At this point she doesn't do a near-daily update on DA anymore. Thanks to her habit of constantly linking out to her other accounts on the few posts she does make and some old tagged photos I found, I know at this point she's using an instagram called jema_forever, a public cosplay facebook, Jema Duckie Cosplay, and a personal facebook under the name Jamie Jane, but the insta and cosplay site are deleted and the facebook is private. For about a year post-op we have very little idea what Jamie was up to.
In January she's on DA begging people to pay for this surgery and explains that insurance didn't cover the whole procedure, so she'll be taking commissions but also GIB. She also tells the story of her surgery again, same as she did on Youtube.
On DA she's posting old cosplay pics with occasional cake crumbs for us. She sold an umbreon costume to pay for her surgery costs and uh, she's leaning harder into furry than I wish to go with her.
Another one she wore at NDK in September 2011. I'll just say I own these shoes or a remarkably similar pair and while they're not the most difficult thing I've ever walked in, I'm not going to be attempting it all day at a con on my best day let alone with a "sprained" ankle. After this updates get really sparse.
In March she makes another blog post, just a story about how she made a huge scene at a con by not sleeping, dehydrating herself, having an anxiety attack and almost needing an ambu called. She keeps getting sick since her surgery and doesn't know why. Also she announces she'll need two new surgeries, one very soon, and no one has yet donated to her fund for the one she already had. She can't afford a phone, a car, or anything else (except costume materials and con tickets, obvs) and she keeps almost getting in accidents when she borrows her "mums" car. They're moving because they're so broke
She's back in August 2012 to post more cosplay shots. Here she is at Animeland Wasabi which was in March 2012, four months after her ankle surgery.
Undated photos from a cosplay club thing she did, but I'm guessing by the christmas lights this is weeks or days before her surgery in December 2011 (surgery was December 21). Something tells me Jamie never really
needed this surgery even after she did all the damage she did.
Whoops I just realized I dropped these from part 1, but back days after her mom died in September 2010 she had a fake wedding to her friend at a con. Here she's reposting some of the pics including carrying her entire friend.
And her ballet costume, where she says in the description that she spent seven hours en pointe that day. This is in March 2011, an entire year after she was first told her ankle was fucked and she needed to stop dancing on it. If i'm reading right she's not saying she walked around for 7 hours on her toes, just that any time someone acknowledged her costume or wanted a picture she went up en pointe again on her allegedly sprained ankle. Remember, Jamie has no formal ballet training. She started fucking around with her friends' pointe shoes in high school and bought a pair of her own specifically for this costume. She also decided the professional fitters who told her what shoe would be best for her were wrong and went with the brand and size her friend had. Anyway she's already stating her intention to stretch out the tendon repair she just had so she can do it again.
She worked at the Renaissance Fest in the summer (it runs from June to August, according to their website) and uh, manhandled a cat.
Over on Youtube she posts a new video of her energetically dancing but says her "official comeback" is delayed again because she has bruised and possibly fractured her heel doing gymnastics. Yes, she's back in the gym too. I wonder what her orthopedist thinks of that.
September she posts that she still can't find a job but at least her costume schedule goes on unabated. She also announces shes joined a group that will be dancing at cons but she's having trouble learning all the dances because of her gymnastics injury.
A few days later she's back to say this con was great, she got all the costumes she wanted in but only regrets she couldn't dance more. She'll be going to Tennessee soon for a new con and might be going to Georgia for another one, she sees a chiro several times a week, and hopes to get back to gymnastics soon. Sounds very expensive, perhaps you should get a job. Bumblebee Films is the (apparently successful) videography service her dad and stepmom founded.
January all we get is a pic with her and a cosplay friend on Facebook.
In February 2013 she joins something called the “Oishii!Project Mini Cherries” and starts a new channel called OishiiJema. This was some weeby pop dance and singing thing (she describes it in places as an “international idol group”), but the website and socials associated with it are mostly gone now so I don’t know too much about it. And honestly I don't really care. I think they were emulating a real Japanese pop band. Her first video on this is a vlog where she talks about a car accident and how she might end up in a neck brace. These videos are really not worth watching unless you want to see an adult woman squeal about little pieces of Chinese plastic crap she got for her birthday while explaining that as a Jehoover's Witness she's not allowed to celebrate her birthday so they have to send it to her before or after the actual date and not acknowledge it's a birthday present. Wow what a loophole!
This second one, in the description she announces she made her friend carry her piggyback because she still has the ortho boot, but she doesn’t need back surgery. The video itself is just her and some other girl giggling and touching each other’s faces in a doctor’s office with no talk about her health. I've archived it because I found it kind of unsettlingly handsy and was confused, but having asked around apparently they're talking about dressing as those twin brothers she drew in the incesty comic on DA and that the "twincest" thing is pretty exclusively the domain of stunted hetero females who have never dated a real boy before, which fits our gal. I was originally thrown off because she keeps making jokes about how this girl is her """"""cousin""""" and one of the few animu references I recognize is that the lesbians from Sailor Moon were referred to as "cousins' in the English translation but kept being really weirdly handsy with each other because they didn't change the animation, which is what I thought she was going for.
She’s briefly on Tumblr and posts some cosplay pics with her ortho boot decorated for the occasion, also talks a lot about this Oishii thing. It's not very enlightening for our purposes.
BUT! There is a group blog for the Oishii Project thing still up and - I know this will shock you - she is by far the most prolific poster on it. The ones labeled "graduated" are entire groups of girls who have left this before she joined.
From
her first post we learn she joined officially in December 2012. Everything is VERY EXCITING!!! She loves KPOP and JPOP and GYMNASTICS!!!!!!! (Another thing the weeb patrol told me is at the end, she's not calling herself "Jane" like the common female name. It's pronounced "jah-ney" and it's a casual goodbye, the equivalent of "bye-bye" in English. Just wanted to throw that in because it confused me at first.)
In January she talks about a
car accident she was in. She was rear ended on the highway and she’s now in a lot of pain. She needed an MRI on her spine and will have the results in a few days. So that’s what the “I don’t need back surgery” shit was about on youtube. Other than that it's more costume sperging.
She needs an ankle brace but her family’s broke
plz gibs, because she needs to spend all her own money on convention tickets and costumes. Lol she joined this pop group and immediately tries to use it as part of her munchie grift, outstanding. And another time she uses the birthday present loophole.
March she posts this video of her dancing with some friends at a con. She claims in the description that she got super sick and dizzy and had to stop for a second, but it looks to me like she just kinda forgot her choreography for a second then got embarrassed. If you don't want to watch this, she starts off badly by not hearing her cue, gets off sync with the other girls again at about 30 seconds in and makes a loud vocalization when she realizes it, then at about the 2:50 mark she totally stops, looks over at her friend to see what she's meant to be doing, then laughs and looks embarrassed before jumping back in, but she can't admit she's not the super talented professional dance idol she claims to be so instead it's that she was sick and about to faint.)
She also does this… cringe… thing. Uh, so one thing I noticed is that like kanadajin and some other weebcows I’ve followed over the years, she tries to adopt what she thinks is a Japanese-y way of speaking, like she’s trying to emulate a native Japanese speaker who is speaking English with an accent. It's not quite as pronounced as when Miranda does it but man she’s extremely annoying especialy when she says "mini chellies". This shit is so painful. The "boot camp" thing was apparently a bunch of challenges where they had to perform their dance routines in public places like a shopping mall to see if they could get an audience
She goes rock climbing and walks a tightrope and does some gymnastics, still the same party tricks she was doing in high school. She even falls off the tight rope and lands hard on her feet but walks it off. I promise this is all going somewhere wonderful, and it's not just the usual zebra places.
Her official comeback happens in March 2013. Again the description is what we really care about. Talking about the car wreck again and she’s still suffering from pain and inflammation caused by this. She couldn’t move for days after this video because of her whiplash but it was Worth It™. And she has 8 more dances she learned that she’s ready to show off now.
Back to energetic dancing and doing the splits. Guess she feels fine now! Thankfully most of the rest of this account is just more dancing with nothing worth archiving because the secondhand embarrassment was starting to hurt me.
April she starts a twitter, @dancelovelily. First post is a GFM but alas, it’s dead. She needs help bouncing back to health LMAOOOO. She gets an injection in her ankle, steroids or whatever
May she has fluids and an EKG and bloodwork, reason unspecified but it sounds like she passed out from dehydration/overexertion just from the little nibbles we get
She mostly uses this account to share links to the now-deleted instagram and vine accounts she was using at the time. From the short captions in her twitter it sounds like just more animu and cosplay sperging
Another GFM that’s lost to the ages, Hoping For Healthy Heart & Teeth. Sure is hard to be a munchie on a budget!
Her once-elfin looks are now becoming distinctly weak-chin and jowly as her age slowly crawls up on her. She insists on a hideous bowl cut that will get worse over time.
June she’s back on the Oishii blog to
reintroduce herself (she’s Royal Scottish and not in university!) and talk all about the various dance styles she loves and that she’s training to do a color run 5k. She’s oober excited about so many things! For a long time I thought her typos like “enjoi” and “oober” were a cutesy affectation but no. I think she’s just really fucking dumb.
She
does the run and it is very colorful. It was oober fun and she forgot about her various health issues for the duration of the race. Afterwards they called her up on stage to dance and she got more cheers than anyone else. Anyway, please pay for my vacation because I need a break from pretending I’m a famous glorious nippon pop star desu and I can’t get a loan or a credit card. Oh and the deadline for you to gib is two weeks. Holy shit kid lmao.
Here’s another color run photo I found on facebook while looking for yet more accounts she made and forgot.
She goes around the
cherry blossom festival dressed like a stereotype from anime and shrieks watashi wa jema-chan desu ne~~~~ at East Asian people trying to spend a nice day with their families. Again, walking around in wedge sandals.
Her next blog is
partially in weeblish. Per google translate the japanese is just super stripped down My First Japanese Primer “translations” of the english. For example, this whole paragraph about getting sunburn and talking to firefighters and remembering she had met them before was translated to “I was wearing sunscreen. I got a bad tan. We went to the fire station. We talked with firefighters. We talked to them.”
She finally realizes no one’s going to pay for her to sit around and play famous japanese pop idoru on the internet so she
gets two jobs. One coaching gymnastics and a barista job at starbucks. She did post a video of her doing the disney inspired hula but it’s deleted or private now.
September 2013, showing off she can do a one-armed cartwheel without issue.
Another blog. She went to Nan Desu Kan again, her last cosplay thing for a while, and
overexhausts herself to the point that her friends carry her up to her room after she claims she hasn't slept in four days. The fire alarm goes off and she falls down the stairs and sprains her ankle. Again. She’s taken to the medics and has her ankle wrapped then wheeled back to her hotel room. So embarrassing to be in a wheelchair! She goes back to the con the next day but because of an incident she doesn’t want to talk about she ends up on oxygen and then has to leave. Panic attack? Attention seeking? You decide! From there she ends up in the ER twice for drug allergies and oh hey remember when she was allergic to penicillin? She’s not, nor any other drug they test her for. She goes for an x-ray and has what sounds like another panic attack. Later she goes in for a reaction to pain medication, then for dehydration and nausea. Why she's using a pop music blog to post this is unknown.
The only other entry from her is this one a month later, where she gives us her
gymnastics backstory. She went from age 2 to 11 at an all-girls elite gymnastics academy in New Hampshire but once they moved to Colorado it was no longer in the budget, so she continued to just keep herself flexible and work on some party tricks at home. In 2008 she joined her high school’s gymnastics team and that’s when we finally see her learning how to do a front handspring. She wanted to be a gymnastics coach all her life so she did a six week training course and gets to coach little kid beginners now. The whole oishii thing seems to have not lasted very much longer after “Jema” stops posting. I guess they realized j-pop fans don’t want to listen to annoying Americans butchering Japanese pop when they can just listen to japanese pop.
So with that chapter of her humiliating online presence closed, we need to find new ways to track our heroine. In December she posts by far her most popular youtube dance, a cosplay thing she did back in 2011 where she is playing both characters and dancing in sync with herself. 90% of what this girl posts makes me cringe into the infinite but I can see why this one in particular took off even if I have no idea what these characters are. She's having fun, showing off her talent in several different ways: the costumes, the dancing, a little bit of storytelling, editing, and my favorite - it starts visibly raining midway through one of the takes and she just goes for it. There's a little cut when it first starts but then she just thugs it out. Honestly if she was just doing this and building a youtube following for cash, I'd have nothing to say about it. Nerd does nerd thing, has fun, makes money? Get it girl. Alas, that's not what she does and this is her last youtube upload for years.
Over on Twitter she's posting about her diet and workout routine but I have no idea if this was a joke video.
Like I said, most of what she was posting at this point was on deleted accounts. We can get some little cake crumbs from her dad’s facebook. In early 2014 her stepmother gets diagnosed with thyroid cancer, papillary carcinoma to be exact. Papa is obviously worried about her.
Jamie responds as she always does: GoFundMe time! Alas, deleted.
Back at it in gymnastics. She does it better on ice skates, of course. You can see her wrist is in a cast.
Her stepmom is having surgery for her cancer soon.
Fuck that pay attention to Jamie now.
Her stepmom has the surgery and makes a full recovery. Yes, that's her stepmom, she's only like 11 years older than Jamie is.
Did you know Jamie has a cast tho? She has a cast. Pay attention to Jamie.
Her vine is apparently all food and workouts now.
Meanwhile dad is musing on how, after a cancer diagnosis, “unremarkable” becomes one of the most remarkable words to hear. Dad's a good guy. I genuinely enjoyed his facebook feed.
Suddenly in May 2014, the Kpoppening begins. Post after post about her favorite cute asian boys while other girls, cult-like, repeat the mantras.
She goes home to New England and does gymnastics at the beach.
Her stepmom tells her to take down the cancer GFM.
She’s back to coaching gymnastics after I guess a break when she had the wrist cast (we’ll discuss that eventually). The things on her wrists in this are a brand of gymnastics supports called Tiger Paws that run about $50 a pair. Her knees just have KT tape.
With disposable income from her jobs she starts to get back into cosplay again. Her skills have increased a lot since her janky Sora costume and she’s now winning contests at the top level. Then her DA tops updating and her twitter goes dead for two years.
Well fuck now what do we do? Dad lets us know in December 2014 that she’s gotten a handicap parking pass. In the comments he explains she’s had another surgery on her ankle. We will later learn this in the same ankle she already had repaired and she had the same procedure done: they tightened her overstretched ligament and pinned it back in place although she's going to blame it on the car accident this time. (these jokes about how they're going to abuse this pass are his normal sense of humor.)
she did some christmas-y cosplay that someone posted in March.
Her friends let us know she did another Color Run 5k so her ankle must be feeling great! Wrist is now in an air cast.
And in late 2015 dad tells us she’s still working at Starbies. Guess we have nothing to talk about.
Finally she comes back to accounts that haven’t been wiped out of existence by joining a k-pop dance troupe called 303 Weeb Dance based out of Denver. The first time she’s featured on their channel are a “BTS try not to fangirl challenge" and another BTS reaction video posted the same day in February 2016.
Do not watch this, it might give you AIDS.
Almost the whole channel is them watching pretty boy bands and making squeaky noises and because Jamie appears to be a peripheral member no one cares about she doesn’t get to sperg about her health in the rare vlogs. Because of the Kpop-Industrial Complex these videos get hundreds of thousands of views. The only time she really gets to talk about herself is this intro and even then it’s just giggling while talking about which boys are the cutest.
She’s also on Twitter again posting her cosplay but very soon that, too, just becomes screaming about boy bands.
They do some BTS dance cover. You can see Jamie’s got some kind of support on her right ankle but she’s still dancing away. (why yes my youtube recs HAVE been decimated by this adventure, thank you for your condolences.)
Oh god I know this one because of that flamer who was trans-korean. She’s gotten rid of her bobbed hair and switched to this particular look because Jimin is cutest azn boi and she’s pretending to be him. How embarrassing.
Just a few weeks later, dancing in wedge sandles with no brace. One thing I want to point out is that while she was never fat, she’s looking a lot less “solid” than she was when she was in the Jpop group.
God I never thought I’d be happy to see her go back to sperging about cartoons. She’s at anime expo.
Here’s a video.
She’s going to LA for a kpop convention.
She achieves the closest thing she really gets to the fame she’s wanted and she’s really feeling herself.
In september we finally get a
trickle of the munchie drama we’re here for, a hospital vaguepost.
Back to vain selfies, lookin real thin.
She’s had another surgery. Of course it’s on her dead insta because god hates me.
Finally. FINALLY. By the grace of Jehootenanny, Jamie begins to talk about her health again in January 2017. She’s had a third ankle surgery after the last one has also failed. As is tradition, she announced this by posting another video of her bouncing all around like a chipmunk on methamphetamine with no issues.
This is followed shortly by yet another GoFundMe and my god.
It’s magnificent. In the end of 2015, Jamie had two concussions at work and now has post-concussive disorder, migraines, memory loss, and more.
Hey before we finish reading this I wonder what her parents were up to in 2015. Her stepmom’s cancer came back and her dad was worried about her. I’m sure that has nothing to do with anything though. (don’t worry, she’s alive and well now)
Jamie’s been out of work since February 2016 because she’s too disabled. Hey what was Jamie up to in February 2016? Oh right that’s when she joined that k-pop dancing group. Very disabled, def can’t work. She has been living off workman’s comp (read: whatever her cut is from the k-pop group’s YT revenue, but that group is defunct now as several of the members moved). She’s now claiming the ankle injury that was from over-stretching and dancing on her fucked joint was actually from the car crash. She needs PT and chiropractic care she can’t afford. She’s also been having stomach problems and can’t eat solid food but no one knows why. She needs a shoulder surgery in August for a chronic tear in her labrum (another overuse injury, one of the most common seen in gymnasts) and she’s allergic to steroids and other injections. She’s been diagnosed with lupus and hEDS. Lupus is causing muscle deterioration. Oh gosh oh jeez.
She needs urgent surgery. Please, see it in your heart to help a destitute disabled woman, my fellow Kpop fans. It’s what your bias would want.
Days later, lmao the absolute audacity of this cunt. She flies to Texas to see her favorite cute azn bois.
And eat solid food. A true Kpop Miracle!
She can even dance again!
And she’s trying to get back on that Kpop-Industrial Complex Youtube grift but on her own she's back down to getting only a few hundred views a video.
Already working on fucking up her joints again! Urgent surgery who?
Back to conventions and costumes.
She’s moving. After this the twitter does dormant.
At the end of the year she dances like her life depends on it, not just for youtube but for a whole dance showcase.
She's playing the male role in this one but I mostly included it because again she's showing off her upper body is fine, holding up another dancer.
She’s now traveling with a new k-pop dance troupe called MANSAE! which no longer has social media or if there is, I can’t find the new handles. There’s a song called Mansae by some k-pop boy band so any combo of keywords I used just brought up dozens of videos of that or other girls doing reactions or dance tutorials for the song. After these even her youtube goes dead for a while and we got nothing.
