for his fancy Las Vegas wedding.

He would have doxxed all the prominent ayylawgs in one fell swoop as well. All his problems would be over. Complete ralphamale victory.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I was listening to sunrise production videos today at work. Ralph said he paid 250 for the cowboy hat and 60 bucks for the box. If someone got that things plus the fedora and cat/dog hair for 305, they made quite the deal!

 

[Temperance]

The Twitter auctions for the RalphaRelics have ended. Congrats to any ayylawgs who acquired one! Use it well!



Harry says he made around $4000 (presumably from the relics + other killstream/ralphamania merchandise combined), and most of this will go to charity.
The "charge back" comment is unrelated - referring to Ralph & Meigh paying for their Vegas wedding using one of Harry's credit cards.

 

[Pit Viper Salesman]

A new relic has been discovered! It's been revealed that Cog & Dan mailed the shirt Dan wore when he beat Ralph in Portugal to Vickers as a Christmas present. The shirt still is covered in Ralph's blood.

 

[RollingRock2]

The fucking diddler hat in the hands of the alawgs ahaha
Ralph must be seething

 

[AltisticRight]

A new relic has been discovered! It's been revealed that Cog & Dan mailed the shirt Dan wore when he beat Ralph in Portugal to Vickers as a Christmas present. The shirt still is covered in Ralph's blood.

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How is this arc even real?

 

[Temperance]

A new relic has been discovered! It's been revealed that Cog & Dan mailed the shirt Dan wore when he beat Ralph in Portugal to Vickers as a Christmas present. The shirt still is covered in Ralph's blood.

View attachment 4259415 View attachment 4259419

Very cringe but also hilarious. Almost like a modern-day Lance of Longinus or Shroud of Turin or something. Thanks for sharing!

Clipped from this post:

 

[Temperance]

It turns out that Sandra's ashes were sitting in Michael Sisco's garage the entire time. They were (allegedly) handed off to Ralph during Ralphamania, so no chocolate milk mix for the ayylawgs...

[Archive]

 

[Jack Awful]

Very cringe but also hilarious. Almost like a modern-day Lance of Longinus or Shroud of Turin or something. Thanks for sharing!

Clipped from this post:
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Imagine buying the shirt of a man who beat up the father of your grandson, framing it, then displaying it in your house's main entrance so everyone sees it.

You know he's going to try to explain esoteric internet lore to any guests he'll have. God help them.

 

[Retink Retunk]

If anyone buys any of these, just remember to wear latex gloves when handling the object as gunt grease can be difficult to remove, as well as fatal to your decency.