My prediction: The Honorable Judge Sha'niqua Goldstein will take a look at all the documents Pats presents (which will all be altered in a way to make him look good, as usual). And as she finishes reading it, while has still has her head down, she'll just lift her gaze at Pat, without even bothering to move her head and ask, with that squeaky tone in the beginning of a sentence that only a very impatient fat black woman can muster:
"So lemme get this straight: aaaaaaal this is because some people called you fat, right? Have you got eyes boy? Lemme tell you this: I'm fat. I loove them chicken wing uhuuum. But I still got earlobes! Boy, you look like you robbed a whole Popey's and somehow still ended tup with that alien peanut-shaped head! What's wrong wityou??"
'But... Your Honor child, I don't! I...I work out, I swear! just give me a minute, I'll show you my gym pics they're great, will see, I'm all sweaty, just a min..."
"SIT YO FAT 44 SIZED ASS DOWN! ....34?? Really?? Come on sir....You know what? Nevermind, this is not about you, It's about your debt! .... that offense right there was just a freebie. Ya know what doesn't matter., moving on!"
"So, back to the main issue: we're taking about a poor third world creditor who lives in the filthy streets of Mumbai, who's been living on nothing but pennies (
"sir, please, stop drooling, you're ruining this court's floor") and waiting years to get his dues.
"The court also recognizes that the defendant has plainly stated that he will NOT pay his debt, even under court order, as proven in audio presented by independent journalists with obvious gigantic schlongs. Also, this court recognizes the many photographs taken by the debtor himself showing his many travels and willing posted on social media (whispering in disbelief: "Jesus Christ why on Earth would you do this Patrick you do have a 1.7 GPA")"
"Therefore, due to the many many MANY prior proofs the defendant does not adhere to reality and will try to pretend both there's no order to pay and that his not obese by any medical standard, this Court determines Patirck S Tomlinson to IMMEDIATELY have his assets seized by the bailiff Mr. Ryan Staker
until the 40.000 dollars are paid in full. I say just 40.000 dollars because your Mustang and you book rights have already been acquired thought auction by some members in the audience area: the gentleman in the WoW shirt, the gentleman high on cocaine with the 5 sinks by his side screaming "ARIA HERE WE GO!!", the anthropomorphic Honeybadger and his gigantic tits latina, and the schizo lady who's showing everyone her nudes right now and that 9-foot tall lizard by Chewbacca's side. Also, Trump and Ellon Musk, for some reason"
"Case dismissed!"
