Ehh, it's either Sonic 2, Uwe Boll's Postal or Paul WS' Mortal Kombat movie.
Mario Bros. Set to Jump to Big Screen in Movie Deal with Universal’s Illumination - Paging Movie Bob, Paging Movie Bob...
- Thread starter Elwood P. Dowd
- Start date
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- Jan 1, 2020
And just like that, I’m now going to see this movie TWICE.
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- Jan 29, 2021
As a spic, fuck that faggot.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2013
Yeah. fuck you Leguizamo. Stop appropriating my Italians, you sped.
Turtles Jagger said:
They clearly didn't know how to handle Peach. A "less is more" approach would've been better. Seeing her kick ass with-the-rest-of-the-men(TM) in every scene meant that each individual effort was ironically less special. It could work for Daisy since she feels a need to prove her own value, but Peach doesn't have that. If I'd seen this in early concept I would've vetoed it.
Peach is more of a minimalist ruler who only puts her foot down when she has to. Take Galadriel from Peter Jackson's LotR for instance: she doesn't fight, but she's unquestionably powerful and has authority over her domain.
Peach would be better with a similar handling - cut the obstacle course acing, her initial standoff with Bowser (in her kart costume) and her scheming during the wedding from the film. You give her one fight where she demonstrates that she's capable of holding her own when she wants to, which would probably be a less sassy version of the wedding battle. That way you can imply that she could do things like the obstacle course if she needed to, but she doesn't think it is necessary. Instead, you have her consistently reassure Mario through his failings as he gets better and not give up on him. The idea is that as a ruler she understands how to choose the right people for the right job, and as a person she believes in the good of her subjects and others because she is a fundamentally good person herself. People don't love her because she's a helpless damsel, but because she's a benevolent leader who is worth saving.
Peach is more of a minimalist ruler who only puts her foot down when she has to. Take Galadriel from Peter Jackson's LotR for instance: she doesn't fight, but she's unquestionably powerful and has authority over her domain.
Peach would be better with a similar handling - cut the obstacle course acing, her initial standoff with Bowser (in her kart costume) and her scheming during the wedding from the film. You give her one fight where she demonstrates that she's capable of holding her own when she wants to, which would probably be a less sassy version of the wedding battle. That way you can imply that she could do things like the obstacle course if she needed to, but she doesn't think it is necessary. Instead, you have her consistently reassure Mario through his failings as he gets better and not give up on him. The idea is that as a ruler she understands how to choose the right people for the right job, and as a person she believes in the good of her subjects and others because she is a fundamentally good person herself. People don't love her because she's a helpless damsel, but because she's a benevolent leader who is worth saving.
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- Jul 8, 2022
I have a feeling Grant Kirkhope would approve.
Thank you! I keep seeing people trotting out her solo DS game to defend scenes of her girl-bossing and my reaction is always, "Oh! You mean the super GIRLY game where Peach uses her EMOTIONS like super powers to clear all those stages? THAAAAAT DS game?!
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2013
Funnily enough. it also drew criticism for being insanely easy, "impossible to die" if you will. Almost like they feared the target audience was incapable of finishing it...
AskeDead
kiwifarms.net
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- Jul 5, 2022
97/100 movie, it's unironically kino
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- Mar 12, 2021
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- Dec 3, 2013
*insert multiple clips of “The Pest” here*
AlmightyMagichan
kiwifarms.net
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- Mar 23, 2014
Leguizamo must have not gotten the memo from Hollywood that Italians are apparently considered part of the Caucasian group now. Not gonna be able to play the race card on this one.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
A Luma. And yeah, the whole bit he was playing was completely out of place and very inappropriate for a Mario film.
Anyway, the movie was just okay.
Didn't care much for how Peach was portrayed, but that's expected for current year to make every female the stereotypical action woman. Like, you don't even have to have her locked up in Bowser's keep the entire film, you could have kept her general personality she had in the games and still be strong when she needed to be. But it was dumb to have her surrender only for her to effectively single handle Bowser and the entire wedding by herself.
Luigi definitely got shafted as well. You had Charlie freaking Day casted as him, and you relegated him to a cage for over half the film. All that comedic potential wasted. Would have gladly axed everything around DK for a B-plot of him trying to get back to Mario.
The ending scene with the orchestral version of the invincibility theme was pretty awesome though, not gonna lie. And I liked that they brought back the Super Show theme and the DK rap.
Luigi definitely got shafted as well. You had Charlie freaking Day casted as him, and you relegated him to a cage for over half the film. All that comedic potential wasted. Would have gladly axed everything around DK for a B-plot of him trying to get back to Mario.
The ending scene with the orchestral version of the invincibility theme was pretty awesome though, not gonna lie. And I liked that they brought back the Super Show theme and the DK rap.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2022
I'll go a bit more into why I thought it was boring
I thought it was just a kind of generic kids movie, the story is pretty much the same as many others and doesnt take any kind of risks, so everything just happened as I was expecting but with a Mario skin.
Its a serviceable movie, the cameos were cute, like the gamecube start up being Luigi's ringtone, and I thought the finale was easy the best part of the movie
other than that I really hated everything to do with the Kong kingdom lol, Kranky was ass, and DK was literally just Seth Rogan, and the 80s music was very out of place.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
What's so fucking offensive about it? Christ... from everything I hear it's the most Inoffensive thing out there.
Italian ≠Spic you retarded mongrel.
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- Feb 6, 2023
If they end up making a sequel and Wario and Waluigi show up who would be the best voice for them? (Probably their original voice actors but this is Hollywood we are talking about so it’s going to be a celebrity voice)
I think Danny DeVito is the obvious Wario voice, but I don’t know who should be Waluigi.
I think Danny DeVito is the obvious Wario voice, but I don’t know who should be Waluigi.
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- Oct 12, 2022
Nicolas Cage
PS1gamenwatch
kiwifarms.net
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- Oct 26, 2015
Says the man in yellowface
And who pays the bills for most of Hollywood these days?
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
Took my lil' bros to see it today, and it's definitely serviceable. It's clearly a condensed abridgment of the Super Mario franchise in something palatable. They missing stuff for an "abridgment"? Oh most definitely, can't shove in too much fanservice, but it's whatever.
Will I watch it again? Eh, maybe, but it's not a must-have or must-see, really. Was just a nice way to kill 90 minutes. Critics are only pissed at it because it's super bare-bones, like we're not going to get an epic plot out of the Mario Bros, guys. Not every kids' movie is going to be thunk-provoking and such. Meanwhile, I hope Nintendo continues to keep Illumination on a tight leash, but it just means they're going to continue playing things safe and sanitized for children. Oh well...
But as a result of having to move from point A to point B quickly, we don't get a lot of attention to character motives or backstory/whatever outside of an aside. Like I kinda like seeing what Mario and Luigi's family would be like (they're not stereotypically Italian, hilariously enough, but it's obvious they are), but we literally only get one scene and it's just to go "Son, I am disappoint" because being a plumber is a silly dream...? In fact, honestly, I kinda liked it when it was just Mario and Luigi in Brooklyn, even if the scene with the "hellhound" pouncing in the bathroom felt forcibly contrived.
But the stuff about their dad also leads to one of the best decisions of the movie: Not giving us a heart-to-heart bullshit between Mario and Donkey Kong. They butt heads and their only real common ground is their fathers are disappointed in them, though DK is all like "LOL I have to agree with your dad" even though he was mad that everyone only sees him as someone who likes smashing things, and before they can have a sappy moment of talking to each other, they're interrupted by the eel's upset stomach and call a brief truce to escape. This is most likely because Mario already had an intimate one-to-one conversation with Peach earlier, and the two are being hinted at at becoming an item like how we know them, it just doesn't happen in the movie. Probably in the sequel.
Actually, it's weird how much Mario is belittled throughout the movie. Like yeah, he's a fish out of water, he just can't be taken seriously at all, least not until he manages to complete certain tasks like clearing an obstacle course and defeating DK in confrontation. But even that isn't always enough. Like his dad criticizes his decision to leave a construction job to run his own plumbing business with Luigi, and he's only proud of him after the two of them save Brooklyn at the end, which is... strange, to say the least.
That's probably why Bowser hating his guts so much is funny because he's super insecure about other men grabbing Peach's attention. Bowser doesn't know anything about what Mario is like except that Peach is apparently taking notice of him in that way, and it rustles his jimmies hard. I thought he'd use Luigi as bait, but nah, just throws him in the dungeon where he stays for majority of the movie--which sucks 'cause like had Luigi not dropped the plumbing tools, he could've potentially had a jailbreak moment to try and prove himself that he doesn't need to rely on Mario protecting him anymore. The flashback to the two of them as babies had him with a guilty complexion, so I was hoping that would happen, but nah, it's more important to have a nihilistic Luma instead, which was some real "What the fuck" stuff.
Back to Bowser, he was definitely worth the price of admission. I'm glad the trailers didn't give away his true intentions for getting the Power Star, although it should've been the obvious ploy that it's all to get Peach's hand in marriage (although the normie movie-goer doesn't know that lol). It's pretty funny that he reveals his plan to his troops and they all stop what they're doing to give him that "WTF" look, clearly no one likes their boss enough to even pretend to be supportive on him finding a wife, even if it's Princess Peach. "Peaches" being the secret song of the movie was great, someone's definitely going to crop that imagine spot of Peach giving him the "fuck me, King Koopa" eyes. But yeah, kinda tickles me pink that Bowser and Mario (according to this movie) only have a rivalry because he's the jealous type who thinks Mario is more handsome than he is only because Luigi mentioned it. Not gonna lie, it's bittersweet that Luigi thinks Mario is a better man than he is to the point he had to outright say that women have bad taste in men if they think his brother is not good enough for them.
Now as for Peach, I'm okay with her. Was she too much in control and in charge? Yeah, but she is the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and her Toads are all peace-loving shorties who stood no chance against invasion. From the sounds of it, she had to take up that mantle once she was crowned princess because they're her responsibility, though she might've had to be trained to be able to become worthy of being the princess. The movie saying she's not from that world I find rather interesting, but it's not stated if she's from the same world as Mario and Luigi, or not. It's possible they're setting groundwork to reveal this in a potential sequel with Rosalina and Daisy, perhaps. Like saying she may be the lost sister of Rosalina, for instance, which would suggest she has hidden powers (which the games seem to allude to anyway?).
Still, though, her interaction with Mario was odd at first, and definitely feels like there must've been some rewrites or something 'cause it feels artificial/forced for her to start liking him within a day's worth, y'know? I kinda like how she reacts to his size, and I got used to her making expressions that she hasn't made before probably since The Super Mario Super Show, but I dunno, still seems like she doesn't really care for him too much until the very end in Brooklyn. 'Course, she doesn't give him a kiss at the end, they may be holding off on that for later for all I know. But like, also, the very ending where Mario and Luigi head for work in the Mushroom Kingdom is also another tidbit that feels like they cut out a scene or whatnot because that was just a sudden "reveal" after saving Brooklyn and getting their father's praise. So they just decide to live in the Mushroom Kingdom just like that? Luigi especially? Not buying it, man.
Also lol at that end credits scene pulling a Godzilla '98.
Jokes were hit and miss, for sure. Most of it seems more like sight gags (or nudge-nudge references) than verbal quips, though, but eh. Also was it just me, or was there weird dithering during the platform scene with Mario and Luigi running through the construction site?
But the stuff about their dad also leads to one of the best decisions of the movie: Not giving us a heart-to-heart bullshit between Mario and Donkey Kong. They butt heads and their only real common ground is their fathers are disappointed in them, though DK is all like "LOL I have to agree with your dad" even though he was mad that everyone only sees him as someone who likes smashing things, and before they can have a sappy moment of talking to each other, they're interrupted by the eel's upset stomach and call a brief truce to escape. This is most likely because Mario already had an intimate one-to-one conversation with Peach earlier, and the two are being hinted at at becoming an item like how we know them, it just doesn't happen in the movie. Probably in the sequel.
Actually, it's weird how much Mario is belittled throughout the movie. Like yeah, he's a fish out of water, he just can't be taken seriously at all, least not until he manages to complete certain tasks like clearing an obstacle course and defeating DK in confrontation. But even that isn't always enough. Like his dad criticizes his decision to leave a construction job to run his own plumbing business with Luigi, and he's only proud of him after the two of them save Brooklyn at the end, which is... strange, to say the least.
That's probably why Bowser hating his guts so much is funny because he's super insecure about other men grabbing Peach's attention. Bowser doesn't know anything about what Mario is like except that Peach is apparently taking notice of him in that way, and it rustles his jimmies hard. I thought he'd use Luigi as bait, but nah, just throws him in the dungeon where he stays for majority of the movie--which sucks 'cause like had Luigi not dropped the plumbing tools, he could've potentially had a jailbreak moment to try and prove himself that he doesn't need to rely on Mario protecting him anymore. The flashback to the two of them as babies had him with a guilty complexion, so I was hoping that would happen, but nah, it's more important to have a nihilistic Luma instead, which was some real "What the fuck" stuff.
Back to Bowser, he was definitely worth the price of admission. I'm glad the trailers didn't give away his true intentions for getting the Power Star, although it should've been the obvious ploy that it's all to get Peach's hand in marriage (although the normie movie-goer doesn't know that lol). It's pretty funny that he reveals his plan to his troops and they all stop what they're doing to give him that "WTF" look, clearly no one likes their boss enough to even pretend to be supportive on him finding a wife, even if it's Princess Peach. "Peaches" being the secret song of the movie was great, someone's definitely going to crop that imagine spot of Peach giving him the "fuck me, King Koopa" eyes. But yeah, kinda tickles me pink that Bowser and Mario (according to this movie) only have a rivalry because he's the jealous type who thinks Mario is more handsome than he is only because Luigi mentioned it. Not gonna lie, it's bittersweet that Luigi thinks Mario is a better man than he is to the point he had to outright say that women have bad taste in men if they think his brother is not good enough for them.
Now as for Peach, I'm okay with her. Was she too much in control and in charge? Yeah, but she is the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and her Toads are all peace-loving shorties who stood no chance against invasion. From the sounds of it, she had to take up that mantle once she was crowned princess because they're her responsibility, though she might've had to be trained to be able to become worthy of being the princess. The movie saying she's not from that world I find rather interesting, but it's not stated if she's from the same world as Mario and Luigi, or not. It's possible they're setting groundwork to reveal this in a potential sequel with Rosalina and Daisy, perhaps. Like saying she may be the lost sister of Rosalina, for instance, which would suggest she has hidden powers (which the games seem to allude to anyway?).
Still, though, her interaction with Mario was odd at first, and definitely feels like there must've been some rewrites or something 'cause it feels artificial/forced for her to start liking him within a day's worth, y'know? I kinda like how she reacts to his size, and I got used to her making expressions that she hasn't made before probably since The Super Mario Super Show, but I dunno, still seems like she doesn't really care for him too much until the very end in Brooklyn. 'Course, she doesn't give him a kiss at the end, they may be holding off on that for later for all I know. But like, also, the very ending where Mario and Luigi head for work in the Mushroom Kingdom is also another tidbit that feels like they cut out a scene or whatnot because that was just a sudden "reveal" after saving Brooklyn and getting their father's praise. So they just decide to live in the Mushroom Kingdom just like that? Luigi especially? Not buying it, man.
Also lol at that end credits scene pulling a Godzilla '98.
Jokes were hit and miss, for sure. Most of it seems more like sight gags (or nudge-nudge references) than verbal quips, though, but eh. Also was it just me, or was there weird dithering during the platform scene with Mario and Luigi running through the construction site?
Will I watch it again? Eh, maybe, but it's not a must-have or must-see, really. Was just a nice way to kill 90 minutes. Critics are only pissed at it because it's super bare-bones, like we're not going to get an epic plot out of the Mario Bros, guys. Not every kids' movie is going to be thunk-provoking and such. Meanwhile, I hope Nintendo continues to keep Illumination on a tight leash, but it just means they're going to continue playing things safe and sanitized for children. Oh well...
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
Oh I'm definitely going to see this movie now! Fuck John Leguizamo. I love how this faggot tries to make the 1994 movie about himself.