I know Jack's a stroke brain and what not, but I'm unironically going to ask 'What?'
Jack is ANGY that kids exist, he'll probably call them Millennials despite Millennials now being in their 30s and 40s because he's an impossibly out of touch boomer.
I'm assuming he's talking about that TikTok drink trend. You mix alcohol, water, and electrolytes made in one gallon containers. They're usually 1/5th alcohol leading to people think it's safer to drink that then a bunch of alcohol normally (protip, it isn't).
It's probably all over Jack's Tiktok feed, because he knows he should be boycotting Tiktok BECAUSE CHINERRRRR HACKIN US but he's addicted to it. Probably following the same kind of hot young men that Qali does.
Well, a normal person in Jack's situation would be there to get better. I'm increasingly thinking Jack is there to die gracelessly, bitching and complaining about trivial shit the entire time instead of getting his affairs in order and getting right with God, who hates him.
Isn't it weird that this unfunny asshat hasn't died yet?
And yet Jagoff, when he was that age, would drink like a fish himself. In other words he's a fucking hypocrite.
This is literally old as time. College kids always do stupid shit like this. We had the green goddammit which was basically half Gatorade half Everclear. It was called that because it was such an absolutely repulsive concoction you'd say goddammit on the first slug. Soon you wouldn't care, though. Or the old trick of cutting a hole in a watermelon and hollowing it out enough to take a fifth of Everclear and let it absorb for about a day before chopping it up and dumping the resulting mess in a punchbowl, then adding other fruit and fruity liqueurs and whatever to it. That was called jungle juice.
Isn't it weird how "Scalfani" rhymes with "Die and go to Hell already, you evil fat fuck?"
If it's not care workers, it's service personnel, retail staff, total strangers in front of him at a drive-thru. Jack's entire existence has been to be a burden on every person who comes near him. The thought of dying young after such a pointless, disgusting life should terrify him.
He absolutely ate the pancakes.
Spending all of his time on some Chinese garbage app instead of trying to get better to get back to his 'career'. Like he should be in PT/OT at least one or two hours a day, right? How is this never mentioned by the King of Karens? We all know he would say something if he actually had to do it. The baby can't even stand not having mustard. How much would he ree about being forced to stand? He reminds me of the worst patients on My 600lb Life. They would insist they were incapable of doing anything but lying in bed and stuffing their face despite that not being the case at all. I imagine Jack has DD and when he bitched about breakfast, he ate it, then ordered Cracker Barrel's most calorie ridden slop for Real Breakfast. Ad nauseum for all the other meals.
Since he's of sound mind (on a relative scale) they can't force him to do anything. They can invite and encourage him to come to his PT session, but he can just say "No Thanks" and that is that. I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if he was arguing that the lack of food has him too weak to do the therapy or some such shit with them.
