Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Shardy Hernandez]

If the fatso finally croaks and the thread dies out with him, just know you're all wonderful. Thanks for the laughs!

 

[Snusmumriken]

I knew we shouldn’t have let him eat those cooked turkey legs. The shock to his system must have been more than he could bear.

 

[Staffy]

(Very late but)
He can't keep getting away with it!
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The DSP of Cooking gets beat by the original DSPGaming.

Long live the pigroach.

 

[Spergichu]

Don't go to the Party Cheese Salad, Jack.

 

[Lurker]

look, i know he's dying from fatness or whatever, but honestly i still cannot believe his middle name is russell. jack russell.

this was not a man destined for success, except at clogging his arteries.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Second heart attack

When was his first? I don't remember it from the thread. Only strokes.

 

[Lurker]

Don't go to the Party Cheese Salad, Jack.

the great party cheese salad in the sky...

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

Say what you want about him, but he got down with the coomin man. Raise your singular functional arms in the air and pour one out for a homie.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

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Holy shit...

I couldn't believe I saw our Jack on the frontpage! Holy fuck this came so unexpected but yet not so surprising.

 

[Merowinger]

Sucks with Jack, hopes he gets better or is at least at peace.
Anybody got the webm of the "pissing tacos"?
It was an older one where he eats tacos and it's like someone turns on the faucet.

 

[A Wilhelm Scream]

Jack will pull through and we'll get a special JOTG from the hospital cafeteria.

 

[DaBigBopper]

My wild card hope is that somehow he ends up fine and the 2nd heart attack and stroke unfucks his arm.

The best /ck/ threads and culinary discussion I've seen stem from people being unironically angry about his shitty cooking skills.

 

[Guntanator]

Garrett's finest revenge would be to appear healthy and successful one last time infront of his father just to tell him to go fuck himself. Garrett is a Scalfani offspring afterall and I guess expectations can't be too high.

Jack was and is the biggest man child I have seen online who tries to pass himself off as some mild mannered god fearing faggot. He would have uploaded a video today too. It's a shame the last quality content of his we will get is him jerking some church faggot off over a piece of meat while giggling and seething at us about it not being undercooked. For shame.

What do we think will happen with the channel? Will anyone attempt to pick it up or will it just serve as a memory of how derpy and useless Jack was in his life?

 

[Pig Cups]

God-fucking-DAMN. I check this thread before going to bed, and this shit happens. Creepily, this is happening within 24 hours of me seeing the movie The Whale.

Also, Garrett’s insta story mentions Jack having COPD. That’s a new one- I wonder what caused it? Wasn’t Jack a smoker during the days when his abusive ex/Garrett’s mom threw ashtrays at him? Could the damage from his cigarette smoking be coming home to roost? Is it from taking Garrett-style bong hits off the chimneys of his smokers? EDIT: This is the stepdad, not Jack. I’m a tard.

Joking aside, I hope the best for him and his family.

Maybe to his daughter in-law, stepfather and Garrett (provided that his ex’s abuse allegations are false).

Outside of that, my sympathy dries right up. Jr. is an unlikable, quasi-pedo, wigger faggot who’s fattening. And TamTam is a disgusting, groveling enabler and masochist who visibly enjoyed it when Jack recounted the Garrett beatings. They get no sympathy from me. As someone previously said, this is probably the best thing for Jack’s family- to no longer be saddled with The Burden®.

Financially and personally, this is the best thing for Tammy. Junior will probably grieve deeply, though.

Stole this from /ck/.


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Brilliant! But holy fuck, what a missed opportunity to utilize that *boom* noise at the end of the song in conjunction with the coffin lid closing.

If he survives this, I guarantee he will just be eating as much fast food and strip mall meals as soon as possible.

Or in true Jack fashion, they’ll head right to the Arby’s drive-thru upon him getting discharged. He never learned from any of his previous health crises, so why should we expect him to see the error of his ways and make a change now?

Now not feeling bad for him, isn't me wishing death on him. Just more what did he expect was going to happen.

I (like many others here) have maintained that the last thing I wanted was for Jack to die. Sure he’s a total fuckup and all-around shitty person, but the bountiful milk that this cow provides is some of the sweetest and most enjoyable. There is definite, morbid value in Jack staying on this mortal coil.

I expect this is similar to how people felt when Chris Farley died. I.e., it was fully expected as he had been slowly killing himself for a while with drugs/booze/food, but there was still a sense of
“wow, already?” when the expected finally occurred. We’ve known this is how Jack would end up, but it finally happening is bringing feelings of “too soon”/wishing for him to have had more time, and NOT out of a sense of benevolence.

I hope that this isn’t the end. This thread was the reason I joined the Kiwi Farms in the first place, and has been most enjoyable. It kind of relieved me to know that I wasn’t the only person out there who was intrigued by Jack’s antics. If this is the end, know that I’ve truly valued my fellowship with you crazy lads, and that we should feel blessed that the milk flowed for as long as it did.

 

[Kulee Baba]

One of the most reliable lolcows. Hope you pull through big guy.

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

You mean being morbidly obese, not taking medical advice and eating whatever the f you want has consequences? Color me shocked..

 

[SpergioLeonne]

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Holy shit...

The son is a real piece of shit.

“My dad is dying y’all but hey I got a pinched nerve and imma hit the gym yo (Nipsey Hussle noises)”

 

[Tiresome]

The son is a real piece of shit.

“My dad is dying y’all but hey I got a pinched nerve and imma hit the gym yo (Nipsey Hussle noises)”

Naw, I'd feel the same way if my dad once choked me until my nose bled. Whatever Garrett's faults, he gets a pass for not giving a shit about Jack.

 

[AnOminous]

It's a shame the last quality content of his we will get is him jerking some church faggot off over a piece of meat while giggling and seething at us about it not being undercooked.

Apparently salmonella was the only thing keeping him alive and what finally killed him was for the first time in his life eating fully cooked meat.

Also note /ck/ is so cucked they're not even allowed a Jack thread while he's dying. The trannies won't allow it.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I hope Jack doesn’t die. His antics and thread has been a constant source of enjoyment. His cooking abominations are hilarious to watch with friends.
I will legitimately be sad if Jack actually dies