Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
The Krishnas used to do something like this too, you could literally just show up at the end of their cult recruitment and get a free really delicious vegetarian meal. It was better than the restaurants in the area.
They still have that downtown. Done it a couple times but they get wise to you showing up late and gently remind you that the "fee" for the meal is listening to them sperg about Krishna.

He's only 56? He looks so much worse than all my family who are in their 60s, hell he looks worse than some of the morbidly obese people I've had to deal with at work (I'm talking Fatties from the Dredd comics levels of fat).
You can only abuse your body so long before it gives out. And Jagoff has been abusing his body for a long long LONG time. Four strokes at his age? Plus the beetus, the torn ligaments and everything else? It's a wonder he's still alive at this point.
 
They still have that downtown. Done it a couple times but they get wise to you showing up late and gently remind you that the "fee" for the meal is listening to them sperg about Krishna.
I see I'm not the only person who picked up on this life hack. It was actually a Krishna who turned me onto it, someone you would not have noticed as one, because he was otherwise a straitlaced government worker. They definitely wanted me to join. I definitely didn't. But I never met a mean or nasty Krishna, unlike a lot of other cults where that's the norm.
 
How would Jack not going home even work? Would they complete the sale and just not pick him up at check-out time?

Or do you mean he's terminal and they're pretending he's not? Because I don't see how they would keep that information from Jack. He's still an adult.
 
I've met plenty of annoying Krishnas. You can have them and their crappy food. I suppose it might be OK if you stopped by pollo loco and picked up some breasts and thighs and tried to slip it in while they're not looking.
Cultists are kind of annoying by definition. It's literally what they do. They annoy people into joining them.

There's just degrees of it. Krishnas will kind of chant at you and whatever and that's as far as it goes. Then you have the really bad ones that put snakes in your mailbox and shit like that.
 
I guess it was “date night” at the home last night. Tammy busted out Jack and they went to see a Jesus movie.

(I hope this attached properly because the farms have been giving me shit loading pages.)

What are the odds that he stuck to whatever diet he’s supposed to be following?

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How would Jack not going home even work? Would they complete the sale and just not pick him up at check-out time?

Or do you mean he's terminal and they're pretending he's not? Because I don't see how they would keep that information from Jack. He's still an adult.
The house is up for sale, probably because it would have to be fitted with things like a stairlift, which would be both expensive, and impact the resale value. They'll likely buy a bungalow or a house that's already been fitted out for a non-ambulatory individual.

I imagine they're moving for two reasons - as they're anticipating a whole load of medical costs, and secondly because they need to move somewhere that Jack can get around in his scootypuff. The house sale seems to be evidence enough that they don't expect Jack to walk anytime soon, if ever (you have to keep in mind that when it comes to muscles, you use them or lose them, so every day that he stays in a chair increases the likelihood that he never walks again).

By the looks of the video tour, their bedroom is already on the ground floor (I seem to remember them giving Qali the top floor after he got married, too, which may have been a cope for him not being able to safely hold the banister after the previous stroke) so they can get by, but, whats the point in having a two storey house if you're only going to be able to use one
 
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I guess it was “date night” at the home last night. Tammy busted out Jack and they went to see a Jesus movie.

(I hope this attached properly because the farms have been giving me shit loading pages.)

What are the odds that he stuck to whatever diet he’s supposed to be following?

View attachment 4703124
He would have done what he always does. Gets a large popcorn with artificial butter flavored grease, pours it into the drink holder for his and Hammy's super jumbo sized Diet Coke. Then go back and ask for a refill.

He's called this a lifehack so you both get your own popcorn.

The house is up for sale, probably because it would have to be fitted with things like a stairlift, which would be both expensive, and impact the resale value. They'll likely buy a bungalow or a house that's already been fitted out for a non-ambulatory individual.

I imagine they're moving for two reasons - as they're anticipating a whole load of medical costs, and secondly because they need to move somewhere that Jack can get around in his scootypuff. The house sale seems to be evidence enough that they don't expect Jack to walk anytime soon, if ever (you have to keep in mind that when it comes to muscles, you use them or lose them, so every day that he stays in a chair increases the likelihood that he never walks again).
No need for a stairlift as the master bedroom is on the ground level.

They're originally downsizing because the house is too big for just the two of them. Although now they probably need the extra money to pay for Jagoff's health crisis.
 
They're originally downsizing because the house is too big for just the two of them. Although now they probably need the extra money to pay for Jagoff's health crisis.
I just can't get over the sheer delusion of that fucking asking price and mentioning Cooking With Jack in the listing. If the only appeal it has is as the former set of Jack's show, that is a small fucking market. Who among us is a crazy millionaire with a desire to set up a Jack-themed Airbnb?
 
I just can't get over the sheer delusion of that fucking asking price and mentioning Cooking With Jack in the listing. If the only appeal it has is as the former set of Jack's show, that is a small fucking market. Who among us is a crazy millionaire with a desire to set up a Jack-themed Airbnb?
A Jack-themed Airbnb sounds like something out of a horror movie. The food alone would be a nightmare
 
I'm so sick of this fuck bitching about fucking everything with his hospital stay. You'll never learn anything, just eat what the hospital tells you to eat and shut the fuck up.

View attachment 4687181

….how many fucking eggs is this?

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Initially I‘d agreed that portion size is a decisive factor in the stroke addled brain that mushmouth landwhale Jagoff uses in his decision making process. However, he bitched Friday about the amount of eggs delivered on his plate. Inspecting the two pictures, the portion sizes are virtually the same. Consequently, I have two working theories.

1. On the Saturday night road trip to the movie theater, Hammy stopped by the local quarter operated wash and wax and used the pressure washer to douche the sand out of Jack‘s Vagina.

2. In Fatty’s diabeeeetus influenced reptilian level programming any amount of sugar overrides portion size as a total positive. Thus sugar laden Cinnamon Roll = absolutely more guuuuddder!

Fuck you FatJack, you’re not there for a Michelin rated culinary experience (as if you actually know what that would be anyway).
 
I guess it was “date night” at the home last night. Tammy busted out Jack and they went to see a Jesus movie.

(I hope this attached properly because the farms have been giving me shit loading pages.)

What are the odds that he stuck to whatever diet he’s supposed to be following?

View attachment 4703124
Pray harder, fatty, I'm sure the big J just can't wait to magically heal you THIS time, he's so fond of ignorant hateful religion-LARPers.

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I hope every single one of those eggs is over what Jack's health plan will pay for. Enjoy your $45 breakfast every day, lardass.
 
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