Andrew Noel Schaefer
Mentally ill goblin who only talks about soda.
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2014
Containment What If?
- Thread starter darkhorse816
- Start date
G
GS 281
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Probably not much. He was just the one last partition between Chris and Barb. They are too horny for one another now for it to matter now.
- Joined
- May 20, 2014
Andrew Noel Schaefer
Mentally ill goblin who only talks about soda.
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2014
What if Chris killed Bob to make room for Barb?
Actually I joke but his tomgirlness probably contributed to some of the stress that made him die so easily. He's old-fasioned, and hearing that his son is GAY (in his mind at least) ... well, shit man.
RagtimeRoastBeefy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 22, 2013
What if Chris actually fucking did something this week, like got arrested and went to prison and was raped and murdered?
ZombieFromWork
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2015
What if Chris was born with all of his horrible traits, but was attractive?
He'd need a second medallion.
He'd need a second medallion.
Last edited by a moderator:
feedtheoctopus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2016
He'd probably get a little bit more attention from women, but they'd quickly run off upon discovering...well, everything. He might be able to pull off the occasional one night stand if he was truly good looking and a bit more social, but long term relationships are kind of off the table for Chris. If he did manage to get somebody to stick with him the relationship would be highly dysfunctional and would end up imploding after a few months due to chris's personal habits and neediness.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2015
I like to think he would do something stupid like somehow falling off the horse before even getting close to the other guy, and then the organizers would realize they have the best village idiot around.
What if Chris faked his own death?
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2015
I think this question is somewhat flawed. Chris himself isn't really unattractive. I mean, he's not gorgeous, but he's not the elephant man, either. The problem is that his "horrible traits" make things so much worse. He eats garbage, he doesn't shower, he dresses like a bag lady. Result: He's fat, smells like rotten fruit, and he has greasy hair.
The most handsome man on earth would look like a deranged homeless person if he had Chris' horrible traits.
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2014
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
There'd be 2 carbon atoms and one tungsten atom.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
I'd have said Tantalum and Rubindium (I don't care if it's fictional! I'm going for a joke!) myself.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
He would throw the fag card quite liberally and complain about the possibility of a woman in the white house.
mrmilkman
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2016
He/it would be too lazy to have any electrons.
- Joined
- May 27, 2015
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
They'd be like 'Well, we really fucked up with this species, blow it up and start from scratch'.
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2015
When they go to probe him, they discover a host of equally ancient Chris artifacts, and open a museum in their home system.
Andrew Noel Schaefer
Mentally ill goblin who only talks about soda.
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2014
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Maybe ancient aliens are the kiwifarms of the galaxy, and they actually specially bred us to be their lolcows.
Chris would be the ultimate manifestation of their ancient plan.