Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,620 74.5%

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You know it's none of my business but if you are chronically obese and you try dieting and exercise and it doesn't work after a year, they'd probably consider you a candidate for medical weight loss surgery. I'm just saying.

I watched the archive when it popped up here, but didn't write a reeecap while writing it. It's not particularily memorable, so I'll just give a basic rundown (because I'm NOT rewatching it). This is out of order.

According the placards, and her saying the date in one scene, this video supposedly covers January 31st to February 1st. She weighed herself on the first, and was 511.something lbs, already down a few lbs from Sunday, and 8.something lbs down from the 520 she started at. She talks about how it's all finally clicked for her.

She tells the audience not to come for her, because she'll be using instacart and food deliveries more frequently now, because she doesn't want to get triggered by nummy-nums in the store and worries she's not strong enough to avoid the snackypoos. She's also going to order far more frequently and get smaller deliveries... I think so there isn't as much food in the house? I don't know. I got the vibe that since she's trying to eat less, she's going to spend that free time obsessing over grocery deliveries and to feed her shopping compulsion - but maybe that's just me.

She does a small grocery haul. I don't remember what was there other than cocktail shrimp and a canister of nuts.

She finished the first diamond art 'painting', and is now working on her Starry Night 'painting'. "So therapeutic". I'd correct that to 'so distracting', and would recommend she spend that therapeutic time on ACTUAL therapy, but whatever. This isn't any more harmful to her than her doodles or scratch art or assembling LEGO, or any of her other distractions.

Um... what else? Oh yeah, she shows off the corner of the office that used to have that chair that Jade and Amber raced to Walmart to buy before the last one sold out. She doesn't mention where it went (GoodWill?). Now there is a white laminiated OSB endtable with black metal legs in that corner. On top of it is one of those 'old-timey' looking woodgrain record players that Walmart sells, and a bunch of records in one of the cubbies underneath. I guess collecting vinyls will be the new time and money sink. She has all of the classics, such as Billie Elish (or whatever her name is).

Rarity says 'mew'.

Amber shows us trait #738,303,049,202 that makes her quorky and not like other gorls. She carries around a can of soda and a bottle of water. And to get her water in, she takes a tiny sip of water every time she takes a sip of pop. She boasts that she used to get her water in by chugging a 16oz bottle at once, which completely goes against what she said two minutes before that she was drinking 4-5 cans of pop per day and no water. Anyway, she's working on 'sipping' now instead of gulping, because the WLS told her that she wouldn't be able to gulp after the surgery. To my knowledge, he also told her she wouldn't be able to have pop, but I guess one impossible thing at a time.

Oh, Amber's food. SO DUMB: 4 cocktail shrimp pre-dipped in sauce, 5 watermellon chunks, about 3 pineapple chunks, two sliver-sized slices of apple, 1 1/2 to 2 Tbsp of nuts, about 1 1/2 Tbsp of wasabi peas, half a dozen olives, and maybe about 1/2 cup of cottage cheese. So, back to unbalanced "meals" of random shit with completely unrealistic portions. For example, I believe shrimp that size are approximately 15 per 80 calorie portion, and about 20ish grams of protein, give or take. Eating 4 is just retarded (unless you're 3 years old or something).

Amber did some sort of course for the weight-loss doctor - which ended up being with a dietician. I don't remember exactly what she was blabbing on about, but the vibe was that she felt vindicated about how much she knew about nutrition. And yes, this was in the same video as her retarded snack platter meal that you would have at a party or something. She's INSUFFERABLE in this video as if she's just got it all figured out, and it's so easy - you just don't eat. Then she admits it's hard and she cries at night about not being able to eat, or something like that.

All in all, this video felt EXACTLY like those videos she did in the two weeks after shrimpgate where she was pretending that it had finally clicked for her and she was ready to save her life. Showing absurdly small portions, emphasizing how much water she's drinking, GIVING WEIGHTLOSS ADVICE TO HER AUDIENCE. It's just... yeah.
Uh so she has had weight loss surgery already?

Let me guess, the soda wasn't diet
 
True but this big bitch's NPD wouldn't admit that.
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I totally forgot about jeffreestarrlynn

Anyways ambers content is truly bottom of the barrel now. We arent even getting her doing torrid try ons or her walking period. I’m starting to side with the rumor within a few reaction channels that she’s become almost immobile.

And a mini rant on Jade: she seems the most confident and assertive of her gfs and yet she’s 26 and complacent to sitting with amber round the clock in that apartment doing arts and crafts and talking about food non stop? She’s got to have some kind of life off camera or possibly a side hoe.

During the live stream era amber bragged that she could “go to concerts” ok do it then go sit in the disabled accessible section or go to a fucking drag show do SOMETHING. Shes lived in Lexington for 3 years and gone to Christmas lights and mini golf. It’s one thing to be a homebody and another to have a lifestyle vlog channel and your just sitting at a desk filming yourself sipping water.
 
Amber shows us trait #738,303,049,202 that makes her quorky and not like other gorls. She carries around a can of soda and a bottle of water. And to get her water in, she takes a tiny sip of water every time she takes a sip of pop.
Bitch need to suck on a 🔥 hose.

This is the "dainty" side of this megafulump? Still makes me giggle.

SURE, JAN!
 
T-T-T-T-T-THROWBACK order might be jank but i labeled em.

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Goddamn, she is such a cunt. She's always been this way, I don't see how people want/try to argue against that.

It's crazy (not really) how these types of interactions between loved ones and her have been repeated multiple times in her life since then.

"YOU did this to ME even though I should've been responsible; YOU'RE in the wrong because I said so."

No wonder why Tammie gave up on her, no wonder why her grandma kicked her out, no wonder why her mom ghosted her after her cancer saga. You can't make any progress with someone whose this pigheaded (literally).


God, Karim's comment made me ugly laugh. If he only knew that 11 years later and it's still hilariously accurate.
 
"Try" dieting and exercise? or actually physically commit to maintaining a calorie deficit?
Yeah which is why they make people lose weight beforehand. Because they're less likely to die during surgery and also to prove they're actually willing to change. (Obviously that doesn't seem to be the case here)
 
T-T-T-T-T-THROWBACK order might be jank but i labeled em.
It's always hard for me with Amber because I know she had a seriously fucked childhood and it really screwed her up. I really do empathize with that and some of her resulting behavior makes a lot of sense (her not wanting to write her mom in jail because she felt abandoned in the system while still wanting her love in spite of that is totally reasonable). But goddamn it if she isn't a fucking cunt too. Even that exchange has her trademark lies: "You kicked me out"; "No I didn't, you chose to leave"; "Yes I did choose to leave but I still hate you". Not saying she's the only problem in that family, but still. I'd have an easier time believing she was just an asshole 20-year-old like a lot of us are/were, but she's never changed.

Also chuckled at her spelling ludicrous like Ludacris.
 
I have to say I don't care for aunt Tammie at all. There's something really pathetic about signing up for Kiwifarms under one's own name and face to shit out family issues in order to own their niece. This apparent long standing grudge about Amber not writing her mother in prison is weird to me since Tammie hates her own mom so much. It's not like there wasn't a good reason for Amber to not write - she loved meth so much she let California repo her kids twice.
I’m having trouble imagining three people
Four I think - Mom's boyfriend lived there too.
 
So would this be the apartment complex she was staying in with Casey and his mother? I’m having trouble imagining three people—at least one of whom was the size of a baby elephant—co-existing amicably in this much space.

Yes. IIRC, Amber and Casey slept in the living room.

I think her mom tolerated Amber because at first she felt sorry for her. That good will soured quickly. The only logical thing to do was to find another mark…quick rundown:
-Krystal era: K’s parents took her in and tried to help her lose weight. She loses the infamous 89 elbees. She complains about this, but ends up finding Destiny online.
-Destiny era: She moves in with D (and eventually D’s mother in Kentucky). D leaves her for Dana. Amber is truly heartbroken, but ends up finding Becky online.
-Becky era: She moves in with B, whose roommates are not particularly thrilled by this, but Amber is now making big bucks on YouTube, so who cares. B takes 4 years to tell her it’s over, but it’s fine because Amber ends up finding Jade online.

Hey, Alina, are you taking notes? Because they all have quite a bit in common:
-They all thought Amber was coming to “visit”. Not a single damn one expected her to move in.
-They all fell for the “poor me” act until it was too late.
-They all were replaced by the next gullible freak who dared to enter her DM’s.

From California to Oklahoma to Arizona to Virginia to Florida to Kentucky. Amber is a cunt no matter where she goes.
 
I really do empathize... but she's never changed.
She's never had to try to change so there's no need. There are enough of us hairless apes with too much empathy and heart strings to pull that she'll be able to survive as the parasitic organism she's always been for the remainder of her bean bag life. She's very collectivistic when it comes to sharing why she has character flaws and personality issues with her family, even blaming Becky for cancer, but Jesus be eating her Coco Puffs if anyone else is to be credited for why she is such a successful YT celebrity.
 
Someone mentioned it before the weekend, but I find the Haydur Nation schlock of, "We don't hate Amberlynn's weight!" insufferable, because it lends me insight to how they see vice, as though the act of overindulgence is removed from the outcome (fatness). If you pardon her fatness, you pardon the act. You can't separate them.
 
"Tastebuds do change"

No, you started dating a black girl and now you think it's cute to like watermelon. I know why the reaction channels don't call it out, but they have to notice that she's a wigger now.
Because the moment they mention it they get #CANCELLED for #RACISM!!!!!!!!!! Then Amber has the moral high ground and nobody wants that. It'd be beyond insufferable. She'd be going on and on about how racist the haydurs are and how she would never.
 
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