I wish to preface today’s update with a note apologizing to everybody in the thread, for two reasons that go hand in hand together, much like my hand and the pistol I used to shoot Clarence Quilty.
After being away from the farms for much of 2022 and documenting Kevin’s idyllic life for the past 3 (2? Lord only knows) months, I had forgotten just why you all harbored particular disgust for him, aside from the things I observed in this time (such as: being pretentious on twitter, stupid takes on trans issues and society, continually buying and shopping for toys, etc).
Well, now I do. Because he has posted photos of his amhole, and I impulsively clicked on it before judging the consequences of this action. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I wept. I long for some terrific disaster. I had never seen the amhole before, but I can no longer say that.
TL;DR: Put Humbert back in the sanatorium. He has seen the amhole.
This is gonna be a longer update due to there being two days of content and Kevin was quite active on Twitter. I’m not even bothering to put yesterday into a spoiler, because it’s actually one of the most interesting updates. This (minus the amhole photography) is what I come here for. I’m here for nerd media, political takes, and troon cope.
On Wednesday night, he tweeted about Secret of the Kells. [
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He went on a political/news rampage, retweeting things like this from fellow lolcows Katelyn Burns and Erin Reed.
Kevin’s first tweet of the day at 8 AM: hoping that Senator Mitch McConnell dies. There were a couple other tweets scattered on his timeline about Mitch too [
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Also scattered on the TL were retweets regarding this email shit going on. Here he points out that the author of this email has since re-transitioned because “queerness is more powerful than any gas could possibly comprehend”. More like “cultism and mental illness is more powerful than any fash could possibly comprehend.” [
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Here’s where the tweet I covered yesterday morning falls on the timeline. With more context, I can now see that he was going full Kevin mode, so it isn’t like he woke up and posted this. After all, he implied that he wants Mitch McConnell to die an hour prior to this. [
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A few retweets later:
Kevin, if you don’t even really like the stuff, why buy it? There’s other toys you could get your hands on that you actually want! [
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Again, I repeat my above message. Also, I’d love to see what else he’s got in his queer library. He mentioned elsewhere that he likes to have physical copies of all of the things in his queer library too, so consoomers gonna consoom I guess. [
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Here’s the tweet that was posted earlier about him shoving things up his amhole after the depth revision. Mark your calendars, people! [
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Tweeting this emboldened him to retweet his famous egg-cracking tweet, as well as some dronification fetish shit. I’d like to note that Kevin retweeted his Women’s Day selfie in the morning hours too, and throughout the TL there were a few other things of his that he retweeted for no apparent reason.
Add “monster fucking” to the fetish list! (I don’t say this for dronification bc despite him retweeting a couple different things from that account about it, I’d prefer for Kevin to actually say/imply it himself) [
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I feel like Kevin could be one of those guys who makes a career out of being a nerd, because he knows all of this shit. If only he actually tried to make a following out of that rather than being trans. And was slightly more entertaining in the process. Yeah, he could be wrong on the objective stuff sometimes, but aren’t all creators? [
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Retweeted some commentary regarding the trans data in this study, apparently Americans think 21% of the population is trans when in reality it’s 1% (idk specifics of the study, you don’t want to hear research method sperging, etc. I’m only sharing this to preface the next tweet).
Kevin here had some thoughts on this, such as: 21% of people being trans would rock, actually no fuck that 100% would be rad, 21% could be an actual statistic without cisheteronormative bigotry, and my favorite, “if you knew the heights of trans joy you’d beg your gods to give you the smallest sliver of this ecstasy”. [
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I know the heights of Kiwifarmer joy.
Oh and by the way, he retweeted the trans joy tweet later.
Today (well, yesterday now), Kevin started his day thinking about another elderly politician. [
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Yet again fighting his urges to buy toys [
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He then discussed other Star Wars stuff [
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The fact that Kevin can fit into his girlfriend’s skirt
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This was not a rare treat. This was fucking Islam. And he lied, there were a few other amhole pics. Don’t worry, archive is for this tweet itself, no photos.[
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Text of the horny tweet
I said it before and I’ll say it again, I hope my phone is never forensically searched, and if it is, I hope I’m dead. I didn’t know he has an NSFW account (kind of wish I still didn’t, should’ve figured he did though), so that begs the question: Why retweet furry sexual images and reply to actual porn on main???
It’s a robot rabbit, not Judy Hopps. [
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Wrote a lengthy thread about cis people that I didn’t bother to read really. From what I did read, I’m gathering that detransitioners and regret aren’t real to Kevin and other troons because they refuse to accept reality. [
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Going through the replies tab, we got shit like this where Kevin mentions he slept with a couple clowns. Kevin, everybody in your life is a clown. [
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Responded to a tweet from a private account where it looks like they shared their dead name. Kevin responds by saying that he thought Kevin was an embarrassing name but they got it worse. [
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I am remembering when he semi-ranted about how people with the name Kevin are unlikeable douches and then threw up some photos of characters named Kevin to prove this, one of them being Kevin from Ed, Edd and Eddy, which made me laugh. He wasn’t exactly
incorrect in this assessment, though.
We got a crossover with Strype, from the Korps thread (even though Kevin is the one who introduced us to Strype it still counts), in which Strype wrote a diatribe where he is clearly coping about having his bottom surgery, and Kevin chimes in, stating that he would like his dick back for a day because of nostalgia [
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Final cow crossover is a double, with Zinnia Jones and Erin Reed. Kevin calls Zinnia a hero. [
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Misc retweets
LMAO
I wasn’t kidding about the Mitch McConnell retweets, I laughed at this too
This shit took forever to write. The shock of seeing Kevin’s amhole wore off… after like half an hour. Still wish I didn’t see it though. Kinda gross.
