Personal Lolcows: Tumblr Edition - A website like Tumblr tends to breed exceptional individuals

[LazarusOwenhart]

Is she on tumblr?

Not that I can find (I was looking and writing this at the same time), which is a shame as she's a mess. Like I said that's as close as I can get for now but I'll edit this post if I ever find an account for her because knowing her personality she MUST be in there somewhere.

 

[Rilakkuma]

Closest I can get to a valid contribution is a girl I went to school with who used to eat dog biscuits. She'd bring a bag of them in her pocket and sneak them into her mouth all day. The teachers knew what she was up to and tried to tell her parents she had issues but after her mum had a very loud and extremely public outburst about it one parents evening they gave up and just let her eat the damn things. Everybody thought she was hilarious. Once we left school she gave up dog biscuits and began consuming epic amounts of cock from a variety of sources. I'm reasonably sure that at least 25/30% of people who used to laugh at her busted their first nut in her mouth.
*disclaimer* I was not one of them but I'm reliably informed that it was worth it as years of chewing rock hard dog biscuits had given her smooth teeth and mouth muscles that could suck a football through a length of surgical tubing.

Is this Vade

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

I met a girl once who didn't eat any meat. She ate mostly weird salads with legumes in them and bizarre stuff like tofu and bricks made out of soy beans.

I asked her why she couldn't just eat meat like a normal person and she said something about factory farming being cruel or whatever. I don't know if she had a tumblr or not, looking back on it I really wish I'd asked her.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Damegreywulf.tumblr.com/

Why is this SJW not banned yet??
I need to know. I can't believe I once looked up to this stoner cat lady....it/man/xin/cat girl kin...fml.

 

[Juscum]

Damegreywulf.tumblr.com/

Why is this SJW not banned yet??
I need to know. I can't believe I once looked up to this stoner cat lady....it/man/xin/cat girl kin...fml.

She has a thread, dude.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

She has a thread, dude.

I know. I read all of it before joining.
She hates egalitatians anti-feminists. Lol wow.

 

[Hanamura]

My personal lolcow is this guy I used to be close friends with. We were in the same relatively obscure anime fandom- I won't name it because it's way too powerlevel
He started getting into kinshit and that should've been a warning sign but I still kept being friends with him. Then came his "alters" who also happened to be characters from that fucking anime.
We had a falling out eventually when he got crazy jealous of me making friends that weren't him and self-harmed over it, I cut him out of my life, blocked him on everything, and he started whining and talking about how he couldn't live a life without me and how he was starving himself in an attempt to guilt trip me
Proceeded to pester me for around 2 years with shit tons of alts before finally dropping it.

Present day, he's obsessed with JJBA and all his "alters" minus like 1 are all JJBA characters now and gets into near daily fights with an equally funny lolcow, his ex, who claims that he's a rapist sexual abuser and shit despite having no proof of it. Tard fights are the best fights imo

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I think that everyone is confusing that this thread is specifically for tumblrcows you know and not cows you know

 

[Absinthe]

One personal lolcow of mine is this 16-year-old "nonbinary female" who constantly starts slapfights (and I mean CONSTANTLY). For example, she started going off on this white kid for being kin with a character from Evangelion because that's apparently racist for some reason? She constantly complains about white people and claims all kinds of ridiculous stuff. Recently she claimed that it was morally wrong to report an underage friend of hers for making porn of themselves which they posted to tumblr. I first started following the kid because I wanted some laughs, but now I'm genuinely worried about her. I mean, if she gets this worked up about pointless stuff on the internet, how's she gonna function in the real world.

 

[RP 520]

The first SJW I've ever met IRL.

This person, she recovered from an eating disorder (which she actually deserves credit for doing) but apparently in the process turned into a conceited SJW (redundant I know) that identifies herself through her disorders and ideology, which is a totalitarian socialist+feminazi. Also she recovered from this eating disorder in 2012-2013, yet she still talks about it as if she just got out of treatment yesterday.
http://ledreign.tumblr.com/

*Billy May's Voice* BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Her personal blog and twitter really drive the crazy home though and sum things up nicely for people that don't want to skim through her tumblr to find laughs:
http://thefeatheredelephant.blogspot.com/ Here is where she writes long rambling screeds on how oppressed she is, "how to run a successful blog"(lol), and how racist/sexist/misogynist the U.S. is etc. etc.

http://skreened.com/thefeatheredelephant She tries to sell overpriced shirts based on her blog and identity that no one wants.
https://twitter.com/LEDreign Her twitter.

"I'm so glad I was diagnosed with a disorder that I can use as an excuse for my shitty behavior!"
https://archive.is/fzX6R

 

[VJ 120]

The first SJW I've ever met IRL.

This person, she recovered from an eating disorder (which she actually deserves credit for doing) but apparently in the process turned into a conceited SJW (redundant I know) that identifies herself through her disorders and ideology, which is a totalitarian socialist+feminazi. Also she recovered from this eating disorder in 2012-2013, yet she still talks about it as if she just got out of treatment yesterday.
http://ledreign.tumblr.com/

*Billy May's Voice* BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Her personal blog and twitter really drive the crazy home though and sum things up nicely for people that don't want to skim through her tumblr to find laughs:
http://thefeatheredelephant.blogspot.com/ Here is where she writes long rambling screeds on how oppressed she is, "how to run a successful blog"(lol), and how racist/sexist/misogynist the U.S. is etc. etc.

http://skreened.com/thefeatheredelephant She tries to sell overpriced shirts based on her blog and identity that no one wants.
https://twitter.com/LEDreign Her twitter.

"I'm so glad I was diagnosed with a disorder that I can use as an excuse for my shitty behavior!"
https://archive.is/fzX6R

Jesus, does this chick blog about anything BUT oppression? Of course she's glad to have an excuse to act like a complete nutter. Otherwise she'd just be a run of the mill asshole.

Spoiler: On topic, yet another Tumblrcow

This reminds me of a previous Tumblr lolcow (as aforementioned, I have SEVERAL stories) I followed who also had an ED. I believe it was bulimia? Either way, she had some flavor of actual mental illness aside from her ED and sperged all the time about random SJW topics. She constantly blogged about random microaggressions and "problematic" shit that literally nobody on the face of the Earth cared about, not even basement-dwelling SJWs.

I remember when the movie Wreck-It Ralph came out, and she took issue with the movie because one of the minor villains (Taffetta something-or-another?) was played by Mindy Kaling, but the villain herself in-movie wasn't brown but pastel whiteish. This was apparently Actual Racism on the part of the movie directors and not just a random decision because every other character in the movie kind of vaguely had the same skin color as their voice actors. She was a white ginger living in an extremely affluent suburban area but somehow decided that she was dedicated to eradicating all racism, ever.

She was pretty fucked in the head, iirc. She was completely obsessed with her bulimia and would talk with other bulimics about how/when/what she purged and how she stayed on her exercise bike 24/7. At one point she suicide-baited by taking a whole bottle of gummy vitamins and liveblogging the results. This was enough to get her ALLEGEDLY put in inpatient treatment... I say allegedly because she had access to her phone, computer, and Tumblr constantly and made exactly zero progress. In fact, it actually got worse because she started getting unruly and asshole-ish about getting better.

One of the things she blogged about inpatient is apparently they stopped letting her be vegan and this was shitlord-y of them because they didn't check their privilege and understand that dietary choices are important to female autonomy, or some bullshit like that. Seriously. Despite clearly using veganism to manipulate people into letting her eat 200 calories a day of celery, she decided to start some sort of mini Tumblr movement to get treatment centers to check their dietary privilege. Like, what about the pro-ana Hindus and Buddhists who CAN'T eat meat?! Needless to say, I don't think that one picked up much steam.

I don't know what happened to her. Maybe someone here followed her at some point in time. I can't even recall her name although it was something oddly specific and possibly geographical, like Reno or India. She was weirdly attached to Charlie Day's character in Pacific Rim and It's Always Sunny. I kinda hope she's better and not as much of an asshole as she was... despite her problems, she was generally friendly and an okay person, just with mental issues and a desperate need for a real hobby aside from bulimia and Tumblr.

 

[Melkor]

Most of my other personal Tumblrcows are rather powerlevely, so I'll just bring up minor cows I've run into. I'm gonna give out blog urls because they don't know me so I don't have to worry about them chimping out and finding out my identity.

Recently in the BJD hobby, one tumblr user named guppykisses has been pitching a fit over someone else making doll clothes similar in design to some of the she has made in the past.

This other person (url is bjds-n-things; powerword is Reese) and guppy used to be in a Facebook group--something along the lines of BJD Collectors of Color, so I'm assuming they're both not white. It all started in the group and I don't want to make this a HUGE post, so I'll gloss over some details.

The drama began in the group itself. Guppy started pointedly accusing Reese for stealing her clothes design ideas like this one, after Reese posted in the group that she was planning on purchasing a vinyl print press (I can't remember the name of it; it starts with a C though).

After more arguing and some other people in the group pointing out that Guppy's secret blog, christinecasper, was continuing to reblog from confession blogs with her own biting commentary and frequently vagued about Reese in some of her reblogs, Reese took it to Tumblr with the post linked above and said she was done with Guppy.

Guppy decided to take the issue one step (or should I say ten thousand steps) further and started dragging out the issue more, pitching a fit and arguing with multiple people, posting private FB convos on her guppykisses blog and chimping out further.

I'll add more links once I've archived them all.

 

[RF 080]

I've met my fair share of personal cows from my rather extensive bout of tumblr use. Probably the most notable was a chick I dated a while back when I was but a wee robot: she was Russian, and super, super into masks. Like, at first I kind of just thought it was an aesthetic choice, but then I ventured on to her blog more often and found porn of the marionette from fnaf and death xiii from JJBA, and I just kind of considered it a lost cause at that point. She was also super generally sleazy because our whole deal together was on-again off-again because she refused to make any kind of commitment but was totally definitely no way at all into her best friend.

She got tangled up in the Rebornica drama and had also definitely sent nudes to a ~fifteen year old on several occasions. I still follow her, because while her art has gotten really, really good, I can't help but laugh because she spends it all on drawing porn of the Purple Guy and JJBA stands in bondage.

I also took a big stint in the Megaman fandom for roleplaying, and at this point the whole rp community is like my own dairy farm of lolcows. Highlights include a fifteen year old turning a canon character into a shitty oc and roleplaying porn with everyone and tricking a twenty-three year old woman into dating him, said twenty-three year old being autistically into one of the characters, a fully grown adult who blocked me because I asked them to tag their sketchy genderbend porn, an actually abusive adult calling dibs on people and not letting then roleplay with anyone else without threatening suicide, and another ex who ended up fiction kin and threw out suicide threats twice and week and had fifteen roleplay blogs of the same character.

Needless to say, don't date people from tumblr.

Edit: wow look at those typos

 

[PetalPinkPuppy]

The Mari thread reminded me of a group that were friends of a friend. I called them "The Genderless People" because they swore they were all non-binary and changed their pronouns weekly. I got introduced via Skype chat and they poked me to make a tumblr so I could follow them. All they ever blogged about was pronoun stuff and their drama-y polyamorous relationships with each other. I found Mari through them and also the user who swore they were Tom Hiddleson factkin (and that user knew Greasetrap and defended them during the whole Columbine-kin thing).

Geez, are all cows like rat kings?

 

[AnOminous]

Geez, are all cows like rat kings?

No. Some of them are so completely autistic they have no relationships of any kind. Rat Kings are the sort who are too dysfunctional to have friends who aren't also completely insane.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Most of my other personal Tumblrcows are rather powerlevely, so I'll just bring up minor cows I've run into. I'm gonna give out blog urls because they don't know me so I don't have to worry about them chimping out and finding out my identity.

Recently in the BJD hobby, one tumblr user named guppykisses has been pitching a fit over someone else making doll clothes similar in design to some of the she has made in the past.

This other person (url is bjds-n-things; powerword is Reese) and guppy used to be in a Facebook group--something along the lines of BJD Collectors of Color, so I'm assuming they're both not white. It all started in the group and I don't want to make this a HUGE post, so I'll gloss over some details.

The drama began in the group itself. Guppy started pointedly accusing Reese for stealing her clothes design ideas like this one, after Reese posted in the group that she was planning on purchasing a vinyl print press (I can't remember the name of it; it starts with a C though).

After more arguing and some other people in the group pointing out that Guppy's secret blog, christinecasper, was continuing to reblog from confession blogs with her own biting commentary and frequently vagued about Reese in some of her reblogs, Reese took it to Tumblr with the post linked above and said she was done with Guppy.

Guppy decided to take the issue one step (or should I say ten thousand steps) further and started dragging out the issue more, pitching a fit and arguing with multiple people, posting private FB convos on her guppykisses blog and chimping out further.

I'll add more links once I've archived them all.

Oh, I've been hearing about guppykisses on the bjdconfessions blogs. They've been SO obsessed with her recently, and I've never even heard of her before now. It's bizarre. Weren't her designs, like, really generic pastel goth stuff or something?

My new Lolcow is kind of related: the people in the bjd community who area shrieking that it's racist if you only have pale/default-bjd-colored dolls. Never mind that my two are both minorities (although not too dark- one is Chinese because the doll sculpt is supposed to be, and the other is a Native American basically mini-me-for-lols,) or that tan versions either cost way more, or don't exist... But I (and everyone else who doesn't have a tan bjd!) MUST BE WHITE SUPREMACISTS Even if we're not exactly white. Since tan resin is harder to make, you have to pay extra for those colors, and some companies don't even offer them.

It's insane.

Personally, I think it makes more sense to take the extra cash you'd pay for darker resin and donate it to a black charity, but that wouldn't make sjws happy... 8(

Spoiler: more power-leveling

(What's funny is that the rest of my doll collection- the less-expensive non-bjds- have PLENTY of obvious tan dolls. But only resin is good enough!

I guess I'm power-leveling too much, but being called racist by someone who is involved all likelihood rich and white for having cheap dolls that don't come in tan, but DO depict minority characters, just really, REALLY rubbed me the wrong way. What social justice means to me is getting constantly harassed for being poor and Indian. Those liberal harpies..! If they'd donate enough to pay for a tan bjd, I'd buy one in a heartbeat. But I'm like broke, and the ones I got were pretty much the cheapest bjd around. I added a donate button to the side of my blog just for lols; I'll laugh like crazy if a complainer actually donates something though. XD

 

[Scampers]

I have one. I'll try to keep what I remember.

This person...let's call them "Ramona"? Ramona. Now Ramona was your run of the mill tumblr person, spoke in memes, had a boatload of self-dxed mental/physical disorders, many tales of abuse they had faced, etc. They also were an artist, and I have to admit, I did like their art a lot. It wasn't until later I had learned this person had quite the track history with being, well, terrible.

Some things to note:

- They had/claimed to had DID. They often would do things like having one of their system members "front" (take control of the body) and be creepy/sexual with people in their friend chat, some which were sex abuse survivors. This alternate member also posted unsolicited nudes of themselves in the chat, some of the chat members also being minors.

- Briefly online dated a mentally ill teenager while being 18+. While she was 16 and was of age in the UK, Ramona was American and tried encouraging her to abandon everything there and come live with her, with little to no regard of the roommates that were housing Ramona. This girl eventually had a falling out, and was labeled an "abuser" by Ramona, despite the clear power imbalance here.

- Would take any slight sign of illness to the extreme. For example, it's not too uncommon for one to get a sore throat. But when it happens to Ramona, they go off the handle, claiming it might be something worse and asking people to pool in their tumblr dollars to help them see a doctor.

- Would also lie about conditions, making their claims of DID/other mental illnesses less credible. This person has pooled in money for a back brace, an MRI, was going to post about "going blind" (hearsay from a source but not gonna lie but this is me totally believing it) and most recently has been "homeless" (more on that later) and living off Tumblr dollars. Many things which people had donated towards (brace, or MRI) were never seen to fruition.

- While being homeless, they have no qualms wasting money on Second Life avatars or some random pet site crap. While these places do hold the potential for earning beer money, any of that beer money is going back into those sites. For someone with zero income outside of the very few art commissions, they SOMEHOW manage to get by being homeless, jobless, and at least paying off student loans.

- Before their bout of homelessness, they were living with some other Tumblr people. They got kicked out for being a manipulative shit (in short, one of them was autistic, so Ramona would do things that made person have a meltdown, and then Ramona would claim to have their PTSD triggered by the yelling and calling person "abusive"). Person's mom paid for Ramona to live in a hotel for a week, Ramona whined about being homeless the whole time until the next sap came along.

- While living in the hotel (and somehow being able to afford $80/day after that initial week + food), Ramona also somehow got miraculously medically diagnosed! They had a psych evaluation and the shrink said yep yep, you have all the things you coincidentally self-dxed yourself with. For those curious, Ramona claimed to got diagnosed with DID after one evaluation when the average person with DID usually goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with other disorders like Bipolar for years, even decades. But Ramona is just that GOSH DARN special.

- Do I need to mention that Ramona claims anyone they have a falling out with is abusive. It's all their fault, and they're manipulative, and I don't know why this keeps happening but everyone around me is abusive but me.

This person was a handful that I just had to back away from and just gaze from the distance. Last I know of them is they are living in a person's RV for an indefinite period of time. I want to believe Ramona seriously can't get a job because of mental illnesses or physical disability, but if there's anything, it's been taken to the extreme. I really think instead that Ramona is a direct product of the worst thing that can happen to people who get too swept into Tumblr: they aren't special or remarkable in any way, so if they keep pretending they are, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. All that quirky Tumblrism and calling out "abusers" (people who were ironically abused by Ramona) has led them to rock bottom.

 

[yummy hand sanitizer]

https://saphirafoxgirlspost.tumblr.com/ ( http://archive.is/bCb2q )

Meet Saphira. A very weird roleplay blog. She's supposedly in her twenties but throws tantrums for asspats like a little kid. Her character is, well...

Long ago, in a Japanese Temple, there lived a human priestess.
One day, a male kitsune in a human disguise, met the priestess. He saw that she was beautiful. He seduced the priestess and eventually married her.
The High Kitsune, upon hearing of this, were angered. And when their baby was born, a female kitsune, the High Kitsune charged the females of the High Kitsune to kidnap the baby.
They kept the baby for 8 years and called her Saphira. The other kitsune were cruel to her, never caring for she was born of a human, a half bred kitsune. When Saphira was 8 years old she ran away from the kitsune, and happened upon a cabin, where she now calls it home.
This is the RP blog of that girl

She roleplays smut a lot. Her character is almost always either 1) Pregnant, 2) Giving birth to a litter, or 3) In the process of getting knocked up.

Her writing style is very weird; she does stuff like randomly meowing (even though she's part fox and part human) and "blushing in red".

If she's called out on anything, whether it's not trimming her posts, not tagging things NSFW, not putting explicit sex behind a readmore, or just general absurdity she will throw a tantrum, self-deprecate, and beg for asspats from her smutbuddies.

There's even a callout blog for her; http://stop-saphirafoxgirl.tumblr.com/ ( http://archive.is/WSr45 ) with some information on people who used to roleplay with her in the past.

(Note: I'm only following her because she followed me first and I thought it'd be good for a laugh.)

 

[Nadeko]

http://usuallyalonebutalwaysdepressed.tumblr.com/tagged/my mom yelled at me

My personal tumblr lolcow is this "mentally ill" lesbian "non binary" thing. They constantly post about how they want to die and how they wish their mom would die because she told her to take a shower. People send her ask saying that she's essentially a cunt, and then she replies with the standard "yeah im a bitch and im proud" tumblr esque answer. She post constant things about cutting herself and how other girls need to back off her boyfriend. Maybe I'm just too judgmental, but she seems pretty edgy and I get a good laugh at some of her post

 

[lesboslut69]

I did my time in the roleplay side of tumblr, and that side of tumblr just seemed to attract tumblr lolcows in droves. I could tell any number of stories, but the one I'm going to tell you about is the one that sticks out in my mind because of its pure bizarreness.

Spoiler: spoilered because long

One such lolcow was this guy from England in his early twenties who roleplayed a veritable host of different characters, and while he wasn't all that good at actual writing, his illustrated roleplays were somewhat entertaining, so I followed him, and left a positive comment on one of his drawings. We started roleplaying on a casual level, and while his writing wasn't amazing,we had some interesting plots, etc. Then I made the mistake of adding him on Skype. He responded by immediately latching onto one of my characters, sending me messages 24/7. If I went over a day without roleplaying with him, he would send me passive aggressive messages on Skype, or write messages on his main roleplay blog (intended for in character interactions, this was not a personal blog) in which he threatened to harm himself if I didn't respond to his roleplays within a day. The first time I saw this, I instantly messaged him on Skype, worried for his safety. He responded by blaming it on me: I found out later that he hadn't even intended to harm himself, nor was he suicidal: he just wanted me to respond to our roleplays. He was constantly wanting me to join his streams (even though we had very little besides roleplaying in common), where he would draw subpar chibi art of his original characters, which were all inspired by his extensive collection of ball jointed dolls, which he wanted to fuck. If I didn't join these streams, he would write passive aggressive messages in which he implied he would overdose or harm himself if I didn't come. Keep in mind, this guy didn't actually do these things. If I took these claims seriously, he would instantly tell me that he was fine, he just wanted me to respond to roleplays/join his streams, etc. Naturally, I pulled back contact little by little, until I was able to cut ties completely. He's still at all his old urls, still getting angry if his favorite roleplay partners don't respond to him within a day.