Samantha Violet Bushart and the Sammieverse - Fat, Illiterate Perpetual Pregnancy Faker and the Various Trash and Tards Surrounding Her

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Just sliding this eldritch culinary abomination

I just want all you haters to be aware that I have a cat who would do literally anything for a chance at eating this. Muh good boy.

I think it's very funny that whenever she cooks for Darnell, she mentions that she "made it wit extra love". Makes me laugh every time, especially because her culinary efforts always look like the contents of one of Kim's miscarriage Ziplocs.

I hate seafood, but does shrimp and fking cheese go together???

I don't know, but years ago, an (Asian) friend told me that combining any kind of seafood with cheese was a strictly white American thing. Obviously, that was wrong since Sammie does it.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

Obituaries are expensive as fuck, too. Imagine paying $600 to say that Granny liked to walk.

Really though, it's a nice obit, such as it is. I didn't expect that it was going to say she enjoyed going to the opera, oil painting, gourmet cooking, and volunteering with the Daughters of the American Revolution. It's a simple obituary for a simple person. So often, you read them and it's not at all what the decedent would have wanted, or some stupid attempt by the family to dunk on someone they didn't like very much. It's almost refreshing to read one that is honest about someone and their interests without resorting to derision.

I think Kim's mom probably had a terribly difficult life, the likes of which most of us cannot imagine. Maybe coloring and going for walks were little escapes for her in the face of immense misery. I'm glad she's released from that now.

Nah, fuck Linda. Linda is the reason Kim is Kim. Linda sat on her ass and did nothing while her ratshit daughter was dragging her sick, developmentally delayed grandson from motel to motel, fucking dudes and doing drugs in front of him, and letting her nonce boyfriend film him having seizures on the side of the road. Even once Linda HAD custody, she did nothing to protect that poor baby. Linda 100% took custody just so that she could give Kim the baby back. And lets face it, Kim is probably Kim because Linda, just judging from her horrific apperance, was probably slamming meth or drunk most of HER childhood. Linda probably DID have a horrible life. And frankly, she deserved it. Her husband is equally culpible, and I'm going to feel equally happy when he dies too. The only person in the Loyd household I have any level of pity for is that kid. The rest of them (Including Dalton) can fuck off.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

Next obituary will be for Darnell after he drowns due to passing out face down in Sammie's Party Cheese Salad.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Next obituary will be for Darnell after he drowns due to passing out face down in Sammie's Party Cheese Salad.

Imagine if sammie wrote it, would be hilarious.

Sammie is remembering the dead, which I'm sure all of Darnells family she didnt even know. Wasnt Sammie dying of cancer a few months ago? I just remember that lol.


Anyways dumb ass Kristy got used by some loser white dude. I find it disturbing she keeps "dating" men half her age.


Linda is making it snow from heaven!

 

[scumfuck]

Imagine if sammie wrote it, would be hilarious.

Sammie is remembering the dead, which I'm sure all of Darnells family she didnt even know. Wasnt Sammie dying of cancer a few months ago? I just remember that lol.
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Anyways dumb ass Kristy got used by some loser white dude. I find it disturbing she keeps "dating" men half her age.
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Linda is making it snow from heaven!
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RIP To My Babby Daddy Darnlle I Miss U So Much My Husband Lil Killa Cameron Will Miss U 2. Dranlle Loved Me So Much And He Liked 2 Sleap All Da Thyme N Spoil Me With McDonalds N Wall Mart Trips Luv U So Much

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Based on the photos it looks like Kristie’s dude two-timed her with her own son. I’d expect that from Steven.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Based on the photos it looks like Kristie’s dude two-timed her with her own son. I’d expect that from Steven.

Looks like maybe they were buddies before krusty cuddled up. But Steven is gay lol so it's a possibility.

RIP To My Babby Daddy Darnlle I Miss U So Much My Husband Lil Killa Cameron Will Miss U 2. Dranlle Loved Me So Much And He Liked 2 Sleap All Da Thyme N Spoil Me With McDonalds N Wall Mart Trips Luv U So Much

The obituary pic will be him eating her.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

I don't know, but years ago, an (Asian) friend told me that combining any kind of seafood with cheese was a strictly white American thing.

One should be cautious when making generalizations, doubly so when making generalizations about what Asian people will eat. There's just less cheese in East Asian food, but they're not afraid to mix it up. Whenever you feel like looking down your nose at other people's food choices just Google Taiwanese Pizza.

Cheesy oyster goodness:

Mmm! Oreos and squid:

 

[Rabbit Bones]

RIP To My Babby Daddy Darnlle I Miss U So Much My Husband Lil Killa Cameron Will Miss U 2. Dranlle Loved Me So Much And He Liked 2 Sleap All Da Thyme N Spoil Me With McDonalds N Wall Mart Trips Luv U So Much

I Wish Heaven Had A Phone

One should be cautious when making generalizations, doubly so when making generalizations about what Asian people will eat. There's just less cheese in East Asian food, but they're not afraid to mix it up. Whenever you feel like looking down your nose at other people's food choices just Google Taiwanese Pizza.

Cheesy oyster goodness:
View attachment 4388004
Mmm! Oreos and squid:
View attachment 4388060

Last time I was in New Zealand, we went to a place that had a hot dog and mayo pizza. It was there for the Japanese tourists. Asian people invent some hella disgusting combos, it's impressive almost.

 

[Sammies#1Fan]

Obituary for Kim's mom. She was only 55. Jesus.
https://anaturalstatefuneralservice.com/2023/01/linda-sue-loyd-age-55/
View attachment 4381804

Which angle babby is Carlee? God damn, I don't drink *that* much, how did I miss it?

 

[VinegarPussy]

I’m not sure about the rest in Sammie’s Book of the Dead, but Uncle James was a felon who once menaced a Plymouth Prowler because he thought it was a spaceship. Uncle Ernest Gonzales is a bit darker. He was a registered sex offender who overdosed on meth in a trailer. He was found decomposing with a needle.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

Which angle babby is Carlee? God damn, I don't drink *that* much, how did I miss it?

Freezer Fetus. It died the first year Dalton was living in the shack with her. Nutella and the Mermaid were the much more successful follow up angle babbies. Maybe this will be the year one of their mutant love children make it out of Kims fetid body.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Freezer Fetus. It died the first year Dalton was living in the shack with her. Nutella and the Mermaid were the much more successful follow up angle babbies. Maybe this will be the year one of their mutant love children make it out of Kims fetid body.

God its probably just chilling in the freezer... next to the nuggets and icecream.

 

[Sammies#1Fan]

Freezer Fetus. It died the first year Dalton was living in the shack with her. Nutella and the Mermaid were the much more successful follow up angle babbies. Maybe this will be the year one of their mutant love children make it out of Kims fetid body.

Oh yeah, I remember now. I didn't realize she named it.

 

[XxxwernxxX]

View attachment 4383928

Something like this is actually quite good. But it uses actual shrimp (puree I believe) and not fucking tostitos cheese sauce. Also you dip into it not dump it all over everything.

I'd definitely take a few bites of that to be polite, but I'm not convinced I'd love it. Let me know next time you're serving it, I'm definitely interested.

I don't know, but years ago, an (Asian) friend told me that combining any kind of seafood with cheese was a strictly white American thing. Obviously, that was wrong since Sammie does it.

There's a lot of fish in cheese sauce in British 'cuisine'. Interpret that in any way you like.

 

[Sir Dank-a-Lot]

Next obituary will be for Darnell after he drowns due to passing out face down in Sammie's Party Cheese Salad.

So that’s what we call her vag when he’s taking the “dive”, eh?

 

[DongMiguel]

Obituaries are expensive as fuck, too. Imagine paying $600 to say that Granny liked to walk.

Most funeral homes provide a free hosting for an obituary and can also facilitate one posted in the local paper. But because of the price of those, more and more people utilize the funeral home page and maybe a brief notice in the paper that also directs people to the funeral home.

This was from the funeral home.

Still sad, though. I mean, that's her legacy: not an amazing mother or grandmother or wife. Not someone everyone in the family loved or how she shared her heart with everyone's. Nope. Her legacy is going to be her passed time (lmao pastime) watching TV and coloring.

Like you'd think she was a spead reading that.

No garden at least? Yeesh.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

I don't know, but years ago, an (Asian) friend told me that combining any kind of seafood with cheese was a strictly white American thing. Obviously, that was wrong since Sammie does it.

It may be a white American thing, but damn is it tasty. Shrimp is pretty versatile, so using it as a stand-in protein to red meat is fine. For instance, Alfredo pasta and shrimp tastes great. I would never eat whatever the hell Sammie is throwing together, however.

Oh, I feel I do need to mention oysters on the half shell baked with some herbs and cheddar on top. Fabulous.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Nah, fuck Linda. Linda is the reason Kim is Kim. Linda sat on her ass and did nothing while her ratshit daughter was dragging her sick, developmentally delayed grandson from motel to motel, fucking dudes and doing drugs in front of him, and letting her nonce boyfriend film him having seizures on the side of the road. Even once Linda HAD custody, she did nothing to protect that poor baby. Linda 100% took custody just so that she could give Kim the baby back. And lets face it, Kim is probably Kim because Linda, just judging from her horrific apperance, was probably slamming meth or drunk most of HER childhood. Linda probably DID have a horrible life. And frankly, she deserved it. Her husband is equally culpible, and I'm going to feel equally happy when he dies too. The only person in the Loyd household I have any level of pity for is that kid. The rest of them (Including Dalton) can fuck off.

Yeah, intellectually, I know you're right, but there's a tiny part of me that is a total softy and thinks that everyone, even Linda, was a child once, who had so much potential and deserved to be cherished. It doesn't excuse her behavior as a mother, but it makes me sad. All of the Sammieverse characters do. They're roundly horrible people, but at one point, they were babies who could have grown up in a different life.

It makes me think of a favorite passage from a favorite book, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, which chronicles the coming of age of a girl in Brooklyn at the turn of the 20th century. In an early chapter, Francie Nolan, the protagonist, sees a decrepit old man and wonders about his past.

Spoiler: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith

He was a baby once. He must have been sweet and clean and his mother kissed his little pink toes. Maybe when it thundered at night she came to his crib and fixed his blanket better and whispered that he mustn't be afraid, that mother was here. Then she picked him up and put her cheek on his head and said that he was her own sweet baby. He might have been a boy like my brother, running in and out of the house and slamming the door. And while his mother scolded him she was thinking that maybe he'll be president some day. Then he was a young man, strong and happy. When he walked down the street, the girls smiled and turned to watch him. He smiled back and maybe he winked at the prettiest one. I guess he must have married and had children and they thought he was the most wonderful papa in the world the way he worked hard and bought them toys for Christmas. Now his children are getting old too, like him, and they have children and nobody wants the old man any more and they are waiting for him to die. But he don't want to die. He wants to keep living even though he's so old and there's nothing to be happy about anymore.

Oh, I feel I do need to mention oysters on the half shell baked with some herbs and cheddar on top. Fabulous.

I was with you on the shrimp Alfredo, but this is sacrilege!

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Whem Sammy ays that she "made it with love", maybe... maybe she means that shes adding some "special" ingredients...