- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
shit bros, the database errors and white pages are starting
he's already inside the gibsons
null is dead
we ain't gonna make it
dibs on the ropesoap
Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.
- Thread starter Mr Moonface
- Start date
shit bros, the database errors and white pages are starting
he's already inside the gibsons
null is dead
we ain't gonna make it
dibs on the ropesoap
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2021
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
You know it's weird to me though that Fat Rick is so fucking retarded he's not even the best at being Fat Rick. This new guy is way better at it without even trying. Plus he can grow a beard, best I've ever seen Rick do is some stubble on several of his chins.
Maricón de Mierda
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2021
Wrong as always, child. You will not replace
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
I haven't seen anyone employ the Puppetmaster Defence like this since I was on SA in like 2008. And even then it was a tired cliche that would get you laughed off the forums.
I'll bet dollars to his wife's donuts that he had an SA account back then too. He has the Goon phenotype. He's like a caveman frozen in a block of ice, except instead of a neanderthal he's a time capsule back to 2005 internet, which was probably when he peaked in life and he's mentally stuck there. It would be pathetic if he wasn't so obnoxious, so instead it's just funny.
I'll bet dollars to his wife's donuts that he had an SA account back then too. He has the Goon phenotype. He's like a caveman frozen in a block of ice, except instead of a neanderthal he's a time capsule back to 2005 internet, which was probably when he peaked in life and he's mentally stuck there. It would be pathetic if he wasn't so obnoxious, so instead it's just funny.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
It's always special to witness the birth of a cow. or the afterbirth that is a cow, or something like that.
Anyways, I hope this doesn't bring up any painful memories for our new friend.
Anyways, I hope this doesn't bring up any painful memories for our new friend.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2022
If my hopes are answered then the next lolcow will be a psychological cow; they will nitpick your every word and misspelling and try to profile you, trying to come off as 120 iq. They will diagnosed you with every issue and also claim they're right. They also used to be everywhere.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
I understood that he meant that it was a knife used to spread butter. Presumably, the baby sitter had been watching Last Tango in Paris and was emulating Marlon Brando's assfucking Maria Schneider after he lubed up her butthole with butter.
Because she had no dick to do the raping with, I assume she just reached for the closest thing, ie, the butter knife. But did she use the blade of the knife or the handle? If someone says 'I got raped by a knife', it's implicit that you're talking about the blade. Otherwise you'd specifically say 'I was raped using a knife handle'. But could anyone *really* burst a small child's sphincter with a knife of any kind without bleeding being involved?
Sad to say, but I think he's making this whole thing up.
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2023
The flabbier the gunt is, the more smug the lolcow pretends to be.
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2015
9 years ago, shane and his fiancee spent a lot of time laughing together at people on XBOX technical discussion forums. Golden days, before the marriage and almost immediate divorce.
before the fiancee, he just laughed with a large group of people.
before the fiancee, he just laughed with a large group of people.
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- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
The vocal similarity to piggy is definitely there. Literal tough guy material.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
I'm pretty sure that's a fish knife.
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2017
I can't help but read all of Shane's post in the voice of an Xbox Live squeaker. I'd say he acts like he's perpetually 12, but even when I was 12, me and my friends would've rolled our eyes and called him a faggot. When I was a kid and my parents told me that the guy talking about all the awesome stuff he did was a 30 year old man in his parent's basement, that man was Shame Porks.
What an absolute queer. He won't even get to make good on his threat to throw me in jail since Patrick Tomlinson's gonna get there fast. I'd tell him to grow up and stop acting like a 12 year tough guy on Xbox Live, but he's so retarded he thinks "grow up" means stuff his nasty face full of food. No wonder he's so fat.
What an absolute queer. He won't even get to make good on his threat to throw me in jail since Patrick Tomlinson's gonna get there fast. I'd tell him to grow up and stop acting like a 12 year tough guy on Xbox Live, but he's so retarded he thinks "grow up" means stuff his nasty face full of food. No wonder he's so fat.
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2019
God dammit, another tax payer funded gunt.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
Indeed they have been.
Holy shit, it really is like 2005 Goon bingo. Constant, unnecessary and out-of-context mentions of
MY FIANCEE just to prove he is the Alpha Nerd and is definitely NOT A VIRGIN YOU MEANIES, for he has managed to find some desperate fat chick with a personality disorder to use as a fashion accessory and has put a ring on it because he fears he can't do better. Didn't go so well, huh? MY WIFE* thinks you're pathetic, I was just talking to MY WIFE about you and MY WIFE laughed at your divorce and your current sow's gunt.*MY WIFE is a supermodel and flies fighter jets and built her own scanning electron microscope at age 3 and works for Nintendo and has a copy of GTA 7 no you can't see it you LOSER
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- Joined
- Jul 23, 2021
I haven't read the Patrick thread but this one is so funny, that I've really gotta check it out. Always exciting to get into a new cow, it's like finding a good TV show with like 20 seasons and a thriving fan base. I hope I'm in for a good time
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2021
I'm not caught up on my Patrick lore, but this guy is beautiful. I've not laughed so hard in weeks just reading his antics. If he can keep up this momentum his cowdom could be golden.
I hope he can get another fiance soon.
I hope he can get another fiance soon.
Meriasek
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
Dang, Shane "Daddy Cum Cannon" Nokes has his sights on us. I heard that back at Microsoft, he was such a brutally efficient troll destroyer, the Secret Service asked him to protect the president from being called a nigger faggot on Xbox Live. We're done for, boyos. I'm gonna use my full power and enable the seventh proxy, but I'm sure King Shane is gonna waltz right through all my defenses. Did you know he programmed flight sims at age 4? He's a certified genius.
He's the geeky tech equivalent of the original mall ninja. Someone gotta write "this is Bill. Disengage, code phrase 'spring bloom'" or something to him.
He's the geeky tech equivalent of the original mall ninja. Someone gotta write "this is Bill. Disengage, code phrase 'spring bloom'" or something to him.
Fag Albert
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2015
He'll eventually track us down at 4210 Wolfetown Rd, Cherokee, NC 28719