Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 783 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,380
View attachment 4862241
Eat before you eat. Meat gud
I like how most people who are in his situation would liken Christmas day to they day they got out of the home or achieved some mobility/success with their PT.

But for Jack, his Christmas was ribs for his first dinner and fast fud as the next.
 
Think Jack would ever an hero?
No, he's too conceited and vain to wish to die. Any suffering he may face is not an insurmountable problem in his mind - its someone elses problem. Jack will never look for a way out because he genuinely believes that it is gods responsibility and everyone elses responsibility to find a way out for him. A man like that does not kill himself by deliberate action.
 
Think Jack would ever an hero?
Nope, big sky daddy said its a big no no so Jack would never do that.
However hes unintentionally killing himself via the sin of gluttony. Its not his fault though all those health issues were because of sugar alcohols, energy drinks, coffee and tap water.

Speaking of tap water, I cant wait for his chronic kidney stones to strike again in his current state.
 
Why hasn't someone on Boomerbook asked Jagoff one simple question: Why exactly are you posting pictures of food you're being served in a nursing home?

I'm sure he'd be Seething In Hell about why this perfectly legitimate question wasn't posed to him 'privately', thin-skinned little bitch that he is.
I'd be surprised if he hadn't received a DM about it. He quit posting this shit on twitter after his initial complaint about biscuits and gravy with a side of eggs being "prison food" at the beginning of the month when people told him off for being an ungrateful dickhead.
 
Think Jack would ever an hero?
I think his religious convictions and his being a pussy would deter him from following through with it. He’s probably far from thinking about it even now.

Still, I could see even him experiencing suicide ideation if his life got to the point of being intolerable to even his low standards. To where he couldn’t even enjoy his one favorite thing in the world- füd. It would be great if he had another stroke that didn’t kill him, but rendered him quadriplegic and unable to chew/swallow.

He’d probably spend his days thinking, “if I could pull a trigger, I’d kill myself.”
 
Nope, big sky daddy said its a big no no so Jack would never do that.
However hes unintentionally killing himself via the sin of gluttony. Its not his fault though all those health issues were because of sugar alcohols, energy drinks, coffee and tap water.

Speaking of tap water, I cant wait for his chronic kidney stones to strike again in his current state.
If he's got limited feeling and control in his legs, he may well have nerve issues higher up too. I'm not sure if it'd be a blessing or a curse for him. On one hand, he may be spared some of the suffering of the passing. On the other hand, if something gets blocked or infected, he may barely notice the initial pain symptoms and end up with a serious matured sepsis if all goes sideways.
 
Absolutely ditto having a countertop steamer. Also try it for hard-cooked eggs and prawns. Hey, get us, we're providing more and better cooking advice than Jack has provided in his entire career.
My latest soft-cooked and hard-cooked eggs method is in an air fryer. They turn out the same every time. Absolute perfection.
Think Jack would ever an hero?
Jackhole's entire life has been a gluttonous, slothful, sluggish and lazy an hero.
His physical form is shedding away, and Jesus is preparing a plate for Jack at the big barbecue in the sky.
Jesus isn't preparing shit for Jack.

Jack will still be amazed when he ends up with the dude with goat legs and cloven hooves.

He'll Karen out until he gets a pitchfork in his ass.
 
View attachment 4862241
Eat before you eat. Meat gud
What an asshole.

That's some next level manbaby fat fuck bullshit. Man-fetus?

edit: I thought it was pulled pork at first, and now that I looked at the dish a second time, that really does look like pulled pork or am I being bamboozled somehow? The strokebrain is real.
It's probably taken off the bone because it's too hard for his Mushbrained ways. Although if that's the case should he really be eating wings? Or maybe it's rib meat in the same way that McDonald's has the McRib.

Jack isn't even the worst person in Jack's life. Tammy is. What an incredibly enabling sow. No wonder he drools over her on Facebook every chance he gets.
She wants him dead and by doing this she's going to try to make it look "natural".

Think Jack would ever an hero?

Nah. Hardcore Christians like Jagoff don't do so because according to them that sends you straight to hell. Besides Hammy is going to kill him with fast food.

Speaking of tap water, I cant wait for his chronic kidney stones to strike again in his current state.
If this faggot drank more water he wouldn't get kidney stones. Sure he says the water in Hendersonville is very hard so that's to blame but if that was the case EVERYBODY would be getting them. Strange it only seems to happen to him.
 
My latest soft-cooked and hard-cooked eggs method is in an air fryer. They turn out the same every time. Absolute perfection.

Jackhole's entire life has been a gluttonous, slothful, sluggish and lazy an hero.

Jesus isn't preparing shit for Jack.

Jack will still be amazed when he ends up with the dude with goat legs and cloven hooves.

He'll Karen out until he gets a pitchfork in his ass.
Eggs in an air fryer, I need to try that recipe. Is there an amount of time and setting I should aim for?
 
Eggs in an air fryer, I need to try that recipe. Is there an amount of time and setting I should aim for?
I use 270 for about 9 minutes for soft. Your fryer may vary. But if you peg the proper amount of time, they turn out exactly the same every time, unlike the usual boiling water method where the results seem fairly random.
 
I use 270 for about 9 minutes for soft. Your fryer may vary. But if you peg the proper amount of time, they turn out exactly the same every time, unlike the usual boiling water method where the results seem fairly random.
If you wanna talk about boiling water, I autistically standardize a lot of things. Eggs straight from the fridge, EVERY TIME, so the core stays cooler, and also to standardize the temperature. Heat to a rolling boil to start, EVERY TIME, so it's the same temperature. Overwhelming ratio of water to eggs, EVERY TIME as the more eggs per pint the more heat they absorb; thus reducing the temperature. And I go for about 7min before taking them out and putting them in an overwhelming amount of cool water to stop them cooking. I like adding a bit of vinegar to the boiling-water to soften the shells a bit, so i can crack them more easily without busting them.

My usual way to eat the resulting hard-boiled-looking-but-with-a-soft-yolk eggs is to soak them in soy sauce, getting something akin to a ramen egg, or ajitamago if you want the jap term. If i'm too lazy to wait, I'll cut them open and drip soy sauce on them
 
Holy shit, I never thought he'd post the menu. We now have confirmation for one of my "favorite" Jackisms, TRIPLE PORTIONS.

I forget who it was, probably Pink Chicken, but someone pointed out that almost ALL of the Jack on the go videos have a restaurant abutting a second restaurant.

The joke at the time was that Jack had to have first dinner before Jack on the Go dinner.

I noticed there would often times be at least THREE ENTREES on the table, even when it was just Jack and Tammy. Jack would fag about with the "I'm giving it to homeless people" larp.

You know what homeless people refuse to eat? Food with a fat fucking bite taken out of it.

VINDICATION!
 
Wait a second, that menu.

Two packs of Splenda? What the fuck, I thought Jack had already discovered the magical thing that gave him his stroke! Don't tell me he can't suck it up and go by without dumping sweetener on everything!
Of course Jagoff is still on the sugar alcohols..

Splenda is notorious for giving really bad diarrhea, so I salute to the poor fucking nurses at the nursing home cleaning up Jagoff after he shits himself and/or overflows the bedpan. Once the insurance runs out, good luck Hammy! Have fun cleaning the DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS. You truly deserve this for being the equally fat enabler.
 
I like adding a bit of vinegar to the boiling-water to soften the shells a bit, so i can crack them more easily without busting them.
And when I do it with water I have done all these tricks and still been unsatisfied with the results. The air fryer method? Perfect every time. No weird stunts, just push buttons.
 
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