💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 905 58.1%

  • Total voters
    1,559
Jack’s rolling out, looking for America’s great wheelchair-accessible diners, drive-ins, and dives.

View attachment 4793440
That claw hand partially hidden inside his jacket sleeve looks so strange.

Like a stroked-out Deadpool baby hand.
13C1570E-9CED-4A1A-ABBC-21947F410ECC.jpeg

Speaking of Deadpool, remember how faggoty he looked in that hat?
E0EA49EC-0362-4B77-98D5-ED3B53367897.jpeg 61B0E74B-3687-421C-917E-E9B2D0CFFB73.jpeg
 
Have Jack's legs always been that atrophied from disuse. or has the stroke accelerated things? Fucking meatball with toothpicks in it physique over here.
 
Is that a recent pic? Because if so, how in the fuck do you get FATTER in the nursing home?? Isn't the point to lose weight and recover? Bonkers.
At least before he hobbled around his house, filmed his shitty cooking show, and went outside. That's at least a minimal amount of physical activity.

Now all he does is sit in bed eating. He's become the stereotypical morbidly obese archetype that does nothing but lay in bed, eat, and eventually die. If he had been following the diet in the hospital and nursing home, he would have lost weight. Instead he's doubled down with multiple meals a day and Tammy indulging in her feeder fetish.

He's going to spend the rest of his life in bed and getting fatter until one day his heart says "fuck it" and he dies.
 
So for one thing, of course he's dreaming about bacon. Dreaming about butter too, asshole? Second, why the fuck is he sharing his own posts just a minute later?

Screenshot_20230316_153651_Facebook.jpg
 
Jack’s rolling out, looking for America’s great wheelchair-accessible diners, drive-ins, and dives.

View attachment 4793440
Thank you; this puts things in perspective. (I am not the right kind of autist to draw lines and angles all over a photo of Jack in his kitchen.)

Looking at the geometry exhibited, I think Jack could hold a urinal over his urethral opening while in a wheelchair. The problem would be getting to it.

The confounding factor, besides his body habitus, is the sitting position. From my experience with naked aging fat men, he does not have enough free penis accessible to pull through the slit in a pair of briefs and then a trouser fly, much less over the top of sweat pants.

Healthy male urinators may argue, but please consider that you are imagining pulling your clothing down while standing. Jack is in a sitting position, with dubious leg strength/control. He is sitting on his pants and underwear and holding them in position.

After that, the problem is his single hand. If Jack could get a nub of dick exposed, it would rubberband back into his clothing when he let go to pick up the urinal.

As a veteran of elderly debilitated voluntarily-incontinent fat people, I predict Jack will discover external urinary catheters, although possibly not until he is at home and in Tammy's 24/7 care. Not a texas cath, for obvious reasons; probably the dick daisy Men's Liberty, for its design and for its mighty daytime TV advertising budget.
 
Thank you; this puts things in perspective. (I am not the right kind of autist to draw lines and angles all over a photo of Jack in his kitchen.)

Looking at the geometry exhibited, I think Jack could hold a urinal over his urethral opening while in a wheelchair. The problem would be getting to it.

The confounding factor, besides his body habitus, is the sitting position. From my experience with naked aging fat men, he does not have enough free penis accessible to pull through the slit in a pair of briefs and then a trouser fly, much less over the top of sweat pants.

Healthy male urinators may argue, but please consider that you are imagining pulling your clothing down while standing. Jack is in a sitting position, with dubious leg strength/control. He is sitting on his pants and underwear and holding them in position.

After that, the problem is his single hand. If Jack could get a nub of dick exposed, it would rubberband back into his clothing when he let go to pick up the urinal.

As a veteran of elderly debilitated voluntarily-incontinent fat people, I predict Jack will discover external urinary catheters, although possibly not until he is at home and in Tammy's 24/7 care. Not a texas cath, for obvious reasons; probably the dick daisy Men's Liberty, for its design and for its mighty daytime TV advertising budget.
All of this is horrifying to imagine. :cryblood:
 
All of this is horrifying to imagine. :cryblood:
More of an extrapolation than an imagining. Nearly everyone pees; it's gotta go somewhere somehow. What reveals our character are the choices we make about urination.

External catheter while not actually incontinent would be very on-brand for the Lazy Man. Maybe he'll claim they sent him some as an endorsement deal.
 
Tryhard Duckfaggot is back, singing the praises of Honest Tries, a YouTuber with a similar schtick as Should I Series. HT is making a party cheese salad, and less than a minute in, August makes it clear that he (once again) made no effort to do prior research. He makes it sound as if HT is the first to do a party cheese salad video, ignoring the fact that there are quite a few others already on YouTube.
>He admits to fucking up and deleting the first attempt at filming the above video.
>Unlike most of his Jack uploads, this isn’t too abbreviated.

It doesn’t look like the HT Party Cheese video has ever made it to this thread.
I like this video. Party Cheese Salad videos are oddly comforting, but this one is especially so. Dude has astounding fortitude, considering that he could chew and swallow a bite of that garbage without heaving. But just looking at his face, you can tell that he was really struggling to hold it together.
 
If he's supposed to be losing weight, all that food is a terrible idea. The whole notion of a big breakfast or "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" comes from a time when most people worked physical jobs, often without a lunch break.
It says a lot about this stupid asshole that he's managed to Karen so hard that they're giving him two breakfasts even though they know it's why he's dying. They want him dead. Anyone who has to cope with this fat faggot would want him dead.
Jack’s rolling out, looking for America’s great wheelchair-accessible diners, drive-ins, and dives.

View attachment 4793440
What the FUCK? This tub of shit is getting even FATTER? What the fuck is WRONG with this ASSHOLE?
Tryhard Duckfaggot is back, singing the praises of Honest Tries, a YouTuber with a similar schtick as Should I Series. HT is making a party cheese salad, and less than a minute in, August makes it clear that he (once again) made no effort to do prior research.
I am starting to hate August as much as Jack himself. He is pretty much the Jack Scalfani of Jack Scalfani A-Logs.
 
Last edited:
So for one thing, of course he's dreaming about bacon. Dreaming about butter too, asshole? Second, why the fuck is he sharing his own posts just a minute later?

View attachment 4795498
Look man, Jack has had to eat hospital food a whole bunch and so he's earned eating several packages of bacon. He just needs to be careful to not have sugar free sweetener on it so he doesn't have another stroke.
 
Back
Top Bottom