Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Has qali said anything the past day? I do not have an instagram account and the API I use to lurk insta posts is not working.

 

[Chorton]

"working on my next Tour" means working on the next season of Jack on the Go, right? Is that the first thing you should think about waking up in the hospital after getting a heart attack from eating to much junk? Of course, that's a purely rhetorical question.

After one stroke or one heart attack, it's time for a radical change in lifestyle. After multiple strokes and multiple heart attacks, I suppose you just assume you have plot armor.

Plot armor is putting it lightly, another Kiwi coined the term for our resident Guntress, Chantal, but Fat on the Go is the real Teflon Fatty.

I almost can't believe that his ass managed once again to cheat death and thwarted another heart attack and a seizure that would've put a healthy and respectable man into the ground. How much more can his stroke-riddled body take? Not only is he thinking about debasing himself with more food while just off his death bed, he's planning a whole new food tour that he plans on posting soon. Wild. His non-tent right after his last stroke was pathetic, I can only imagine what he's going to look/sound like once he comes back.

This must be the work of Satan if Jack is able to "live" and continue his debauchery with his culinary exploits.

 

[kcbbq]

Plot armor is putting it lightly, another Kiwi coined the term for our resident Guntress, Chantal, but Fat on the Go is the real Teflon Fatty.

I almost can't believe that his ass managed once again to cheat death and thwarted another heart attack and a seizure that would've put a healthy and respectable man into the ground. How much more can his stroke-riddled body take? Not only is he thinking about debasing himself with more food while just off his death bed, he's planning a whole new food tour that he plans on posting soon. Wild. His non-tent right after his last stroke was pathetic, I can only imagine what he's going to look/sound like once he comes back.

This must be the work of Satan if Jack is able to "live" and continue his debauchery with his culinary exploits.

Only the good die young.

 

[Asperchewy]

Holy shit. I missed the first half of the PCLM episode today but had to come to the farms to fill in the blanks. Wow, its not even fathers day guize. (Obj) John Goodman must have the most sturdy of erections right now.

 

[Swiss46]

This man cant be stopped. We can just wait for the principal of life to shut it down, until then the Wendigo will just keep going.

On a side note - I can't find any clips of him being on the West Texas Investors Club. Are they archived anywhere?

View attachment 1442896

 

[NotAlfred]

It seems that with certain characters, it's like the hate simply extends their lifespan. Jack's not going to outlive DSP though - that guy's going to be snorting as he comments on the bugged mechanics of the heat death of the universe.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Top comments from his latest Butter Chicken Video.
How long until he switches off his comments section again?

 

[LiquidKid]

Like a Phoenix of high cholesterol and salmonella, Jack just keeps coming back

 

[Asperchewy]

It seems that with certain characters, it's like the hate simply extends their lifespan. Jack's not going to outlive DSP though - that guy's going to be snorting as he comments on the bugged mechanics of the heat death of the universe.

Dsp and Jack will outlive eachother.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

So glad Jack is still alive and eating. Pretty based tbh.

 

[AnOminous]

Only the good die young.

Forgive my posting of the Billy Joel song.

 

[Simon Kaggwa Njala]

Jack not dying feels like that scene in the Simpsons where all the bacteria is clogging the door and prevents Burns from dying. Except the bacteria is party cheese salad.

 

[alawital]

Apologies if this has been linked recently, but as a quick reminder, this was Jack's first video after the stroke before this one:

He's extra mushbrained and slurry in this video (I especially love how he says "gobs of meat. lots of meat" before stuffing his face), clearly freshly post-stroke and struggling to focus his eyes and maintain fine motor control.

Spoiler

He also looks even more like a bowling ball than usual. Fuck, I'd assume TamHam had a feeder fetish from this video alone if I didn't know how much of a repressed prude she is. (Well, not that I actually know she isn't...)

I dearly hope to see him top this one once he's discharged from the hospital

 

[Sundae]

Not to mention the time he whined about how everyone in a chili contest was cheating against him because of how anyone can judge the chili.

What made it worse is that he used a brisket that had been in his freezer for over a year for the chili (and has been pointed out, if you ay attention in the video when he's showing off the brisket, you can see discoloration):

I can't help but wonder what would have happened if any of his fellow church goers had seen the video and realized he brought chili made with year old meat and how they would have reacted.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Gas. Jack had some wicked gas.

You joke but I've legit had that happen.
Apparently it's a real thing to have fucking awful gas in your small intestine that feels like heart pain.

 

[TheLazyMan]

Apologies if this has been linked recently, but as a quick reminder, this was Jack's first video after the stroke before this one:

He's extra mushbrained and slurry in this video (I especially love how he says "gobs of meat. lots of meat" before stuffing his face), clearly freshly post-stroke and struggling to focus his eyes and maintain fine motor control.

Spoiler

View attachment 4358549
He also looks even more like a bowling ball than usual. Fuck, I'd assume TamHam had a feeder fetish from this video alone if I didn't know how much of a repressed prude she is. (Well, not that I actually know she isn't...)

I dearly hope to see him top this one once he's discharged from the hospital

YOU SEE THAT COUPLE ACROSS THE ARBY'S PARKING LOT...AND THEY START GIVING YOU THAT LOOK...AND THAT TONGUE.

 

[AnOminous]

This evil piece of shit just continues living. Join the Devil in Hell, Jack, that's where you belong.

 

[Sundae]

He's going to get tongs like they have at buffets.

I tried...

Plot armor is putting it lightly, another Kiwi coined the term for our resident Guntress, Chantal, but Fat on the Go is the real Teflon Fatty.

I almost can't believe that his ass managed once again to cheat death and thwarted another heart attack and a seizure that would've put a healthy and respectable man into the ground. How much more can his stroke-riddled body take? Not only is he thinking about debasing himself with more food while just off his death bed, he's planning a whole new food tour that he plans on posting soon. Wild. His non-tent right after his last stroke was pathetic, I can only imagine what he's going to look/sound like once he comes back.

This must be the work of Satan if Jack is able to "live" and continue his debauchery with his culinary exploits.

This could be punishment from God for Jack's gluttony and asshole behavior- instead of letting him die and end his suffering, he survives multiple strokes and heart attacks, each one making him weaker, slowly taking away his bodily functions but leaving him aware of what's happening. Eventually he'll have no control over most of his body, unable to use his limbs for even the simplest of tasks, barely even able to talk or move at all.

That would be a fate worse than death.

 

[Kulee Baba]

So glad Jack is still alive and eating. Pretty based tbh.

I feel like a broken record but there's a fine group of lolcows that I'd call workhorses. I'm sure there's notable cows I'm forgetting but on a near daily basis it's pretty damn certain Patrick Tomlinson & Moviebob will make some obnoxious tweets and Jack is going to post a cringey Facebook update or upload a horrible cooking video.

That's the only reason I'd really miss Jack. He is in the most literal sense a good content creator. And I hope he makes cooking videos even if he looks like the physically disabled Captain Pike from Star Trek.

 

[Doseferatu]

You joke but I've legit had that happen.
Apparently it's a real thing to have fucking awful gas in your small intestine that feels like heart pain.

The first time my mother had IBS, she thought she was dying.

Digestive difficulties can be very painful.