Sex Toy General - We all have them. Even you.

  • Thread starter Thread starter GS 281
  • Start date Start date
Aunt Carol said:
You're wading knee-deep and going in; this subforum is thick and easy to get lost in..

This thread is mostly weird and laughable sex toys, with the occasional powerlevel.

Speaking of weird, I recently ran across a guy who does very long, in-depth pocket pussy reviews. Including an ear-themed onahole, Whisper of the Penis.
View attachment 4247538
Japanese stuff is kind of cheating, though.
Click to expand...
Infernalmonkey is hilarious. A couple of the reviews have had me laughing so hard it hurt and I needed to take a break to catch my breath.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Coolio55 and Aunt Carol
neverendingmidi said:
Infernalmonkey is hilarious. A couple of the reviews have had me laughing so hard it hurt and I needed to take a break to catch my breath.
Click to expand...
He's so well-versed in his area of expertise, and good at writing about it in ways that make sense to the layman. I mean, I don't even have a penis and I still read quite a few reviews.

In a slightly different universe (or somewhere under a different username) Infernalmonkey might be writing carefully indexed kitchen appliance reviews or sperging on YouTube about Nixie tubes.
 
Aunt Carol said:
You're wading knee-deep and going in; this subforum is thick and easy to get lost in..

This thread is mostly weird and laughable sex toys, with the occasional powerlevel.

Speaking of weird, I recently ran across a guy who does very long, in-depth pocket pussy reviews. Including an ear-themed onahole, Whisper of the Penis.
View attachment 4247538
Japanese stuff is kind of cheating, though.
Click to expand...
neverendingmidi said:
Infernalmonkey is hilarious. A couple of the reviews have had me laughing so hard it hurt and I needed to take a break to catch my breath.
Click to expand...
Lol. I'd forgotten about this guy. I have a few of his images on my machine...
jeevescrop.pngpunipet_inside.pngshreksuperstroke.jpgstankbitch04l.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Informative
Reactions: ducktales4gameboy, Clown College 2nd Year, Sparkling Yuzu and 3 others
PoweraHuskCryon said:
Can I really be doxxed by just my hand?
Click to expand...
It's just not a healthy practice in general.

1) People frequently fuck up by not stripping their exif data from photos they take. Eliminate that issue by not posting photos you've taken unless they're genuinely pertinent to conversation and always strip your own exif. I wouldn't rely on anyone to do that for me.

2) If you consistently post "innocent" pictures like that, on a long enough timeline there will be enough info to at very least figure out where you are. Read about He Will Not Divide Us if you're not familiar with the autistic NSA

3) It's embarrassing to reveal that you're fat, especially embarrassing to reveal you were death fat. It's on you what you want people to know about you, but less is better. Some people here are malicious and will fuck with you just because, regardless of what you say. Don't give them ammo.

4) If you really have to talk about yourself, like someone asks how you know about certain things, probably wise to leave red herrings as well. I'm a corrections officer from New Mexico but recently moved to Oregon after a divorce. One or none of those things are true. Good luck to the schizo piecing my profile together 😇

Idk, just try to leave the normalfag behavior at the door. There's lots of nice people here but if you're at all aware of what's been going on, there's penis-less men in dresses looking to cause as much trouble for as many people here that they can. Stay above the fray and practice good op sec
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: demicolon, Cherry Eyed Hamster, glow and 6 others
Cringe newfag said:
Kiwibros please help. I bought an XXL Fleshlight but it broke immediately, just like the last few.
Do they make these things in Kiwi sizes??? I searched XXXL fleshlights but Google is no help. I also searched "Nigger+ size dickholster" but no cigar either.

This is a true story so please help.
Click to expand...
​
Artificial vaginas (AV's to the initiated) are used to collect semen from many species, most prominently cattle and horses, but also sheep, goats, rabbits and even cats.​
​
Prerequisites to use of an AV are that the male be conscious, not significantly frightened of people, and more interested in ejaculating than in killing humans.​
horseav[1].jpg
 
  • Informative
  • Feels
Reactions: White_N and Cringe newfag
Jimmy Hopkins said:
Any men have experience with fancy electric masturbators? I'm thinking of getting the lovense max 2. https://www.lovense.com/male-masturbators
Click to expand...
The sleeve is made out of TPE, which is porous. For 99 usd I'd expect silicone.
I had to google what it's made of, because I really can't see any specifications about material on the product page. And if they're not being open about it. They're shady as fuck.
 
  • Informative
  • Deviant
Reactions: Sparkling Yuzu, siegemeister675, Jimmy Hopkins and 2 others
I'm just curious how it feels. Never used a sex toy before but I'm thinking of getting one. Don't care about the multiplayer cause I'm a degenerate loner. I don't care about material as long as I coom hard. If anyone can chime in is there a better electric masturbator for men? Idk this one looks like the best. There's pornhub videos of people using it it looks gnarly good.
 
  • Deviant
  • Like
Reactions: Gone Ham, Mesh Gear Fox and siegemeister675
Anyone know the best recommendations for skin-safe products? I feel it's about time I stop shoving random shit from China up my cooter. Never had any bad reactions, but I'm starting to think I should look after my health a bit better. Not getting cancer is more important than cooming.
 
  • Disagree
  • Deviant
Reactions: Sparkling Yuzu and siegemeister675
Timmy Jolsen said:
Anyone know the best recommendations for skin-safe products? I feel it's about time I stop shoving random shit from China up my cooter. Never had any bad reactions, but I'm starting to think I should look after my health a bit better. Not getting cancer is more important than cooming.
Click to expand...

Stop trolling BP. Its bad form. Some of us need this forum for houseplant and cooking shit.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: A Cat in a Minefield
Jimmy Hopkins said:
I'm just curious how it feels. Never used a sex toy before but I'm thinking of getting one.
Click to expand...
Not a guy, but I fell down the Infernal Monkey onahole review rabbit hole (as discussed above) and I always like to think of myself as a savvy shopper.

If you haven't tried one out before, you probably don't need to immediately pay top dollar for what someone claims is the world's best pocket pussy. Sure, it might be amazing, but you might not like it, or you might not like the enhanced features of that particular one, and end up either way with an expensive paperweight.

Metaphor time, it's like spending a ton of money on top-of-the-line for your very first guitar when you're learning to play, and then realizing later that now that you've played a while you actually prefer single-coil pickups. Except this is a hypothetical guitar that you stuck your penis into so you can't trade it back in to the store.

I dunno, man. Tenga has reputable, semi-disposable male sex toys at decent prices; if your motivation is novelty, you might want to start at a lower price point.
Timmy Jolsen said:
Anyone know the best recommendations for skin-safe products? I feel it's about time I stop shoving random shit from China up my cooter. Never had any bad reactions, but I'm starting to think I should look after my health a bit better. Not getting cancer is more important than cooming.
Click to expand...
This is a nice start: Toxic Sex Toys.

Featuring the Jar of Melted Sex Toys.
wholejar[1].jpg
 
  • Like
  • Deviant
  • Informative
Reactions: Jimmy Hopkins, Mesh Gear Fox, siegemeister675 and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back