Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

His stroked out brain is worse than it’s ever been before.View attachment 4481320

Edit: There are no locations within hundreds of miles of him. Why does he care about this?

“[It] better not be ketchup on those meatballs.”

Imagine- he then goes on to sperg about ketchup’s evul sugar content, and tries to lie that he never uses it. Because, you see, Jack wants us all to know that he is a very health-conscious individual with great inner strength to eschew unhealthy things like sugar. I would guess that the lying about making healthy choices was spawned by embarrassment over the fact that people are watching his self-destruction like a sideshow. I anticipate this only increasing in the wake of his recent hospitalization.

Realistically, he’s just calling blasphemy on ketchup being slathered as the main topping on a meatball sub- we all know Jack prefers (*warmed*) marinara sauce. And due to strokebrain (and the vibrancy of that shade of red in the photo), what’s left of Jack’s mind is telling him that he’s looking at ketchup when most people would peg it right away as marinara. So he sees something that’s not really there and starts bitching. Typical.

Sandwich looks like shit anyway- judging from the appearance of that half-assed sauce, ketchup would be far preferable.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack wants us all to know that he is a very health-conscious individual with great inner strength to eschew unhealthy things like sugar.

He's been doing that for years.

Back several years after the stroke that took his arm and leg he responded to I think a Dunkin Donuts social media post asking about their donut holes and he described them as "small balls of poison". Meanwhile this is the same faggot that got irrationally angry when that cookie place didn't have his cookies.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

So, what is an underrated Jack fuck up? We've seen the cheese salad, and the chicken etc.

Literally anytime he cooks ribs, especially early on. His preferred way, early on, was to sear the ribs and then lower the flame essentially treating them like a steak. Totally incorrect, and more work than doing them properly.

Also,

Romantic Dinners #1 and #3
The "perfect" omelette
Lazy Man's Chocolate Lava Cake
Aero Knife Review

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

They don’t have a Guinness WR, just a self-reported fastest known time in one particular category of AT hikes. But in Jack’s mind every record is the Ginneth wurld recurrd!!!

 

[p1138]

They don’t have a Guinness WR, just a self-reported fastest known time in one particular category of AT hikes. But in Jack’s mind every record is the Ginneth wurld recurrd!!!

View attachment 4491148

For a moment I was wondering wtf fatty edited the thumbnail to make them look like the bogdanoff twins.. nope they did it themselves.

And they've already got a teespring store for their channel with less than 2k views because everyone needs to get their pixelated dog silhouette shirt

https://my-store-10330165.creator-spring.com/listing/tri-blend-t-shirt-2?product=211

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

They don’t have a Guinness WR, just a self-reported fastest known time in one particular category of AT hikes. But in Jack’s mind every record is the Ginneth wurld recurrd!!!

View attachment 4491148

Jesus Christ the one on the right. How ugly are you when a filter makes you look like a troon?

 

[stets]

And they've already got a teespring store for their channel with less than 2k views because everyone needs to get their pixelated dog silhouette shirt
https://my-store-10330165.creator-spring.com/listing/tri-blend-t-shirt-2?product=211

Guarantee you Jack designed those hideous shirts. They're exactly the same combo of nonsensical clipart and stroke brain engrish as JackMerch. Font also looks identical.

 

[p1138]

Jesus Christ the one on the right. How ugly are you when a filter makes you look like a troon?

Considering the blonde one introduces themselves as "Angela" in a video, and the description mentions a "Conrad"... maybe it is a troon?

Guarantee you Jack designed those hideous shirts. They're exactly the same combo of nonsensical clipart and stroke brain engrish as JackMerch. Font also looks identical.
View attachment 4491666

What if this was the result of mushbrain's "how to make money on youtube" or whatever that nonsense was he tried pretending to be some kind of expert on youtube for a bit?

 

[Seymour Duncan]

So, what is an underrated Jack fuck up? We've seen the cheese salad, and the chicken etc.

The chicken is technically cooked, but that's the least of his problems. It's just a perfect storm of shitty frathouse cooking tips (baked potatoes in a fuckin microwave with a dessert of an entire jar of pre-made cheesecake filling lmao) presented as unironic "cooking" "advice" with an utterly disgusting end result.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Guarantee you Jack designed those hideous shirts. They're exactly the same combo of nonsensical clipart and stroke brain engrish as JackMerch. Font also looks identical.
View attachment 4491666

JFC - I'm an old metalhead so I've seen (and TBH have worn) a shitload of poorly designed shirts. But this is under the toilet bowl scum level garbage.

So of course I agree that Jack made it.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

The chicken is technically cooked, but that's the least of his problems. It's just a perfect storm of shitty frathouse cooking tips (baked potatoes in a fuckin microwave with a dessert of an entire jar of pre-made cheesecake filling lmao) presented as unironic "cooking" "advice" with an utterly disgusting end result.

Plating looks like something out of the 70s.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

I better not be ketchup in this barbeque sauce.
View attachment 4483624

Jesus fucking christ, 11g of sugar per 19g tablespoon??

 

[ZipDisk]

we all know Jack prefers (*warmed*) marinara sauce.

He likes it in a separate cup so he can just suck it down.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Jesus fucking christ, 11g of sugar per 19g tablespoon??

Looks like it's equal parts ketchup to brown sugar.

 

[p1138]

Jesus fucking christ, 11g of sugar per 19g tablespoon??

Fatty has 4 food groups. Meat, Cheese, Grease, and Sugar. Sugar he can't have as much of so he screams about keto and monkfruit. It's the same reason he finds vinegar based bbq sauce revolting, not enough sugar for him. The mushrooms he got in the hospital were a vehicle for grease and nothing more. He won't touch a salad unless it's simply a means to get meat and cheese into his face. Hence his idea of BBQ sauce might as well be caramel.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He won't touch a salad unless it's simply a means to get meat and cheese into his face.

Don't forget copious amounts of dressing:

Two whole eggs on that "salad". That is practically a meal in itself.

 

[Pig Cups]

Guarantee you Jack designed those hideous shirts. They're exactly the same combo of nonsensical clipart and stroke brain engrish as JackMerch. Font also looks identical.
View attachment 4491666

Is that a contracted graphic design project, courtesy of TJ Services? I really hope that it was done as a favor for friends, and that Jack wasn’t actually paid for the two minutes he spent assembling that horseshit. There’s an unfortunate chance that he was, though.

But since they apparently *didn’t* headbutt Jackoff, spit on his ass, and refuse to pay when he came back with that dreck…well, that just makes them clueless. If they can’t spot how pathetic of a job that is, what does that say about them?? Rubes…

 

[alawital]

Look at this soyfacing fat. That is all.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

View attachment 4490252
This abomination. He didn’t even put it on the cake himself, he had to have Tammy slop it on for him.

Looks literally like weird period blood clot that happens randomly. Second thought it looks like a raw human liver dumped onto it.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

View attachment 4490536
Look at this soyfacing fat. That is all.