Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Padoru]

i really don't like Jack as a person but it never sits right with me to celebrate a person possibly dying and i genuinely hope he makes it through this.

I want him to learn how to cook not to die.

 

[Tiresome]

i really don't like Jack as a person but it never sits right with me to celebrate a person possibly dying and i genuinely hope he makes it through this.

I want him to learn how to cook not to die.

I get you, but he's been at this for at least 15 years at this point. He considers this his job. Criticism makes him furious. He's never, ever going to learn.

 

[Lolcow_slaughter]

head for the light jack and don't serve any of your food in heaven or he might go to hell for his shitty cooking

 

[biggacracka]

I want him to learn how to cook

Over his dead body

 

[Tiresome]

Sounds like soon, all that’s left will be the riffing and the documentaries (if those are ever made).

With bonus cameo by the wall-mounted automated external defibrillator at 7:40 right as Jack attempts his own personal church chili Stop the Steal.

 

[charlesdickens]

People here forgot to mention a few signs from God to Jack to quit his gastrosexual gluttonous lust.

- Uncontrolled diabetes
- Thyroid cancer (Fair enough not a food-related illness)
- Seizure
- 2 heart attacks
- 2 strokes (possibly another minor one that was stress? Who knows because Jack refuses to stay in the hospital or cooperate.)
- Morbid obesity
- Total loss of function to right arm, loss of most mobility in right leg
- Countless salmonella infections

Jack's motto is "Do God's work and He will do your work!"

 

[Padoru]

I get you, but he's been at this for at least 15 years at this point. He considers this his job. Criticism makes him furious. He's never, ever going to learn.

i know he wont but my naivetee is strong in this regard. And at least for me personally his death wouldn't serve to make me happier

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Even if he does pull through this somehow, if he again learns nothing from this, I give him another year and that will be the end of it.

Even if he pulls through and learns everything from this, I don't see him having much more than that anyway.

Mind you, I have a perfect track record of always calling it wrong when it comes to cow and cow-adjacent deaths. Completely unblemished.
Though six months of newly-vegan Jack trying to take up jogging would be a sad way for it to end. For his sake, I hope his denial over his health lasted/lasts until the very end. There's no point in rubbing it in, I suppose.

 

[AnOminous]

looks like @AnOminous posting this in Community Watch last night saved him.

I was hoping it would. This is one of my favorite threads. Jack dying would be like being Elmer Fudd in What's Opera, Doc.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

A perfect showing for what could be his last video. Disgusting, salty, fat-drenched chicken against a completely out-of-season backdrop. A beautiful failure.

Mom's Butter Chicken
27 January 2023

Spoiler: Archive 720p

View attachment 4350633

ETA: This brotherly exchange from Jack's original post promising that this video was "coming soon." Six weeks ago.

View attachment 4350683

"Jack Scalfani here, this is the cooking with Jack show, I'm Jack Scalfani."

Where else will I get my primo strokebrain content?

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

New video from Cooking With Jack

"It only asked for one stick of butter, I'm putting two in this pan." And a bigger can of condensed milk "just to be safe."

It's like he didn't even pretend to give a shit anymore.

 

[AnOminous]

Sounds like soon, all that’s left will be the riffing and the documentaries (if those are ever made).

The thing where he didn't realize people sometimes put beer in chili was one of the Duck's more annoying bits of ignorance. I think a stout or a porter is a better choice than an IPA, and even shit like Corona is good. An IPA? Why?

With bonus cameo by the wall-mounted automated external defibrillator at 7:40 right as Jack attempts his own personal church chili Stop the Steal.

Eerie. Chekhov's defib.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon
View attachment 4350477

Conflicts with my own information.
Source: Trust me bro.

 

[Pomniman]

If he dies Jewsh needs to cook aunt Myrna's slop and review it in honor of him.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

The thing where he didn't realize people sometimes put beer in chili was one of the Duck's more annoying bits of ignorance. I think a stout or a porter is a better choice than an IPA, and even shit like Corona is good. An IPA? Why?

Eerie. Chekhov's defib.
View attachment 4350900

I'll drink plastic jug handle vodka before an IPA. That shit is just nasty bongwater leftovers.

And mandatory simulation of Jack

 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

If he dies Jewsh needs to cook aunt Myrna's slop and review it in honor of him.

"Legends say that any non-Scalfani who takes a single bite will end up croaking on the spot. For one is cursed with the spell of the culinary pharaoh Scalfani the gluttonous " - Wise Old Chinese Thinker

For real his whole family must have multiple stomachs like the ones of cows, they can basically digest anything at this point.

 

[Zirnwyb]

That last upload, dios mio...



He says he put too much sauce maybe so he had to take some out to let it crisp up to look like the pictures he saw in the recipe. That shit looks like a goddamn abscess in that pan. I'm also pretty sure that this is the recipe he was using. In classic Jack fashion, his end product looks nothing like it's supposed to.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

The thing where he didn't realize people sometimes put beer in chili was one of the Duck's more annoying bits of ignorance. I think a stout or a porter is a better choice than an IPA, and even shit like Corona is good. An IPA? Why?

Eerie. Chekhov's defib.
View attachment 4350900

The church chili cookoff is one of my favorite Jack episodes. The fact that he didnt understand how these cook-offs are usually judged is hilarious to me.

Like, how did he think this was going to play out? Was he going to find the judges and rub elbows with em, offer them some free boxes of sauce, and steal the win?

The amount of seething and coping he does at the end when he looses is *chef kiss*

 

[Freedom Fighter]

At least if he gets cremated, he'll have finally cooked something all the way.

 

[Sundae]

Sounds like soon, all that’s left will be the riffing and the documentaries (if those are ever made).

With all that's been going on, I'm on a binge of videos of people riffing on his cooking, currently watching this one:

And then there's this classic:

Bonus: