Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[I Can Smell My Balls]

Patrick is addicted to alcohol

This is something I’ve always wondered - do we actually know this? We know he spends a lot of time pretending to write at a bar. But other than that, is there any proof that he’s actually an alcoholic?

 

[siegemeister675]

This is something I’ve always wondered - do we actually know this? We know he spends a lot of time pretending to write at a bar. But other than that, is there any proof that he’s actually an alcoholic?

Can't find it but he's literally admitted on Twitter to being a alcoholic

 

[delite]

This is something I’ve always wondered - do we actually know this? We know he spends a lot of time pretending to write at a bar. But other than that, is there any proof that he’s actually an alcoholic?

he "writes" in a fucking bar not a library or a coffee shop a bar. He also has beer bloat in every picture.

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

Can't find it but he's literally admitted on Twitter to being a alcoholic

He lies all the time though. Why would someone lie about this you may ask? Great question.

he "writes" in a fucking bar not a library or a coffee shop a bar. He also has beer bloat in every picture.

Part of me thinks he just does that to seem like a badass, like hemingway or something. Also his big fat bloated face could just be because he has a horrible diet.

Don’t get me wrong, him being an alcoholic makes perfect sense. I’m just wondering if there’s definitive proof of it.

 

[delite]

He lies all the time though. Why would someone lie about this you may ask? Great question.


Part of me thinks he just does that to seem like a badass, like hemingway or something. Also his big fat bloated face could just be because he has a horrible diet.

Don’t get me wrong, him being an alcoholic makes perfect sense. I’m just wondering if there’s definitive proof of it.

he eats like shit and drinks and doesn't exercise what do we expect

 

[AnOminous]

I think a recent Supreme Court decision says it's cool now

That's Fifth Circuit. Odds are good it goes to SCOTUS but it hasn't yet. Arguably, the result is required by last year's SCOTUS decision in Bruen (and that is what the Circuit stated), but it won't go into effect elsewhere immediately. Also arguably, there is a circuit split on the issue, but I believe the other case preceded Bruen.

In short, Bruen requires that the constitutionality of firearms regulation must be interpreted consistently with what would have been acceptable when the Framers wrote the Constitution. It also placed the rights protected under the Second Amendment on an equal footing with the other enumerated rights in the Bill of Rights. This was believed to be an inevitability given Heller/McDonald, but it hadn't been stated explicitly up until then.

 

[Somerville Dan]

I think there is something wrong with his ability to comprehend reality and process stimuli. No sane person would behave like this for so long.

If you want to go down a random Patrick rabbit hole, there is a theory he suffered a major brain injury from a car or motorcycle accident. He has a weird scar on his forehead and has spoken about various accidents he's been involved in including a wipeout on his motorcycle.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

So I went out today to get my six week old kitten some stuff (she looks more like a two month old even though she needs to pack on some weight, but the vet says six) and went into Chapters to buy a book and actually managed to find one of Patrick's books. Just one, out of three bookstores. Starship Repo costs $27.30 with taxes. That's $26.30 too much. So I bought Brent Weeks most recent book for $26.25 instead. 600 pages from an author that actually knows what they're doing compared to something like 330 pages of the drizzling shits. I proceeded to take out a piece of paper and wrote "fat" on it and slid it on the first page.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

Has anyone actually bothered doing a deep dive on the entirety of one of his books or has no man dared going past about five pages of dreck?

I was actually considering picking up one of his books and giving it a read. I'm genuinely curious to see just how mediocre they are.

Is there any book in particular that people would be interested in seeing a review of? I'm leaning towards Gate Crashers because it has the most generic cover and the cringiest tagline. It does have one thing pushing me away from it though, that being that it's supposed to be a comedy, and there's nothing more miserable than bad comedy

 

[cigarettesalsa]

I was always too dumb
To learn how poetry works
But I still graduated
With a great GPA
Patrick S. Tomlinson
Fat
Irish
And gay

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Some lunatic read Starship Repo and gave it a review in this thread with excerpts.

I would link it for you, but you'd have to pay me like $20 to bother and I might fall asleep and keep your money. Just give me $20

 

[Maude Snew]

If you want to go down a random Patrick rabbit hole, there is a theory he suffered a major brain injury from a car or motorcycle accident. He has a weird scar on his forehead and has spoken about various accidents he's been involved in including a wipeout on his motorcycle.

Harry Pottrick and the stalker of childs. Also fat.

 

[TheGuntinator]

Does he really think the rest of the country doesn't have power outages ever? How different does he imagine Texas's grid even is, especially since he thinks they split off from the "national" one? Does he think electricity completely halts at the Texas border or something? The funny thing is I'd assume Milwaukee is connected through the interchange that includes Canada so Rick's probably getting foreign electricity through his "national" grid unlike Texas!

What was Trick's opinion on when California started having blackouts because their infrastructure is falling apart at the seams?

Does he really drink Miller Lite?

I loathe that beer. Fuck you and your shit beer, Patrick, you fat piece of shit. How dare you.

To be fair, maybe one of his pedophile friends just likes Miller Lite. If three pedophiles crack open a can of Miller Lite, and you ask for a beer, there are now four pedophiles drinking Miller Lite

On O&A they're saying Fatrick is the new Chris Chan. I agree except I think Fatrick is funnier because you can laugh as much as you want at him and you'll never feel bad about it. Chris is kind of pathetic and you feel for him but Fatrick's entire existence and everything he says and does is infuriating.

There will never be a new Chris Chan. People say this in every thread about their favorite cows because the cow is retarded in this way or pigheaded in that, but more often than not it just doesn't apply.

 

[Lorgar]

I don't mind schizophrenia or something similarly severe but mild autism (notice his repeated speech patterns and obsessive behaviors) or mild intellectual disability? I sure can see it.

Really the guy who on a whim texted Rick a photo of his ID then drunk drove across state lines to say hi to him at Hooligans might be a little bit retarded? Astute observation Sherlock.

 

[Hey Fatrick FUCK YOU]

Uh oh, they're on to us (astute observation from the Reddit thread)

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

I'll bite the bullet and read Gate Crashers then since apparently it's part of the same series as Starship Repo but there's no mention of if one is a sequel or if they're just a shared universe. I guess maybe it's just part of that two book contract that got mentioned a little ways back but they're otherwise unrelated. Would a chapter-by-chapter critique would be the way to do it? I guess that's making the assumption that each chapter will have something worthwhile to discuss. Open to suggestions on what people want to hear. I guess I should go back and find the Repo review and see how people liked that

 

[oopsie doodle]

Would a chapter-by-chapter critique would be the way to do it? .... Open to suggestions on what people want to hear.

You're assuming you'll finish it?

I'm only expecting a page number that you tapped out at or, God forbid, a note from your next of kin solemnly informing us that you had buckshot for dinner and are finishing the book in Hell.

 

[I Just Can't Do It :(]

WHY FATRICK IS THE BEST LOLCOW AT THE MOMENT

Imagine a well written novel or story (something fatrick will never accomplish in his life). The reason people consider it valuable is that it offers a glimpse into the human condition. People are interested to learn about a dude blowing up a space laser with an x-wing in a galaxy far far away because they see a part of themselves or people around them in the face of said dude or his coked out girlfriend/sister. The reason people care about a deformed halfling speaking to himself is that he became that through his weaknesses and greed, qualities that they themselves possess. A good hero or vilain is someone the audience can identify at least a part of themselves with.

It is my contention that people are fascinated by lolcows IRL for the same reason. Sure it's fun to look at the 1218 dimension's Gollum shove his stylus up his ass and acting as the ultimate wigger on video, but most people view that as a spectacle rather than the story of a person to be invested in. As interesting of a sight a pig hollerin while people kick his ass around the world is, most people can't project themselves in that position of drunken fury and retardation.
The naivite of an autistic child believing childish shit, heavily invested in characters we ourselves liked as children, is a million times more compelling than the dark insanity of a broken man, heavily invested in his own dead father actually existing in a different dimension.

That is the reason why fatrick is the n1 lolcow right now, trumping strong contenders like Ethan Ralph and Cyraxx. A lot of us have been in the position of sperging out about issues we care about. Shit, i am doing it right now. Most people have found themselves raging a bit too hard about some political shit online.
The pathetic state he has brought himself into required nothing more than weaknesses most people possess. Many of us think too higly of ourselves, sometimes we wish we could fucking deal with people fucking with us online, sometimes we rage harder than we should.

There is just a little voice in our head that prevents us from going down that path. Learning from our socialisation, our own mistakes or those of others who have done similar shit, we are able to realise that this is a bad idea and stop. This is the only thing separating a normal person from a fatrick.
If a writter was asked to make a lolcow character out of a normal person, he wouldn't start with someone with severe physical or mental disabilities, or crazy behavioral issues. He would just need to give the average person the quintessential lolcow trait, the inability to learn, evolve and change course.

Only because HE JUST CAN NOT STOP, an average guy with an average carreer and an average life, in the span of a couple of years, turned himself into the fat faggot with bitch tits, the porque squeeler himself, aka the FATRICK TOMLINSON we all love to watch destroy himself every day.

PS. Null if you happen to see this it would be nice to have a spell checking feature, because for a lot of us English is our second language and we are shit at spelling. You can also hard code the word "internet" to be always auto corrected with a capital I while at it.

 

[siegemeister675]

WHY FATRICK IS THE BEST LOLCOW AT THE MOMENT

Imagine a well written novel or story (something fatrick will never accomplish in his life). The reason people consider it valuable is that it offers a glimpse into the human condition. People are interested to learn about a dude blowing up a space laser with an x-wing in a galaxy far far away because they see a part of themselves or people around them in the face of said dude or his coked out girlfriend/sister. The reason people care about a deformed halfling speaking to himself is that he became that through his weaknesses and greed, qualities that they themselves possess. A good hero or vilain is someone the audience can identify at least a part of themselves with.

It is my contention that people are fascinated by lolcows IRL for the same reason. Sure it's fun to look at the 1218 dimension's Gollum shove his stylus up his ass and acting as the ultimate wigger on video, but most people view that as a spectacle rather than the story of a person to be invested in. As interesting of a sight a pig hollerin while people kick his ass around the world is, most people can't project themselves in that position of drunken fury and retardation.
The naivite of an autistic child believing childish shit, heavily invested in characters we ourselves liked as children, is a million times more compelling than the dark insanity of a broken man, heavily invested in his own dead father actually existing in a different dimension.

That is the reason why fatrick is the n1 lolcow right now, trumping strong contenders like Ethan Ralph and Cyraxx. A lot of us have been in the position of sperging out about issues we care about. Shit, i am doing it right now. Most people have found themselves raging a bit too hard about some political shit online.
The pathetic state he has brought himself into required nothing more than weaknesses most people possess. Many of us think too higly of ourselves, sometimes we wish we could fucking deal with people fucking with us online, sometimes we rage harder than we should.

There is just a little voice in our head that prevents us from going down that path. Learning from our socialisation, our own mistakes or those of others who have done similar shit, we are able to realise that this is a bad idea and stop. This is the only thing separating a normal person from a fatrick.
If a writter was asked to make a lolcow character out of a normal person, he wouldn't start with someone with severe physical or mental disabilities, or crazy behavioral issues. He would just need to give the average person the quintessential lolcow trait, the inability to learn, evolve and change course.

Only because HE JUST CAN NOT STOP, an average guy with an average carreer and an average life, in the span of a couple of years, turned himself into the fat faggot with bitch tits, the porque squeeler himself, aka the FATRICK TOMLINSON we all love to watch destroy himself every day.

PS. Null if you happen to see this it would be nice to have a spell checking feature, because for a lot of us English is our second language and we are shit at spelling. You can also hard code the word "internet" to be always auto corrected with a capital I while at it.

Hit the nail on the head mate, if I could give you a "like" "winner" and "drink" for this one I would. Also, what is your first language? Your English prose is amazing, spelling aside you sound like a native speaker.

 

[Firstname Lastname]

You're assuming you'll finish it?

I'm only expecting a page number that you tapped out at or, God forbid, a note from your next of kin solemnly informing us that you had buckshot for dinner and are finishing the book in Hell.

I've tried to read some of his books and haven't gotten beyond chapter 1 with any of them.