حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[TrippinKahlua]

Besides @Connor Bible, we and you already know Molly's opinion on you, but you don't believe her Kiwi account is real.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Besides @Connor Bible, we and you already know Molly's opinion on you, but you don't believe her Kiwi account is real.

It doesn't even matter whether it's real. Connor's delusional just for thinking anyone would find him attractive. He has the sex appeal of Jerry Sandusky's pecker in Jared Fogle's butthole.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Awww, life keeps making me miss all the good stuff.

For the record:
Current word count of RE second draft: 1759 words, first chapter. I have passed my two courses this semester with perfect or near-perfect scores on finals. I'm taking a break during the summer to write, get back in shape, and help my father out.

Maybe I do. I got most of that first chapter done today. I only have about three hundred words.

Oh, Connor. Dear, sweet Connor. You are the only person to whom I've ever given sarcastic Optimistic ratings.

Connor, let's play a game. It's called "Why is this a bad post even though everything I said in it was technically accurate?"

You win when you can answer that question.

Your prize will be a single step on the path back from cowhood.

We can only show you that path, Connor. You have to walk it.

You can lead a cow to water, but you can't make him think.

Better than nothing.

Connor Bible, condensed into a single sentence.

I've thought about working part-time at Publix, but I've heard a lot of negative talk about the work environment from FB friends. My best friend IRL got a job tryout at a Piggly Wiggly, and I can tell you he isn't acclimating well. Most of the kids who graduated high school with me are in the position of looking for suitable jobs while pursuing further education and staying with their families. My own mother has been looking for a job for the past year, with little success. To put it succinctly, there aren't many options out there.

You mean you'll have to settle for a shitty retail job? Like everyone else has at one point in their lives? Travesty.

Null took away Connor's chat privileges.

For some reason, I can't respond.

Like every gifted writer, Connor boasts amazing reading comprehension.

Excuse me... friends? Friends don't tell people to go kill themselves. Friends don't talk shit behind your back.

Ah, yes. Like your IRL best friend you've complained about here multiple times? The one you tried to trollshield behind? @Smutley , you remember who I'm talking about. Wasn't he Kajex or something on the Godzilla forum?

EDIT: see below

Sorry for the double-post, but that last one was getting long. Here's what I was looking for.

Okay it's official: Connor's only friend has to be an imaginary friend he stares at in the mirror.

Spoiler

View attachment 16279

Since we had discovered Connor's long-hidden best friend I thought I would do a collection of Bonus Posts about him tied in with the Toho series. This is the so-called best friend that Connor has for years called a "fucking idiot" and an "even bigger lolcow than me".
View attachment 17263

Except, guess what? Connor's so-called "best friend" is a pleasant (albiet spergy) young man who gets along with the other posters on a website about Godzilla. He role plays Godzilla stuff and talks about movies and acts like anyone else on a forum full of people dedicated to talking about Godzilla. He doesn't scream about adoption (on a forum discussing a giant monster that breaths radiation) and he doesn't argue with mods who won't let him complain about his mother (on a forum about a giant monster that is really a man in a rubber suit). He certainly doesn't whine about writers block concerning non-Godzilla related projects (on a forum dedicated to the discussion of a monster that fights a giant moth).

Look at this! Connor's barely functioning friend, who he has derisively referred to as a "Jesus freak", is saying he doesn't agree with homosexuality but he won't let his judgement cloud his enjoyment of meaningless games online with friends.
View attachment 17265
Connor's friend is like... bizarro Connor. He's the cheerful and productive Connor, the one who is agreeable and wants to have fun with his friends.

I want KaijuX to join the forums I think he'd be a lot nicer than what we've currently got.

TL;DR

What about friendship? My so-called "best friend" is a fucking idiot who's probably a bigger lolcow than I am.

My so-called "best friend", like I've mentioned before, is a complete moron that I'm expected to be buds with out of necessity.

Excuse me... friends? Friends don't tell people to go kill themselves. Friends don't talk shit behind your back.

 

[*Asterisk*]

I'll say it to his face, then:

@Connor, you're the whiniest, useless-est, faggiest fat faggot in the history of fat fucking faggots. Even if the fella you were talking about was Jerry Sandusky, you wouldn't deserve to be called his friend.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Connor is a big greasy

 

[Count groudon]

Every time he shows signs of progress, I fool myself into believing that this time will be different. I wanna have faith and say that this poor bastard can and will improve himself, but that faith is wearing away man. And this time he was so close this time too .

 

[Zeorus]

Connor Bible is a shitty friend?

And behold, nobody was surprised.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

^ Most woe is me sad sacks are, but they're not usually quite as blatant about it.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

^ Most woe is me sad sacks are, but they're not usually quite as blatant about it.

Most of them gain some kind of perspective after a while but that's usually after hitting rock bottom. Connor here hit that a long time ago but instead of doing something about it, decided to just sit in the corner and sulk.

Connor, the only person holding you back is you. You're the only person that can change your life but you can't just half-ass it and need to use your whole ass for once. And I'm probably wasting my time by saying that because he won't listen.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Connor Bible is a shitty friend?

And behold, nobody was surprised.

No, but it's always nice to have confirmation from the man himself.

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-16_19-39-27-png.16279/

@Connor Bible is A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

You mean you'll have to settle for a shitty retail job? Like everyone else has at one point in their lives? Travesty.

The vast, vast majority of people I know (including the extremely successful) at one point had to either stock retail shelves or work food service. It's what they did, they did it for a while, they moved on. No one ever said taking a shitty job doomed you for life, it's usually quite the opposite-- it gives you perspective and resources to better yourself.

The only people I know who DIDN'T do one of those minimum-wage jobs were the ones who jumped right into things like mining, construction, farming... you know, extremely labor-intensive work. Work that will wear you out before lunch. Work that WILL KILL YOU if you do it the wrong way. Those people actually tend NOT to move on from those jobs, because they pay extremely well and once you get used to them, it tends to be a career for life.

@Connor Bible , if you're not suited for retail work, maybe you'd have better luck putting up some sheetrock or digging for coal? I could give you a reference, if you'd like.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

The vast, vast majority of people I know (including the extremely successful) at one point had to either stock retail shelves or work food service. It's what they did, they did it for a while, they moved on. No one ever said taking a shitty job doomed you for life, it's usually quite the opposite-- it gives you perspective and resources to better yourself.

The only people I know who DIDN'T do one of those minimum-wage jobs were the ones who jumped right into things like mining, construction, farming... you know, extremely labor-intensive work. Work that will wear you out before lunch. Work that WILL KILL YOU if you do it the wrong way. Those people actually tend NOT to move on from those jobs, because they pay extremely well and once you get used to them, it tends to be a career for life.

@Connor Bible , if you're not suited for retail work, maybe you'd have better luck putting up some sheetrock or digging for coal? I could give you a reference, if you'd like.

>Connor
>labor-intensive work

I have but one optimistic rating to give.

 

[Smutley]

Ah, yes. Like your IRL best friend you've complained about here multiple times? The one you tried to trollshield behind? @Smutley , you remember who I'm talking about. Wasn't he Kajex or something on the Godzilla forum?

EDIT: see below

Connor's "so-called best friend" is also The Papist we've discussed long ago. Connor has described him as a "tard", "retard", and a "half mex jesus freak" who he wishes he could "whoop his ass back over the border".

The thread in which Connor is a racist asshole about his friend and the other posters encourage him

Spoiler

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-4-12_9-8-3-png.23001/
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-4-12_9-8-52-png.23002/

Also - Connor you were banned from TVTropes with three accounts. That they let you back three years later shows that their memories are nowhere near as long as ours. I can't wait for you to fuck this up yet again.

 

[Zeorus]

He sits on his ass in a triple XL shirt and boxers eating junk food and watching stupid videos on YouTube.

Said the 2X.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Connor's "so-called best friend" is also The Papist we've discussed long ago. Connor has described him as a "tard", "exceptional individual", and a "half mex jesus freak" who he wishes he could "whoop his ass back over the border".

Fuck, I forgot all about that part! Jesus Christ, Connor.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Said the 2X.

you're so generous

 

[MysticMisty]

Said the 2X.

Hey, come on, Connor isn't very fat...when he's in the Slaton family trailer.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Hey, come on, Connor isn't very fat...when he's in the Slaton family trailer.

He's dessert

 

[José Mourinho]

@Connor Bible , if you're not suited for retail work, maybe you'd have better luck putting up some sheetrock or digging for coal? I could give you a reference, if you'd like.

If he has this kind of job he will whine about how difficult it is or how he wants to get back to writing or how it's too much work to him.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

@Connor Bible , if you're not suited for retail work, maybe you'd have better luck putting up some sheetrock or digging for coal? I could give you a reference, if you'd like.

If he has this kind of job he will whine about how difficult it is or how he wants to get back to writing or how it's too much work to him.

Connor after an hour in the coal mine:

Well, if he can't do intensive mining, he could always make himself useful as a canary.