TC-P
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2020
That would make a perfect end of book twist.
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
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- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
No one is ever not going to convince me she doesn't write every damn one of these herself.
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2016
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
Wow. That was an awful update. Chin balls look good. 6 protein. Idk why that makes me so mad. Eyebrows looking haggard as ever. Still fat and annoying. Trying to be funny, and corky, fails. Still eating a shit load of food. Eats a half tub of guacamole in a day.
Why tf does she drink bottled water?! She looks awful and it’s funny.
Why tf does she drink bottled water?! She looks awful and it’s funny.
BBJ_4_Ever
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2022
We need a Lent calendar of medieval ingredients ALR must use to make her meals and exercise for 40 days on camera. This video is terrible, but funny when Rarity couldn't stand her breath.
Mekahineyho
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Is she purposely trying to kill her channel off?
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So...breath smells like a park toilet in mid-July after _______company picnic's been there and the liquor's flowing.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Plot Summary with Commentary. So basically... this video is likely just bullshit phase 1 false dieting nonsense, take 37. Alright, let's go!
TL;DR: Supposed date is Wednesday February 22 (yesterday). NO WEIGHT LOSS SINCE LAST WEEK. Amber completed a 'water goal' of drinking 64oz in one day. Typical Phase 1 "What I ate today", entirely Food-Centric video. Amber makes slop. Amber shows her o-face while eating slop. Amber talks about slop. Amber does grocery haul to show perfectly decent food that will be turned into slop. Rarity says hi in the last 5 seconds (edit: last 5 minutes, not seconds), but it's not worth watching just to see her. No Jade. Nothing has changed - a full '360', as Amber would say.
"Hey Guize!" Amber's doing her makeup. Amber cut her face shaving. I'm joking - she didn't say how she did it, but she spends the next few minutes bitching about hangnails and papercuts. Though seriously, cuts around the mouth like that are usually caused by either shaving... or eating too many crisps. Place your bets.
YouTube hasn't been her top priority - thanks, Captain Obvious. Amber claims that YouTube has ALWAYS been her top priority, held above everything else - which makes you wonder how she's SURVIVED this long putting even LESS effort into every other aspect of her life than she does with her YouTube account.
Amber's afraid to be herself and say/do the wrong things, but it's time to be herself. Bitch, we watched you THROW A KITTEN. You aren't 'afraid' of being yourself - you're afraid of the BACKLASH from being your normal shitty self.
Two appointments 'today' (no info given).
WEIGHT UPDATE - Amber hasn't lost any more weight. Wow, Amber: I'm so glad that everything in your head about 'overeating' has finally 'clicked' as you said, and you now have the self-control required to .... still eat 4000 calories per day to maintain 500lbs! Is this what Amber would call a 'non-scale' victory?
"Who hits a plateau at over 500 lbs? I do!! I doo-ooh-ooh-ooh!!" I'm sure it's totes okay. I mean, you did lose that 1 POUND that you were supposed to.
Holy shit, so before this, she made a community post talking about 'people commenting on her channel' that she didn't give anything to Wipey for Valentine's Day (something I joked about in my last not-a-reeeecap-plot-summary). Now she's talking about 'people commenting on her channel' about how she shouldn't take credit for steps that the doctor is doing, such as faxing paperwork (something I also joked about in my plot summary). But NAH, Amber doesn't read here...
OF COURSE Amber hasn't been 'counting proteins' or counting calories like her doctors have told her. But she has been 'watching her portions' - which is hard to believe as she's maintaining over 500lbs. Maybe by watching she means that she stares as her massive portions intensely while hoovering it all up to make sure she gets it all. NOW Amber thinks it's time to start measuring. She's made herself a meal plan - didn't she see a dietician that told her what and how much to eat? Amber has decided that her limit is 1600 calories/day. Again, didn't they give her a limit? It's funny how it's exactly the same calorie limit as the one she would constantly set for herself through the years.
"People are confused about...." People are confused because you talk out of your shelf and because absolutely nothing in the Amberverse has any consistency. LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!
ANOTHER FOOD HAUL COMING UP IN THIS VIDEO because Amber thinks it will be exciting. Amber admits that she's been 'allowing herself' all of the same foods that she does every time she 'diets'. Pudding cups, salami, Yasso bars, etc. She says that she's sure she eats 1600 calories on 'some days'... Yeah, and then you eat 6000 calories the next day to compensate (as would be necessary to maintain 500+lbs). None of this is new.
Amber is going to traumatize herself by switching to low-fat melk.
GROCERY HAUL: Ground turkey, chicken wings, chicken tenderloins, green apples, mandarins, broccoli, scallions, carrots, cauliflower, salsa, guac, cottage cheese, onions, whole wheat bread, quinoa. Again, all of the same foods she's been eating to maintain 500lbs.
-- MEAL 1 --
"200 calorie meal". Currently not hungry, but she HAS TO DO THIS. Premier Protein chocolate peanut butter shake (160cal) and mandarin orange (40cal). 30 grams of protein. Goal is to drink 64oz of water per day. Amber swears she's gonna stop drinking soda - this time it's for reelz!
Amber's mentulz are kinda low. She doesn't feel like doing it and craves having sub sandwiches delivered.
-- MEAL 2 --
"408 calorie meal". 37 protein. Bowl of slop. "Damn this looks like a lot of food" - because it is - it's larger than the size of the meals they want you to eat in a sitting. Broccoli, guac, quinoa, onion, ground turkey, salsa, taco seasoning, garlic salt. Fake food-gasm while she eats the slop. Amber promises that the guac isn't out of place.... You put olives and pickled artichoke hearts in SOUP - your tastebuds can't be trusted. Amber goes into some long bullshit about broccoli stems, as well as a 'water update'.
For those keeping track, this is the same slop recipe she was making as a staple during her 2019 losing weight journey before going to the WLS and following his diet for 3 hours.
-- MEAL 3 --
"Toast guac aaaaayyyyyg situation" with pepper and more garlic salt, and some carrots. 209 calories total. Again, she makes us watch her eat and fakes another food-gasm. Going for that feeder coin.
Amber says she's afraid of avocado. She tells the story about how the 'stupid circle' caused her to 'gush blood' - and then shows the world's tiniest scar on her palm. Amber claimed she saw 'tendons' in her hand. It was probably just fucking FAT oozing from your hand with how shallow the poke was. The scar doesn't even look like it was stitched - I guess she couldn't get stitches due to her choosing to EAT instead ("- but I have to EAT FIRST!!"). She knows how to open an avocado now, but that doesn't take the fear away. What a fucking waste of oxygen. I guess she's oblivious to the fact that many people get injured at work or home (like deep cuts/avulsions/partial or complete digit amputations), and then have to go back and do the same tasks that injured them once they've healed.
Water update - I don't care...... AUGH! Okay, fine. She drank 2 bottles and still has 2 to go. She didn't like drinking water in high school, but likes it now. In fact, she's not really craving soda - just like she claims to not be craving soda EVERY TIME she decides she's not going to drink it anymore. She still has a few in the fridge that she didn't dump down the sink, so you KNOW she'll be back to drinking soda soon.
-- MEAL 4 --
Next meal is DOG FOOD. Oh wait, no, it's 'leftovers'. I guess it's the extra from the bowl of slop she had from meal 2. This time she's having it with cauliflower. 408 calories. She's going to add tobasco because it tastes like shit. Makes us watch her eat AGAIN. OOOH, WEIRD JUMPCUT INSTEAD OF FOOD-GASM. Maybe she gagged and had to cut it out.
Fitbit is charging so it'll be ready to rumble. 4000 steps/day goal, which she hit today. Shows the screen: 4,097 steps, 1.68 miles, 4,886 calories - and that's not even her wearing the fitbit all day. That calorie measurement should help even the most chromosomally-challenged ambaby realize that Amber's epiphany and 'eating normal portions' is absolute bullshit. How does she burn almost 5000 calories per day (which is equivalent to Erik the Electric's caloric expenditure when he's training for Iron Man and Powerlifting competitions AT THE SAME TIME), eat cleanly, yet still can't get below 500lbs? You know, unless she's still eating MASSIVE AMOUNTS of food like always.
-- MEAL 5 --
Amber's not hungry, but she knows she should eat. The 3 water bottles have slowed her down, but she's still going to power through. She has 375 calories left, but is only going to eat 166... while not being hungry. In order words, she's still her usual fucked-in-the-head self who still can't leave the calories she feels entitled to on the table. Anyway, 76 calories of olives, cottage cheese with pepper (90 calories). 1391 calories today (if she measured and counted correctly, which to this date she never has), and 129 grams of protein. The protein is probably doing more to slow her pigging out than the 1.5L of water. And it's best to not think about the amount of methane she'll be producing from eating that much protein when her body is used to just refined carbs and fats.
Also note: Amber's Lose It app showed the date as Wednesday February 22nd.
Amber mixes the olives and cottage cheese together so she can slam it down faster, then moans like a porn star while eating it.
Amber claims that she used the cubii today for the first time since hurting her ankle, and now her legs hurt. "She healed". Amber hopes that (the feeders) enjoyed this type of video. Amber's cottage cheese and olive slop is all runny and drippy from the brine - okay, this is absolutely digusting. Rarity squeeks, then bails when she smells the concoction.
YouTube hasn't been her top priority - thanks, Captain Obvious. Amber claims that YouTube has ALWAYS been her top priority, held above everything else - which makes you wonder how she's SURVIVED this long putting even LESS effort into every other aspect of her life than she does with her YouTube account.
Amber's afraid to be herself and say/do the wrong things, but it's time to be herself. Bitch, we watched you THROW A KITTEN. You aren't 'afraid' of being yourself - you're afraid of the BACKLASH from being your normal shitty self.
Two appointments 'today' (no info given).
WEIGHT UPDATE - Amber hasn't lost any more weight. Wow, Amber: I'm so glad that everything in your head about 'overeating' has finally 'clicked' as you said, and you now have the self-control required to .... still eat 4000 calories per day to maintain 500lbs! Is this what Amber would call a 'non-scale' victory?
"Who hits a plateau at over 500 lbs? I do!! I doo-ooh-ooh-ooh!!" I'm sure it's totes okay. I mean, you did lose that 1 POUND that you were supposed to.
Holy shit, so before this, she made a community post talking about 'people commenting on her channel' that she didn't give anything to Wipey for Valentine's Day (something I joked about in my last not-a-reeeecap-plot-summary). Now she's talking about 'people commenting on her channel' about how she shouldn't take credit for steps that the doctor is doing, such as faxing paperwork (something I also joked about in my plot summary). But NAH, Amber doesn't read here...
OF COURSE Amber hasn't been 'counting proteins' or counting calories like her doctors have told her. But she has been 'watching her portions' - which is hard to believe as she's maintaining over 500lbs. Maybe by watching she means that she stares as her massive portions intensely while hoovering it all up to make sure she gets it all. NOW Amber thinks it's time to start measuring. She's made herself a meal plan - didn't she see a dietician that told her what and how much to eat? Amber has decided that her limit is 1600 calories/day. Again, didn't they give her a limit? It's funny how it's exactly the same calorie limit as the one she would constantly set for herself through the years.
"People are confused about...." People are confused because you talk out of your shelf and because absolutely nothing in the Amberverse has any consistency. LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!
ANOTHER FOOD HAUL COMING UP IN THIS VIDEO because Amber thinks it will be exciting. Amber admits that she's been 'allowing herself' all of the same foods that she does every time she 'diets'. Pudding cups, salami, Yasso bars, etc. She says that she's sure she eats 1600 calories on 'some days'... Yeah, and then you eat 6000 calories the next day to compensate (as would be necessary to maintain 500+lbs). None of this is new.
Amber is going to traumatize herself by switching to low-fat melk.
GROCERY HAUL: Ground turkey, chicken wings, chicken tenderloins, green apples, mandarins, broccoli, scallions, carrots, cauliflower, salsa, guac, cottage cheese, onions, whole wheat bread, quinoa. Again, all of the same foods she's been eating to maintain 500lbs.
-- MEAL 1 --
"200 calorie meal". Currently not hungry, but she HAS TO DO THIS. Premier Protein chocolate peanut butter shake (160cal) and mandarin orange (40cal). 30 grams of protein. Goal is to drink 64oz of water per day. Amber swears she's gonna stop drinking soda - this time it's for reelz!
Amber's mentulz are kinda low. She doesn't feel like doing it and craves having sub sandwiches delivered.
-- MEAL 2 --
"408 calorie meal". 37 protein. Bowl of slop. "Damn this looks like a lot of food" - because it is - it's larger than the size of the meals they want you to eat in a sitting. Broccoli, guac, quinoa, onion, ground turkey, salsa, taco seasoning, garlic salt. Fake food-gasm while she eats the slop. Amber promises that the guac isn't out of place.... You put olives and pickled artichoke hearts in SOUP - your tastebuds can't be trusted. Amber goes into some long bullshit about broccoli stems, as well as a 'water update'.
For those keeping track, this is the same slop recipe she was making as a staple during her 2019 losing weight journey before going to the WLS and following his diet for 3 hours.
-- MEAL 3 --
"Toast guac aaaaayyyyyg situation" with pepper and more garlic salt, and some carrots. 209 calories total. Again, she makes us watch her eat and fakes another food-gasm. Going for that feeder coin.
Amber says she's afraid of avocado. She tells the story about how the 'stupid circle' caused her to 'gush blood' - and then shows the world's tiniest scar on her palm. Amber claimed she saw 'tendons' in her hand. It was probably just fucking FAT oozing from your hand with how shallow the poke was. The scar doesn't even look like it was stitched - I guess she couldn't get stitches due to her choosing to EAT instead ("- but I have to EAT FIRST!!"). She knows how to open an avocado now, but that doesn't take the fear away. What a fucking waste of oxygen. I guess she's oblivious to the fact that many people get injured at work or home (like deep cuts/avulsions/partial or complete digit amputations), and then have to go back and do the same tasks that injured them once they've healed.
Water update - I don't care...... AUGH! Okay, fine. She drank 2 bottles and still has 2 to go. She didn't like drinking water in high school, but likes it now. In fact, she's not really craving soda - just like she claims to not be craving soda EVERY TIME she decides she's not going to drink it anymore. She still has a few in the fridge that she didn't dump down the sink, so you KNOW she'll be back to drinking soda soon.
-- MEAL 4 --
Next meal is DOG FOOD. Oh wait, no, it's 'leftovers'. I guess it's the extra from the bowl of slop she had from meal 2. This time she's having it with cauliflower. 408 calories. She's going to add tobasco because it tastes like shit. Makes us watch her eat AGAIN. OOOH, WEIRD JUMPCUT INSTEAD OF FOOD-GASM. Maybe she gagged and had to cut it out.
Fitbit is charging so it'll be ready to rumble. 4000 steps/day goal, which she hit today. Shows the screen: 4,097 steps, 1.68 miles, 4,886 calories - and that's not even her wearing the fitbit all day. That calorie measurement should help even the most chromosomally-challenged ambaby realize that Amber's epiphany and 'eating normal portions' is absolute bullshit. How does she burn almost 5000 calories per day (which is equivalent to Erik the Electric's caloric expenditure when he's training for Iron Man and Powerlifting competitions AT THE SAME TIME), eat cleanly, yet still can't get below 500lbs? You know, unless she's still eating MASSIVE AMOUNTS of food like always.
-- MEAL 5 --
Amber's not hungry, but she knows she should eat. The 3 water bottles have slowed her down, but she's still going to power through. She has 375 calories left, but is only going to eat 166... while not being hungry. In order words, she's still her usual fucked-in-the-head self who still can't leave the calories she feels entitled to on the table. Anyway, 76 calories of olives, cottage cheese with pepper (90 calories). 1391 calories today (if she measured and counted correctly, which to this date she never has), and 129 grams of protein. The protein is probably doing more to slow her pigging out than the 1.5L of water. And it's best to not think about the amount of methane she'll be producing from eating that much protein when her body is used to just refined carbs and fats.
Also note: Amber's Lose It app showed the date as Wednesday February 22nd.
Amber mixes the olives and cottage cheese together so she can slam it down faster, then moans like a porn star while eating it.
Amber claims that she used the cubii today for the first time since hurting her ankle, and now her legs hurt. "She healed". Amber hopes that (the feeders) enjoyed this type of video. Amber's cottage cheese and olive slop is all runny and drippy from the brine - okay, this is absolutely digusting. Rarity squeeks, then bails when she smells the concoction.
TL;DR: Supposed date is Wednesday February 22 (yesterday). NO WEIGHT LOSS SINCE LAST WEEK. Amber completed a 'water goal' of drinking 64oz in one day. Typical Phase 1 "What I ate today", entirely Food-Centric video. Amber makes slop. Amber shows her o-face while eating slop. Amber talks about slop. Amber does grocery haul to show perfectly decent food that will be turned into slop. Rarity says hi in the last 5 seconds (edit: last 5 minutes, not seconds), but it's not worth watching just to see her. No Jade. Nothing has changed - a full '360', as Amber would say.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
OMFG. Something for me to do while babysitting users! Got a little antsy not recapping that last one, but lezbereal, that shit was boring af and was like stitched together bit and pieces of shit she's said over and over and over and over and over......I'm sure this one will be as well, but it's like that movie you've seen a zillion times that you have to watch when it comes on.
DegenerativeSociety
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 22, 2022
why is she drinking ensure protein? I thought protein shakes are for people trying to gain weight or muscle...
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2019
Amber is going to traumatize herself by switching to low-fat melk.
Can't quote, but isn't this what was her whole fucking trauma in Crystal era when all she was allowed is 2% low fat?
Geez... maybe the people THAT WERE ACTUALLY TRYING to help this fat fuck had a clue?
Fucking cunt should be thanking them. But no, that part of the Amberverse hasn't changed one iota now that Phat Qween is implementing this restriction in her own massive consumption?
The hypocrisy....the horror... the horror.
Can't quote, but isn't this what was her whole fucking trauma in Crystal era when all she was allowed is 2% low fat?
Geez... maybe the people THAT WERE ACTUALLY TRYING to help this fat fuck had a clue?
Fucking cunt should be thanking them. But no, that part of the Amberverse hasn't changed one iota now that Phat Qween is implementing this restriction in her own massive consumption?
The hypocrisy....the horror... the horror.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
I remember the last time I had those...
It was after orthodontic surgery and I couldn't masticate solid foods yet. They work well as meal replacements.
Otherwise, you're right. The Ensure website actually states that they should be drank by those who want to balance their nutrition (aka: you don't get enough protein because you hoover nothing but cereal all day or something), those who want to maintain their weight (a la meal replacements circa Slim Fast) and those who are experiencing involuntary weight loss.
aka: Not Hamber.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
According to Amber (or at least the particular iteration of this story that I heard), it was when she was 11 years old and 290lbs while living in the girls foster care group home. She was being her cunty self and was trying to get her audience to infer that Amber eating some lower calorie food options was abusive as "no 11 year old should be put on a diet". You know, while ignoring the fact that if she was 290lbs, she would have weighed about 3 times more than any 11 year old should ever weigh. In the most recent iteration (according to Amber), Krystal nor her parents had any influence on Amber's weight, and Amber lost that 89lbs entirely on her own due to Amber's self-discipline and willpower allowing her to maintain an extremely low calorie intake (*cough cough BULLSHIT*). But yeah, doesn't change your point about Amber being a massive cunt (figuratively and litterally).
Oh yeah, and in today's video, she complained that she got called out for taking credit for the part of the WLS ToDo List where her doctor had to send the referral letter and lab results to the weight loss surgeon. So she doubled down and claimed that she had to PICK UP PHYSICAL COPIES of her lab work from her doctor, and HAND DELIVER them to the surgeon, along with the referral letter. So, she expects to convince her viewers that somehow medical facilities in the US lack internet and are unable to send documents DIGITALLY? Particularily between doctors who would need to be in communication regarding the medical procedure the patient is trying to get? Especially when she's never had to physically transport test results before (such as all the tests in the ER from her dangleen lung that her PCP was able to view digitally).
The whole video was gross - yet another food food food food food food food FOOD food vlog. Same excuses, same bullshit. Same blaming the audience for her not being able to be herself and bitching about all the mean comments and hoping that it will eventually change. Do you feel like total retards yet, surrender monkeys? I'm surprised she didn't give the excuse that she had to go back to drinking soda because of her WATER BRASH. Or that her lipedema was causing her weight to plateau despite her (claimed) 1600 cal/day diet.
They also weren't Ensure; Amber's drink was a 'Premier Protein'. Those products aren't really vitamin-enriched to be meal replacements like the Ensure ones are; they're just whey protein, flavouring, and sugar alcohols. They also make protein bars that are a little better macro-wise than eating something like a snickers.
Ayygs and Layygs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2021
I know this bitch knows nutrition better than everyone, but that "single serving" of guacamole looks more like 2 or 3. The quinoa looked like it was more as well. But hey what do I know?
But whines about not being taken care of and worrying about where her next meal was. Those emaciated kids don't understand real pain.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
I like Premier Protein drinks and I hate that Amber likes something that I use. They're 180 calories with 30 grams of protein, perfect for days when I just want to eat candy and chips. As an adult I can do that, but I am aware of the consequences of doing it. Also good for taking with me to conventions so my body thinks I've had real food instead of junk and I'm not as tempted to go out for greaseburgers at 2am.
Sometimes when I've seen a bit of an Amber video I think back to what I was doing at her age. Sitting around trying to convince strangers online that I drink water surely was not it.
Rarity was the true star of the show with the way she recoiled in absolute disgust after sniffing Amber's face. Very telling.
Sometimes when I've seen a bit of an Amber video I think back to what I was doing at her age. Sitting around trying to convince strangers online that I drink water surely was not it.
Rarity was the true star of the show with the way she recoiled in absolute disgust after sniffing Amber's face. Very telling.
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2021
Amber is always having dental issues. I wouldnt put it past her to freak out that shes "not getteeen enough proteen" and will hoover up the sugary tasty runny milkshake that is ensure. Amber will always have an excuse for drinking meal replacement or protien shakes because of *insert problem solved with protien here*. Bitch is never fool.
Never amber, but when the choices narrow down to just eating less food something always comes up and shes got one in her fat hand. Lets do a taste test yall.
DegenerativeSociety
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 22, 2022
I seemed to have confused everyone and myself about the protein shake. She’s drinking Premier Protein - not Ensure. They look similar. Anyways, I’m not a nutritionist but I think Hamberlynn’s body will do fine if she is a little deficient in the protein area - maybe even burn fat.
catcult_empress
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2022
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS!!! SHE SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMING PROTEIN SHAKES!!!!!!
"something always comes up"..... yeah the memories of orange chicken lmao
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
The diet for WLS and post op is generally keto-leaning.