The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[BiggerChungus]

BREAKING NEWS!
Bonnie has a new pinned tweet with an update on the Tranch!!! It seems that he talked to the tranchers, and they are “rehoming” animals (hopefully not into a mass grave). He wants to dissolve the tranch. I personally will miss it dearly if it goes, for I have loved this thread and all of the sperging that’s happened in it. I have learned about farming, animal husbandry, the Migratory Bird Act, troonism, etc. and it truly is my favorite thread on this website. [A]
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Talks about Sky, praises him for being “incredibly wise”. He probably mediated the aforementioned talk to the point where they could actually get shit done instead of just argue. [A]
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A couple of tweets about Kindness (linking to her thread to try to keep some semblance of order in the thread)

Bonus Content [A]
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Spoiler: Keep dreaming, Bonnie

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YO
HELICOPTERS LANDIN'
ALPACAS COMIN' ABOARD,
US MARINES GONNA RESCUE THE ALPACAS
FROM TRAN RANCH

 

[Berrakh]

“The animals are being rehomed”

They’re 100% dead.

 

[cia-log]

reminds me of that scene in American Psycho where Bateman rehomed all those prostitutes in that closet

 

[Yankee Shogun]

I feel like we need a comprehensive, Nuremburg trial style list of the crimes of each individual Tranch member against all of Alpacakind, so that when the Kiwifarms militia overruns their mother's houses we can begin trials immediately by an interboard tribunal.

 

[AssignedEva]

How do you fuck up raising chicken? Feed them and let them do their thing. Be sure to hunt everywhere for their eggs because the little shits will start to hide them everywhere once they notice you're taking them. Ducks are basically the same just put their food in their water. Keep around nine females to every one male for a good social group. Smaller the group less of a chance of having to pick up dead chicks. Once I'm done here I'm hoping to keep some chickens and hopefully some ducks in the back yard in Ontario. Chickens can be very cuddly and ducks can make great lap animals.

The tranchers wrought a pestilent curse upon the land. The only reason one of the hens didn't hatch a basilisk is because Pepe the Rape Vicuña probably trampled them before they got the chance.

 

[NotFatChild]

Based on everything I've read in the thread over the last couple of years, Alpaca in general seem to have a net-negative economic value,

all they produce is fleece that next to no one wants. you'd probably have to produce it in massive quantities to turn a profit, if that's even possible.

this isn't as bad as columbia's hippos, but that's only because those things are fucking dangerous even to people and breed like rodents when out of africa. also, you can eat hippos, apparently they taste like pork.

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

Rehoming all the animals huh? Thats good I guess.
You know, I was reading today that the Germans told everyone they were resettling the Jews east when they were...
Oh no

 

[Oxyjen]

I feel like we need a comprehensive, Nuremburg trial style list of the crimes of each individual Tranch member against all of Alpacakind, so that when the Kiwifarms militia overruns their mother's houses we can begin trials immediately by an interboard tribunal.

More fittingly perhaps would be Soviet-style show trials, with confessions obtained via persuasion by NKVD specialists, to be followed with lifetime sentencing to gulag or forced labour camp.

 

[Simon]

reminds me of that scene in American Psycho where Bateman rehomed all those prostitutes in that closet

This made me hork Diet Coke out of my nose. lmao

Also, 100%, those alpaca are dead.

 

[Mista House]

all they produce is fleece that next to no one wants. you'd probably have to produce it in massive quantities to turn a profit, if that's even possible.

this isn't as bad as columbia's hippos, but that's only because those things are fucking dangerous even to people and breed like rodents when out of africa. also, you can eat hippos, apparently they taste like pork

Its not, as I said in my old post, they could maybe sell it for carpet wool.

 

[BillTheButcher]

I still can't believe they killed 6 million alpacas in such a short time truly monstrous.

Can we please get to the point of this arc where people are questioning the official number of alpacas murdered at alpacowitz? At first it's 100-150, now I'm seeing 6 million? Something smells off here, and it's not just stinkditch.

 

[Tiger Jack]

Tran Ranch will live on in our hearts, and in the generational trauma of alpacas everywhere.
Remember the Amholamo.

 

[Cuckoman]

One thing I'd like to say is with the alpacas I've heard you can balance out the cost of their feed and care by collecting and selling their manure- it's kinda gross, but alpaca manure doesn't need to be aged like other manure and since they like to poop in the same areas it's a little easier to gather. It's also supposed to be really good for growing, but I've not tested it myself yet so I can't confirm that. Mix it with some potting soil and other nutrients and package it up cute you'd probably be able to sell it at a local farmer's market or to other farmers in the area fairly easily, especially with the price of fertilizer right now. For that reason alone I've considered having a small herd of alpacas, nothing crazy, and excess manure can easily be used for your own crops and garden. Waste not, want not, yada yada. I don't understand why they didn't try selling the manure, unless they think that's something dainty ladies like themselves shouldn't have to do. There's countless little old ladies with gardens and flowerbeds who're willing to pay extra to keep their plants healthy and fruitful.

I know the answer to this. All this would require physical work to do. These are terminally lazy troons that are allergic to do physical work.

 

[retard strength]

One thing I'd like to say is with the alpacas I've heard you can balance out the cost of their feed and care by collecting and selling their manure- it's kinda gross, but alpaca manure doesn't need to be aged like other manure and since they like to poop in the same areas it's a little easier to gather. It's also supposed to be really good for growing, but I've not tested it myself yet so I can't confirm that. Mix it with some potting soil and other nutrients and package it up cute you'd probably be able to sell it at a local farmer's market or to other farmers in the area fairly easily, especially with the price of fertilizer right now. For that reason alone I've considered having a small herd of alpacas, nothing crazy, and excess manure can easily be used for your own crops and garden. Waste not, want not, yada yada. I don't understand why they didn't try selling the manure, unless they think that's something dainty ladies like themselves shouldn't have to do. There's countless little old ladies with gardens and flowerbeds who're willing to pay extra to keep their plants healthy and fruitful.

That manure is making a perfectly good backstop already, and the old lady Nazi Bigots of Earlcliffe would never buy from them (even though they actually had plenty of people in the community that did try to help and support them but they burned those bridges, repeatedly, at every possible opportunity for the stupidest shittiest reasons).

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I can't wait for Penis to turn his parent's house and land into a wasteland, because we all know that they learned nothing.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Not sure what my daughters wool cape is made out of

Wool, most likely.

 

[NotFatChild]

I don't understand why they didn't try selling the manure

maybe they did but Jen kept eating it

 

[Great Monkey King]

Its not, as I said in my old post, they could maybe sell it for carpet wool.

Their operation is small enough that they don’t have the volume to sell to manufacturers so they focus on Etsy-using crafters and their wool is much too poor to get many customers.

 

[Super Guido]

I feel like we need a comprehensive, Nuremburg trial style list of the crimes of each individual Tranch member against all of Alpacakind, so that when the Kiwifarms militia overruns their mother's houses we can begin trials immediately by an interboard tribunal.

Except instead of giving them jobs with the US government, we make them play Minecraft in VR for the rest of their lives.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I know the outside of the tranch has gotten the most focus, and rightly so, but I wonder what the absolute state is of the house.

Leaking pipes, destroyed floors, abominable kitchen... I hope there is a really detailed 60-photo Realtor.com spread showing all the damage.