Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

Keeps calling his food "beautiful" when it's not.

This is so fucking disgusting. This worthless asshole is an American, and can't even make the iconic American hamburger.

Imagine being a fucking American who can't even make a goddamn hamburger without completely fucking it up.

DIE JACK!

It's not RARE you fat fucking moron it's RAW!

Which I can get. I love bison but even on sale it's so expensive. Seeing Jack fuck up bison somehow hurts in a way that pink chicken doesn't.

It filled me with rage and made me want to curb stomp him American History X style.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Jack is a miserable fat slob. For a Christian who quotes the bible and asks his followers for prayer requests, he gloats about people losing their job. If this fat prick tried working a real job, he would not last a day. He truly is a pathetic human being.

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That's really rich coming from a guy who couldn't even keep a job as night dj and hasn't hold anykind of job for about 20 years or so.

The guy's so sedentary he literally paralyzed himself but he's gonna call others lazy.

1 Corinthians 9:27 But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.​

I'm framing this and stashing it in my museum of horror section. A soy wendigo caught in the wild.
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That soyface is making him look even more retarded as he already is.
Also, why would you let a kid even near Jack? I think there's the real danger that he would just eat that poor kid.

Jack has to be the most contemptable person that hasn't actually raped or murdered somebody. No wonder his first wife shoved his fat ass through a shower door.

Raping and murdering someone is quite hard/impossible when the victims can avoid that by just walking away from Jack. You don't even need to run, just walk away with a slow pace.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He doesn't add salt and pepper. Just squirts sugary teriyaki sauce on his raw burger. I don't know why this makes me so angry.

It's because you know he's messing it up. It hurts me too.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Jack is a miserable fat slob. For a Christian who quotes the bible and asks his followers for prayer requests, he gloats about people losing their job. If this fat prick tried working a real job, he would not last a day. He truly is a pathetic human being.

What is despicably amusing about all of this is that Jagoff really has no reason to celebrate any of that shit. Fuck, he hasn't worked a day in two fucking decades, for all of his hate of Big Tech companies he surely does love to use their products as well, and I really doubt any of those people actually did anything to him. Unless he's going on an unlikely "BIG TECH COMPANIES ARE SATANIST!!!!1!" fundie spiel, he really has no reason to judge the people in those companies for losing their jobs!

Fuck, Jagoff is so bad in his assholery that I actually struggle remembering ever meeting anyone as bad as him. Even the laziest man I have ever met, a fellow intern many years ago that was on his mid thirties (older than some mid-level employees) whose motto was to live doing as little as he could wasn't as despicable, talking to that guy during my coffee breaks was always fun, unlike Jagoff and his rants. It's seriously fucking pathetic that Jack has a need to feel better about his fuckups by putting others down, he could be on his deathbed and he would still find time to bitch about something else!

Jack has to be the most contemptable person that hasn't actually raped or murdered somebody. No wonder his first wife shoved his fat ass through a shower door.

Sometimes it feels like we are dealing with a caricature instead of a person. If you told me Jack was born from a cartoonist's comical idea of an entitled middle aged boomer with delusions of grandeur, I would 100% believe you if I didn't know better. Even the worst, non-violent assholes I met in my life had some qualities to them, this guy is a complete fuckup and would be unredeemable if it weren't so hilarious to mock the shit out of him!

 

[Not At All A Lizard]

I'm glad Duckman got around to covering the bison burger. It's just so perfect to me.

That slow buildup of the hideous looking parts, from the syrupy sauce to the soft rubber bun to the white plastic cheese, to the nasty grey burger with breadcrumbs all over it.
And then finally, that glorious moneyshot when he cuts it, with Jack moaning over it like a prostitute. It's one of the funniest food related things on the internet.

If I were being an autist I'd say August showing the end product at the start of his video was a bit too much of a spoiler, though. I know he always does that, and I'm sure it helps grab attention, but I wouldn't have done it in this case.

 

[Tiresome]

Sometimes it feels like we are dealing with a caricature instead of a person. If you told me Jack was born from a cartoonist's comical idea of an entitled middle aged boomer with delusions of grandeur, I would 100% believe you if I didn't know better.

I mean let's be real, how far off is Jack from the classic image of the stereotypical American?

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I mean let's be real, how far off is Jack from the classic image of the stereotypical American?

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He's one arm away

 

[toilet_rainbow]

He has done some "tennesee kitchen" like that horrible buttermilk chicken and garbage stew.

He also covered the freeze dried Thanksgiving food videos. He seems to be covering more Tennessee kitchen videos recently, but goes back to the classics from time to time.

I'm glad Duckman got around to covering the bison burger. It's just so perfect to me.

That slow buildup of the hideous looking parts, from the syrupy sauce to the soft rubber bun to the white plastic cheese, to the nasty grey burger with breadcrumbs all over it.
And then finally, that glorious moneyshot when he cuts it, with Jack moaning over it like a prostitute. It's one of the funniest food related things on the internet.

If I were being an autist I'd say August showing the end product at the start of his video was a bit too much of a spoiler, though. I know he always does that, and I'm sure it helps grab attention, but I wouldn't have done it in this case.

August does seem to be trying to put more effort (such as that cut to how an ideal bison burger cooking level should be), but he still makes mistakes like this. I give him more credit than Jack, though, because he does seem to be making efforts to improve his videos, however minimal they are. Jack has regressed over time and won’t listen to critique, period.

Also meatloaf burgers are an old tactic for very poor people that could only afford a pound or less of the cheapest, shittiest mince but had to feed six plus people with it. Bison is so expensive that the idea of turning it into meatloaf in any form feels like such a waste of money and meat. Kinda like Jack’s wagyu burgers. Ground wagyu is such a shitty use of such an expensive type of beef.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

I mean let's be real, how far off is Jack from the classic image of the stereotypical American?

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You need two functioning arms to operate that gun.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Also meatloaf burgers are an old tactic for very poor people that could only afford a pound or less of the cheapest, shittiest mince but had to feed six plus people with it. Bison is so expensive that the idea of turning it into meatloaf in any form feels like such a waste of money and meat. Kinda like Jack’s wagyu burgers. Ground wagyu is such a shitty use of such an expensive type of beef.

Exactly.

Nothing against meatloaf burgers if that's what you like. Twenty years ago there used to be a place downtown which would do this and they were good. Until they expanded and instead of making the patties inhouse they moved to a factory and the quality went down as they cut corners. Place is gone now.

But when it comes down to a real burger you want good quality beef, a good percentage of fat and just salt & pepper to season. These bison burgers were an abomination.

 

[Padoru]

These bison burgers were an abomination.

even if we ignore the whole Meatloaf shit those things were so thick they weren't ever going to properly cook. Just compare the "ideal" image August put. Those are like a third to half the size of what Jack threw onto his.

 

[Coom Cruiser]

I too felt a different flavour of MATI with the bison "burgers". A perfect example of pearls before swine: Jack is so incompetent and ignorant that not only does he ruin food he can't even recognise its value.

He treats food like Playdough and in doing so disrespects the people who produced it and the animal slaughtered for it, and does so with so much unwarranted confidence I want to neck myself. Can you even imagine the company's reaction to his content after they sent him that meat?

 

[AnOminous]

Can you even imagine the company's reaction to his content after they sent him that meat?

Anyone who would ruin their reputation by sending a fucking fat retarded cocksucker like Jack their product deserves the contempt they receive. Having anything at all to do with Scalfani other than sending him a cease and desist to tell him to keep their name out of his cocksucking mouth has the repercussions it deserves.

Fuck Jack, fuck this shitty company.

 

[Coom Cruiser]

Anyone who would ruin their reputation by sending a fucking fat retarded cocksucker like Jack their product deserves the contempt they receive. Having anything at all to do with Scalfani other than sending him a cease and desist to tell him to keep their name out of his cocksucking mouth has the repercussions it deserves.

Fuck Jack, fuck this shitty company.

I admire your vitriol.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

even if we ignore the whole Meatloaf shit those things were so thick they weren't ever going to properly cook. Just compare the "ideal" image August put. Those are like a third to half the size of what Jack threw onto his.

For those he should have made them half the size. That means they would have cooked a little easier, wouldn't be raw in the middle and then stack them with the cheese between them letting it melt a bit.

Everything he does is just wrong.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Ah yes, even more making fun of Fatty. The more of these the better.

Fuck me, I forgot about the "punch an egg to crack it" era. Also catch how Jack does not blink once after biting into that burger. Someone mentioned how little he blinks once before, and now it's all I can notice.

The money shot for me, personally, is the tiny bit of raw meat that shoots out the second he touches the bun with the knife.

 

[100BitchHere]

STUPID RECIPE NAME EVER
THERE IS NO CHILI AT ALL IN RECIPE

 

[ZipDisk]

Has Jack ever legitimately been sponsored? I know he's made many claims in the past, and I believe he's even been told to stop saying he was sponsored before.

 

[GoodFattyDeadFatty]

rip brown rotten sriracha

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

Spoiler: Archive 480p