The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Curzon Dax-sama]

If only we were so lucky. Their ancestors couldn't even figure out how to die for king and country right, and that inability to neck themselves has propogated down the entire family line.

Surreal to see the tranch come to an end, in a way. It feels like so little time has passed since they were building the gas chamber/tarp barn, buying ridiculous amounts of processed foods to make shitty taco's while melting their kitchen appliances. Now its but ashes to the wind, another footnote of history that nobody will notice. They tried to make it a refuge, a haven, a piece of cultural history, but a thousand years from now, when the tranch is excavated by archeologists, they will label it a slaughterhouse, and wonder what horrific kinds of men could run such a place.

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Surreal indeed is the right word. What I find noteworthy is that they didn't even try to turn the alpacas that were doomed anyway into sausages and sell them to keep the property afloat. Sounds harsh, but it is what likely could have occured if it weren't disgusting coomer troons running the place.

 

[Fetish Roulette]

Question I haven't seen answered- what is the carrying capacity of the backyard of Penny's parents' house (making allowances for the fact that we don't know square footage or climate)? The goats will survive out of sheer belligerence, but I imagine that the competition to become top alpa-kapo will be fierce, given that the stakes are lethal. Do any agriculturally inclined Kiwis know?

 

[Ghostse]

Question I haven't seen answered- what is the carrying capacity of the backyard of Penny's parents' house (making allowances for the fact that we don't know square footage or climate)? The goats will survive out of sheer belligerence, but I imagine that the competition to become top alpa-kapo will be fierce, given that the stakes are lethal. Do any agriculturally inclined Kiwis know?

Before or after its fertilized with Alpaca corpses?

 

[Billy Buudd]

They tried to make it a refuge, a haven, a piece of cultural history

It was never any more than a pure ego trip for a narcissistic man with no testicles whose pathological need to be worshiped as a “leader” made him jump on the first social trend he could see any leverage. It was never going to end any other way, but less animal suffering would make it a lot more enjoyable. Seriously fuck Phil, I hope he mouths off to the wrong person and gets put down like a dog.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Crossposting from my daily Kevin update post:

Kevin shared a photo of two of the cats watching tv (with bongs in the photo of course) [A]

Full image:

I was poking around and saw this, it kind of looks like one of those beauty extractor tools and god knows what on that tissue in the corner

And more interestingly, what appears to be the tenacious unicorn ranch’s patreon page open in another tab

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

"Oh yes Kathryn, all your favorite Autobots will be there! There's Bumblebee and Cheetor and Optimus Prime, and you'll all get to live together and play every day and nothing will ever hurt you.... Now turn around, honey..."

Um, excuse me, Cheetor was a Maximal, not an autobot. How DARE you!

Anyway, part of me suspects they just let the animals loose. Keep an eye out for reports of vagrant alpaca. Or domestic alplaca filing rape reports if it's Pepe.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

FTFY

You can still get pounds of mediocre pot for a few hundred it's just not compacted into a brick because it doesn't have to be smuggled into the US in the tire of a semi truck.

NGL living in the middle of nowhere and my only job being scanning mails and emailing the PDF every day sounds cool but being haunted by the ghosts of 100,000,000,000,000 dead alpacas is sort of where I draw the line. It would be like The Shining, yes I'm living for free and doing a very, very easy job but at what cost?

I think the alpacas’ spirits/essences could be laid to rest via rituals from any number of traditions if you’re open to such things. I can’t imagine the poor things are vengeful, just…weary.

 

[White_N]

In a distant land stands an ancient Indian alpaca cemetery and it is said that anyone who tries to disturb the dead and build something on this land will be cursed to lose their genitalia

 

[Grift Garrison]

I was poking around and saw this, it kind of looks like one of those beauty extractor tools and god knows what on that tissue in the corner
View attachment 4536465

Its a dab scraper; more weed paraphernalia.

 

[Irish Pug]

Knowing that troons are mostly just degenerate coomers I'd say it's highly probable that one of them fucked an alpaca ? Do we have any evidence of this?

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Knowing that troons are mostly just degenerate coomers I'd say it's highly probable that one of them fucked an alpaca ? Do we have any evidence of this?

We do not, though none of us would be surprised if it turned out to be true. Alpaca-fucking is a baseless accusation, unlike the mass alpaca graves (of which we have both evidence and a confession).

 

[Sneed Weed]

For all the pictures they took of Pepe, he fast became just another casualty of this failed social project. Times must be tough when Penny can't even afford to bring his "favorite" along and let him live out the rest of his days having consent accidents with the few Alpaca left.

Godspeed wherever you are Pepe the rape Vicuna

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

For all the pictures they took of Pepe, he fast became just another casualty of this failed social project. Times must be tough when Penny can't even afford to bring his "favorite" along and let him live out the rest of his days having consent accidents with the few Alpaca left.

Godspeed wherever you are Pepe the rape Vicuna
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You just reminded me when José “fuck you mom it ent a phase” Bean was lamenting having to Google how to repair an alpacas prolapsed “raw beef burger” vag and live tweeting him learning that alpacas reproduce by puncturing the womb with their rape dagger dicks.

Feels bad man. RIP Pepe

 

[Windows Error 98]

The most fascinating thing about Tranch politics to me is you have this complicated web of social dynamics and drama over who's fucking who and who's abusing who and who owns the lease and who's standing up for queer people and they're all vague posting about each other on social media.

And then there's Kevin, who does not give a single fuck about anything besides his transformers collection and furry fetish porn.

 

[one_time_user]

Ew, in addition to all the animals (2 legged and 4),they're smoking pot in the parent's house? I bet those parents feel like the people who live through a locust or tarantula invasion.

 

[BallBuster II]

Ew, in addition to all the animals (2 legged and 4),they're smoking pot in the parent's house? I bet those parents feel like the people who live through a locust or tarantula invasion.

Locust are a plague that pretty much devour all the resources in front of them and move on, so it is a fitting analogy for these sub humans.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

RIP to all the Alpacas lost, and to all the ones they're about to lose.

Seriously guys, you really should have just grown fucking plants. Rhubarbs are easy as hell to grow indoors.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

The most fascinating thing about Tranch politics to me is you have this complicated web of social dynamics and drama over who's fucking who and who's abusing who and who owns the lease and who's standing up for queer people and they're all vague posting about each other on social media.

And then there's Kevin, who does not give a single fuck about anything besides his transformers collection and furry fetish porn.

The beauty of Kevryn is that, long after his days of formal education are over, he's still the kid in special ed. He's the sped's sped, the tard's tard, living the dream in a short bus of his mind.

Tranchers outside shooting scary BANG-NOISE-THINGs? Kevryn's inside with a stuffy hugged tight to his greasy precancerous moobs, soothing himself by talking nonsense on Twitter and pretending he's having orgasms. "Oh goddess, I'm such a dumb bimbo slut whore", he coos to himself. And of course, Phil and the other tranchers enable and encourage it.

But hey, look at me, being a neurotypical chud and saying hurtful things about poor Kevvie. If nothing else, I should be kind and remember "It takes a village to raise an idiot."

 

[AfghanBlue]

Thanks for sharing this very cute fun fact.

Palate cleanser I found on YouTube for anyone else who could use one in these extremely grim times:
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Foxes are the same- there some good videoes on YouTube of people catching them sneaking into their gardens to play on the trampoline

 

[Sweeter and Savoury]

I will admit I'm somewhat disappointed in how quietly the TURd collapsed

I had good money on a one of these retards shooting someone.

Fucking Tranny's can't even do that right. Just whimper and run home to Mommy, what a bunch of faggots.