I Caught A Shitlord This Big: The Tall Tales Of Tumblr - And that thread... was Albert Einstein.

Pepsi said:
Yesterday, I went to Walmart and there was a WHITE CIS HET MALE shitlord with a fedora, trenchcoat and a copy of mein kampf in his hand who skipped ahead of all of the transgender racial minorities in the lineup and loudly announced "HAHAHA! THE EVIL ORTHODOX PATRIARCH OF CONSTANTINOPLE ALLOWED ME TO DO THIS!!!11". I went up to the shitlord and called him a racist, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, shitty shitlord and then he told me "YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN!" but little did he know I was a non-binary genderqueered lesbian Wolfkin, so he melted right in front of all the black transgender asexual women! Everyone in the entire Walmart clapped, and then out of the goopy remains of what was once the shitlord neckbeard a young boy had arisen, the boy came up to me and said, "thank you, you're a inspiration and literally a saint. you've inspired me to do amazing things and to fight the cishet white dudebro patriarchy" what was that boy's name?...Issac Newton
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As noted earlier, please post other stories you find, don't make up your own, they get repetitive.

Like this story, which totes happened you guys
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Rip_In_Pepperino said:
On the other hand, we don't need to buy a special product to deal with some regular monthly discharge from our prostates or anything like that, I mean sure there is a certain fluid we secrete that partially comes from there, but we mostly have control over when and where that happens and we don't need anything special to clean that up.
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Yeah, sometimes, when I have had really bad diarrhea, the kind that just flushes out your entire system, I use the toilet the next day but all that comes out is this kind of snot-like stuff. What's up with that?

TMI is TMI, it isn't misogyny if I get grossed out by your bodily discharges. My SO wants to talk about how there's something wrong with her period and she's worried, I'm going to listen, but for fucks sake, BOUNDARIES, PLEASE.
 
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Harakudoshi said:
You get diarrhoea from fast food? You must have the colon of an anemic 90 year old.
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Ever eaten a doner kebab from a dodgy kebab shop in Birmingham at 2am after it's been on the spit for hours and they're down to the crap that makes up the center of the roll? You Americans think fast food is all freeze dried, pre pacakged, ammonia sterelised mechanically reclaimed meat. A good doner kebab gets up and walks away if you don't eat it fast enough.
 
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LazarusOwenhart said:
Ever eaten a doner kebab from a dodgy kebab shop in Birmingham at 2am after it's been on the spit for hours and they're down to the crap that makes up the center of the roll? You Americans think fast food is all freeze dried, pre pacakged, ammonia sterelised mechanically reclaimed meat. A good doner kebab gets up and walks away if you don't eat it fast enough.
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I'll forgive your ignorance simply because I listed my current residence on my profile rather than where I grew up. I may live in America, but I'm an Australian native. In short, don't ever call me American again.

I've had real Arabic kebobs. I've had Indian that should turn your arse into Krakatoa. I've had Mexican made with enough oil to pre-lubricate your colon. The point I'm making is, if vendor rubbish gives you diarrhoea you either had food that wasn't properly prepared, or you have the internals of a pensioner.
 
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Harakudoshi said:
I'll forgive your ignorance simply because I listed my current residence on my profile rather than where I grew up. I may live in America, but I'm an Australian native. In short, don't ever call me American again.

I've had real Arabic kebobs. I've had Indian that should turn your arse into Krakatoa. I've had Mexican made with enough oil to pre-lubricate your colon. The point I'm making is, if vendor rubbish gives you diarrhoea you either had food that wasn't properly prepared, or you have the internals of a pensioner.
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That was kinda my point dude, shitty fast food sold to drunk people at 2am has a reputation in the UK for being badly prepared and giving people a mild case of food poisoning. You're probably reading too far into this.
 
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LazarusOwenhart said:
That was kinda my point dude, shitty fast food sold to drunk people at 2am has a reputation in the UK for being badly prepared and giving people a mild case of food poisoning. You're probably reading too far into this.
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I was taking the piss with my first message, mate. You're the one who took it seriously with your "you americans'' quip. Also, 'dude'? And you call me a Yank.
 
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Pepsi said:
English translation: I was a massive cunt to my boyfriend and treated him like he was 5 so I let him "dominate me" sexually when we met up again
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I think the poster is saying that her boyfriend let her dominate him sexually as "punishment" for "mansplaining" and engaging in "cultural appropriation" (translate: for trying to have fun and enjoy the day with her).

In other words, her boyfriend's a massive cuck.
 
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Alberto Balsalm said:
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The boy you're hooking up with sends you a snap of him making tacos and drinking to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
You pretend you don't know what that means.
He explains.
You scold him for having the audacity to actually believe you.
He dumps you for being a manipulative psychopath, and you tell everyone it was because of misogyny.
 
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