Trashfire Ethan Oliver Ralph vs. Amanda Lynn Ralph - Ethan Ralph (allegedly) released horse nudes on /cow/. Gross.

[Blue Miaplacidus]

It's more of a confirmed theory now with evidence coming out. Ralph's flight was delayed, presumably because he began hootin and a hollerin before getting kicked off
View attachment 4360967
Additionally some woman on twitter posted how her flight to Rome was delayed because someone had to get kicked off.
View attachment 4360975

nigga link and archive that tweet, especially now that it's been posted as it will be flooded with ahogs.

T/N/A

 

[JackoVerde]

I know it's still only January, but is it too early to award Ralph lolcow of the year?

don't underestimate lolcows.
remember chris can get out of jail by the september supposedly.
he has 3 months to do something.

 

[DHugo]

I guess she could get married again before the end of the year. Not likely though. I doubt even Josh could predict this shit wouldn't last a month. I personally thought she would stick around for the honeymoon at least. The real question remains. How long until Ralph is dead?

Josh calls up Fredrick Brennan and all he says is:

"Phase 2"

The last thing Ethan Ralph hears is the squeaking of wheels.

 

[Divine right to rule]

And I held out some hope that those retards might get their shit together a little after marriage.
That's what you get for the cheapest Elvis package, I guess.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

May rn

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

He’s fucked because he doesn’t understand etiquette.

He doesn’t understand how to say hello normally.

He just screams at you about how great he is or how much he hates you depending on who he’s talking to to.

Then he makes a stream about it and screams about it for an hour.

And that’s his career basically.

I have re-read this 3 times and I still can't grasp how he hasn't starved to death.

 

[Still Exceptional]

Sometimes I feel bad for the gunt. Then I remember what a pile of shite he is and that pity turns into the desire to laugh at his misfortune.
Honestly if he just got the fuck off the internet, got a decent job, hung out with some friends irl his life wouldn't be the hell it is. But he won't. He's like an alcoholic, and not just because he's an actual alcoholic. No, he's like an alcoholic but with the internet. All it's done is hurt him but he just keeps happily chugging away at the poison that's killing him.

 

[hawkisnight]

Ralph is our golden cow. The gift that keeps on giving. Although I have anxious feelings about this. Are we entering the final arc?

 

[Brutality]

Wasn't expecting the prediction to come true so early.

 

[Alex Krycek]

I have re-read this 3 times and I still can't grasp how he hasn't starved to death.

McDonalds, insanity, and people who still like him.

I think Gator helped him some.

 

[AltisticRight]

McDonalds, insanity, and people who still like him.

I think Gator helped him some.

Gator famously suggested Ethan Ralph to "think of what you want to do and do the exact opposite".
Obviously he dunt scerrrr and he dint listen.

 

[Weird Ages]

My theory:
May had been questioning her life choices for a while. Between the Elvis Marriage, being forced to make sandwiches for a crowd of incels at the Ralphamania (best Meight moment of 2023 until her escape in my humble opinion), the fact that Ralph 100% cheated on her with prostitutes right after the event, the insults to her family and financial problems caused by her husband's expenses and her daddy refusing to finance her degenerate lifestyle, the realization of how grim her situation was finally set in.
Add to that that Ralph has been spiraling heavily. I'm sure that off-camera he was constantly hollering, drinking and doing drugs and he probably smacked a bitch a couple of times.

At some point she must have had enough and told him that the marriage wasn't working and that she was gonna leave him if he didn't sober up.
Ralph in a rare moment of parial lucidity promised to turn his life around and offered to take her and he baby on a trip to Rome as his way to say sorry (and probably called her a nagging bitch the moment she was out of earshot).

Unfortunately when they were on the plane Ralph started hollering, probably because some random passenger had an image of a corncob on his shirt, until they were ejected from the plane and missed the flight to Italy, and that was the tipping point. I wish they had waited until they were mid-flight to boot them out but, alas, no such luck.

 

[Moths]

SUEYYY looks like we got ourselves a good ole southern style happening bbq . We got ourselves hog and horse on the grill with lots of salt

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Considering the bender Gunt is on I half expect that the horse wandered away to use the bathroom or get something to eat and Gunt just forgot and flipped out for no reason.

 

[Disrespected Pronouns]

It's a little thing, but it amuses me greatly: much like Warski shouting FAILURE!! FAILURE!!! in the middle of the street as a gun has been drawn, Ralph has the tendency to call people by their internet names out in public.

So there is a decent chance that whether the fight happened on or off the plane, the fine people in JFK were treated to a 5"1' obese man screaming PANTSU!!!!!! at a woman holding a baby, and that image is just so fucking funny

 

[DankMaster420Fat]

this year is gonna be good gunt content

 

[Keranu]

I have re-read this 3 times and I still can't grasp how he hasn't starved to death.

Trash burgers, of course.

 

[heathercho]

Haaaaaa....

Eat SHIT Ralph.
Oh wait, you already do.....

Good. Now the next phase starts, Harry Morris In a Mecha Suit shaped like May vs Fleshbag Ralph.

 

[Pomniman]

The tranch, Jack, and now this. The merge truly is upon us.

 

[part timer]

I just woke up from a weird dream about Null live streaming hunting down, and shooting Ralph to death at a compound in North/South Dakota

I realise now this wasn’t a dream, but a premonition.