🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Mr E. Grifter]

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T / A

Looks like all is not well in the horse stables...

Meigh gets a lot of shit, and she deserves the majority of it, but at least she appreciates that as fun as holidays might be - rent, groceries and money to cover bills comes first.

Ralph seems to have missed the moment in his 20s where he realised he couldn't spend all his money on frivolous nonsense...

It's probably because he spent his 20s as a basement dweller in his momma house. Fat scab.

Shame Meighs broke brain equates hollerin' with impotent rage with masculinity. Retard.

 

[AnOminous]

He’ll say he’s sober but he’ll still be at least half cut i‘ll bet. It’s a New Coke situation: Ralph’s been a drunken mess for so long nobody can remember what he’s actually like not running off whiskey and pills.

He used to have the long-term alcoholic thing of needing to be drunk just to be normal, but he could at least pass as normal. Now he's either ramped up from the cheap Mexican booze, or his liver has lost the ability to process it. More likely both.

Ralph got a request for a $4,000 retainer from his lawyer representing him on the Faith case. As soon as he got it he cracked open a beer.

Ralph is the perfect client for this kind of guy, a retard who is constantly getting in trouble but it's all the routine bullshit trouble that retards are constantly getting in. Sure he'll lose but the lawyer just has to go through the motions and put up with some hollerin'.

You can tell he knows he isn't getting a dime if it isn't up front, because losers like Ralph are a dime a dozen.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

He used to have the long-term alcoholic thing of needing to be drunk just to be normal, but he could at least pass as normal. Now he's either ramped up from the cheap Mexican booze, or his liver has lost the ability to process it. More likely both.

Ralph is the perfect client for this kind of guy, a retard who is constantly getting in trouble but it's all the routine bullshit trouble that retards are constantly getting in. Sure he'll lose but the lawyer just has to go through the motions and put up with some hollerin'.

You can tell he knows he isn't getting a dime if it isn't up front, because losers like Ralph are a dime a dozen.

It’s all the cheap Mexican Xanax, plus his typical booze intake, that have resulted in his current slurring, dilapidated state. He started out in Mexico with a small habit but it’s been ramping up to its current level for months.

The PD Ralph got assigned deals with at least a dozen Ralphamales every single week when she shows up at the courthouse to go through her assigned client roster that have hearings scheduled.
She won’t be able to remember Ralph from the fifty other drunk, broke, abusive shitbags she been assigned in the last six months. Only on the day of the hearing, or a call with Gunt, when she grabs the Ralph file and scans it quickly will she know anything about the latest asshole the court assigned her. She will do her best to forget it as soon as she shoves the file back in a drawer too.

 

[OrionBalls]

How has this guy not gotten ahold of some adulterated methanol from a cheap liquor store, yet? I thought the poisoning of all those tourists happened in Yucatan.

 

[Burd Turglar]

How has this guy not gotten ahold of some adulterated methanol from a cheap liquor store, yet? I thought the poisoning of all those tourists happened in Yucatan.

Ralph puts so much cheap liquor and sketchy drugs cut with god knows what into his body that I doubt it would even be noticeable.

 

[Um...]

Yet another massive W for the Ralph!

Event is back ON, baby

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Yet another massive W for the Ralph!
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Event is back ON, baby

Need to see confirmation. This might just be him taking some attempted assuasion from Ali and getting it scrambled through his mental pig filters.

If real though, I demand we cease importing retards from said countries for tech work. They’re dumber than our homegrown trannies

 

[Super Male Vitality]

Yet another massive W for the Ralph!
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Event is back ON, baby

IF this is actually true, I’d imagine the only reason this is the case is that Ali cried and begged his parents because he believes Ralph and the gaypers are his real friends. Ali, being their only son who clearly has some developmental issue, feel bad and want him to be happy so they relented. So essentially it comes down to Ralph emotionally manipulating a family via Ali.

 

[Beef Elemental]

IF this is actually true, I’d imagine the only reason this is the case is that Ali cried and begged his parents because he believes Ralph and the gaypers are his real friends. Ali, being their only son who clearly has some developmental issue, feel bad and want him to be happy so they relented. So essentially it comes down to Ralph emotionally manipulating a family via Ali.

Ralph has been downgrading the event from 300 to 150 to 50 to 20 attendees and his final offer to the Jamals the other day was just dinner with them at a restaurant (why?). I think Mrs. Jamal wants to make money off him somehow, maybe it's that reality show offer he drunkenly bragged about a couple days ago. She claims to have been in television. If this is going to be a legitimate grifted event it's going to be a win for content lovers at least.

 

[Truly Rural]

T / A

Posting for the Archive

This is so utterly pathetic. Begging rich people to lend you their living space so you can brag to your nonexisting audience about having access to other people's wealth. Gunt has MULTIPLE properties in MULTIPLE states. He should just host in in his swamp. Show your own wealth for a change.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Hell yeah Ralph! There's nothing I want more than him to snuggle up to the Jamals and embarrass the fuck out of them. The man's life is a weird sitcom, it's just really dark humor.

 

[Derpy]

Yet another massive W for the Ralph!
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Event is back ON, baby

It’s funny that Ralph thinks his fans know what “black tie affair” is and I doubt anyone who listens to his show has black tie attire.

Ali Jamal is one of Ralph’s big pay piggies and I imagine Ralph was desperate to be in good graces with him and his family.

Ralph is such a simpleton.

 

[OrionBalls]

Ralph doesn't own a black tie.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

Ali Jamal ensuring the kang of cahntent keeps delivering for us.

Now the question is whether it'll be a wet fart and utterly boring like Ralphamania, Or top tier like the bowling alley event?

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

So Ralph is going to hold a "black tie" event at someone's house, for who? The drunken retarded rednecks who come to his gay scuffed events?

Why?

 

[MeltyTW]

So Ralph is going to hold a "black tie" event at someone's house, for who? The drunken retarded rednecks who come to his gay scuffed events?

Why?

I imagine Alis mom or dad if he knows said that his retard fans can't be a bunch of drunk assholes so he's trying to spin being told to dress himself like a baby as a win

Personally I think he's going off either Ali or his mom saying maybe or saying they'll try to convince the dad as gospel because he's impatient to flaunt "ws" or the event got so neutered that the Jamal are basically being paid for Ethan to make his fans dress themselves properly and being silent for however long while a movie plays and they can maybe bowl

 

[Pit Viper Salesman]

I imagine Alis mom or dad if he knows said that his retard fans can't be a bunch of drunk assholes so he's trying to spin being told to dress himself like a baby as a win

Personally I think he's going off either Ali or his mom saying maybe or saying they'll try to convince the dad as gospel because he's impatient to flaunt "ws" or the event got so neutered that the Jamal are basically being paid for Ethan to make his fans dress themselves properly and being silent for however long while a movie plays and they can maybe bowl

Based on what we are learning of Mrs Jamal’s history, it seems she has very strong ambitions to become some form of media influencer. It’s likely this is why she’s blindly pushing Ali as hard as she is in hopes she can get him to the point of accessing larger creators.

My suspicion is that she is badgering her husband to make this happen against his much better judgement.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Based on what we are learning of Mrs Jamal’s history, it seems she has very strong ambitions to become some form of media influencer. It’s likely this is why she’s blindly pushing Ali as hard as she is in hopes she can get him to the point of accessing larger creators.

My suspicion is that she is badgering her husband to make this happen against his much better judgement.

Too bad nobody told her that “gunt guard” is a bad origin story

 

[Derpy]

So Ralph is going to hold a "black tie" event at someone's house, for who? The drunken retarded rednecks who come to his gay scuffed events?

Why?

I believe Ralph is trying to have a movie premiere at the Jamal house. He claimed they were making a documentary during Ralphamania.

Fuck Ali Jamal’s mom for even talking to Ethan after he told her husband to “fuck off and die”. If anyone talked to my husband like that like that, they wouldn’t be getting anything nice from me.

Nobody has self respect anymore.

 

[break these cuffs]

Too bad nobody told her that “gunt guard” is a bad origin story

They tried and thankfully she hasn't listened. We need Gunt out and about trying to pull off hairbrained schemes, not cooped up in his 3rd world hollerin' hovel. Anyone willing to get in bed with Ralph deserves everything they get.