Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[Probably An Autist]

My theory about his microsoft jobs being about "cybersecurity and social engineering" is if some 13 year old gave his password out to a guy for free xbox live points and he had to reset it. Or, in the case of his sooper sekrit nonce finder job, banning people sending "send feet plx" to said 13 year old.

 

[Red Facist Bunny]

My theory about his microsoft jobs being about "cybersecurity and social engineering" is if some 13 year old gave his password out to a guy for free xbox live points and he had to reset it. Or, in the case of his sooper sekrit nonce finder job, banning people sending "send feet plx" to said 13 year old.

But he was "Stopping crime" m'kay

Fr I get the same vibe from him being the lowest tier customer complaints department guy

I mean it would be funny asf if Microsoft was out in the world stopping 9/11's everyday but sadly I don't think that's likely

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

Does he actually know that he’s full of shit but somehow expects others to believe him?

This is common with Internet tough guys. They think because it's the Internet it can't be fact checked or people won't bother to. Usually it's just a little lie or exaggeration here and there but this guy did that with his whole career and day to day life.

I think deep down he knows he's a fucking loser but thinks he can remain an anonymous super hackerman because that's what he tells people. I've known people who retire in their 40s and typically they don't beg for rent money. Shane knows this but refuses to acknowledge that he's a loser. It really is amazing that he went from relatively unknown to front page in like 2 weeks.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

If this fat retard has somehow convinced himself that he really is a l33t h4x0r/ government pedophile hunter and personal acquaintance of Bill Gates, how does he account for the fact that he lives in poverty and has to beg for money on the internet?

Being a broke joke of a NEET is just his cover. He lives like a fat stupid slob so the hundreds of pedos he's put behind bars don't track him down and fart in his wife's grossly unkempt cunt.

He just seems terribly insecure. At its base, that's what drives all of his online Secret Squirrel LARPing.

 

[Broadside]

How does this happen? What kind of mental illness compels someone to behave this way? To tell so many obvious lies with such conviction? Until his other social media accounts were dug up, revealing this same pattern of behavior going back decades, I was convinced that he was a troll. But he seems to genuinely believe all the bullshit he spews. If this fat retard has somehow convinced himself that he really is a l33t h4x0r/ government pedophile hunter and personal acquaintance of Bill Gates, how does he account for the fact that he lives in poverty and has to beg for money on the internet? How did he convince himself that he “hacked” the O and A forums and gained access to all their data? How does he browse this thread, while at the exact same time deny that he’s doing so? How does someone have that much cognitive dissonance? Does he actually know that he’s full of shit but somehow expects others to believe him? Can a butter knife up the ass really do this much damage to someone’s psyche?

What a fascinating cow.

I think it's basically a lack of/too much parental attention growing up and an insecurity complex. It literally all begins with good or shitty parenting. He's soured into a bitter and gross person and this current trend of victim= automatic good person has fed these freaks into the abominations like Shane.

He's very self-pitying too, I've noticed. Likely Munchausen because if you're ill and weak people won't demand things from you. Speaks volumes that his job basically revolved around playing Vidya. Maybe his mom coddled him and he learnt to make up illnesses to stay off school and play games.

Shane you can play games till you die of heart failure in this day and age, you don't have to be an embarrassment on the internet as well. You learnt a harsh but valuable lesson fucking with the Pests and KF. Don't forget it please.

 

[RowboatGirlyman]

I mean it would be funny asf if Microsoft was out in the world stopping 9/11's everyday but sadly I don't think that's likely

*Radio crackles*
Sir, sir. Please do the needful and cut the yellow wire. Yes, each and everything.
NO, DO NOT TOUCH THE RED ONE
DO NOT TOUCH, BITCH, I FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
*Signal abruptly cuts off*

 

[CuzinEd]

So, he likes to brag about his low paying customer support job.

Nice.

When was he an Xbox customer support agent? In the early 2000's. I can't get any customer support that isn't street shitters these days.

Must suck knowing you lost your job to someone with a room temp IQ that shits in the streets.

 

[King Kiwi]

Superb OP work, Moonface. Delusions of grandeur is one of my favorite lolcow milk flavors.

I seem to remember another fellow similar to this, far more retarded, name started with an 'O'.

 

[AnOminous]

How did he convince himself that he “hacked” the O and A forums and gained access to all their data? How does he browse this thread, while at the exact same time deny that he’s doing so? How does someone have that much cognitive dissonance?

Why doesn't he post some of this super hax0r info?

Maybe he's just a fat, gay liar.

 

[Fapcop]

How does this happen? What kind of mental illness compels someone to behave this way? To tell so many obvious lies with such conviction? Until his other social media accounts were dug up, revealing this same pattern of behavior going back decades, I was convinced that he was a troll. But he seems to genuinely believe all the bullshit he spews. If this fat retard has somehow convinced himself that he really is a l33t h4x0r/ government pedophile hunter and personal acquaintance of Bill Gates, how does he account for the fact that he lives in poverty and has to beg for money on the internet? How did he convince himself that he “hacked” the O and A forums and gained access to all their data? How does he browse this thread, while at the exact same time deny that he’s doing so? How does someone have that much cognitive dissonance? Does he actually know that he’s full of shit but somehow expects others to believe him? Can a butter knife up the ass really do this much damage to someone’s psyche?

What a fascinating cow.

Most people find out right around 20 that they’re not particularly interesting or exciting.

They’re not going to be a cool CIS dude on TV or rock star or influencer.

If they’re raised, not even well, but just somewhat decently, they’ll be depressed for a few months and then accept it.

They live normal, unremarkable lives, start families and throw their energies into hobbies. You know, live decent, normal lives.

And then there are the faggots who refuse reality. They take a good look at their fat, heifer wife, their bottom tier tech/Walmart job…. And flew into Reddit or Twitter where they can LARP to their hearts content.

Most of the audience there are other failures like themselves, but if everyone keeps LARPing, embarrassing outings are avoided.

 

[Meat Target]

His smugness reguarding that former Microsoft employee ID card has the same aura as Marines in fobbit trades like vehicle maintenance. It's like Al Bundy from Married with Children always bringing up his High School football days.

At least Fobbit Marine can say he didn't wash out of Basic and endured government bullshit. And as others have said, 4 touchdowns in one game is a life accomplishment.

Someone whose life peak is working in tech support once upon a time is a level of loserdom previously thought impossible.

 

[Vapid_Idiot]

I feel like a lot of these are exaggerated half truths. Like his boss was given a subpoena for phone records of a support conversation he had with someone, so he twisted the story into this weird cia larp. Same with the ‘retirement’, which is likely just semantics for being shit canned. The entire point of being retired is having enough income to pay your bills until you die. Microsoft likely told him “we are retiring your position” before he was laid off and he is too retarded to understand the difference. But I do believe he is telling the truth about being savagely and violently anally raped with a buttery hot butter knife.

 

[ten dollars off]

Whatisthematrix

 

[MG-34]

At least Fobbit Marine can say he didn't wash out of Basic and endured government bullshit. And as others have said, 4 touchdowns in one game is a life accomplishment.

Someone whose life peak is working in tech support once upon a time is a level of loserdom previously thought impossible.

You're not wrong. It's just bizarre to see someone so smug for working an unimpressive gig and not be universally mocked. Are there more of these guys? I'd imagine there has to be a bunch of faggot career moderators from the likes of reddit, 4chan and twitter that try to throw their weight around to win arguments on social media.

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Good morning Shane! Today is Monday. To most people Monday is a significant day because for many people it is the start of thier work week. I felt the need to point this out because you are a lazy sack of shit who leeches off of working people while sitting on your massive corpulent ass and pretending like you have any actual value online.

For those if us not so grotesquely obese as to qualify for disabillity, and not so lazy as to happily beg the government for gibs, working gives us a sense of pride and accomplishment. Hell as a trucker I can attest that many men who are even fatter than you (yes I know it's a high bar and hard to believe, but it's true) still manage to work, despit the fact that just climbing in and out of the cab gets them out of breath. You on the other hand spend your days online making up lies about yourself that are so unbelievable that even 13 year old spergs would know better than to twll them.

Anyway I got up at 4:45 and drove a load to a walmart DC before writing this, while your faggot ass is prolly still asleep. Thanks for helping increase our taxes you useless drain on society!


BTW it is now day 6 and we are still waiting for the knock while laughing at the "Superior Intellect"

 

[Rickenbacker]

Dude looks like mundane Matt and dsp fused together

 

[FATTESTCUNT 2.0]

Same with the ‘retirement’, which is likely just semantics for being shit canned. The entire point of being retired is having enough income to pay your bills until you die. Microsoft likely told him “we are retiring your position” before he was laid off and he is too retarded to understand the difference.

Yeah, he's full of shit. Between July 2008 and May 2016 when he "retired", he worked for MS, either directly or through contractors, for a grand total of 4 years and 4 months in low level positions. That's the sum total of his MS "career".

He was definitely fired. He admits it here: -

Shane Nokes on Twitter: "@jennylayfluffy @Microsoft Indeed...and fire…

archived 27 Mar 2023 13:17:46 UTC

archive.is

And: -

Shane Nokes on Twitter: "@Microsoft I remember believing in MS... ...…

archived 27 Mar 2023 13:21:56 UTC

archive.is

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Dude looks like mundane Matt and dsp fused together

Plain Phil?

 

[Throwing Romans]

A professional faggot would propably have more sex.
Considering the inadequate tools he has to work with, I doubt their gunts have enough flexibility shared among them to achieve penetration.

You don't need flexibility when you have the right equipment

Spoiler: gross

Pannus retractor being used in surgery to contain the gunt

 

[Poonocchio]

He's a they/them, polyam and very obviously autistic (and fat), how long until he troons out?