🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.2%
  • lol no

    Votes: 337 92.8%

  • Total voters
    363
Ralph is so happy back in home sweet Mexico with his expresso machine and new wife, he went on a five star, five day bender. When he briefly sobered up today he tried to invite himself to Dax’s house in LA and when that was summarily rejected he started searching for cheap plane tickets to get across the Atlantic. He totally forgot about his big trip to the beach he was totally going to take.
 
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Crucifixions are flashier and are okay for enforcing compliance, but they take up valuable lumber and take forever. Two solid beams of wood cost money, throwing someone off a rock is free.
The damages from when the earthquake happens from tossing him isn't.
 
This is the sort of thing that matters to Ralph, not his wife or child or his health or even his sideshow of a life in general, it's ratioing Keemstar, quite the W ralph, you sad freak.

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Man, here I thought that it was sad and pathetic that a dickless tranny pushing 30 was obsessed with ratioing people he hates and bragging about it on Twitter but Ralph once again takes the cake in being a even more sad and pathetic loser. Keemstar, despite his many faults, is still living a better life than Ralph. He can still see all of his children, has a good relationship with his in-laws, is not up to his eyeballs in debit, is not a fat alcoholic pill popping gambling addict, is not in a loveless marriage to own a gossip site and happily continues to live in his hometown instead of being forced to move to another country to escape the law. Oh but you ratioed Keem on Twitter Ralph truly you are the winner in this.
 
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"Welp, my horse said no to $1000 we didn't have on the Bengals, why not waste $1400 on a frivolous trip to Rome in the midst of my legal troubles?"

Ralph truly is a creature of mystery.
That could also mean it’s a spite trip to own Meigh if it’s not an attempt to shore up favor with the trad cath catboys. Ralph did something similar with Warski and Portugal. I wouldn’t put it past him to think he’s owning Meigh who’s part Italian and discussed how she’d like to see Rome one day by traveling there after saying no to his sports betting

“Bitch you trying to tell the Ralphamale what to do? Fuck you whore!”
 
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Man, here I thought that it was sad and pathetic that a dickless tranny pushing 30 was obsessed with ratioing people he hates and bragging about it on Twitter but Ralph once again takes the cake in being a even more sad and pathetic loser. Keemstar, despite his many faults, is still living a better life than Ralph. He can still see all of his children, has a good relationship with his in-laws, is not up to his eyeballs in debit, is not a fat alcoholic pill popping gambling addict, is not in a loveless marriage to own a gossip site and happily continues to live in his hometown instead of being forced to move to another country to escape the law. Oh but you ratioed Keem on Twitter Ralph truly you are the winner in this.
One of the funniest things about Ralph is entire metric for self-worth is online attention and stats. His stats suck and the majority of his attention is from people laughing at him. No wonder he’s such an angry, miserable drunken degen.

But I think Ralph really hates Keem because Keem managed to turn his online antics into a mini-empire and he’s got plenty to show for it (nice home, successful biz, wife, family and fat nest egg.). Ralph’s career as a “e-celeb” has netted him an Airbnb rental in the third world and his FIL getting rid of what sad meager possessions that didn’t fit into the back of a pick-up truck. Ralph has nothing to show for ten years of humiliation other than his own forum on KF, a hilarious sex tape and child-support payments.

Everyone all sort of started at the same level years ago. Now look where Keem is and now look at Ralph. Keem was smart, Ralph dumb. It makes Gunt go full rage pig thinking about how rich Keem got while Ralph lives month to month e-begging in Mexico. Ralph will be homeless if he stops streaming for two weeks, Keem could probably retire from the internet if he wanted.
 
The bender continues, now he's crying tears of joy because is master is back on twitter. He can't imagine his life without Fuentes...lmao gay.
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Nick is my BEST friend!
Because don’t we all have best fwends and enemies that we talk about constantly on Twitter dot com?
Don’t you have a plane to catch Fatty Doo Doo? A date with destiny as it were.
 
The bender continues, now he's crying tears of joy because is master is back on twitter. He can't imagine his life without Fuentes...lmao gay.
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But he was best friends with all those people. Gator was his only best friend too. And hasn’t he already turned on Fuentes once? Also waiting room? I thought he couldn’t get in to see her because he was unvaxed.
 
But he was best friends with all those people. Gator was his only best friend too. And hasn’t he already turned on Fuentes once? Also waiting room? I thought he couldn’t get in to see her because he was unvaxed.
Yeah the only one iirc that turned against him for Fuentes was rand l, everyone else hates him for reasons unrelated to Fuentes and most from before he even associated with him

And yeah Fuentes started as enemy "let's ee where we both are in a year spictues" we'll ralph you're now groveling licking his boots
 
I vote for Paris.
Paris is so culturally enriched these days. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he gets himself killed after waddling down the wrong street and trying to fight off some gypsies after they rob him.

Edit: He'd also probably be the fattest person in whatever city he decides to go to, with the possible exception of London. He doesn't realize that whenever he leaves North America, his girth makes him a literal freak show.
 
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