Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[TheCakeIsALie]

Hamber doesn't have a tv show and isn't really on the precipice of death. She's perfectly capable of losing weight without surgery; she simply doesn't want to.




Ricky hated her guts; it was Eric Hamber simpered for. I agree with @dfranki723 that some of it was that Eric would pay attention to er more than the other characters in the hamberverse. I think part of it was also because she (of course) believes in the whole gay bestie trope, so in her YA mind, she was the quirky, dainty princess and he was the gay bestie courtier. Becky was the drab handmaiden and Ricky the evil count who wants to take her power. Density was the prince she pined for and Dana played the part of Shrek.




In the alternate universe where Hamber gets WLS, I, too, look forward to this arc.

View attachment 4507554

Yeah, I was referring to the commenter who was saying Tammy shouldn’t have gotten wls. I’m no Slaton fan but Tammy did do everything asked of her.

Regarding Amber, I do miss the gaycare era.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

....In the alternate universe where Hamber gets WLS, I, too, look forward to this arc.


View attachment 4507554

Don't do the sharpei dirty like that. What did they ever do to you?


Amber may have a shot at this. Hey! A gorl can dream! Get yer rainbows ready...

Spoiler: Spoilered because autism like this MUST be contained...

If she can blow enough smoke and push the process through relatively quickly, she could POSSIBLY get approved before she can't do it any longer and starts to gain again. Don't forget, she GAINED 60lbs in like, 6 weeks last fall, and then maintained (and possibly even gained) from November to late January, so she has 60 lbs to lose through her 'epiphany' without having to enter unchartered territory in regards to weight loss (and possibly even MORE than those 60lbs). She's failed the process enough times to get an idea of what NOT to say and do. And she's been saying that Jade has been with her every step of the way. Enough trial and error - combined with Jade's coaching - MIGHT be enough for her to squeak by as being deemed psychologically fit enough for the surgery.

I know there are other issues, such as her sleep apnea, that would need to be dealt with. She might be willing to do the test and get a CPAP machine - she'd just lie to her audience and say she passed the test and didn't need one. She'd never show it, and post op would likely stop using it.

All that would be left would be the funding. And who knows: she may have been lying earlier about not having the money as an excuse for when she didn't want to have the surgery. She also pretended to have severe cash-flow problems in early 2021 (and actually convinced Becky to get a job because of it), despite her still making enough money to constantly squander on useless shit that year. She might have some money saved and be telling porkies about insurance not covering it. Well, we KNOW she's lying about no insurance being able to cover it, because the Weight Loss Clinic ASKED HER WHAT INSURANCE SHE'D BE USING. Maybe this could be the storyline so in the 3rd act the money comes in at the 11th hour? She paints herself as now being responsible with money and able to save, while also dragging out the storyline and adding drama. Maybe Jade has some money from her settlement and is dense enough to give it to Amber for this?

This could actually make things really interesting. As much as people want to see her fail and for everyone to discover what sort of shitty person she is, that's not usually the outcome you get with narcs like Amber. The only justice with narcs like Amber is to sit back and watch them get everything they want, because their own stupidity and massive egos ALWAYS ruins it for them and puts them in a worse place than where they started. For example: Amber made HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS through YouTube, yet only had 200lbs of additional bodyfat water-weight, and a storage locker filled with thousands of Shopkins, stickers, journals, plastic suckalints, and tacky counterfeit purses to show for it.

If this is the universe where Amber gets the surgery, it will definitely be interesting. The Post-WLS arc will be Amber trying to act like an inspiration and lecturing everyone on nutrition while rapidly gaining on ice cream, chips, ramen, and 'reeee-ceeees cups'.... or developing a scratch-card addiction.

Those to be honest, I do feel a little 'dishardened', because I remember Amber saying "A life where you can only eat 2 Skittles isn't a life worth living", so even if approved and finances are lined up, I'm sure some sort of 'emergency' will come up that she has to focus on, resulting in her 'reluctantly' giving up on her WLS dream.

 

[the weeknd warrior]

The only justice with narcs like Amber is to sit back and watch them get everything they want, because their own stupidity and massive egos ALWAYS ruins it for them and puts them in a worse place than where they started.

As a proper ACoN, I always wait for when their pride peaks to begin methodically sniping at their pillars of liabilities that they deluded themselves into believing were indestructible. It's always the same problem, it's the appearance of having things and being things that bring about their demise. Unfortunate for us that it always takes forever and a half for people who deserve it the most but when it does hit, it hits like the nose of the ribeye that the chef cuts off for themself when cooking your piece.

To be frank, I've never understood sin until I've started following Amber.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Don't do the sharpei dirty like that. What did they ever do to you?

True story: when I was very young, I thought they were mythical creatures, and it wasn't possible they could exist in our world.

Amber may have a shot at this. Hey! A gorl can dream! Get yer rainbows ready...

If she can blow enough smoke and push the process through relatively quickly, she could POSSIBLY get approved before she can't do it any longer and starts to gain again. Don't forget, she GAINED 60lbs in like, 6 weeks last fall, and then maintained (and possibly even gained) from November to late January, so she has 60 lbs to lose through her 'epiphany' without having to enter unchartered territory in regards to weight loss (and possibly even MORE than those 60lbs). She's failed the process enough times to get an idea of what NOT to say and do. And she's been saying that Jade has been with her every step of the way. Enough trial and error - combined with Jade's coaching - MIGHT be enough for her to squeak by as being deemed psychologically fit enough for the surgery.

I think she's gained even more this past month, the way they're hoovering groceries (allegedly), and she's had at least one day where she went pig wild. I use her ears as a gauge: the less I can see her ears when she's looking straight at the camera, the more she's gaining.

If this is the universe where Amber gets the surgery, it will definitely be interesting. The Post-WLS arc will be Amber trying to act like an inspiration and lecturing everyone on nutrition while rapidly gaining on ice cream, chips, ramen, and 'reeee-ceeees cups'.... or developing a scratch-card addiction.

That would liven up the hamberverse.

Those to be honest, I do feel a little 'dishardened', because I remember Amber saying "A life where you can only eat 2 Skittles isn't a life worth living", so even if approved and finances are lined up, I'm sure some sort of 'emergency' will come up that she has to focus on, resulting in her 'reluctantly' giving up on her WLS dream.

Then she decides she doesn't need WLS, she's going back to Jenny Kraig and she's gonna get this under control!*


*Until the next time. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

[The Heartthrob]

Where do you think she got the name Rarity Rae from and why would she want to name a child that?

 

[Turd Fergusson]

I don't see any American doctor approving her for WLS. To me, it screams some elaborate fantasy in her head. We already know she's delusional. Not when she's made zero effort and over the years has ballooned into an even larger whale. She can barely lose a pound, yet has no problem gaining 20-30.

Why not. There are two questions that need to be asked. Can she have the surgery and should she have the surgery?

The first one, can she have the surgery is actually simple. Yes, she can unless there is something physiologically or anatomically that would make it contraindicated. The only thing that I could think about is sleep apnea, and this can be resolved if Amber wants to have the surgery. I think surgical techniques have improved enough that someone of her size can have bariatric surgery safely. Certainly, Dr. Nowzaradan can do it along with a host of other surgical teams, including Dr. Smith.

Should she have the surgery? This question is a bit more complicated but I think that she should. Amber tried all kinds of diets and I think it is impossible for her to lose any substantial amount of weight by just eating less and moving more. It is not going to happen. When you have been morbidly obese your whole life, this is all you know. For the surgery to have a good outcome, she will need all the support required to change her lifestyle. If the psychologist can help her, she might succeed.

Back when she was making good money, she could've easily paid for a trip to Mexico to get WLS. There are doctors that do WLS down there that give zero shits: there's no psych exam, no need to lose weight, nothing like that. You just fly down there and get the surgery and stay a few days until you feel good enough to fly back. Some of the clinics will do surgeries back to back. Tons of people who can't do it here the states (too expensive, insurance won't cover it, ect) fly down there to do it.

I think that it is still an option. She could also go to Turkey or Thailand, but Mexico, being so close is probably better. She does not need to fly, she can drive to Nuevo Laredo, Mexico in 2-3 days.

 

[Xenomorph]

Where do you think she got the name Rarity Rae from and why would she want to name a child that?

Shes trailer trash from Oklahomo.

 

[Shade For Days]

I don't see any American doctor approving her for WLS. To me, it screams some elaborate fantasy in her head. We already know she's delusional. Not when she's made zero effort and over the years has ballooned into an even larger whale. She can barely lose a pound, yet has no problem gaining 20-30.

Back when she was making good money, she could've easily paid for a trip to Mexico to get WLS. There are doctors that do WLS down there that give zero shits: there's no psych exam, no need to lose weight, nothing like that. You just fly down there and get the surgery and stay a few days until you feel good enough to fly back. Some of the clinics will do surgeries back to back. Tons of people who can't do it here the states (too expensive, insurance won't cover it, ect) fly down there to do it.

But she would've fucked that up too. She'd keep gorging even if she had WLS.

Spoiler alert:
(sorry I don't know how to spoiler stuff on here yet)
In her newest video today she claims that she passed the psychological test and that the psychologist approved her for WLS.

This process seems to be moving way faster than what we see on MSHPL and frankly I am kinda shocked that she passed the psychological test. Especially with all her claims in the past of having BED - I guess she lied in her interview. Next step is for the surgeon to meet with her & approve her.
Idk what to think anymore - looks like she may get approved....

 

[Xenomorph]

Spoiler alert:
(sorry I don't know how to spoiler stuff on here yet)
In her newest video today she claims that she passed the psychological test and that the psychologist approved her for WLS.

This process seems to be moving way faster than what we see on MSHPL and frankly I am kinda shocked that she passed the psychological test. Especially with all her claims in the past of having BED - I guess she lied in her interview. Next step is for the surgeon to meet with her & approve her.
Idk what to think anymore - looks like she may get approved....

i think she is setting shit up to be that she was denied last minute.. to be honest this is just for engagement until the elenth hours and she will have a sad face thumbnail with her clickbait "I wish i didnt have to say this..."

 

[TardiX]

Honestly I hope she does get WLS so I can see her whinging about something else for a change. I don't care if it works for her or not, I think either way it'd shake things up

 

[Salvador Dali]

cook w/ me, this is serious (rumor), & psych evaluation - was I approved for wls? | vlog

Spoiler: Feb 12, 2023 Archive

 

[Shade For Days]

Honestly I hope she does get WLS so I can see her whinging about something else for a change. I don't care if it works for her or not, I think either way it'd shake things up

I tend to agree, but the absolute SMUG she is going to get/be if she gets WLS might be unbearable.

 

[Constellationzero]

Yes, she can unless there is something physiologically or anatomically that would make it contraindicated.

No. Just...no.

ZERO doctors worth their licensure will approve this POS. She will never lose the weight to prove she can do a program and stick to it. This is a lifestyle change, not a cosmetic surgery. She's fucked in the head and is definitely one any doctor would require at least a solid YEAR of mandatory continuous therapy. When the hell has she ever stuck with anything?

This question is a bit more complicated but I think that she should.

Holy shit. You cannot be serious. Hambutt should, but only because it absolutely would speed her death in an agonizing (and hilarious for me) way.
But this statement, nor the quote above it, are grounded anywhere in reality. Hambutt is a WASTE of precious resources that are already way overused on sloptastic deathfat wastes of space like her.

No, she needs everyone quietly turning their backs on her (including reaction channels) and giving her the memo to get the hell off the internet.

And for those who don't want to lose a moo cow: With every moo moo lost, about 37 are already waiting in the wings. Hell, a whole ass 16 of them are already on the internet's radar.
You WILL have your cows. You WILL have your entertainment. Promise. And it may be light years better than this shit.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Damn Holly made Big Al big mad lol

 

[Trees]

Who the hell gets their staples at Whole Foods. Who the hell gets their staples at Whole Foods and gets it delivered by Amazon Fresh, in the post free/cheap delivery era? Go to fucking Kroger for frozen vegetables and cream cheese. Order curb side pickup if you're that much of an immobile sideshow. Send Jade. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING FOR WLS.

$9 EGGS!

 

[I call shenanigans]

Spoiler alert:
(sorry I don't know how to spoiler stuff on here yet)
In her newest video today she claims that she passed the psychological test and that the psychologist approved her for WLS.

This process seems to be moving way faster than what we see on MSHPL and frankly I am kinda shocked that she passed the psychological test. Especially with all her claims in the past of having BED - I guess she lied in her interview. Next step is for the surgeon to meet with her & approve her.
Idk what to think anymore - looks like she may get approved....

Well she made it very clear she’d do anything to make this happen, and we watched her wind back her BED…of course she was going to lie about it. I haven’t watched this video yet but I’ll take the bait for now.

Can’t say I’m completely surprised, but I suspect it is a “conditional approval” and Amber either doesn’t know that yet, or doesn’t want to tell us that it’s conditional on further therapy being completed. Her next step isn’t getting the surgeon to approve her, it’s finding out the conditions that he’ll approve her under. There’s more clearances she’ll need to get. Still a lot more steps to go.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Plot Summary with Commentary. Not a reeecap, but a little longer than my average summary. That's because I added Amber's step-by-step recipe for her pasta dish (you're welcome! ). This video has it ALL. Groceries!! Cooking! 2/3 pets! More Food! Books! A psych evaulation that's making me wonder if it happened in our reality or another! Warp Nine, Mr Paris. Engage!!

Spoiler: cook w/ me, this is serious (rumor), & psych evaluation - was I approved for wls? | vlog

-- WELCOME --

GROCERY HAUL: Shops twice per week for food... despite seemingly every video being about groceries. Complains about the lighting. If only she had a ring light for that. You know, I heard a rumour that her local GoodWill may have a lightly-used one for sale...

Anyway, the food: frozen corn, cream cheese spread, 3 salami packs, salami-wrapped cheese, string cheese, shredded lettuce, salsa, mini sweet peppers, white onions, pesto, mandarins, oranges, pasta sauce, 18-count of eggs (flexes they were $9), turkey keilbasa (hmmm, sausage-fest mookbong v2?), ground turkey.

COOK WITH AMBER!

Step one - randomly slash and thrash with a knife, hoping that your fingers don't get chopped with onions and garlic.

Step two - simmer water on the stove while ground turkey is thrown into a cold pan. Dump an absolute FUCK-TON of garlic salt and pepper onto the meat while your discarded grocery bag sits on the floor instead of being placed in the paper recycling/trash bin.

Step three - make your Italian (and even NON-ITALIAN) ancestors roll in their graves by BREAKING THE PASTA (Nonna would have COME BACK FROM THE DEAD to beat the holy FUCK outta me with a wooden spoon if I ever did that), and add it to unsalted water - which doesn't seem to be rapidly boiling. (Amber explained that the pasta was broken up to make it easier to eat)

Step four - add onions and garlic at the same time to the half-cooked turkey in a dry pan that has no oil to keep the aromatics from coming out. Keep stirring rapidly to avoid caramelization.

Step five - Use your hack-and-slash knife skills again, this time to cut broccoli while playing Russian Roulette with your fingers. Add to the turkey mess.

Step six - Mix store-bought premade vodka sauce, AND sriracha, AND basil pesto, AND processed cream cheese product spread to pan-steamed ground turkey. (Nonna, I'm so sorry...)

Step seven - dump the over-cooked, gummy noodles into the dry turkey and broccoli paste, and add about 6oz of pasta water to try and save this nightmare - Jade told her to do this, as Amber thought adding pasta water to sauce was 'weird'. (This pan needs a black [CENSORED] bar obscuring it's contents).

Amber and Jade (who have proven they lack tastebuds) rate it a 10/10. Amber's not a weird trainwreck cook no'mo! - Though she still insists that all of her compost soups were delicious. Chonky-twonk stole a piece of broccoli that fell out of Amberlynn's mouth while she was chewing. I mean, it SOMEHOW fell on the floor. Smart, Amber. Let this dog chew on a piece of broccoli that's covered in SRIRATCHA. Alexa, can dogs eat hot sauce?

Amber updates us about her books. Her next book is 'Big Girl' by Danielle Steel. It's about a fat girl who's treated badly by her family for being fat. Hey Amber, how about you read 'Can't Hurt Me' by David Goggins? Might give you some perspective about shit that people have to go through (or will at least give you some new stories to appropriate).

-- NEXT DAY --

Psych evaluation appointment is in 30 minutes. But Amber, how are you going to see a member of your WLS team from A CONNECTING STATE if your appointment is in 30 minutes and your shelf is still firmly planted in your office? She's taking it seriously: looks like Jade washed Amber's hair. Well, Amber's wearing the shithouse door shirt, so don't worry: she's not taking it TOO seriously. I hope you studied, Amber.

Amber shows us how to braid hair.

JUMP CUT!! Amber passed! She DID study!! Way-to-go, Ambo!! Fat-Gorl dance!

-- WHAT THIS MEANS... --

It means that her BED, I mean, The Binge Monster(TM), I mean, Emotional Eating, I mean, Food Addiction won't stop her from getting the surgery.

The psych evaluation person told Amber that the definition of a 'binge' is eating 3x the amount you would NORMALLY eat. So considering that Amber eats about 4000 calories per day, and her 'average' McDonalds meal was 20pc nuggets, large fries, McDouble, McFlurry, and large sprite, Amber just COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE A BINGE EATER! I mean, Amber didn't eat 3x that amount as a single meal! She'd take BREAKS! HEALTHY!!!

We are ignored while Amber has a conversation with Jade. Amber admits that she has the urge to eat and has to hold herself back EVERY HOUR, FOR ALL 24 HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT. And two weeks later, it's STILL EVERY HOUR. (And THAT, boys and gorls, is what we call 'white-knuckling').

Doesn't-Even-Need-A-Calculator-Lynn needs Alexa to tell her what 20x24 is. Amber thinks there are 20 days in 2 weeks. (And right about this point I'm SERIOUSLY rethinking my life choices)

The psych guy praised Amber on her resilience (did he also compliment you on your YouTube following?) Of course, Amber could't help but try to stuff in as many of her sob-stories before the test as she could. According to the psych-guy, Amber 'beat the odds'. FUCK ME, did this evaluation happen in AMBER'S DREAM?!?

LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!

Oh thank GOD! Rarity jumps onto the kitchen counter and runs defense to distract Amber and save us. Thanks, gorl!

Subscriber Unboxing Haul from her PO Box: I really hope people aren't actually buying her stuff, but rather are sending her products from their businesses trying to get a bit of advertising. Though I dont' know who watches Amber thinking "Oh wow, I really could use some stickers meant for a 7 year old".

A troll (Holly) sent Amber 5 bags of white chocolate gummy bears, with a note saying for Amber and Wifey to enjoy. Amber thanks her, and says she'll give them away. How come you didn't call Holly an asshole and tell her to send you money like you did to that person on your IG?

Amber gives a water tutorial and does another Fat-Gorl dance.

MOAR FOOD: turkey kielbasa, onion, and broccoli - with garlic salt.

Watching TV. Amber answered my question about where her office chair went, and shows it beside the television.

JOURNAL EPIPHANY! Her mentulz are so much better now than they were 3 years ago when she tried to get WLS. UH-HUH... She's a completely different person now... just like she was a completely different person January 2020, and again in fall of 2021. And again in spring of 2022. She just didn't care and didn't want it enough back then. This time it's different! (just like every other time it was different - but it's really, really, really, for real really different this time).

She can't change overnight!

Amber learned coping mechanisms during that year she supposedly did outpatient at the HAES clinic (when she actually wasn't doing outpatient at the HAES clinic). FEELING GOOD!

Amber's decided to RETCON her hysterectomy surgery story now, saying she followed the post-op care instructions (when we all saw that she was refusing to do the walking, and ADMITTED that she wasn't doing the walking)

Amber's back to reading comments. She's debunking the alcohol-drinking part from her questionaire that Karina Kaboom mentioned in a video. Good to know that Amber isn't reading comments, yet has the ability to USE THE FORCE to detect the exact molment that she needs to read the comments in order to debunk some sort of bullshit that only Amber cares about.

Byee!!

TL;DR: Amber buys food, cooks food, and eats food. Twinkie and Rarity sighting. Amber's cramming paid off as she PASSED her psych eval!! Amber was given 5 bags of candy, but she's gonna donate them instead of eating them. Amber really means it this time. Her mentulz are so much healthier than they've EVER BEEN (even including all of those times she said they were better but they really weren't better). Amber debunks a rumor from the comments she now reads again.

 

[BBygorls_Laayggs]

She's really gonna pretend like that's her ass?

 

[Liquid Gravy]

I get the vibe that this "approval" was really more of an official referral from a primary health care doctor to the WLS surgeon. I don't care what she says.

 

[I call shenanigans]

I get the vibe that this "approval" was really more of an official referral from a primary health care doctor to the WLS surgeon. I don't care what she says.

I’m pretty sure she still hasn’t gotten an official referral from her doctor to the surgeon. I’m certain she would have told us if she’d ticked off that box.

What I found interesting about this whole zoom psych approval, was when she stated that they told her beforehand it wasn’t going to be the “full work up” that they usually do. She was confused about that, so I’m actually wondering if she also confused the psych approval being final. It makes no sense that they wouldn’t look at her paperwork that says she’s 500+ lbs and decide to do a half hearted one. The part where she talked about a binge being defined by her psych as when you eat three times more than you normally do was also very strange. At Amber’s size, and given her normal extreme portions, it would be impossible to eat three times that. When things don’t add up there’s usually a reason. I can wait to find out that reason.