Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[The Southwest Strangla]

He’s alive.

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There will be more heart attacks/strokes, sooner than later.

 

[._.]

He’s alive.

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lol His tour? What is he fuckin mick jagger? I cant wait for the album drop itll be as heavy as his dead arm.

 

[Sneedmiser]

Jackbros... we're back.

Traveling the US of A in a motorized wheelchair now that we only have one and a half functional limbs.

 

[Interesting Times]

Despite the six gorillion strokes inevitably waiting down the line, Jack will continue to live through each one, losing function in each limb like a fatter Black Knight from Monty Python until he requires a Stephen Hawking Wheelchair to ambulate or communicate, all for the purpose of consuming and reviewing goyslop around the United States.

Unfortunately, DSP will not be adding another tally on the board.

 

[marjoram]

You joke but I've legit had that happen.
Apparently it's a real thing to have fucking awful gas in your small intestine that feels like heart pain.

That's why I said it (well, not about you specifically). Lotsa people go to the ER thinking they're having a heart attack when they just need a good belch.

Perhaps Tams should start burping Jack like a baby after meals?

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

 

[smug comporon]

Jack's gonna be extra pissy at all of the fast food workers over the next month.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I was digging through my old edition of The Art of Cooking and found a recipe that’s very similar to the Party Cheese Salad. (It’s method 2)

Yes it’s true that pretty much all jello/veggie/dressing recipes from this era are interchangeable, but this one has more than a passing resemblance to the video. To me it’s pretty clear Aunt Myrna riffed on this recipe or one very close.

 

[ZipDisk]

"Sir, you've just had a massive heart attack, you need to wait to be cleared by a doctor."

"THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG I'M GOING HOME, TAMMY!"

"So this weekend I had to go to the hospital because they made me. Everything is fine and they don't know anything. They tried to make me take a pill but I didn't want the pill"

All while riding to Wendy's.

I believe this was Jack's second heart attack, and that he will never mention it willingly.

Everyone making the easy dunks on the budder chiggin, but Charles beat them all to the punch.

Charles! Charles no!

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

Im glad jack is ok

 

[Frowns Mcgillicuddy]

Apologies if this has been linked recently, but as a quick reminder, this was Jack's first video after the stroke before this one:

He's extra mushbrained and slurry in this video (I especially love how he says "gobs of meat. lots of meat" before stuffing his face), clearly freshly post-stroke and struggling to focus his eyes and maintain fine motor control.

Spoiler

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He also looks even more like a bowling ball than usual. Fuck, I'd assume TamHam had a feeder fetish from this video alone if I didn't know how much of a repressed prude she is. (Well, not that I actually know she isn't...)

I dearly hope to see him top this one once he's discharged from the hospital

I don't know if the best part of his review is:

A; Just had a major stroke, can't drive anymore, can't use my right arm, lets go to Arby's.
B: Eating only the meat from the meat mountain while saying "gobs of meat, lots of meat". Sucking on his fingers more times than he ate anything off the sandwich.
C: The instant distain at the smoked brisket for having less meat than the meat mountain. Didn't try the sandwich at all, only moved the bun and onion rings for the review, then proclaimed you should upgrade to the now named smoke mountain because you get two more meats for $1.50.

Honestly, I'm happy he'll be around to provide content and excited to see how he will explain this incident away #godlaughs

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

He’s alive.

Not even God can stop him from making shitty meals. He's ascended to a whole new level of bad cooking.

 

[Cedric_Eff]

He’s alive.

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I’m glad he’s fine but at the same time did not expect him to pull through a heart attack and two strokes.

 

[The Grimace]

He’s alive.

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He should start calling his "lazy man" recipes "zombie man" ones. What a chad.

 

[draculapenis]

Anyone rating @AnOminous MATI needs to leave this thread

 

[Homer Simpson]

He’s alive.

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Nothing will keep him down. Salmonella? He doesn't even eat salmon. Stroke? Never masturbates. Heart Attack? Practices martial arts to fight them off.

You could shoot jack in the face and he would find a way to release cooking videos. We need more cows like Jack.

 

[murph]

little hospital stay

There isn't such a thing as a "little hospital stay".

lt's a bit heartwarming to see all the Kiwis glad, sort of, to see him still living, sort of.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

He’s alive.

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gotta love how he refuses to say anything. i wonder how noticeable any damage the heart attack had is gonna be in his next video if he makes it that long. thats the thing with heart attacks. if you have one and dont fix whatever caused it its gonna happen again and again till one day your heart just says fuck it and stops.

 

[Staffy]

You know what? I'll up my unrealistic wish. I want Jack to keep having strokes until he's unintelligible, but still survive somehow but he becomes unintelligible that he starts to blabber otherwordly eldritch words, it'd be a definite proof of Wendigo or some other evil force possessing him.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Null is the angel of death.
He started covering Jack on MATI a few weeks back, and now Jack is dead/dying.
Null did this to Lowtax, byuu, and Chris Chan might as well be dead. Ralph won’t make it few years and boogie , Jim and Jessie have cancer aids, not to mention the death fats, beauty parlor beasts, and deadtroons.

As soon as null starts covering your favorite cow, get ready to say goodbye.