Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dondeld Dock]

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https://twitter.com/jakatak4/status/172830867826286593?s=20&t=v8IUfDrjZzP_F50hnrK7Gg

That son of a bitch
Edit: Oh wait it's from 2012, whoops. I thought he already got that much better to use twitter again.

 

[Potion_Time]

I'm not sure how it works, but if he's still alive hours after a heart attack (even if in ICU) doesn't that mean he has a drastically improved prognosis for survival? I'm not saying recovery wouldn't be a long and arduous process or that he won't be even more susceptible to future health issues, but it seems to me that if they've got him hooked up to machines and being monitored then it's likely the worst has passed for this particular heart attack as it's under control.

We may yet see him under cook food for our amusement and I really hope we get that chance. But I'm not a doctor and he might be passing on Aunt Myrna's most secret recipe's to his next of kin as we speak as he gets ready to give Jesus salmonella in the after life.

 

[Tiresome]

Godspeed Jack, you inspired us all. For instance, this morning you inspired me to skip the planned ham and eggs and have whole-grain hot cereal with dried fruit.

 

[AnOminous]

On one hand:

But on the other:
HA HA HA YOU'RE DYING YOU FAT BASTARD FUCK YOU TONIGHT YOU COOK SOCKS IN HEEEEEELLLL!

 

[Pig Cups]

There wasn't one, his family is as retarded as he is and probably just doesn't know the difference between a heart attack and a stroke.

If he's had one this time it is probably his first.

I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when that went down. Was it the typical myocardial infarction where he’d be symptomatic, yet conscious? Or a more dire sudden cardiac arrest event where immediate intervention (CPR, early advanced care) is needed for the remotest hope of survival? In a SCA, you have up to 4-6 minutes to intervene before brain tissue damage occurs from lack of oxygenated blood flow (not that Jack had much living brain tissue left *shrugs*).

This all brings me back…I’m just imagining Tammy panicking, digging out her phone, and struggling to dial the numbers one-handed. Did she come home from an errand and see him sprawled? I imagine with that delay, the color in his face probably turned to that tell-tale, pallid blue. Or was she in the house when he keeled over? I imagine the *thud* of Jack’s hulking mass hitting the floor was booming. She might’ve even felt the vibrations of the impact underfoot…

Administration of CPR on someone like Jack is tough. He’s a large-chested man, so a lot of force is needed to sufficiently compress the sternum in order to compress the heart (paramedics nowadays are being equipped with mechanical compression machines to alleviate this issue). I also doubt that Tammy took the time to learn CPR, so she was probably having a fit while waiting for the ambulance, wishing she could do something to help her lifeless husband, as the clock ticked away. Or maybe the dispatcher tried giving instructions, but due to Jack’s weight, she got a hernia from trying (and failing) to roll him onto his back? To hear what that sounds like, listen to the Ralphie May 911 call.

I'm not sure how it works, but if he's still alive hours after a heart attack (even if in ICU) doesn't that mean he has a drastically improved prognosis for survival? I'm not saying recovery wouldn't be a long and arduous process or that he won't be even more susceptible to future health issues, but it seems to me that if they've got him hooked up to machines and being monitored then it's likely the worst has passed for this particular heart attack as it's under control.

In all seriousness, he was probably revived enough to get his vital signs back in operation, but he’s probably in a coma. About now, I’d expect the doctors to be checking his pupils (one fully dilated, one pinpoint), declaring an absence of brain activity, and recommending life support be terminated.

Burning question: When the paramedics applied the defibrillator, did Jack’s dead arm twitch from the current?

Christ, I am one ghoulish, morbid fuck lol

 

[Janny Jewsh]

GoySlop King

 

[captkrisma]

I'm not sure how it works, but if he's still alive hours after a heart attack (even if in ICU) doesn't that mean he has a drastically improved prognosis for survival?

Powerlevel for the sake of answering this question:

You don't have hours to survive a cardiac arrest. You have roughly 10-15 minutes and that's in the best of cases.

Had a co-worker of mine who was the complete antithesis of Jack. Hated most meat dishes, sodas, and video games. Dude lived clean as fuck and made me feel like shit for drinking a goddamn Monster every now and then. Not going to get into tons of details but he had cardiac arrest during a PT test. In the 15 minutes that it took to get an ambulance to him and to the hospital he had lost a majority of his brain functions and would have been in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. They kept him going on an ECHO for about a day, and that's when his blood pressure slipped and he was past the point of no return.

Now take a man like Jack, who willingly ignored Dr's advice for years, and ask how many minutes did his actions shave away?

Edit: medical terminology. People commonly mistake heart attacks for full blown cardiac arrest.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I feel like this number is ticking up, you unprincipled bastards.

 

[Cedric_Eff]

I laughed at the thought of Jack having another stroke or heart attack, but I legitimately didn’t expect it to be this bad.

 

[Potion_Time]

Not going to get into tons of details but he had a heart attack during a PT test. In the 15 minutes that it took to get an ambulance to him and to the hospital he had lost a majority of his brain functions and would have been in a vegetative state for the rest of his life.

Damn, what a way to go. Did the gym have an AED that could have been used to save him? I've been out of the USAF for too long but I thought they carried all of that shit with them nowadays because I remember a similar incident occurring during basic.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Can can definitely survive a heart attack for hours, some people don't even realize they had a heart attack. It really depends on the severity.

 

[captkrisma]

Damn, what a way to go. Did the gym have an AED that could have been used to save him? I've been out of the USAF for too long but I thought they carried all of that shit with them nowadays because I remember a similar incident occurring during basic.

He bit it right outside of the dental clinic, which would absolutely have an AED

 

[Harlow]

Confirmed by Jacks mother in law.
With an update 9 hours later.

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Just something odd I noticed but I just went to look if she'd posted any other updates and that post on her wall now only has 4 comments compared to the 10 in the ss and the update comment was deleted.

 

[Pig Cups]

Imagine a show about his cooking on TLC, for example.

I assume you mean an actual show, as opposed to a somber documentary showcasing his years-long, slow-motion failure?

It would literally be a cooking show for/about retards. I’m sure TLC would try to dress it up as compassionate and moving, when in reality, they’re just trying to cover up the fact that they’ve become the present-day Barnum & Bailey.

See also: The Merrill Howard Kalin Show

At least Merrill, despite being a retard, actually seems likable and kind-hearted, which is more than we can say about Jackoff.

 

[captkrisma]

Can can definitely survive a heart attack for hours, some people don't even realize they had a heart attack. It really depends on the severity.

You are correct and I'll make edits. Cardiac arrest and heart attacks are two totally separate things.

All cardiac arrests are heart attacks, but not all heart attacks are cardiac arrests.

 

[Replacement Account]

Going by historical ideas on seizures, the Wendigo was probably finally trying to assert full control over his body.

 

[Harlow]

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I feel like this number is ticking up, you unprincipled bastards.

I'm locked in on my answer- we still dont know this is not what is happening really...

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

This fat fuck is gonna have to make me change my avatar

 

[RL Steinbeck]

If he survives, I think this is the end of his youtube career.

No way, he’ll keep making videos, he’ll just completely shift his focus to God/Jesus videos talking about how a miracle angel saved his life.

the burial costs for a casket that large might hit them hard as well.

I’m sure they have some kind of smoker or meat chamber on the property that’s big enough to repurpose.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

This fat fuck is gonna have to make me change my avatar

And possibly your name: I am Jack's dead body