Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 783 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,380
A countertop steam oven really changes the asparagus game. 190F with 100% steam for ~13 minutes. Perfect crisp tender asparagus every time. Works well with other green vegetables as well.
Absolutely ditto having a countertop steamer. Also try it for hard-cooked eggs and prawns. Hey, get us, we're providing more and better cooking advice than Jack has provided in his entire career.
 
When I was first introduced to Jack on the food gore threads on /ck/ ages ago, I would have sworn that it was salmonella that would do him in. He has exceeded my expectations in every way. When he shuffles off to the chilli cook-off in the great beyond, I won't shed anny tears. I fear that we have gotten our last undercooked chicken from him. I wish Cinema Robert would post more cooking.
 
Wait a second, that menu.

Two packs of Splenda? What the fuck, I thought Jack had already discovered the magical thing that gave him his stroke! Don't tell me he can't suck it up and go by without dumping sweetener on everything!
But it's Splenda that has sucralose which isn't a sugar alcohol so it's totally safe. But yeah he should be learning to go sugar free on everything he can. But no he's such a baby he needs that sweet taste in his weak ass coffee.

The best thing the Deity ever gave us was cruciferous vegetables. Anyone who hates them basically hates God and worships Satan.
You definitely have to admire how they grew all those veggies from basically one plant.
 
Anyone who doesn't like broccoli is pretty much subhuman.
scalfani-ok.jpg
 

This is from Jacks lesser known podcast 'Eye to Eye.' In this episode he interviews fellow domestic abuser Kent Hovind about the evils of evolution.

The 🧩s are pure kino 👌
This is my ultimate cow crossover... I can't believe I've never seen this before.

In the words of Cody Green, who my account is named after... listening to this going to be the "cleanest, best pleasure"
 
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Eat before you eat. Meat gud
That's some next level manbaby fat fuck bullshit. Man-fetus?

edit: I thought it was pulled pork at first, and now that I looked at the dish a second time, that really does look like pulled pork or am I being bamboozled somehow? The strokebrain is real.
 
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This is waking me up to what's going on. Jack hasn't stood on both legs for two whole months. He shows no sign of improving. They're both dumb as dirt, but they probably aren't praying for a miracle anymore. Tammy probably realizes his death is imminent. His physical form is shedding away, and Jesus is preparing a plate for Jack at the big barbecue in the sky. Tammy probably realizes the best thing she can do for him is make his last few months on Earth as comfortable as possible.
 
I stroke it to the right, I stroke it to the left, I stroke it to the cerebellum that I love best.


He's just a total piece of shit in every way.

If Jack was just a goofy fat guy with a good heart and fun sense of humor who loves cooking and food, even when he screws it up and can joke about it, it'd be a whole different situation. I think everyone here would wish him well.
Jack could be a decent guy.. "Hey I'm Jack and not a good cook but I'm gonna try to make this" or "Hey I'm disabled and trying to cook" but he's just such an entitled asshole that you want to kick him in the gunt.

Also LOL at the WTF "burn". The only "job" this tub has had is being a DJ. I did that shit back in college after ripping bongs. Not exactly rocket science.
 
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Eat before you eat. Meat gud

I know that he means that Mommywife is bringing him chicken wings, but I initially read it as "well I'm dying soon so might as well eat the ribs." Which, to be fair, is happening soon. Red Bull Four strokes gives you wings!
 
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