The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[FinnSven]

Few seem to be on their side now, but I wonder how long until there is a universal consensus that all of their problems were the result of right-wing harassment, and that there was literally nothing they could do. News articles citing it as the main factor, retelling their retarded "aiming scope rifles at the mailman and insisting they were a MAGA terrorist" stories as fact, etc.

I hope not.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

No shit, seriously? Did you honestly miss the joke or are you being deliberately obtuse like I am?

If it was supposed to be a joke then it should have been funny.

 

[thegooddoctor]

Do you think it's possible to rehome the alpacas without any outside attention at this point? Its so unfair they have to die while the troons live.

 

[Dr. Silvestrechu]

There probably aren't that many any more. I still can't see getting rid of what are probably ailing animals of no economic value, except possibly as pets. You'd hope any organization capable of taking that many would also have the authority to report obvious crimes committed against the animals, but oh well.

I want to see an urban rescue ranch/tranch crossover episode.

 

[Meiwaku]

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Nuremsperg Trials

 

[Tetragrammaton]

any time i hear about the tranch i just think about the fact that one day someone is gonna own that land and have to do some digging for whatever reason and they are just gonna find that their whole yard is littered with various animal skeletons.

 

[AprilRains]

Do you think it's possible to rehome the alpacas without any outside attention at this point? Its so unfair they have to die while the troons live.

I'm sorry, but the animals are already dead.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

I would so much love to be a fly on the wall after Phil and his merry band of men move to his parents' house, and mom accidentally walks in on them during one of their estrogen injection rituals. I mean, yeah, she already knows them boys ain't right, but most normal people freak out when confronted with that sorta shit.

"Why do... what... are those hypodermic needles?!!!"

 

[Bob_]

I would so much love to be a fly on the wall after Phil and his merry band of men move to his parents' house, and mom accidentally walks in on them during one of their estrogen injection rituals. I mean, yeah, she already knows them boys ain't right, but most normal people freak out when confronted with that sorta shit.

"Why do... what... are those hypodermic needles?!!!"

"Phillip! Are you and your friends doing drugs in my house??!?"

 

[Ghostse]

what economy? as far as i know, alpacas aren't commercial livestock that are commonly used in profitable milk/meat/wool/fur production, i don't think there's even a market with significant demand for alpaca related commodities. they're zoo animals at best.

You can be profitable with Alpacas as part of a variety of animals but most of the money comes from selling alpacas to other suckers.

Alpaca can be food animals, but currently there isn't a market for alpaca meat in the US.

How do you fuck up raising chicken?

Trannies found a way.
Buddy have to you seen what they did to their cocks? They can't even be decent humans, they are societal leeches.

They basically scalped the land dry and what used to be fertile pastures is all dust.

Ok let's be fair here. It was arid scrub. Better than a dust bowl but hardly lush feilds.

My dad has an alpaca rug. Cost him a fortune but it's really nice. Early space suits were insulated with alpaca wool. It's really, really good stuff. I'm not surprised that the tranchers couldn't figure out how to care for them.

Its really good, but the stuff you find in the rugs is the "premium" hair.
Another Kiwi was saying that the problem is that hair is TOO good at insulating, you'd heat stroke in a 100% alpaca sweater.

 

[Crux]

I wonder if they'll ever get dinged for the animal abuse they've committed, I mean they were dumb enough to get it on camera. I wonder what other depraved faggotry with the animals was on camera.......... A farm full of weirdo trannys and animals that cant fight back or talk......... oh me oh my...

Its bittersweet, I'm glad these inept retards are done playing farm, but disappointed because watching them just fail at every turn was of great entertainment

 

[Flamin Park]

This is Tenacious Unicorn Ranch. They say it's the biggest alpaca death camp
in colorado. I used to work here. Well...I was really a slave. Like all
the others.

That's me! My name is Bonnie. I WAS employee of the year. Now I'm dead
meat. I crossed the meanest boss in the world: Penny the toothless.

My whole life changed in just one day. I was working late one night
at TUR.

We used to make Alpaca wool
Until the alpaca were through
We still made Go Fund Mes
And we made some good documentaries too
I thought I had a good job
But that was before I knew
How we'd make the alpaca bodies disappear
I was still to find
The truth, it turned out
Now THAT would blow my mind

The Trannies were scared
'Cause donations were grim
Field troons and handmaidens
Had been turning up thin
But Penny was cool
He had a plan

This new kind of meat - it was alpaca!

I just had to escape
I just needed pussy
And I didn't even know
She had BPD
So...GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Oh wow, I was wondering why my notifications were especially blowing up today. I feel honored to be the featured post.

Don't worry about it. If that happens there will be a million tweets and pictures of the event and a gofund me for fuel to transport the animals.
There are zero situations where something like this would not end up being a gofundme grift. It is like thinking "maybe the vegan will shut up about veganism and just be a normal person if I invite them to the party." The vegan will never shut up about veganism and the lazy troon will never stop being a lazy troon. It is kind of a law of nature.

Even though it would be annoying to deal with, I would rather have that and know the animals are still alive than the radio silence we have now. The tranch had posted a couple of old videos on their youtube channel in the period during the silence, although they only had kevin tweet about it each time and disclosed that they were older videos too.

One thing I'd like to say is with the alpacas I've heard you can balance out the cost of their feed and care by collecting and selling their manure- it's kinda gross, but alpaca manure doesn't need to be aged like other manure and since they like to poop in the same areas it's a little easier to gather. It's also supposed to be really good for growing, but I've not tested it myself yet so I can't confirm that. Mix it with some potting soil and other nutrients and package it up cute you'd probably be able to sell it at a local farmer's market or to other farmers in the area fairly easily, especially with the price of fertilizer right now. For that reason alone I've considered having a small herd of alpacas, nothing crazy, and excess manure can easily be used for your own crops and garden. Waste not, want not, yada yada. I don't understand why they didn't try selling the manure, unless they think that's something dainty ladies like themselves shouldn't have to do. There's countless little old ladies with gardens and flowerbeds who're willing to pay extra to keep their plants healthy and fruitful.

They’re too lazy to do all any of this sadly.
Edited to correct the above statement.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

How do you fuck up raising chicken? Feed them and let them do their thing.

I've done it with guinea fowl but that was because the business owner wanted them on a property that is open to the public. They kept chasing around cars and getting splattered over the local highways lol, (One got shot by a shopper because it was biting him).

I don’t think they will be able to profit off the weed, since Kevin will probably use it all.

They wouldn't be able to profit off the weed unless they grow high quality strains which require at a minimum:

• Good moisture control
• Good light control
• Good temperature control
• Harvesting on a tight deadline
• Good pest control

Good luck, the Rockies ain't California's Central Valley.

I look forward to their new adventures in vegetable and marijuana horticulture on Phil's parent's property. I hope they document and post every step of the way on twitter. I was sad about the tranch dissolving, but I think greener pastures lie ahead for these cows and many laughs await us. Especially if they are planning on growing weed, what could possibly go wrong with a salty ex-business partner who already tweets about reporting you for animal abuse?

I grow plants for a living. I can't wait for Spotted Cucumber Beetle to wreck their shit alongside aphids because they couldn't get their IPM game good.
At least they don't have whiteflies like they do down south.....

 

[AssignedEva]

Bonnie still failing to win the PR war. This critique appears to be from a Muslim lady.
Shows you that random leftoids on Twitter are far more likely to be the ones calling the cops on the Tranch every 5 minutes than the wizened observers of kiwi farms.

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Ahahaha "they've been informed" is a beautiful piece of hubris. Bonnie assumed the troon shield was what was keeping the tranch going and he'd destroyed it with his expose.

He's starting to realise it's what we realised a while back - no matter how well documented the Tranch's animal abuse is, the State of Colorado doesn't really care what a bunch of weirdos in the middle of nowhere do to a herd of innocent alpaca.

He's not getting that photo finish of him standing on a rocky outcrop looking down on the Tranch as Penny is torn to shreds, the glow of vengeance illuminating Bonnie's cat eye glasses. Instead the Tranchers will slink off to another farm and be fine while Bonnie is left on the hook for the mortgage for a pile of rotting alpaca, and Twitter either doesn't care or blames him.

Sic semper tyroonis

 

[Glowie]

Next step would growing Apalcas in troon basements. This shit will get worse from from now on.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Ok let's be fair here. It was arid scrub. Better than a dust bowl but hardly lush feilds.

Arid, scrubby land is still green, at least (arid, scrubby land is about an hour's drive away—I would know) and is still fit for grazing in most cases and the livelihood of other critters and plants, but even that was destroyed under the troons' mismanagement.

Seeing as how the troons never bombed the area with herbicide means that within a few years there should be some sort of partial recovery at the least.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I wonder if they'll ever get dinged for the animal abuse they've committed, I mean they were dumb enough to get it on camera. I wonder what other depraved faggotry with the animals was on camera.......... A farm full of weirdo trannys and animals that cant fight back or talk......... oh me oh my...

Its bittersweet, I'm glad these inept retards are done playing farm, but disappointed because watching them just fail at every turn was of great entertainment

“First they came in the alpacas, but I said nothing because I wasn’t an alpaca.
Then they came on the chickens, but I said nothing because I wasn’t a chicken.
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to protect me.” -Adora the cat

 

[KiwiFuzz]

It's not arid scrub, it's shortgrass prairie with a few other dudes in it.

 

[TheAntiCoomer]

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Penny did nothing wrong, 200 gorrillion alpacas in just one year? I don't buy it. Don't you know the alpacas had a pool and fresh hay? They even had medical care for new born alpacas, seems a little strange for a "death camp".

Lets do the math:
To reach the kill count claimed by the "experts", we'd need to kill just 200 alpacas over 1 year, or around .5 alpacas a day. If an alpaca takes around 3 hours to bury properly, or 2 minutes to huck in a mass grave hole because you never gave a shit about it, you could bury them in between 25 days or half a day. 200 alpacas? Yeah I guess I buy it.