So my surgery is in 25 days with Drs Chen, Safa and Watt. I’m super excited to be getting phallo because I just know it will better my life and make me so much more happy in my own skin. To be able to STP, to have my own dick that’s attached to my body that I don’t have to constantly worry about and that I can actually feel, to be able to feel the inside of my gf after my sensation grows back, to never feel wet again, etc… like.. YEET!! I can’t wait!!! Buuuuut every day that passes and my surgery gets closer, my anxiety goes up and up. I know complications are not uncommon but I’m not scared for complications post op. I’m not scared of pain or really seeing my graft site. I’m mostly scared for the surgery itself. And I’m also scared of the catheters. Hopefully I’m not alone with feeling this way lol.
My anxiety mostly comes from the anesthesia. I’m absolutely terrified to wake up in the middle of surgery. And I also get scared about what if they overdose me on something and I die. Lol. It sounds so stupid, it really does. But death is my biggest fear of all time. And I have massive medical anxiety. I know the chances of both these things happening are SOO small but there’s still a chance ya know?
It also just disgusts me that my arm will basically be degloved. Like my arm bones will be exposed to the air! That’s crazy to think about! And my bottom half will be cut open and so much blood will be lost and it’s just nasty to think about lmao. Don’t get me wrong it’s incredible how they can literally make a new appendage from a different body part and give it all these functions and such and make it look so good. But like the process of them making it and cutting me open and such freaks me out lmao.
Also for everyone who got both the foley and sp catheters.. did it hurt getting them taken out? Is the feeling at all comparable to getting the drains out for di top surgery or is it completely different like more painful or something?
How did you get over the anxiety of having this major surgery? I know I just have to get through it but I’m wondering if anyone has any kind of techniques to kind of ease the anxiety a bit. I need a bunch of people to tell me that my fears are dumb because what I worry about most probably won’t happen lol. Maybe then my brain will stop being so scared and sending me into anxiety attacks
