Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[winterfag]

interesting that he didn't address the elephant in the room that he had a fucking heart attack. Still confirmed though, why else would he bother engaging in "family time"?

 

[Quixotic Man]

interesting that he didn't address the elephant in the room that he had a fucking heart attack. Still confirmed though, why else would he bother engaging in "family time"?

Jack is convinced that Jesus will heal him of his afflictions. He stops taking care of himself because he doesn't trust in man (aka doctors and therapists.) Eating tons of Tex-Mex slop is all part of God's plan.

I really need to find and save that image of Jack "miraculously" raising his dead arm in church, so I can repost it with impunity.

 

[biggacracka]

How long until he blames stress and trolls for his "off line" family time in the ICU?

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

He’s alive.

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Grammar and spelling are too coherent. Tammy wrote that.

 

[Tiresome]

Grammar and spelling are too coherent. Tammy wrote that.

Except "enjoying so family time."

 

[irishAzoth]

Jack the tank
that butter chicken didn't get the last laugh

 

[TheLazyMan]

Hello Friends! The Lazy Man here. We're hoping* to go live at 2pm today (SAt 1/28/23) so we can have a discussion
about this unfortunate (if not completely predictable) development in the Scalfani-verse.

Be prepared. It might get a little...salty.
CLICK HERE to make a Meat Marine nurse...come.

(* be aware - Pink Chicken received traumatic news last night and is currently in crisis. I am hoping we can do a full show today but I will try to keep you updated)

Grammar and spelling are too coherent. Tammy wrote that.

100% this is MommyWife Tim at work. The "so" spelling error would not be caught by spellcheck on an iPhone.

Sneak Peek:

 

[anliteralidiot]

I'm...happy for him, I think? I'm happy for the thread. Here's to more laughing at the wendigo.

 

[Pig Cups]

He’s alive.

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From the bottom of my (healthy) heart- I’m so glad you didn’t die, Jack. It’s a beautiful, sunny day where I am, and this news only makes things better and more peaceful. And by the looks of it, you have no intention of changing anything. You’re already preparing for another Wars deployment, so soon after being injured in combat. Godspeed, you terminally incorrigible son of a bitch. God must have a wicked sense of humor if he’s keeping you going for our entertainment like this. Seriously, you entertain me more than most of what’s on network TV, so in a way, you partially realized your dream of celebrity. Welcome back, Fat Man. Can’t wait to hear what you blame this latest episode on.

Either the information Garrett was given was flawed, or (being the pothead that he is) he misinterpreted what he was being told, and made Jack’s condition sound hyperbolically worse.

BUT…(like @Archie_Kimkicker) I can’t escape the feeling that someone else posted that. It sounds too extroverted and polite, especially the ask about weekend plans. Since when has Jack ever posted that, or anything indicating that he’s interested in what his viewers and followers are doing? And while he posts on FaceBook, he really doesn’t enjoy it when people answer back at him (unless it’s 110% ass kissing). Why would he just dangle a question out like this?

I agree- it’s probably Tammy. She might be wanting to stem the bleeding and trying to kill this morbid death watch by Weekend At Bernie’s-ing him. Fat chance- what do you think this entire thread is at this point, Tams? This ride continues until the thread locks, and what event do you think will set that off?

 

[RodgerDodger]

He’s alive.

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If true it furthers the theory that Lolcows truly are some autistic offshoot of Highlanders. The only way to kill them is to cut off their head.

 

[breadandcircuses]

If true it furthers the theory that Lolcows truly are some autistic offshoot of Highlanders. The only way to kill them is to cut off their head.

Damn it, I was going to make that JOKE!

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

If true it furthers the theory that Lolcows truly are some autistic offshoot of Highlanders. The only way to kill them is to cut off their head.

No wonder troons off themselves; guess the penis also counts.

 

[AnOminous]

Looking forward to Mr. Candy Claw being my first Lolcow Obituary read.

Sorry Jack, that raw chicken and 4 smokers caught up to you! May you make Aunt Merna's recipes in

Hmm.

heaven.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Jack is more of a sentient salmonella megacolony than a person at this point.

 

[Girl Named Sandoz]

no time for sleep
the wendigo hungers

 

[AnOminous]

Jack is more of a sentient salmonella megacolony than a person at this point.

Minus the sentient part.

 

[ZipDisk]

I didn't know there was a white person butter chicken.

There isn't.

Either the information Garrett was given was flawed, or (being the pothead that he is) he misinterpreted what he was being told, and made Jack’s condition sound hyperbolically worse.

I already mentioned this. One way estranged family will attempt to force contact is by making claims that "the asshole" is dying, and that it is time to make amends. I do wonder who contacted Garret, I'm guessing it was Jr.

 

[Zirnwyb]

Hell yeah. Glad he didn't go to that great Golden Corral in the sky. But already talking about going on a gluttony tour? Typical fuckin Jack.

 

[Brutality]

Glad he's gonna pull through, I just started getting invested

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

He’s alive.

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I legitimately don't believe this is Jack. Even if it wasn't in the hospital he would see everyone talking about how he is on deaths door and comment on it. Could be Tammy writing this while Jack is dying to not scare people.